Read The Battered Heiress Blues Online
Authors: Laurie Van Dermark
We finished eating and adjourned to the drawing room. Kate turned on music while Gabe shuffled the cards. I filled three baskets full of food. They would act as our poker chips. We took our seats. Let the games begin.
N
o one had noticed Henry walking through the front door. Gabe, Kate, and I were about to show our cards. We were playing the final hand. By this time, we were plastered. I had won Gabe’s tie and was wearing it around my face like a headband with it hanging down my cheek. Kate had swindled him out of his hat an hour ago and took to wearing it backwards. Gabe had won my pink kiss the cook apron which he wore proudly with the accompanying chef’s hat. Little did he know that we were strategically letting him win to give him a false sense of security. Kate and I were in our element. We were the Harvard card sharks. Many a monthly allotments from daddy had been lost to us during college.
I was sitting on a queen-nine. The pot was full of every delicacy stashed away by the caterers. I knew what I had to do. I was feeling lucky. I would bet my favorite Godiva chocolates against Kate’s caviar and Gabe’s Kobe steaks. They were going down.
The bets were placed and there was only one thing left to do. Kate knew she was beaten with sixteen. She graciously bowed out and threw her hand down in resigned defeat. -Gabe’s turn. He dazzled us with his saucy smile and then tossed his queen-eight into the center of the table.
“How do you like that, you vixens?” He began taking stock of his winnings- his hands rummaging through the pot.
Kate was amused. “I don’t know, Jewels, how do we like that?” She filled our shot glasses with tequila and slid one in front of me.
“I don’t know Kate. Usually, we like to lick it, slam it, and suck it, don’t we?” I slowly laid the queen down on the table as she dusted the side of our hands with salt. Gabe looked like a deer in the headlights.
I started to lay down my final card as Kate taunted him. “Wait for it… wait for it...” Gabe could barely contain his impatience.
The nine hit the table and our happy dance began. We made one full circle around the table hooting and hollering before stopping in front of our shots. We were a sight. In unison, we lifted the glasses and toasted our victory.
“God save the Queen,” I announced, in my best British accent, complete with a proper curtsy.
“God bless America,” Kate twanged in her best Southern belle impression.
We roared laughing as we licked the salt, slammed the drinks, and sucked the limes. Gabe looked oddly perplexed. I grabbed a beer off the table to chase the tequila.
“Don’t be a sorry sport. You’re just a loser.” I couldn’t contain my laughter, but quickly noticed that no one was joining in. Kate had that serious English look on her face like she was straining.
“What?” I inquired. Gabe cleared his throat and nodded his head toward the door- a clear signal that I was too drunk to pick up on.
“What’s wrong with your head?”
A smooth male voice said, “He’s trying to warn you.” I couldn’t register where it was coming from.
“Warn me about what Gabe?” I still couldn’t see how the sound came out of his mouth without his lips moving.
“I need to be getting home,” Gabe heralded, quickly standing and gathering his meager winnings, which included a bottle of Dom Perignon- early card shark sacrifice to reel him in. He skulked out the front door, awkwardly saying hello to Henry as he left.
“Tru,” I gleefully announced. “Where have you been hiding?” I sauntered over to him with the tie still hanging down, partially covering my eye. I threw my arms around him.
“You’re smashed.” He released my hold and walked over to turn the music off.
Kate started to walk up the stairs. “And don’t think you’re off the hook. I gave you one job- one job! You had to keep Julia out of trouble for three days. Three days while I tried to get some things sorted. This is how I find you? You’re both lit. Jackson called today, I’ll have you know, threatening a lawsuit about his car. The sheriff came here?”
Kate was glad to speak in our defense. “The man in the pink apron was the sheriff.”
“Be serious.” Henry was irate.
“No. Really. The man in the apron…yeah, the sheriff,” I added.
He stood shaking his head in disapproval.
“I don’t feel so good,” Kate said, sitting down and vomiting on the steps.
Henry looked me in the eyes and pointed to the chair. “You sit here while I take her upstairs.” He walked over and took the bottle out of my hand, throwing it out the front door. Lifting Kate over his shoulders like a sack of potatoes, they disappeared.
Considering that I was in no mood to follow his silly rules, I confiscated the six pack of beer on the table, and opened another brew. Swaying back and forth to Ray Charles singing
Ev’ry Time We Say Goodbye
, I turned right into Henry’s waiting arms. I hadn’t won him over yet. His smile was still crooked.
“You’re cross with me.”
“Yes.”
“Dance with me.”
“You’re impossible.”
“Dance with me, come on. You want to. I can tell.” He reluctantly moved to the music.
“Why would I want to?”
“Because, I’m irresistible.” I gave him my best seductive grin.
“Well, there is that, but then again…I have a strict policy about…”
I kissed him mid sentence. Enough chatter. Full on, hands in the hair, where have you been all my life type of kiss. My legs lifted off the ground and wrapped around his waist.
“You taste like a distillery, Jewels. Honestly…off to bed.”
I kissed his neck and lips as he carried me up the stairs and into my room, pulling him down on to me as he tried to lay me back on the bed.
“You won’t sleep with your girlfriend?”
“Girlfriend?”
“Well, what am I?” This was unchartered territory.
Henry sat up and started to undress me, removing the tie off my forehead and then my pants.
“Now we’re getting somewhere.” I leaned forward and began trying to lift his shirt. He thwarted my attempt.
“Typically, when I have sex with a beautiful woman, I require some level of active participation…that she’ll remember. No you don’t.” He quickly moved my hands off his trousers. “We’ve waited far too long for me to make love to you in this state of depravity. Sleep it off. You have a nasty mess to clean up tomorrow. -Night.”
Henry flipped the light off and closed the door. My eyes were heavy. I could fall asleep, except for the washing machine in my stomach, turning and churning. I could feel the burn start moving up my throat. Quickly stumbling to the bathroom, I knocked over everything in my path. Throwing back the toilet seat in the knick of time, I vomited on the curls that had fallen forward. I aimlessly searched for a towel, but felt his leg instead. He stood over me, pulling my hair back while the alcohol and food had their revenge.
“Let’s get you back to bed.” He handed me a cool washcloth.
“No…stay here.” I wouldn’t budge. Movement of any kind made me queasy.
Henry sat down, leaning up against the bathroom wall, opposite the toilet. He pulled me back between his legs and my head rested on his chest. I fell asleep.
Loud noises crashed through my consciousness.
What was that damn noise
? I forced my eyelids partially open. They were immediately scalded by the sun blazing through the uncovered windows. The sound of metal clanging together was brutal and unnecessary. Kate pushed my door open bewildered.
“Bugger. What is it with you Americans in the morning? Why don’t people use the expensive intercom system in this mansion?” There she stood in the same clothes she had worn the previous evening and her eye shades pushed up on her forehead. Her hair was sticking out in several different directions. Dried vomit had made a visible line from her mouth to the bottom of her chin.
“Not American. It’s a Brit…your brother, I imagine. Yes, I’ll have to show him how to use the intercom system. Either that or duct tape his mouth and hands.”
“I vote for duct tape.”
“Let’s go you tarts. The noise ends when you‘re sitting at the kitchen table.” Henry persisted to torment us with his demands from below, banging the pots and pans until we essentially half-crawled and half-walked down the stairs, stopping for a rest mid-way.
He sat at the head of the kitchen table, behind his Wall Street Journal feeling awfully smug. The smell of eggs made Kate and me audibly gag. He had prepared breakfast with all the trimmings. We sat at his side, across from one another. My head found its rest on the table about the same time Kate began to laugh.
“Nice hair,” she said, pointing at me.
I gave no reply. Instead, I slid the food off the silver tray and held it up to her like a mirror. “Who’s laughing now, rooster?”
Henry was amused as he peeked over his newspaper. He neatly folded it and laid it down in front of him. He was all business now, sitting forward and preparing us for his plan.
“Eat if you like, then go upstairs and put some work clothes on. No arguments.”
Kate’s face visibly soured. “Work clothes?”
“Julia has felt sorry for herself long enough and you’ve proven yourself to be a wretched influence. Today, we move forward.” I started to open my mouth. “No talking. Listening. While you hung-over degenerates slept the morning away, I rode to the nursery and purchased sod and flowers to repair Connor’s grave from the storm. We’re working in the cemetery today to make it a place that we can go and be with him. It is time to trim down those privacy hedges and work it out- together. So…go upstairs and get dressed. We don’t honor the dead by getting drunk and going mad. We honor Connor by living.”
“But I have plans with Gabe today...”
Henry shot Kate a look that clearly demanded compliance.
“…and I’ll call him to push it back until this evening.”
“Perfect. Daylight is burning. I have to leave this afternoon to take care of some business. Let’s get a move on.”
“You’re leaving again.” My face instantly formed a pathetic pout.
He leaned over, kissing me on the forehead and stroked my tangled web of hair.
“Cheer up. I’ll be back tomorrow.”
I wasn’t cheery. I was tired of him leaving.
He stood and walked away from the table. We grumbled, but eventually changed clothes and made our way to the cemetery. I stopped in front of the gate, frozen, unable to go in. Kate saw me hesitate and grabbed my hand in a show of support as she swung it open. I jumped as it banged closed behind us.
Henry quickly placed a square of sod in my hand and instructed me on how to lay it out. He was cutting pieces to fit near the walkway. Kate drew a sponge from a bucket of soapy water and washed down Connor’s headstone. When we completed the clean up, we moved over to my mom’s grave. I hadn’t visited the house since her birthday last year and the plants had become overgrown. We trimmed the trees and shrubs and fished leaves out of the fountain. Within a few hours, we had restored beauty to an ugly place.
Henry pulled out the hose to water down the sod. We felt compelled to pour our bucket of water over his unsuspecting head. A full on water fight ensued. It felt good to be able to laugh in the cemetery, with my son. I knew that this was a place for me- for my comfort. Tommy was right when he said that Connor only knew joy and peace. Funerals and headstones are for the living.
Henry began to eye his watch. I knew that our time together was coming to an end. I was getting used to the view of his back as he left me. He recoiled the hose and went on ahead to change, while Kate and I stayed back to gather the garden tools.
“What are your big plans with Gabe?”
“It’s a surprise.” She looked at her watch.
“What time are you meeting him?”
“Thirty minutes. I better run ahead and get a shower. Will you be okay? You can always come over.”
“I’m a big girl. I do alone very well. I’ve had lots of practice.”
“If you’re sure?”
“I’m sure. No butter knives or razors. Don’t worry. Go on. I’ll get this stuff put up. I plan on taking a very long nap. I need one after last night’s festivities. Give Gabe a kiss for me.”