The Bathing Women (49 page)

In what way did they resemble each other? Could it have something to do with the silent, scentless Persian chrysanthemums?

4

“How are you going to drink the liquor, cups or glasses?” Tiao asked Wan Meicheng.

“How do you want to drink it?” Wan Meicheng asked.

Youyou brought them a bottle of Five Grain Liquor and Wan Meicheng said, “Good, Five Grain Liquor is perfect. Out of all the kinds of liquor, Chen Zai drinks only Five Grain, right, Tiao?” She looked at Tiao, and her nostrils started to flare again.

Tiao said nothing, but she agreed silently. Chen Zai just loved to drink Five Grain Liquor and had almost succeeded in teaching her to like it, too. But she didn’t want to start their discussion with this subject. Two women talking about the habits of the man who had been intimate with both embarrassed Tiao, and she worried that it might be painful to Wan Meicheng.

Wan Meicheng said, “We can drink out of a teacup, or the rice bowls. I remember, in a movie that had a farewell scene for a hero, they all used rice bowls for liquor. No one used those little wineglasses.”

Youyou said, “Teacher Wan, we aren’t heroes and none of us can hold our liquor very well. Let’s not use rice bowls.” Youyou’s daughter was a student at Wan Meicheng’s school, so Youyou addressed her as Teacher Wan.

Wan Meicheng said, “No, we’re not heroes, we’re … heroines, not to mention the fact that I’m really leaving, off to the wars. Youyou, bring out your bowls, pour us the liquor.”

Youyou took out three rice bowls and poured the bottle into the three bowls, and the odour immediately assailed their noses.

Wan Meicheng raised her bowl first, playing the hostess, and said, “Cheers.”

But Tiao and Youyou didn’t move; they had both heard Wan Meicheng say that she was leaving. Tiao asked, “Where do you plan to go, Wan Meicheng?”

“I plan to quit my teaching job and go to Gabon. My uncle sells clothes in the capital, Libreville, and needs a helping hand. He wants me to come and I want to go, too.”

Tiao said, “You mean you’re going to leave China? I thought you were going off to another city on some personal errand.”

“I didn’t intend to mention it today. Why should I talk about myself? Tiao, what’s your relationship with me? Unlike you and Youyou—you’re friends—we have none. And Youyou, neither do we—I’m just your daughter’s art teacher. It’s nobody’s business that I’m going to Gabon. I could just slip away quietly, but human beings all have their weaknesses. I want to be generous but I can’t quite manage it. Tiao, the closer I’ve got to you, the more pain I’ve felt, but the more pain, the more I’ve wanted to see you. You’re the only bridge between Chen Zai and me. Are you afraid? Don’t be, I’m going away, aren’t I? I know I can’t go on like this anymore. One day I read a book that asked what the most intact thing in the world was, and the answer was that nothing is more intact than a broken heart. Everyone says books lie, but I don’t think so. When you’re most desperate, one line in a book could be a straw to clutch when you’re drowning, and even though it’s just a straw, it’s made me understand that I’m not that bad, but that I can’t keep pestering you like this, Tiao. Come on, let’s drink!”

Wan Meicheng picked up the bowl with both her hands and took a swig of Five Grain Liquor. Then she put down the bowl and asked, “None of you want to drink? I’ll drink by myself.” She took another gulp.

Tiao and Youyou picked up their bowls and drank. Neither of them could say anything to Wan Meicheng’s announcement. They could neither encourage her to leave nor convince her to stay. Tiao, particularly, felt that whatever she said to Wan Meicheng would seem cruel. No matter what she said, she’d just look like someone who was simply standing back to enjoy the commotion. As she kept drinking, she could only tell Wan Meicheng, “I never thought you were pestering me. Please don’t say that.”

Wan Meicheng sneered. “Tiao, this is where you’re a hypocrite. Do you really like me to be so close to you? When you heard that I was going to go as far as Gabon, you must have felt great relief deep in your soul. Only, the you on the surface still can’t face your soul, so you feel guilty about me. You’re not really sorry. It’s just how you were brought up. Do you think my words make … any sense … sense …”

Wan Meicheng was now blind drunk, reeling drunk, and she slumped to the table. Youyou called for a taxi and took her home with Tiao.

It was the first time that Tiao had entered Chen Zai’s previous home, which was a mess, an embarrassing state caused by the mistress’s neglect. They helped get Wan Meicheng into her bedroom and onto the bed. Tiao saw their large bed. Even though Chen Zai was long gone, two pillows still lay side by side. A crumpled bath towel was spread loosely over the right side of the bed, and the left side must have been reserved by Wan Meicheng out of habit. Man on the left side and woman on the right. Tiao knew Chen Zai preferred the left. It seemed Wan Meicheng would never sleep in the middle of the bed, even though Chen Zai was never going to come back. Now, even drunk, Wan Meicheng lay down on the right side of the bed. To look at this large bed that Wan Meicheng didn’t want to be faced with made Tiao especially sad.

She and Youyou closed the door and went to the street. They stood in the summer evening breeze for a while and then walked together to the Design Academy. They hadn’t walked side by side for a long, long time, and it felt like going back to old times, to their teenage years—on their shoulders, canvas backpacks with
Chairman Mao’s Quotations
inside, which included the words, “Revolution is not inviting friends to dinner.” It was when Youyou misquoted Chairman Mao that they’d got to know each other. At the time, inviting friends to dinner was their shared obsession. Further and further they kept walking into the Design Academy grounds. When they passed the awful manhole, they pretended not to see it. They finally entered the small garden and found a bench to sit down. Tiao said, “Youyou, I feel very sad.”

Youyou said, “Is it because of Wan Meicheng?”

“Not exactly.”

“When are you and Chen Zai going to get married?”

“Maybe in the autumn, when he’s finished the project he’s been working on.”

“Of the three of us—Fei, you, and me—you’ve been the happiest.”

“What do you think happiness is?”

Youyou said, “Happiness is when you feel happy.”

Tiao smiled. This was the reason that she had liked Youyou all her life. Whether Youyou felt happy or not herself, she could always make Tiao feel happy and at ease. This was the most precious part of Tiao’s life—her friends. This childhood friend of hers, Youyou, was always ready to help Tiao, and never judged her.

“Am I wrong?” Youyou asked.

“Someone said to me once, happiness is to be in your hometown, holding your sweetheart’s hand, and eating your favourite food! By that measure, you’re the happiest of us.”

Youyou said, “I haven’t read any books for a long time, but I think the lines that Wan Meicheng quoted were very true. It’s human nature to pursue the intact, but the most intact thing in the world is nothing but a broken heart. Tiao, my heart has never been broken. I’m a pool of stagnant water. When we were little, when we set up our banquets at home, I believed the thing that would make me happiest was to become a chef. Now I own a restaurant, but I don’t feel happy. Of course, I don’t feel unhappy, either. That’s what I meant by a pool of stagnant water.”

A cool breeze blew and Tiao smelled the faint odour of grease smoke in Youyou’s hair. She was not put off by the smell, because it was real, a reminder of the ordinary world.

As the wind stirred the leaves of the London plane tree, they both raised their heads simultaneously to look at it, perhaps thinking about the ring at the same time, too. Youyou said, “One year, Fei brought me here and asked me to help her get a ring that was in that tree. She said you threw the ring into the tree, and that it was a keepsake from Fang Jing. But she was short of money at the time and wanted to get the ring and sell it. She took me to the tree and we did see the ruby ring caught in a branch. She said, ‘Youyou, can you climb up and get the ring for me?’ I said I was too fat, and Fei said, ‘Maybe I can stand on your shoulders.’ I said I was afraid it would hurt. Fei said, ‘You don’t really want to help me.’ I asked, ‘Do you really need the money?’ Fei said, ‘It’s simple; if you feel you’re short of money, then you need it.’ In the end we didn’t touch the ring in the tree. Tiao, are you thinking it’s still there?”

“I’m thinking about something else.”

“What is it?”

“There is nothing more broken in the world than an intact ring.”

“Is that also from a book?”

“It’s from me.”

5

On Monday morning, Tiao walked into her office. The cleaner had done the cleaning, so the desk, the chair, and the floor all looked spotless, and so did the windowsill. The flowers had been watered, and the corn plant standing in the corner was growing vigorously. Tiao liked the corn plant very much, not because it was expensive—the plant might have been expensive when it first appeared in the north many years ago. Now it was commonplace, not expensive at all, which was precisely what Tiao liked about it. She saw the resemblance to a stalk of corn. When she felt tired of reading manuscripts and looked up from her desk to gaze at it across the room, she felt as if she were looking at a small piece of a cornfield, and that golden kernels were hidden under the fleshy leaves. Who said that the ripening corn was like little hands on the stalks? It must have been a poet. She didn’t remember. She liked this sort of metaphor. Crops were more human than flowers or other plants.

She sat in front of her desk and started to open a stack of letters on the desk. There was a letter from Fang Jing:

Tiao, how have you been?

You must be very surprised at receiving this letter. I hesitated several times before I decided to write. Next Monday, I’ll be at the premiere in Fuan of my new movie,
Going Home Right Away
. The distributor there invited me. Will you be in Fuan then? We haven’t seen each other for many many years, but I’ve never forgotten you. In Fuan, it’s you I want to see, nothing else. I think if I go to your publishing house, it might be inconvenient for you. Would you mind coming to my hotel? I’ll be staying at the Holiday Inn at Yunxiang Square, room 888. I pray to God that you receive this letter. I’ll call you when I arrive.

Tiao finished reading the letter and looked at the date and realized that the “next Monday” mentioned in the letter was actually that day.

Fang Jing’s letter didn’t cause too much emotional turbulence in Tiao. It just reminded her of the sixty-eight love letters that she had burned and drunk down. She didn’t plan to burn this one or throw it in the trash can. There was no need. It was not a love letter, and she was no longer the Tiao who clutched the sleeve of Fang Jing’s leather jacket and begged him to stay. She decided to go to Yunxiang Square to see him; she wanted him to see her as she was now, calm and confident.

She got Fang Jing’s phone call before her lunch break. Because of the letter, she was emotionally ready, so she was fairly relaxed on the phone. He said, “Tiao, how are you?”

She said, “Yes, Professor Fang, I’m very well.”

He paused briefly and then said, “Can we meet tonight? I’m fully scheduled for tomorrow.”

“Sure, we can meet.”

At eight p.m., she took a taxi to the Holiday Inn at Yunxiang Square, found room 888, and rang the bell. Fang Jing opened the door for her and there was gentle music in the room. She took the initiative to hold out her hand, as any polite guest who came to visit the host would do. But he didn’t take her hand; instead, he opened his arms and suddenly embraced her. She immediately smelled the cigarettes on his body. Disgusted with his gesture, she turned her head and said quietly, “Please don’t do this.”

Her seriousness made him release her immediately. She rushed to the window, stood with her back to Fang Jing, and said, “Let me repeat it one more time. Please don’t do this.” He then came at her from behind and again tried to embrace her. She cringed at his sudden attack. She drew in her neck and bent her body, and her tone was very serious, “Let me go. Please let me go!”

He let her go.

He said with some emotion, “I don’t know why I’d act like this as soon as I see you.”

“I don’t want you to.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think you would reject me. So, I see you still hate me.”

“Not at all, Professor Fang, I don’t hate you at all.”

“I mean you don’t love me anymore, right?”

“Yes, not at all.”

They seated themselves on two small sofas near the window. He lit his pipe and said, “Yeah, I should have known. Do you think I really look old?”

She glanced at his cheeks, which seemed to have sunken, and at the grey hair on his temples, and said, “Yes, you do look a little old.”

“Can you stop being so formal with me? Also, can you please not call me ‘professor’?”

“I can’t. I’m sorry.”

He fiddled with the silver lighter in his hand and said, “Compared to Westerners, I look pretty young. Western women like Asian men very much. But to be honest with you, I can’t stand them. Their skin is too rough. There’s no real pleasure in touching or even looking at it closely. But the hotels abroad are pretty comfortable. You know, once I went to Spain and stayed in their royal hotel at Madrid. In my room, the sheets, coverlet, pillowcases, bath towels, and even the washcloths were all embroidered with my name. Tiao, do you understand this was the standard? An extremely high standard. There is also this lighter in my hand. Do you know who sent it to me? The Queen of Denmark. Have you seen my movies in the last few years?”

She said, “I’m sorry, but I haven’t had much of a chance.”

“Yeah, I know that lately my movies in mainland China haven’t been as influential as those made by the fifth or the sixth generation of directors, but there are people abroad who recognize my worth. Not long ago, the University of Chicago invited me to give a lecture. Over there I met your younger sister, Fan.”