The Bartered Bride (13 page)

Her eye was caught by a small painting tucked between the bookcases and a storage cabinet. Moving closer, she discovered the portrait of a young blond woman wearing a gown of blue Chinese silk and a radiant smile. So this was Helena. Lovely and ethereal, she was a woman who loved, and knew she was loved in return.

Alex glanced involuntarily at the bed. Gavin and Helena had shared that bed. Quite possibly Helena Elliott had died there. Yet she felt no sad ghosts lingering. Ghosts were born of regrets, not happy marriages.

Reminding herself again that Gavin had chosen to put her in this cabin, she decided that her first goal must be to eliminate the horrible awkwardness between them. Otherwise, he might spend the whole voyage avoiding her and tormenting himself. That could not be allowed to happen, and she must be the one to make the first move.

The thought undermined her fragile composure, but the longer she delayed the harder it would become. She tied back her hair with a length of ribbon-Suryo had thought of everything-then left the cabin and headed up to the deck. The helmsman and officer of the watch were back on the quarterdeck. It was too dark to see detail, but she thought the officer was the young chief mate she'd been introduced to when she came on board. He ducked his head respectfully when he saw her. She was about to approach and ask the captain's whereabouts when she spotted a familiar form at the ship's bow. Gavin's hands were braced on the railing, and his fair hair tumbled in the wind as he stared into the darkening sky, standing as still as carved marble.

Wiping suddenly damp palms on her skirt, she made her way forward. A yard from the railing, she hesitated, swamped with vivid, disquieting memories of his physical strength. She'd seen him climb a sheer cliff, battle a dragon, defeat a master of unarmed combat-and trap her with his weight and scent and powerful male body.

Her heart accelerated as irrational fear burned through her. Once it would never have occurred to her to fear a man. As a child, she'd feared nothing. Certainly not the men in her life. She hated being afraid.

Her jaw set. Of all men on earth, Gavin was the last one she should fear. She moved forward to the railing before she could lose her nerve. He stiffened when he became aware of her presence. She half expected him to bolt, but he stayed. Someday, maybe she would find humor in their mutual skittishness, but not tonight.

She lifted her face into the clean, free wind. The rhythmic rise and fall of the bow soothed her jangled nerves and reminded her why she was here.

"I thank you from the bottom of my heart, Gavin. Don't blame yourself for what had to be done. You saved me and yourself. That's not a sin."

"Perhaps not. But it's certainly no virtue." After a long silence, he said, "We can be married in Batavia. There are Christian churches there."

"Marriage?" Her head snapped around and she stared at him, shocked out of her composure. "What are you talking about?"

"Having behaved like husband and wife, we must now make that a reality," he said with bone-dry precision.

She should have realized he'd think this way. He was a gentleman, he had compromised her, and he was doing the honorable thing by offering marriage. Why was she so disquieted by the thought?

Because she didn't want marriage ever again. Because she wasn't fit to be a decent man's wife. Least of all, Gavin's wife.

Burying her feelings for later pondering, she said, "Of all the generous things you've done, this is the most generous, but it isn't necessary. You have sacrificed quite enough for my sake. You certainly don't have to marry a stranger as well."

"We're hardly strangers anymore, Alexandra." His deep voice was cool and emotionless.

"There's no point in being bound for life by something that happened on the opposite side of the world from our homes. You don't want to marry me, I don't want to marry you or anyone, so the subject is closed."

He smiled faintly. "I can see why you were so bad at being submissive." She colored. "Sorry, was I rude? Don't think I'm not appreciative, Gavin. I already owe you more than I can repay in one lifetime. There's no need to make my debt even greater."

"Marrying you wouldn't be a punishment, Alex. I think we could rub along tolerably well. But ..." he hesitated, groping for words, "perhaps there is too much between us to ever be comfortable with each other."

"I'd like to be friends. Is that possible?"

She could feel a lessening of his tension. "I'd like that, too," he said. "It's a long voyage to England. Better to be relaxed than walking on eggshells."

"Agreed then-we shall be friends, and it will be as if the ... the last event of the Lion Game never happened." Forgetting wouldn't be that simple, but agreeing to put the incident behind them was a start.

"If you ever wish to marry again, find a sweet young bride who hasn't been tarnished by life."

"I did that once. I'll not destroy another innocent girl."

"Destroy?" She frowned, sensing he'd said more than he intended. "From everything I've seen and heard, Helena was a cherished and much loved wife. That's hardly destruction." He hesitated before saying haltingly, "Helena's health was always frail. I worried that shipboard life might be too much for her, but she didn't want us to be separated, and neither did 1. If I'd left her safe in Boston maybe she'd be alive today."

Her heart ached for him. Believing he'd cost his beloved wife her life must have created a bottomless well of guilt. No wonder he'd felt compelled to rescue a desperate slave woman. Wanting to assuage that deep grief, she said, "I saw the painting of Helena. You gave her years of happiness. Many women don't have that much in a lifetime."

"We were happy," he agreed, "but her physician in Boston had warned it would be dangerous for her to have a child. If I hadn't..." He stopped abruptly.

Knowing she was on very delicate ground, Alex said, "Didn't Helena want a baby desperately?" He glanced at her, a silhouette against a starry night. "How did you know that? "

"I'm a woman. It's natural to want to have the child of the man you love." Or to have a child even if the marriage was less than loving, but that didn't need to be said. "Helena took her risks willingly. And now-well, she and Anna are together."

"I'd like to believe that," he said in a raw whisper.

"Believe it." Alex had never been surer of anything. "Remember how Achilles was given the choice of a short, glorious life or a long, dull one? He chose glory and died young, but his fame lives on. If Helena was always frail, you gave her a great gift by letting her choose love and adventure. We all die. At least she died where she wanted to be, doing what she wanted to do with the man she loved, and she will always live in your heart. You didn't destroy her, you fulfilled her." Gavin exhaled roughly. "I hadn't thought of this from a woman's point of view." She remembered that ethereal girl with the shimmering smile. Helena had been born to love, and she'd given herself willingly. She'd chosen well, too. Alex wished that Edmund had loved as deeply as Gavin, and been as true to his marriage vows.

She shivered a little, thinking the wind was getting cooler. "Your Scottish vicar grandfather deserves credit for instilling integrity and honesty, but you're not responsible for all the world's ills, Gavin."

"The captain of a ship is responsible for all that happens aboard. It's a hard habit to break, but ... I'll try."

"Remember Helena happy. That was the truth of your marriage." There was a long silence while the ship rose and fell, occasional sprays of water spattering them, until he said quietly, "Thank you, Alexandra. Are you always so wise? " She was glad she'd been able to help, but honesty compelled her to say, "When I think of Katie, I'm not wise at all. Do you think we'll find her? "

"It's hard to say. Kasan said she was sent to the harem of the Rajah of Sukau. If she's still there, we're in luck. Suryo investigated, and the rajah is elderly and well respected." Gavin glanced at her.

"Rajah Fahad is also the father of Kasan's chief wife."

"You mean Katie might have been sent as a gift to Kasan's father-in-law?" Alex said, appalled.

"Probably. It suggests that Kasan is more involved with the pirates than he would admit publicly." She swore under her breath. "The man is a monster. I wish you could have broken his neck."

"He certainly made our lives difficult, but as Oriental despots go, Kasan is relatively enlightened. There are lurid stories of his personal life, some of which are probably true, and his people don't have the rights that Englishmen or Americans do. Still, he doesn't usually slaughter his own people out of hand, and he doesn't tax them into starvation. Maduri is strong and independent and likely to stay that way." She remembered the strange, tense bond between the men. "You admire him."

"Some," Gavin admitted. "But I surely don't want to work for him. He has too much power, and that makes him dangerous. Rather like my idea of a mad English duke."

Alex thought of the English dukes she knew, who were actually a civilized lot, but she was willing to grant Gavin his republican principles. Power could indeed corrupt. "As long as the Rajah of Sukau isn't cruel or mad. How long until we reach Java?

"Three or four days, if the winds hold."

"Then what? How does one approach an Oriental despot and beg for a favor? "

"After we clear Sukau customs, I'll send Suryo to the palace with the fanciest gift on the Helena. I have a French clock that looks as if it were stolen from Versailles. Very impressive, and it should demonstrate we're rich enough to be worthy of the rajah's notice. Suryo will ask for an audience. Then we wait."

"I'm not good at waiting, but I suppose I'll manage." She closed her eyes and prayed. A miracle had brought her out of slavery. Now she needed another.

"His Most Gracious Majesty, the Rajah of Sukau will you now." The chamberlain gestured for Gavin Alex to come with him.

As they followed the chamberlain down a breezy passageway, Gavin studied his companion from the corner of his eye. Recurring seasickness had made her even thinner than on Maduri, and three days of waiting in Sukau harbor had her vibrating with tension. Yet her weight loss emphasized the elegance of her bones, and she glided through the palace with the grace and dignity of a queen. During the passage from Maduri she'd sewed industriously and now wore a European style gown. With her dark hair pinned up, she looked every inch an English lady. Very different from Alex in sarong and gilded chains, which made it easier for him to suppress the carnal thoughts that had haunted him ever since their forced intercourse. Hot, vivid memories shamed him-but he was unable to banish them from his mind or his restless, haunting dreams.

He wrenched his mind away from that, thinking it would be more appropriate to pray they'd find Katie here. Failure would crush Alex. No, nothing could crush Alex. She'd continue her search until she succeeded or died trying. She was worthy of her warrior ancestors. The chamberlain led them through a small chamber with doors on each end. They stepped through the second door into an immense aviary. Gavin caught his breath in amazement. The aviary had been designed as a woodland glade, with a stream running across one corner. Waterfowl splashed happily while brilliantly colored parrots and songbirds squawked and fluttered from tree to tree. The French.gift clock stood on a mahogany pillar, a bird of paradise perched on top, preening its gaudy feathers.

The sight was so dazzling it took him a moment to focus on the elderly turbaned man who sat in a tall, lacquered throne in the center of the room. A canopy protected the chair. From its peak a drab bird sang a hauntingly beautiful song.

Certain the elderly man was Rajah Fahad, Gavin bowed deeply. "Your majesty, we are honored to be admitted to your presence."

The rajah made a dismissive gesture. In his hands he held a small white dove that was almost invisible against his white beard. "You interest me, Captain Elliott," he said in heavily accented but fluent English.

"Your gift was magnificent. What magnificent favor do you want in return?" The rajah's directness was surprising but welcome. "My companion, Mrs. Warren, is an English widow of high birth. While sailing from Sydney to London, her ship was attacked by pirates. She and her daughter were captured, and the child taken away from her."

The rajah turned his gaze to Alex. "The lady was enslaved?" They'd discussed whether or not she should speak for herself. The fact that the rajah was acknowledging her presence gave Alex leave to plead directly. "Yes, Your Majesty. I was freed by the intervention of Captain Elliott, and now I seek my daughter. We were informed that she was sent to you as a gift."

She dropped to her knees and bent to touch her forehead to the marble floor in a Chinese kowtow of absolute submission. Looking up again, she said beseechingly, "Please, Your Majesty, if you can help me find her, you shall have my gratitude forever."

He studied her face, his bony fingers stroking the white feathers of the dove. "There are many children in my women's quarters. What does your daughter look like?"

"Katie is almost nine years old, with long blond hair and blue eyes like mine," Alex replied. "She was taken from me half a year ago."

The rajah gestured for her to stand and beckoned his chamberlain forward. After a low-voiced exchange, the chamberlain left. Languidly Fahad raised the dove, which took flight from his palm. On its breast was a scarlet circle the color of blood. "My sacred doves are said to be very rare. Do you have them in your country, Captain?" "Not that I know of, Your Majesty." Gavin indicated the aviary.

"Nor have I seen a sight to match this. Surely paradise can hold no greater beauty." A small bird landed on his shoulder and pecked on a gold braided epaulet, pausing occasionally to regard Gavin with bright eyes.

Amused, Gavin fell into a discussion of birds and natural history with the rajah. Alex waited quietly, outwardly calm but hands knotted at her sides. A sacred dove approached and pecked at the hem of her gown. She flinched, startling the bird. Gavin worried that she might shatter during this last, excruciating wait. Or perhaps she might explode and shatter Sukau. Hell hath no fury like a frantic mother. Behind them came the sound of an opening door. Gavin glanced back and saw that the chamberlain had returned with a heavily veiled woman and child. Gavin's heart sank when he saw the girl. She was about the right age, but surely that demure, submissive figure couldn't be the daughter of a woman like Alex.