The Backup Boyfriend (The Boyfriend Chronicles) (12 page)

What was with all the labels? Homosexual and heterosexual, great. Bi-curious and bisexual, fine. But then came pansexual, omnisexual, polysexual, and…fluid.
Fluid
. What the heck did that even mean?

Seriously, how had a fairly simple concept become so complex? Only one thing Dylan knew for sure. He wasn’t transgender or transsexual. He liked boobs and appreciated their aesthetic qualities, but he sure as hell didn’t want to wear any.

Unfortunately the single discovery hardly helped. So he’d shut down Alec’s computer and resorted to his life-long motto: fate liked to kick the shit out of people, which meant when you found something that felt good,
go for it
.

Up until that point, everything with Alec had definitely felt great. So Dylan had wisely crawled back into Alec’s bed, anticipating this morning, and in return had experienced the oh-holy-shit-gasm of a lifetime. Yes, returning to Alec’s bed had been a very wise decision.

Except for the part where he’d forgotten to bolt the front door…

With a resigned sigh, Dylan reached the living room and leaned against the doorway. Beyond the leather furniture centered around a glass coffee table, Noah was at the minibar pouring tomato juice into a glass. Noah wore jeans and a form-fitting sweater that hugged his lean frame, and his shoulders looked tense.

“How long have you been here?” Dylan asked.

Noah whirled to face him, blinked, and slowly set his glass on the counter. “Long enough to catch the sound of the final act.”

Dylan remembered how he’d gone nuclear there at the end, picturing his brains leaking out onto the bed. And Noah was staring at Dylan as if he’d lost his mind.

Uh, yeah. About that
…

“What the hell were you thinking, Dylan?”

Dylan’s face burned, and he secured the towel tight around his waist as several sarcastic replies came to mind.

I was tired of playing for the same team.

I suddenly had the urge to experience life as the little spoon.

I wanted to be able to wear the
You Suck, And I Like That In A Man
T-shirt you gave me.

But Dylan knew a flippant answer would only make matters worse. Instead, he simply stared at Noah and waited for him to go on.

“Wait, scratch that.” Noah picked up his tomato juice. “Obviously you
weren’t
thinking.”

“No need to get your silk panties in a wad, man,” Dylan said. “Ease up a little.”

“I do not wear silk panties,” he said. “And,
no
, I will not ease up. You’re taking the substitute-boyfriend gig way beyond what any rational human being would consider reasonable. I might have heard the two of you, but Tyler was too far away to appreciate how loud Alec groaned when you. Fucked. Him!”

That last sentence started out as a statement and ended up an accusation.

Hating that he felt defensive, Dylan crossed his arms. “I didn’t fuck Alec. He fucked me.”

Noah’s face went positively goldfish, bulging eyes, gaping mouth, and all. Apparently not only had he heard the finale, he’d assumed a lot about their position as well.

Noah finally blinked, coming back to life and crossing the thick rug on the way to the couch. “Have you been drinking?”

“No.”

“Taking poppers?”

“
No
.”

“Abducted by queer aliens?”

The bark of laughter almost hurt. “No. I asked him to fuck me.”

Noah’s legs appeared to give way, and he dropped onto the leather couch with enough force to trigger a
swish
of air from the cushion. For the first time since Rick had introduced them oh so many years ago, Noah remained speechless for a full five seconds. Dylan hadn’t thought the man capable. The sight was almost worthy of the mess Dylan now found himself in.

Almost.

“I don’t understand,” Dylan said. “Technically I should be the one freaking out here. But, honestly, I don’t think there’s any reason to make a big deal of the whole thing.” Besides, wigging out now was sorta pointless. Dylan entered the room and sat down, proud of his awesome reasoning skills and his nonchalant tone. “Sleeping with men is normal enough for the two of you.”

“Yes, but we sleep with men who are
gay
,” Noah said.

“That’s not what you’ve told me in the past.”

“Nice try,” Noah said. “But we’re not talking about me right now.”

“Yeah.” Dylan’s lips twisted wryly. “Funny how we never talk about you. Why is that, Noah?”

Noah offered nothing more than a blank stare, which changed when Alec appeared in the doorway. Good, Dylan could use a little help here. Dark hair damp, and in jeans and a T-shirt, Alec took one look at Noah’s now frowning face and grimaced.

“I need coffee,” Alec said and pivoted to head for the kitchen.

“Get back here, girlfriend,” Noah said and Alec slowly turned around, clearly preparing for battle. Noah went on. “We need to set a few things straight.”

After a two second pause, Alec entered the living room. And suddenly Dylan wasn’t up for dealing with Noah anymore, especially with Alec so clean and smelling so good and looking as though he needed Dylan to get him all sweaty again. Dylan let out a sigh.

Jesus, he really was a slut.

~~~***~~~

Alec had learned long ago that humoring Noah made things easier in the long run, so he settled against the wall. Although he wanted to get this confrontation over with, he desperately needed some caffeine. Retreat sounded rather appealing too.

Retreat from Dylan’s hot, knowing gaze. From the confusion twisting Alec’s gut in knots. And nothing good ever came from a Noah that called him
girlfriend
.

“I suggested you start dating again,” Noah said, frowning at Alec. “
Not
jump into bed with a straight man.”

“You sleep with straight men all the time,” Alec said.

A bark of laughter shot from Dylan, and Noah tossed the man a look. Dylan pressed his lips together, clearly struggling to smother the rest of his amusement.

“We’re not talking about me,” Noah said. “We’re talking about you, Alec.”

“This conversation is sounding very familiar,” Dylan murmured.

Noah ignored him. “I’m very aware of Dylan’s tendency to fuck anything that moves.”

“Hey!” Dylan shot up in his seat.

Was his protest due to the accusation being false or because Noah had shared the truth? Alec tried hard to pretend the answer didn’t matter.

“Okay, so you’re not quite the manwhore,” Noah said to Dylan, and Alec’s shoulders eased. “During the week, I practically have to drag you out of that garage of yours. But on the weekend, all bets are off. You’re with a different woman every Friday and Saturday night, Dylan. You can’t even commit to one make of motorcycle, for chrissakes.”

Alec let out a huff, amused by the words, until Noah’s focus shifted again.

“And you…” he said to Alec, and Alec’s muscles tensed for battle. Noah stood and began to pace as he went on. “You are just getting out of a two-year relationship—a relationship you were mourning just weeks ago. And now you’ve gone and hooked up with Dylan?” Noah came to a stop in front of Alec. “Could you get any more idiotic?”

Probably not.

“Give me a minute,” Alec said drily. “I’m sure I’ll think of something.”

Dylan chuckled again, and Noah frowned at him. “This isn’t a laughing matter.”

Clearly struggling to restrain a smile, Dylan rubbed his chin and glanced at Alec, probably hoping for a bit of solidarity while dealing with a seriously worked-up Noah. But Alec was too busy getting lost in the green gaze and remembering the wild look on Dylan’s face as Alec pounded into him from behind.

He
still
couldn’t wrap his mind around the sight.

Several seconds ticked by, and Dylan’s eyes grew dark, dropping to Alec’s body. The drag of his gaze was like a physical touch, stealing Alec’s breath. And, for one insane moment, he thought Dylan was going to cross the room and haul Alec back to the bedroom.

Christ, he was still worn out and buzzed from this morning. Noah was right. Dylan’s libido clearly operated at full throttle.

Alec was trying to decide if that was a good thing—or bad—when Noah stepped into his line of vision, blocking Alec’s gaze.

“Stop the eye fucking, you two.” Noah turned to face Dylan. “Dylan, are you bisexual?”

The words knocked the breath from Alec, and Dylan looked thrown by the question.

His answer was slow in coming. “No.”

Noah planted a hand on his hip. “Are you interested in a relationship?”

This time there was no pause on Dylan’s part.

“Hell, no,” Dylan barked.

Alec’s chest grew tight, and Noah shot him a see-what-I-mean? look before turning back to Dylan. “Why don’t you go make coffee while I chat with Alec?”

“Gladly,” Dylan said.

Alec relaxed a fraction, feeling relieved. Knowing Noah, Alec didn’t want Dylan to hear what came next. Once Dylan was gone and the sound of puttering drifted in from the kitchen, Noah addressed Alec.

“I know you, Alec.” Noah took a step closer. “You think because you managed to wring all those noises from Dylan’s mouth that, somehow, he’s in to you.” Noah’s expression had morphed from ticked off to concerned.

Alec bit back the groan, preferring a wrathful Noah over the sympathetic one. And Alec certainly didn’t want to touch on the fact that his friend was right. After this morning’s round in bed, Alec had begun to imagine a future that included dating Dylan.

You knew this would happen
.

Using both hands, Alec raked his hair from his face. “I really don’t want to talk about this right now.”

“Too bad.” He steadily met Alec’s gaze. “You know as well as anyone that a good proportion of men’s orgasms—whether they’re gay, straight, or chock-full of angles—are brought about by their right hand.”

When had this discussion turned to masturbation?

Noah stuck up his palm as if displaying Exhibit A in his case against Alec. “I don’t know about you, but I regularly get off to something that I have absolutely
no
attraction to.”

Alec almost winced at the words. Christ, no mystery where this topic was headed.

Noah went on. “Essentially we’re all just a bunch of walking hard-ons in search of the big O. And Dylan is no different. Dating is one thing, but you do not need to be jumping into bed with anyone just yet, much less Dylan. Not when you’re already carrying around enough baggage to rack up a five-hundred-dollar charge on Delta Airlines.”

Baggage
? Alec opened his mouth to protest.

“No, seriously, Alec.” Noah’s face was grim. “You’re a mess. Not to mention a hopeless romantic. Before you shacked up with Tyler—a move I was against from the start, if you remember—you fell in love with every one-night-stand who managed to convince you to sleep with him.”

Having his past thrown at him so aggressively had Alec raising his hands in surrender. Having said past illustrate the very point Alec had tried to make to himself before sleeping with Dylan was painful. “Okay, okay. I get what you’re saying, all right?”

Alec knew he’d screwed up big time. He didn’t need his friend to beat him about the head with the idea.

Noah apparently didn’t care. “And I know Dylan even better than I know you. He’ll seek out the pleasurable activity without a second thought. And you, my friend, are incapable of fucking a guy for fun and keeping your heart out of the way.”

Alec struggled with the need to close his eyes, refusing to share that his heart might already be involved.

Prolonging the end will only make this worse
.

Alec dropped his hands to his sides. “Fine,” he said before turning and heading off.

“Where are you going?” Noah asked.

“To the kitchen.”

“What for?”

Alec kept walking, his feet feeling a hundred pounds each. “To tell Dylan goodbye.”

~~~***~~~

As the stainless steel coffee machine sputtered out the last drops into the carafe, Dylan scanned the room containing white tile, mahogany wood, and enough gadgets to supply a kitchen store. Dylan knew the dude liked to cook, but
seriously
. Somewhere in this well-stocked kitchen there had to be coffee cups. After several tries, Dylan managed to find the right cabinet and filled a mug. He propped his hip against the counter and sipped the black brew, enjoying the scent and the much-needed shot of caffeine.

He was just wondering if Noah was done raking Alec over the coals—and whether it was safe to return to the living room—when Alec entered the kitchen, his bare feet silent against the floor.

Noah’s presence had allowed for zero time to discuss the happenings in Alec’s bedroom, and the low-grade tension now made Dylan uneasy. Without a word, he reached into the cabinet with the mugs and filled a second cup, passing the coffee to Alec.

“Thanks,” Alec said, adding cream from the refrigerator.

The man seemed to be having trouble meeting his eyes.

Damn, this wasn’t what Dylan wanted.

“I didn’t mean to—” Dylan began, just as Alec said, “I shouldn’t have—”

They both fell silent, and Dylan raised his coffee in Alec’s direction. “You first.”

“Noah’s right. Last night was a mistake.”

Annoyance started its engines low in Dylan’s gut. He wasn’t sure why Alec’s statement ticked him off so much. Yes, he’d had the same thought. Yes, he was now feeling more awkward and antsy than a prostitute at Sunday mass. And, okay, so they were just now starting to sort through the consequences of their actions. But, damn it…

Dylan refused to regret his choices.

“I think we should take a breather,” Alec said.

Dylan frowned in confusion. A
breather
?

“I mean…” Alec rubbed his eyes. “I think we shouldn’t see each other for a while.”

Dylan set his mug on the counter with a
clunk
. “Why not?”

Holy Christ on a stick, now he sounded like a clingy woman.

“Come on, Dylan. Things are weird enough. I don’t think continuing with the one-on-one motorcycle lessons is a wise move.”

Dylan massaged his forehead, ignoring the headache blooming in the background. “Why don’t we just chalk the whole thing up to some Guys Gone Wild thing and pretend the night never happened?”