The Back-Up Plan (8 page)

“Is this about that doctor? What’s his name? Matthew?”

Kristen shook her head, then changed her mind. “Not exactly, but maybe. Sort of.”

Zoey grinned. “Wow. That’s enlightening. Kind of hard to believe your strength in the courtroom is your eloquence.”

“Matthew and I have been going out a lot the past few weeks.”

“I’ve noticed. Seems like his car is in the parking lot pretty much every evening, though I haven’t seen it here in the morning yet.”

“No sex.”

Zoey shook her head, pretending to be disappointed. “Josie won’t be happy to hear that.”

Kristen rolled her eyes. “Josie will have to deal. I’m not rushing things.”

“I don’t blame you there. But I will say Matthew’s incredibly handsome. That mustache reminds me of someone famous, but I can’t remember who. Makes my girl parts hot.”

“Down girl. You’ve already got Rob. You can’t have my doctor too.”

“Ah, so he’s
your
doctor, is he?”

Kristen bit her lower lip nervously as she tried to decide what Matthew was to her. And what she wanted him to be. If she’d met him a year ago, she would have been doing cartwheels in her yard, screaming to the world she’d met the one. Now she wasn’t sure what she was feeling, but it definitely wasn’t excitement.

“Earth to Kristen.” Zoey waved a hand in front of her face. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Jason kissed me today.”

Zoey’s eyes widened. “No way. Like a real kiss?”

Kristen nodded her head slowly, wondering if there was a stronger word than kiss because in her mind that didn’t come close to covering what she and Jason had indulged in. It had been almost primal, a claiming, the most powerful hunger she’d ever experienced.

Zoey sighed. “You’re blushing. And you’ve disappeared again. Must have been one hell of a kiss.”

“You have no idea.”

“So what does that mean?”

Kristen waved her hands around, letting her agitation escape. “I have no clue. It fucking came out of nowhere, caught me off-guard. I wasn’t prepared.”

“Prepared for the kiss or prepared to like it so much?”

“Both. But mainly the second. God. He’s a womanizer, a pervert, a sex maniac. He says he wants a commitment, but deep down inside, I’m not sure if he’s capable of that. Hell, I’m not even sure if I am and I’m way more emotionally stable than he is.”

“Yeah. I can see that.” Zoey grinned as sarcasm dripped from her jest.

“Bite me, Zoey.”

“No thanks. Something tells me I’d have to get in line after Matthew and Jason for that privilege.”

“What am I supposed to do?”

Zoey shrugged. “I can’t tell you that. Besides, do you have to make a decision right this second? You’ve only been seeing Matthew a little more than a month. Can’t you hang in there until you sort out your emotions?”

“Actually I told Jason nothing could happen between us. It would be reckless and stupid. We’re partners. If we had sex and things fell apart, I wouldn’t just be risking some personal anguish. I’d lose my livelihood.”

“Then I’m confused. Why are you worried about what to do next? You’ve already solved your problem and chosen Matthew.”

Kristen didn’t respond. The lie wouldn’t come.

“Ah,” Zoey said, her face proving that she understood all too well. “Your brain chose. Your heart hasn’t.”

Kristen scoffed as she stood up. “Bah. Heart. You girls and your talk of love. I told you, that’s not part of this. It’s not my heart that wants Jason. It’s my body. Lately if he stands too close, it’s like this electrical current starts flowing between us. Next thing I know, I’m imagining the two of us in some pretty far out, kinky situations. I am so horny, it hurts.”

“Wow. That sounds so freaking hot. Something tells me Robbie’s getting lucky tonight. Maybe I should call and see how soon he can get home.”

Kristen lobbed a throw pillow at her friend’s head. “Bitch.”

Zoey caught the pillow and held it on her lap. “If you like Matthew well enough to keep dating him, maybe you should start adding a bit of the hot and heavy to that relationship. I mean if he’s the right guy for you, let him scratch your itch. That way it’ll take the edge off whenever you’re around Jason.”

It wasn’t bad advice, but Kristen wasn’t sure how to explain to her friend that she felt zero sexual attraction to Matthew. When she’d thought about what she wanted in a marriage, it was companionship, someone with compatible likes. Matthew was that man. They could talk for hours, they had the same interests, enjoyed the same restaurants and movies. He already owned a condo in Florida, for God’s sake.

But there was no passion, no spark. She’d told her friends that didn’t matter, but now she wasn’t so sure that was the case.

“I don’t want to rush things with Matthew just because of some silly attraction to Jason that will most likely disappear soon.”

“Then we’re back to what I said at first. Take some time. Stay away from Jason if you think it will help. Focus on building something with Matthew.”

Kristen knew it was sound advice. Unfortunately, it sounded like a dreadful, boring way to live. She’d had decades of uneventful. Suddenly life was exciting. She had something to look forward to when she woke up.

Zoey studied her face and frowned. “Forget what I just said.”

“What?”

“Kristen, you need to let go. Stop trying to control everything to make your life fit in neat, tidy boxes. If I’ve learned anything in the last few months, it’s that life is too damn short. And for the most part, we silly, weak humans waste the majority of it worrying about things that don’t matter. So do this. Figure out what will make you happy. And by happy, I don’t mean what makes sense or what’s convenient. Look around at the things that bring you joy, that make you laugh. Throw your energy into that instead of overthinking all this bullshit. Okay?”

Kristen nodded. She was right. Zoey had known exactly what to say. “You realize, at this rate, I’m probably doomed to live my entire life alone with only my vibrators for company.”

Zoey laughed. “Vibrators? Plural? How many do you own?”

Kristen shrugged. “Five. I like to keep things fresh.”

Zoey’s eyes widened. “Jesus. And you accuse Josie of having the hormonal issues.”

They laughed, hanging out until Rob came home. Then Kristen drifted back to her own place, chewing over what Zoey had said.

Happiness. Joy. Laughter.

The words evoked a face. Just one.

And sadly, it was the wrong one.

Chapter Five

In Florida, sexual relations with a porcupine are illegal.

Kristen clicked through her email, intent on answering the most pressing stuff then heading home. A glance at the clock revealed it was nearly eight. Even though they had hired two new interns, some nights she found it difficult to break old habits. Especially when all that awaited her was an empty house.

Two weeks had passed since Jason’s kiss. Every day since then she’d relived it over and over until she feared she’d go mad.

Despite Zoey’s advice that she figure out what would make her happy, Kristen decided it was easier to bury her head in the sand instead. So for fourteen long days, she’d thrown herself into her work, avoiding Jason as much as possible. Fortunately, that had been made easy due to the fact they were both working big cases. She’d spent most of last week in the courtroom, while he’d been out of the office the past three days dealing with jury selection for a civil trial looming on his horizon.

At night, she went out to dinner with Matthew or hung out with the wine girls. They’d had a few brief bursts of beautiful sunshine, so she and her friends had taken advantage of it—grilling out together or sitting in the common grassy area behind their townhouses, soaking up rays.

Then she’d lie in bed and wait for Jason’s nightly phone call. Mercifully, he hadn’t continued to press his suit, accepting her assertion that they keep things professional, platonic.

Damn him.

She’d started living for ten o’clock when the phone would ring. They usually didn’t do much more than recap their days or watch repeats of
The Office
together, laughing at the silly lines. While the subject matter was run-of-the-mill, the hour before bed had become Kristen’s favorite time of the day. Then they’d say goodbye and she’d fire up one of her toys. She’d given up pretending that it wasn’t Jason starring in all her masturbation fantasies, and instead embraced the idea. Sometimes she could even pretend the lackluster orgasms she granted herself were enough to cool the flames raging between her and Jason.

Almost.

“No plans tonight?”

Kristen looked up to find Jason leaning against the doorframe of her office.

She shook her head. “Nope. Matthew’s working the nightshift at his practice’s after-hours clinic, so I thought I’d catch up on some paperwork.”

“Leave it for the interns. We’re going out for my birthday.”

She’d given Jason a gift this morning, then taken him out for lunch. “I figured you’d have a big bar crawl planned for you and Nick or a hot date with Monica.”

“Nope. I’d actually intended to grab some takeout and eat while watching the Nationals game, but since you’re not busy with Matthew, I have something else in mind. I’d rather celebrate with you.”

“I hate baseball.”

He chuckled. “We’re not watching the game.”

“Are you sure you wouldn’t rather call someone else to hang out with? Maybe someone fun?”

Jason laughed. “Oh for God’s sake, you’re not that boring. Most of the time.”

She shot him a dirty look.

“Come on, Kris. I want to show you how forty is done, so you’ll be ready come July.”

She closed down her laptop, grabbed her purse, then accepted his outstretched hand. “I think I’m nervous. Should I stop by the ATM for bail money first?”

“Damn. What have I told you about being spontaneous? Getting arrested isn’t half as much fun if you’re prepared for it. Better to play it by ear. Besides I know a good attorney you can call who’d be more than happy to get you off…er…out, I mean.”

It was the first sexual innuendo he’d tossed her way in weeks. And it proved her vibrators really weren’t cutting it. Her nipples tightened, her stomach clenched and her pussy tingled. Maybe agreeing to go out with him wasn’t such a great idea.

But how could she say no? It was his birthday. And he wanted to spend it with her. She was touched. More than she should be.

When they hit the parking lot, he unlocked his Audi. “Ride with me. We can come pick your car up after. Or if you want to have a few drinks, I’ll drive you home and then swing by to get you for work tomorrow morning.”

“You sure you don’t want me to drive? It’s your birthday. I can be the DD.”

“Nope. Something tells me you’re the one who’s going to need a few drinks once you see where we’re going.”

She groaned as she claimed the passenger seat. “If you try to drag me into a strip club, I swear I’ll—”

“Damn. Strip club. Why didn’t I think of that?” Jason laughed. “Write that down somewhere so we don’t forget. We can do that on your birthday.”

“That’s okay. So are you going to tell me where we’re headed?”

“Shotsky’s.”

“The redneck dive?” Kristen recalled Georgie telling her about the place back in January when they were debating where to go for their girls’ night out. “I’m not that much of a prude. I don’t mind bikers and pool tables and country music. I think it might be fun.”

“Remember you said that.”

When they arrived at the bar, Kristen knew she’d been tricked. A huge lighted sign out front declared it karaoke night.

“Oh my God. Seriously?”

He grinned, then turned to look at her, shaking his head as his gaze raked her from head to toe. It was then she realized he’d changed out of his suit into a pair of jeans and a soft cotton navy-blue T-shirt. “When did you change clothes?”

He appeared surprised by her question. “Back at the office. When did you lose your powers of observation? Usually you notice if I change ties midday. Or if I’ve rearranged the stuff on the top of my desk.”

She’d been so focused on the way her body reacted whenever he got close to her, she’d failed to notice.

“Well, it doesn’t matter. We need to cheapen you up a bit.” Jason reached across the console in the middle of his car and pulled out her hair tie.

“Hey.” She tried to push his hands away, but he forged on, drawing his fingers through her tresses, combing it out. Then he rubbed his hands along her scalp rapidly, fluffing it up.

God only knew what effect he was going for, but she suspected tramp was top of the list.

“You’re messing it up.”

He shook his head. “No I’m not. I’m giving you that just-rolled-out-of-bed look. I love your hair when it’s down like this.”

She bit her lip, applying pressure in hopes the small slice of pain would help her control her libido. It was too early in the night for her to feel this damn hot and needy.