The Awesome Girl's Guide to Dating Extraordinary Men (53 page)

Miss Missy not laughing be something awful.

And we all be trying not to be scared of a woman’s not laughing, but we be scared. We got crows flying around our hearts. And we don’t know what we go’on to do if she start crying next. It might break us. Break us even though we ain’t thought we be capable of breaking any more than we already done broke cuz we be slaves. But that be before Miss Missy stop laughing.

And how Saul be taking this, you ask? That boy done start drinking a week after he hear Miss Missy stop laughing. He show up at the moonshiner’s door with some boot polish to barter, asking for two jugs. Then the week after that, he be bringing the moonshiner a wooden comb that used to belonged to his mama. His fieldwork be suffering. The overseer hit him with a lash a few times, tell him he be needing to move faster. Saul pick a little faster, and he be back at the moonshiner’s door by the weekend, this time with a scarf that Miss Missy done made for him last winter.

Last winter was when they still be happy.

It be the last thing of worth he got to barter. And them two jugs of moonshine going to have to do him.

It come down from the house that Miss Missy ain’t fully there no more. She move through the days like a ghost now. They say that when she ain’t moving, she be standing still like a small animal, like maybe that will keep Young Massa from seeing her.

This make us angry at Martha. If she been took our advice and done broke that girl like we said she ought when she was a young laughing thing, we wouldn’t have to see this. We wouldn’t have to care. Some us begin to hate Martha, think about not talking to her, like Massa’s wife stop talking to him sometime because he say the wrong thing in front of guests or stay too long with Geenie, the latest slave girl he done took into his bed.

But we ain’t the Massa’s wife, and we fo sho ain’t white, so we go’on about our business. Waiting, waiting …

The second to last jug of moonshine get set outside Saul door.

And one of them times at supper, Martha done surprise us by talking about it. “It like that David story,” she say. “The one where he want that soldier’s wife, so he send the soldier to war, so he can get him he wife. And the soldier die, and he get the woman. What her name be?”

“Bathsheba,” somebody else say.

And Martha shake her head yes. “I should been named her Bathsheba.”

Bathsheba a beautiful name. We all imagine Miss Missy in the Big House, cleaning them floors all day and bringing the Young Massa his whiskey at night, and we rename her. Bathsheba.

Some days later, Saul done finish that last jug of moonshine. Nobody surprised when he start screaming Miss Missy’s name after drinking the last drop. “Miss Missy,” he be yelling in the night. “Miss Missy!”

The sound send a evil spirit down all our backs. Later we say this why it took us so long to realize his screaming be getting softer, even though his emotion be getting louder. Else we would have stopped him from going to the Big House. We would have been about covering his mouth with our hands and pulling him back into his shack, and we would’ve sat on him until he pass out from the shine.

But we don’t be realizing where he going. And by the time all of us field slaves get out our beds, cover ourselves and catch up with him, he be yelling outside the Big House.

And both Young and Old Massas be out on the porch. With shotguns.

Miss Missy standing in the door behind the Massas, curled against the frame like the house be the only thing holding her up. There be light brown faces peeping out all the downstairs windows, and if you look up, you can see Massa’s wife in one of them top windows. Only reason I see her is cuz I be praying to Lord God to make what be happening stop.

But most us don’t look up. Most us keep our eyes on the Massas. And they guns.

“Get back to your quarters, nigger,” Young Massa say to Saul in that strange northern accent of his.

Saul hold out his hand to Miss Missy. “You my woman. You come with me now.”

Miss Missy don’t move. She and a statue be twin sisters.

“You come here now,” he say, waving the empty moonshine jug. “You my woman.”

“Say one more word to her, and I will shoot you,” Young Massa say. “She is mine.”

“You come with me. You go where I go.” Saul screaming now. “You MY WOMAN—”

The gunshot ring out in the night and Saul fall to the ground. His whole chest be gone. His whole life be gone, right before our eyes.

You ain’t never heard night so quiet. We all be standing there, trying to take our eyes off Saul. But we cain’t. Even the Massas be staring at him there. Now we all be the statues, and only Miss Missy be moving. She run down the porch stairs.

“Get back here,” the Young Massa say, sounding like he be fixing to shoot her, too.

But Miss Missy don’t stop until she get to her man. She drop to her knees and gather what be left of him in her arms. The ivory night dress that Young Massa done bought her get covered in Saul’s blood and guts.

We wait for the tears, thinking that however bad we thought it would be, the tears going to be worse. But she don’t cry. She laugh and laugh and laugh.

Then she say, “Oh, Saul, I am your woman. We can be together now. You done good, Saul. You done good.”

And this is the part people don’t believe when us slaves tell them what all happened, no matter how many us say it, they don’t be believing us. But I’m telling you now that it happened. Happened just like we said, like us all said it did for the rest of our lifes.

Miss Missy be laughing, and then … the back of her nightdress be ripping, and out of her back come the largest pair of wings you done ever seen. They ain’t white like they be in the paintings, they be gray and they be two times as long as she be tall.

And they be flapping. She beat them once, twice, and by five times, she be in the sky, hovering over us with dead Saul lying like a baby in her arms, and she be looking down at all us black faces in the moonlight. She still be laughing. And then …

 … she look up to the sky and she fly up into it, taking her and Saul on home.

We stare up at the heavens long after we cain’t see her anymore.

The Massas refuse to hear us talk a word of it after it all be done. Young Massa take a wife after that, and maybe become the first slave owner to not take a slave mistress, too. He get a reputation across the state for being a man of God, pious, and only us slaves be knowing it because of that night when he be finding out that he done raped an angel.

As for the rest us slaves, we spread the word. If you have a baby that laugh when she shouldn’t and can’t help but find the joy, even when her life be real serious, watch that one closely.

Miss Missy cain’t be the only angel walking among us.