The Awakening: A Sisterhood of Spirits Novel (21 page)

“You are so damn soft,” Jordan whispered against her skin. “So beautiful. So mine.”

The words shot to Sunny’s center. The need to have Jordan possess and be inside her was a fierce one. Sunny almost felt she might faint from it. She stood on the razor’s edge of fear and excitement and reveled in it.

Jordan moaned and Sunny’s back arched in response. She couldn’t get close enough to her. Sunny’s lust was red in her mind, wrapping her in ribbons of purple energy that popped along her nerve endings, electrifying her skin.

A tiny voice inside her cried out. What if she lost herself this time and couldn’t come back?

The sensation of Jordan ripping her panties and smoothly entering her left her with no doubts, no inhibitions, and no reservations. Sunny gave herself to the sensation, bucking against Jordan’s long fingers, drawing them deeper and harder into herself. She had no words, just sighs and cries of pleasure.

Jordan growled low in her throat and it set Sunny on fire. She twisted and arched through her orgasm until her body shuddered with the effort and Sunny had to remind herself how to breathe. She felt raw and new at the same time.

The feeling was so intense, she almost couldn’t contain it. Sunny felt tears slip from her eyes, and she shuddered. The only sound in the room was their own heavy breathing.

Jordan came out of it first. What had she been thinking? She vaguely recalled the overwhelming need to fuck her, to mark her as belonging to her. To punish her for finding her in Shade’s lap. She was mortified at what she’d done, and even more so at how much she liked it.

Sunny’s shirt was under her arms, her bra pulled down to show red teeth marks where Jordan had nipped at tender skin. Her skirt crumpled at her waist, her little white panties shoved to the side, baring her pink, swollen flesh. Purple bruises were beginning to form on her white thighs. Jordan covered her face with her hands, hiding her shame.

“Don’t you dare apologize again.”

“What?” Jordan looked up, waiting for something scathing, something hard and hurtful.

“I see what you’re doing to yourself.” Sunny fixed her clothes and sat cross-legged in front of her.

Jordan wondered if confusion was just a part of being around Sunny. She obviously had no control when she was near. She covered her face again, unable to face Sunny’s sweet nature in the face of her own demented behavior.

Sunny tugged on her hands, forcing Jordan to drop them from her face. “I have never had an experience like this.”

“Of course not! You should be in a canopied bed with rose petals scattered around your precious body, not attacked and taken like an animal on the couch.” Where had those words come from? The flowers and four-poster bed image?
I have finally lost my fucking mind.

Sunny glanced over Jordan’s shoulder at the front door. “Shade’s in the hallway. I have to talk with her. Then, if all is well at your place, we’ll finish this.”

Finish it?
Jordan’s head raced with possible scenarios, visions of spells, hexes, or worse, Sunny never letting her near her again. She rose to her feet and guiltily helped Sunny stand. She didn’t understand why she’d had the uncontrollable urge to take her like she did, but even if Sunny hated her for it, Jordan felt the need to stand behind Sunny at the door and give Shade a very clear signal as to whom she belonged.

The rage came rolling back up her spine the second she saw Shade, who returned her glare unflinchingly. Jordan knew Shade wasn’t scared of her, and the fierce, unspoken challenge in Shade’s eyes thrilled her in a primal place.

Shade looked away and focused on Sunny. When her features softened, Jordan wanted to punch her. She felt an invisible hand grab her by the back of the neck and squeeze. Incredibly, at the spectral contact, Jordan’s temper began to cool. When she got hold of her emotions and felt calmer, the hand released her.

Now, that was spooky.
Jordan forced herself to concentrate on what they were saying. Spooky or not, she was glad she no longer felt like throttling Shade.

“So it’s all clear now?” Sunny asked.

“For the most part.”

“What the fuck does that mean, exactly?” Jordan’s voice was as cold as she could manage.

Sunny’s back went stiff.
Uh-oh.
Jordan hadn’t meant to piss Sunny off with her remark. She’d thrown it at Shade without thinking about the fact that Sunny would take it personally too.

“You’d do better to be thanking Shade right now.”

“For what?”

“Never mind. I’m going to walk her to the van.”

“Are you coming back?” Jordan hoped the desperation in her gut didn’t come through in her voice.

“Yes. Wait here.”

Jordan stood at the top of the landing, straining to hear what they were saying, but couldn’t make anything out. She ran to Steve’s living room, cleaned up the spilled water, and picked up Sunny’s purse.

Jordan held it to her chest, giving herself hope. She would come back for that at least.

What could she do to fix the chaos her behavior caused? Where had this quicksand come from that she constantly found herself stuck in? Nothing was familiar; she was insecure and lost in an alternate world where she knew nothing of the native customs.

She locked Steve’s door, entered her apartment, and set Sunny’s purse down before grabbing the broom to sweep up the broken glass. The windows were open, allowing a small breeze to feather in, and just under it, Jordan smelled smoke. It must be part of Shade’s witch ritual.

What’s taking her so long?
Jordan went into her bedroom to look out over the parking lot. From her high vantage point, she saw the van and Sunny still talking with Shade through the driver’s side window. She laid her forehead against the cool glass. Sunny’s hair was a mass of tangles, reminding Jordan how she’d just treated her as if she were a twenty-dollar whore. There was no seduction involved, no candlelight and dinner, no soft words or gentle kisses.

How could she expect Sunny to want her after treating her like that? Jordan began to wonder if she were capable of love. Maybe her mother’s lack of it and her indifference had poisoned her ability to hold on to something pure and good.

Jordan realized that she would eventually bring Sunny down to her level. She would have to let her go before something worse happened and she tainted her somehow.

The thought made the hollow ache in her soul grow.

Sunny turned away from the van and faced the building, her gaze unerringly finding Jordan’s. God help her, she didn’t want to let her go.

When Jordan heard the front door open, she stepped away from the window and into the hall.

“Where’s my purse?”

“Are you leaving?”

“Do you want me to?”

“No.”

“Then I’m going to get cleaned up,” Sunny said. “You know.”

“Okay. Yeah, good. Right.” Jordan returned to the bedroom and sat on the bed. She couldn’t understand why Sunny didn’t cut and run when she had the chance.

“I don’t know what came over me over there. I have never done anything remotely like that,” Sunny said. “I got caught up in a vortex of the energy around you. But I’m not ashamed of it.”

Jordan looked up when she heard her voice from the door. “Why did you come back?”

“Because I see you.”

“I see you too. You’re standing right in front of me. But I don’t see how that’s an answer.”

“I’ll be honest with you, Jordan. I’m not sure why, but there’s something about you that I want very much. However, I’m going to make something very clear. I will not tolerate the nasty remarks and attitudes toward my friends. I want to explore this”—she gestured to Jordan then herself—“whatever it is. But hear this—it will never be at the expense of the people that I love.”

“Was Shade your lover?”

“Yes. A very long time ago, and I’m only going to explain this once. I’ve known Shade since I was eleven years old. She’s my family, my best friend. She’s loyal, kind, and brave. She doesn’t deserve your attitude, and I mean that. There is no competition between the two of you but what’s in your head. Shade loves me and wants the best for me, and you haven’t exactly shown yourself to be that yet.”

“I repeat, then why are you here?”

Sunny sat next to her. “Haven’t you ever been friends with any of your exes?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because the last woman I thought I loved shot me and left me in an alley to die.”

“Oh.”

Jordan could see that her words took Sunny by surprise.

“Tell me. No, wait. Come here first.” Sunny scooted to the headboard and leaned against it. When Jordan was next to her, she held her hand. “Okay, now.”

“The department psychiatrist they made me see didn’t hold my hand.”

Sunny laughed. “Was that a joke? Did I just hear you make a joke?”

Jordan smiled. “I love your laugh.”

“Laughter heals. Now tell me a story, Jordan.”

“Where do you want me to start?” Jordan was nervous and hesitant. Surely, if Sunny knew her life story she would run.
Isn’t that what’s best?
That would make this easier. Jordan didn’t want to be the one to hurt her. It would be better if Sunny walked away from her. Jordan was used to that.

“We’ll start with the shooting first, since that’s the bomb you just dropped.”

“I was working in downtown Seattle when three runaways came up missing. Kids I had gotten to know. No one seemed to care that they were gone without a trace.”

“But you did,” Sunny said.

“I identified with them for a lot of reasons that I don’t want to go into at the moment.”

“Okay, we don’t have to go there right now.”

Or ever.
“So I started to go down to the streets on my own time. The department noticed. More specifically, Detective Lynn Cody noticed. Anyway, she asked me to back off the search and said that my questions were hindering a current undercover operation. I couldn’t see how doing my job would hurt hers, but she was a superior officer and I agreed even though I knew I would continue looking for them.”

Jordan paused. This was where it hurt to remember. Hindsight always provided a clearer picture, and she felt stupid for the way she’d been manipulated so easily.

“Did you find them?”

Jordan shook her head. “No. Lynn asked me out. I was so distracted by the way she treated me that all my free time from then on was wrapped around her.”

“How did she treat you, Jordan?”

“Like I was special and worth something.”

“Because you are.”

Jordan ignored the remark. It had all been a lie. “She insisted on keeping our relationship a secret. I was naïve enough to believe it was because she wasn’t out as a lesbian. For the next few months, I thought I was in love with her. I did everything I thought she wanted and considered myself lucky that I’d found somebody to care about. Then one night, I got a text from a confidential informant that there was a major drug deal going down. I called Lynn and asked if she knew about it. She said she didn’t and that she would meet me at the location with backup.

“I didn’t think twice about going into that alley. I found a place that I could see from and hunkered down to wait for the players to show up. I remember thinking how good the other cops were because I didn’t see or sense any of them around me. Thirty minutes after I got there, I noticed a man at the front of the alley. He looked both ways before he slid into the shadows and started toward where I was hiding. He sat on his large duffel bag next to several garbage cans, but didn’t notice me watching him from three feet away. He was a creepy little man and he kept laughing and muttering to himself.”

Jordan caressed Sunny’s hair, enjoying the softness under her hand as the ugly memory tore at her. “Another fifteen, twenty minutes passed and my legs were cramping, but I didn’t dare move and draw attention to myself. I held still until two figures approached from the street. I heard one of them order the man to bring it out. The voice was female, and I recall thinking it sounded familiar, but I couldn’t place it. I drew my weapon and waited until the man brought them the duffel and reached for the smaller case they put in front of him. I assumed it was the money. I didn’t have time to think, and I had absolute faith that I had backup, so I stood up and yelled for them to freeze. Creepy man spun around and drew his weapon and fired. I shot back and hit him and he fell. My ears were still ringing when I felt cold steel press into my cheek.” Jordan would never forget that moment. She could still feel the muzzle against her skin. “Lynn ordered me to give up my weapon, and I was so shocked I couldn’t move. Then she told me I should have minded my own business and stayed out of the way.”

“How horrible!” Sunny said. “What did you do?”

“Instinct had me fighting, but I was still trying to comprehend that the woman I’d kissed just that morning was trying to kill me. During the struggle, I slammed into a garbage can and she pulled the trigger as I was falling.”

“You poor thing.”

“She left me there next to the dead drug dealer. I suppose she thought I would bleed to death.”

“But you didn’t.”

“No, I didn’t. I lost consciousness, and when I woke up, I was in the hospital.”

“Wait a minute. I think I remember something about this,” Sunny said.

“I thought you didn’t watch the news.”

“I just recall seeing part of a press conference about internal investigation and a trial. This was about two years ago?”

Jordan nodded. “A little less.”

“Who found you?”

“One of the detectives in her division had gone to IA when he found out they were taking money and bribes. Lynn and two of her officers had been under surveillance for months. He was on the late shift that night and overheard them talking about the shooting.” Jordan was certain that if IA hadn’t been following the case, she would have been dead, completely tied up in a neat box with a bright ribbon and labeled fall guy.

“Where were you hit?”

“In the hip.”

Sunny’s eyes were wet.

“Don’t feel sorry for me,” Jordan said. “Please. I don’t need your pity.”

“I would choose the word ‘compassion’ instead.”