The Awakening (6 page)

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Authors: Stuart Meczes

BOOK: The Awakening
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“Think you’re it now do you Eden, getting birds to stick up for you?” His eyes were wide with anger. “You better watch your back mate, because I’m coming for you.” He released his grip and shoved me as he stomped away. I collided with the desk, whacking my ribs against the edge. Groaning, I rubbed my side. At that moment Miss Steele turned around from the board. She frowned at my pained expression. “Are you okay Alexander? You look hurt.”

“Uh I’m fine thanks. I fell against the table. I’m a bit accident prone.”
Miss Steele set the cloth down on the desk.
“You know you can talk to me if you need to. That’s what I’m here for.”

Something about the way she asked seemed genuine. If I’d been in my normal low state of mind, I may even have told her. But knowing I was going to spend some time with Gabriella had lifted my spirits. Not even TJ’s threat could do much to bring them down. “Really, I’m fine,” I assured her, heading for the door.

“Alright then, please close the door behind you.” She shot me a dazzling smile then busied herself with the collection of papers on her desk. As I pulled the door shut behind me, she muttered something under her breath. It sounded like ‘not long now.’ I shrugged and headed for Maths.

When lunch time rolled around, I eagerly made my way to the main entrance. As promised, Gabriella sat waiting for me on the front steps.

Problem was she wasn't alone.

There were a hive of people hovering around her.
Most of them guys,
I noticed, with another stab of alarming jealousy. Also it irritated me to see the gossip witches Lucy and Rita in the group. It seemed that in just over a day, Gabriella had managed to climb the social ladder higher than I had done in my entire school life.

My bag swung around my legs as I stood frozen in the doorway, unsure of what to do. By now there was no doubt Gabriella would’ve been told how uncool I was. Which meant this could be some kind of trick. Maybe if I went over, she would humiliate me in front of everyone, which would cement her social status - maybe that’d been the plan all along. I just didn't know if I could take a confidence knock like that -
not from her
. After weighing my options, I decided that the best course of action was to simply walk past the group and pretend that I hadn't seen her.

I got three quarters of the way down, before a familiar angelic voice floated over to me. “Alexander, there you are!”

My stomach knotted at the words. I turned to the direction of the group and saw Gabriella looking at me, wearing that delicate smile and waving with excitement. The others regarded me in silence.

No choice now.

I returned the wave awkwardly and shambled over to her direction, praying to God that I didn’t do something crap, like trip up the stairs.

Gabriella stood up and pulled me into a tight hug. There were no tingles this time, but her body felt soft and warm and she smelled great.

“Were you trying to ignore me Alexander Eden?” she questioned, holding me at arm’s length, eyes suspicious.

“Uh...I...no I didn’t see you,” I stammered.

Gabriella nodded, appeased. She turned away, but left an arm on my lower back. Its presence sent a warm glow running up my spine.

“You all know Alexander right?” she said to the group.

Some nodded and a few even said hello, which wasn’t expected. I gave awkward replies. It was unnerving, I wasn't used to this much attention. I felt my cheeks turning red.

“Okay so I have to go,” said Gabriella. “I owe Alexander some lunch.”

I could see the surprise on the group's faces, but most tried to hide it. I understood then that Gabriella was trying to hoist me up the ladder with her, by letting everyone know beyond doubt that we were friends. It was probably the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me.

We walked away from the crowd, me travelling on jelly legs. I started in the direction of the Canteen, but my companion shook her head.

“I was thinking we could walk up to town. One of the boys was telling me there is a really good fish and chips place. That okay?”

I breathed in deep to help calm my racing nerves. “You mean Cods Haven? Yeah sure, sounds great.”

We crossed the road and headed up towards the main town centre. As we walked, Gabriella fired a barrage of questions at me. She seemed really interested in my life. I told her about my favourite music and books and when my birthday was. She raised her eyebrows a little on the last one, but then carried on to inform me that my star sign was Leo, which meant I was caring and a born leader, but harboured intense anger which could be released when provoked. I smiled and nodded, just enjoying the sound of her voice. She was vibrant and used her hands a lot whilst she spoke. I felt little pangs in my stomach every time I looked at her. Occasionally I tried to dig up more about her personal life, but somehow the conversation always ended up back on me.

As we reached Chapter Hill town centre, the bright fascias of the various shops and restaurants bloomed into view. The town itself was one of the biggest in South West London. It had countless supermarkets, a handful of schools, a top 20 University, two libraries and a theatre - which always attracted only the best D list celebrities for Christmas Pantomimes. Central London and all its souvenir flags and hats were only a district line tube or over-ground train ride away. The most unique thing about Chapter Hill though was how green it was. The whole town was surrounded by thick woodland known as Susurrate forest. Plus there were numerous lakes and parks dotted around. It felt like a paradise hidden in London’s urban jungle. I loved it. To me, Chapter Hill felt more like home than any other place I’d been.

It was just a shame about the people.

Cods Haven stood sandwiched between a Video rental shop and a bookstore. A little wooden sign shaped like a fish hung over the door, swaying gently in the icy breeze. It was a quaint place with pale blue walls and cream leather booths. A Greek couple owned it. They got under each other’s feet, so would serve with a smile and then storm out the back to argue.

When I’d first joined the Sixth Form, I’d gone there quite a bit. It was quiet - a good place to escape to. All the students seemed to favour the McDonalds further up the road, which meant I could make it through an entire lunch break without any hassle. That all changed when Terry and the gang spied me in there once.

I’d been too embarrassed to go back since.

As we neared the door it became apparent that the golden arches were no longer the venue of choice. The queue for Cod’s Haven stretched out of the door. Most of the people standing in line were students. The line shortened faster than I expected. When we got inside, I saw this was because the owners had done a fair bit of hiring since I’d been a regular. Aproned teenagers, most of them likely students from the University, darted about behind the counter taking and serving orders. In a booth tucked near the back, I noticed Mikey sitting with a couple of guys and girls, including Lisa. His friend nudged him and pointed at us. He looked up, and raised his eyebrows, followed by a grin and an over the top thumbs up. I rolled my eyes and gave him a curt wave.

“Friend of yours?” Gabriella asked.
I sighed. “Kind of. That’s Mikey.”
“Oh your brother?
“Half-brother,” I corrected.
“You don’t look all that similar,” she mused.
I felt the shame. “Don’t I know it,” I mumbled.
“Yeah, you’re much cuter than him.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m sorry,
what
? You think I’m better looking than the popular ‘can have anyone he wants’ Mikey”?

She waved a dismissive hand. “Not my type.”

Lightning hit my chest.
Hold on a second
, the voice in my head deduced,
if Gabriella doesn’t fancy someone like Mikey, then maybe
... I was jolted back to reality by her elbow in my ribs. The attendant was staring at me.

“I said what can I get you pal?”

On Gabriella’s suggestion we wandered over to Providence, the largest and most popular park in Chapter Hill. The grass was damp from the morning rain and gave off an intoxicating smell. We made our way into the kid’s adventure playground area and settled on some swings, resting the food on our laps. The heat came through the carton, warming my legs. I rocked back and forth, scraping up woodchips with my foot whilst absently stabbing at my food with the little plastic fork.

“Can I ask you a question?” I said, skewering a chip.
“Of course.”
“Why are you here?”
Gabriella shrugged. “I thought it would be nicer than the Canteen.”

I shook my head. “No, I mean why are you here with me? Surely you must know how much everyone hates me by now. Why are you bothering?”

She sighed. I could sense her turn, eyes scanning for mine. I kept staring at my chips.
“Because I like you.”
I snapped my head up. “But…you don’t even know me.”

The corners of her mouth lifted up at the edges. “Well I like to think I’m a good judge of character and I get a good feeling from you.” She bumped her swing against mine playfully. “Can I ask you a question?” she added.

“Uh…sure.”
“Why are you so unhappy?”
Her words hit me like a battering ram. I had no defence prepared. “I-I’m not,” I blurted. “Why would you say that?”
“Because you wear it like a sign” she replied. “Come on, you can talk to me...we’re friends.”
Inside the feelings I’d pushed deep down so long ago were stirring, like a bag of snakes, twisting their way free.
“I-I don’t want to,” I said looking away.
“Alexander…” she placed a hand on my shoulder.

“Because I hate my life okay!” I yelled, hurling my chips across the playground. They smacked against a tree-trunk and slid to the ground in a heap. I pressed my hands against my forehead. “I hate my life,” I repeated in a whisper. Gabriella tried to put her hand on me again, but I shrugged it off and stood up. Instead she placed her food down and used the chain to haul herself onto her feet.

“Why?”
I stared at her. “Well, would you want to be me?”
“I don’t know. What’s wrong with being you?”
“Are you kidding? I’m a loser. A nobody.”
“Don’t say that.”
“Why not? Everyone else does! So it must be true. Even my arsehole of a stepdad thinks I’m a stain on his perfect family.”
Gabriella placed a soothing hand on my arm. “Well what does your real dad think?”
I stared over her shoulder into the park. “I don’t know. He isn’t around anymore.”
“Did he leave?”
“He’s dead,” I replied.
Gabriella’s expression softened. “I’m so sorry. To lose a parent is...awful.”

I shook my head. “You don’t understand. He died when I was a baby. I didn’t even know him! Plus my Mum refuses to talk about him, which means he must have been a special kind of arsehole. But for some reason when I think about him I feel pain, like...I miss him. How messed up is that?”

Gabriella moved so she was standing next to me. “That isn’t messed up at all Alexander. Not having a father around to support and protect you is hard.”

A strong wind picked up, rushing through the trees and rippling the grass beyond the playground. A gust lifted the collar of my jacket, pinning a portion of it against my cheek. I absently smoothed it back down.

“I don’t even know if he cared about me.”
She placed a hand on my back. “I’m sure he did.”
Inside, the snakes were still slithering their way up. I could feel myself wanting to talk more.

“If losing one dad and being stuck with a replacement who hates you isn’t bad enough, I have Mikey to compare myself to. Gabriella, he’s better than me at
everything
. Oh and doesn’t John let me know it!” I added bitterly. “If it wasn’t for Mum I’d have left a long time ago.”

I walked over to the metal fence that separated the playground from the rest of the park. Gabriella followed. To my horror, I could feel tears threatening to gather.
I can’t cry in front of her!
I panicked inside. It wasn’t my choice though; the words couldn’t be stopped now.

“I always thought I could gain acceptance at school. You know, make friends. But the harder I tried the more I repelled people! It’s as if there is something fundamentally wrong with me, like I’m diseased or something. It’s been that way for as long as I can remember.”

My eyes stung from the effort of holding back the tears. I wrapped my hands around the fence, twisting until my knuckles went white. Gabriella placed her hand on top of mine - it felt warm. She looked at me, her eyes urging me to continue.

“When we moved to Chapter Hill, I prayed that maybe I could re-invent myself; that things could get better.”

She squeezed my hand. “I’m guessing they didn’t.”

“They got worse. Not only did no one want to know me, but somehow I got on bloody Terry Burton’s bad side. The bullying is worse than it’s ever been.” A single tear spilled over and rolled down my cheek. I quickly wiped it with the back of my hand, hoping Gabriella didn’t notice. “What you saw the other day was just a glimpse of what I get
all the time
.” My voice was growing thick.

“Why hasn’t someone stopped him yet?”

I laughed humorously. “Why should anyone care? As long as its loser Alex and not them on the radar.” Another tear slipped down my cheek. I watched it drop and splash onto the fence.

“You know, I have one friend and to be honest I think he just feels a bit sorry for me.” On my last words my voice cracked. “Truth is, if I disappeared, I don’t think anyone would care.” My chin was trembling, but I couldn’t stop. Willing myself not to look at Gabriella I added, “So if this is some kind of horrible joke, just don’t okay? Leave now and I promise I won’t ask why. I won’t ever bother you again. You can tell everyone you humiliated me or something. I just...can’t take any more.”

I waited for Gabriella to leave. Instead her fingers slipped into mine and pulled me around to face her. “How could you think such a thing? Why would this be a joke?” she said, her tone more hurt than angry.

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