The Autumn Palace (25 page)

With possibly the worst timing in the world, Lord Vincent stepped into view. Looking his usual smug self,
he said, ‘That costume suits you.'

‘Watch it, caramel yoghurt,'
⁹⁰
Shambles said.

‘How very gallant of the ferret to defend your honour,' Vincent said with a sneer.

Sickness spread through Ondine at the sight of him. As far as she was concerned, the less she had to do with him the better. ‘What do you want?' she asked.

‘It's, “What do you want, My Lord”, to you.'

Ondine closed her eyes hard, but they rolled behind her lids anyway. ‘Fine. What do you want,
my lord
?' She said it in such a way that Vincent would know she hadn't capitalised the letters.

‘I want you gone. From the moment you arrived we've had nothing but bad magic. The storm, the fish rain, outbreaks of food poisoning, and now the seneschal seems to know what I'm about to say before I say it. He's always been good at anticipating people's needs, but he's never been able to read minds before.'

‘How can any of that be my fault?' Ondine said.

‘Because you're a bad egg and you're spreading
bad magic wherever you go.' Vincent said, glaring at her.

‘Watch it,' Shambles said, rearing up on his hind legs and exposing his nippy wee teeth.

Across the room, Ondine saw Hetty whisper something to Ms Kyryl. Fear spread through her at the thought that they might have overheard Shambles. Instead, Hetty and Ms Kyryl both stood up and got all fidgety. A blush stole across Hetty's face. Nope, it wasn't Shambles making them pay attention, it was Vincent. Hetty was ga-ga for the Duke's son. If only she knew what he was really like!

Vincent stood his ground. ‘Because of you, an entire coven of witches is demanding an audience with my father to discuss all this messy magic. Why don't you save everyone the hassle and just leave?'

Oh, he made her cross! ‘Because he wants us here, OK? You probably haven't noticed, because you only think of yourself, but your dad's sick and we're trying to find out why.'

‘He was fine before you lot arrived, so if you want him to get better, you should get lost.' He looked her
up and down and sneered at her costume. ‘If you're not gone by the first of November, I'll have you arrested for trespassing.'

With that, he sneered again and marched off. Not a moment too soon as far as Ondine was concerned. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Hetty giving a dramatic sigh, as if the world's most famous movie star had just walked by.

‘We have a saying in Scotland about people like him,' Shambles said.

‘I hope it's rude.'

‘Waste of time if it's not.'

Ondine laughed and tried to look on the bright side. ‘Maybe he's right? Maybe we should go home.'

‘And leave all this? I don't know aboot ye Ondi, but I'm
loaving
it. First real job I've had in years. I've never felt so useful or important. Each week I'm on a different watch, it's so exciting.'

‘But . . . my parents would give you a job just like that.' She clicked her fingers. She also thought,
And you're important to me
, but couldn't say it over the lump in her throat.

‘But that wouldnae be a proper job, not really. More like a family obligation. And I thought ye liked me being responsible?'

Mist covered Ondine's eyes.

‘Aw, naw, hen, dinnae cry. I'm truly sorry fer upsetting ye. And I know the teacher is giving ye a hard time, but I'm not sorry fer getting ye the answers. It was the only way tae save ye from being sent home.'

‘But . . . we should have thought of something else.'

‘I know. But there wasnae time. I felt lower than a worm when I saw how much I'd let ye down.'

‘Thank you.' Ondine wiped away a tear of gratitude.

‘Now the Duke knows yer working fer the Infanta, Ms Kyryl can't bother ye no more. I'm proud of ye, hen. There's bound to be plenty ye can tell the Duke about his mad sister, no?'

‘No. That's the problem.' Ondine felt her spirits sagging. ‘There's nothing to tell.'

‘Sure, there must be. That Infanta, she's always up tae something.'

‘I wish I shared your confidence.'

Some reassuring kisses would have come in handy at this point, but her true love remained a Shambles-ferret.

‘As much as we cannae stand Vincent, he had a point. There has been some strange magic round these parts,' Shambles said.

‘Strange doesn't begin to cover it. This place is off-the-scale weird. And have you heard the children sing? They used to sound like mangled cows, but now they're amazing.'

‘Aye, true. And have ye seen what Ms Kyryl's having fer lunch?'

‘It's disgusting.'

Across the room, Ms Kyryl finished eating her sandwich and began wrapping slices of salami around wedges of apple. Nearby, the rest of the school children scoffed their lunches. They sure were eating plenty. Maybe the cold weather made them hungry? If they hadn't all had their dose of worming medicine, the Duchess would be convinced they were infested with parasites. Hetty held her bowl of food up to her
mouth and shovelled it in like she was starving.

Everyone ate so noisily Ondine and Shambles could continue their conversation without being overheard.

‘I bet you've been giving the Duke plenty of information about Vincent,' Ondine said to him.

Shambles shifted on his paws, as if the floor were made of lava. He looked up and swallowed, his accent full of remorse. ‘Apart from the obvious, that he's a total pillock, I goat nothing.'

‘What do you mean, “nothing”?'

Shambles climbed on to her lap, but kept his voice low. ‘I know, I'm shocked as weil. It was a total bust. I snuck around fer ages, listening as hard as I could. I tried going through diaries, but there was nothing. I thought I might get something when the Duchess arrived in his rooms. She talked with him for a while, but I swear they said nothing incriminating. The most she's ever said is, “One day all this will be yours, ye need tae be ready”, but that's it. I thought she'd say more, but she didnae.'

‘They know we're on to them. Tell me, Shambles,
when you were listening, did you see them, or were you hiding?'

‘I was hiding, of course.'

‘Right. So maybe they were saying one thing, but it meant something else. Or maybe they were passing notes and you didn't see it?'

‘Yer a smart girl. Ye can see why I need ye here to help make sense of all this. Nice costume by the way.'

Ondine ignored the compliment, because she felt so ungainly. ‘He must be planning something.' She wondered if she were being suspicious merely because she couldn't stand Vincent, or if something really was going on. ‘If you've got nothing, what are we going to tell the Duke? You're going to have to find out
something
.'

The Duke had threatened their eviction if they didn't get more information. A gleam of hope flickered in Ondine's mind – she would go back to her old school, where the lessons made sense and they wouldn't make her dress as a lumpy vegetable. Except then Hamish wouldn't be happy working for her parents in the pub. Why could nothing be simple?

‘Eh . . . we might have tae tell him about the Duchess's secret stash,' Shambles said.

‘I'd hold off on that. He doesn't like to hear bad things about her. Did you see his face when I talked about Draguta? If it came down to it, he'd take his wife's side over ours. And there's no point telling him Kerala drinks too much because everyone knows it, he just can't see it,' Ondine said.

‘Aye, it's a real shame when people can't see what's right in front of them,' Shambles said.

‘Children, places, please,' Ms Kyryl called out.

Ondine swayed to her feet and flumped out her costume to get it back into proper cabbage shape.

‘Unless,' Shambles piped up, ‘yer sure ye havenae goat anything on the Infanta? Sure and she'd be worth something?'

Heavy guilt weighed her down. ‘The Infanta declared she'd love to push the Duchess down the stairs. But I'm sure she was only wishing out loud.'

‘Aye, there's bad blood between those two.'

‘You've got that right. But . . . I want to keep that between us for now,' Ondine said.

‘Aw nae! Don't tell me yer starting tae
like
her now?'

How could she explain her feelings when she didn't even understand them herself? ‘Kind of. I mean . . . she's not all that bad once you get to know her.'

‘Not that bad? She could be the one behind the Duke's troubles, and yer sticking up fer her! Ondi, love, ye have tae tell the Duke. If ye don't give him something, he could send ye home.'

‘Shambles, maybe that would be for the best,' she said heavily. Sure her parents would ground her for the next month. Maybe the next year, but she knew where she stood with her family.

‘Aw nae, dinnae think like that. I need ye here with me, Ondi.'

‘But everything's going wrong.'

‘Ye can't go!' Shambles's voice cracked. ‘Aw nae, ye look so sad, yer breaking my heart.'

Ondine thought,
And you're breaking mine
.

 

90
   Someone with excellent lineage who turns out bad. The combination of caramel, being golden and scrumpy, and yoghurt, being so lovely and delicious, should be fabulous, but instead it's horrible
.

T
he next day, Ondine and Infanta Anathea made fresh pasta together and cooked it with parsley, basil and butter. Ondine felt they'd forged some kind of bond, which only made her feel more wretched at the thought of ratting on her.

When they had finished eating, Pyotr came to the Infanta's rooms. Ondine's heart lurched behind her ribs.

‘The Duke will see you now,' he said to Ondine.

‘Oh yes, and what's all that about?' the Infanta asked.

‘I don't know,' Ondine said, although she had a fair idea. Guilt churned in her tummy.

When Ondine arrived at the Duke's office, Hamish was already there. Back in handsome human form in smart clean clothes. He looked so lovely, standing tall as she walked in, with a lock of hair flopping
over his forehead. Her hands itched to brush it away. Circumstances prevented it.

‘Ondi, I'm a waiter again, I'll be working at the Hallowe'en Ball. I'll be able to watch ye in the play,' he said.

Oh dear
. ‘That's . . . nice,' she replied.

‘I don't have much time,' the Duke said, his forehead creased in pain. Something scrunched behind Ondine's ribs at the sight of him – he should be getting better but instead he looked worse. This time, his office was freezing cold and she had to lock her jaw down to stop her teeth chattering.

‘I need to be in four places at once,' the Duke said. ‘Ondine, Hamish tells me you have some news?'

A cannonball to the gut couldn't have hurt more. Ondine looked at Hamish and couldn't believe he'd dropped her right in it.

A look of shame crossed Hamish's face and he said in a low voice, ‘I wouldnae be doing me job if I didnae tell him what ye told me.'

Her mouth dry, Ondine swallowed.

‘I'm waiting,' the Duke said, rising from his chair and
packing papers into an attaché case. A couple of times he winced and touched his side. One of the kitchen staff came in and delivered the Duke's elevenses – a tray of savoury pastries stuffed with spinach and feta. One of them was already cut in half. Old Col must have tasted it first.

The room felt so cold it was difficult to talk, but Ondine gave a small cough and spoke: ‘The Infanta admitted to me she would like to push your wife down the stairs.' She wished the ground would open up and swallow her.

The Duke shook his head and frowned. He didn't look cold. If anything, his cheeks were pink, as if he were hot. Annoyed, even. Did that mean he wasn't happy with the information? In which case she should have lied and said she had no information. Sweat broke out on Pavla's forehead and he breathed hard. Then he seemed to collect himself and gave Ondine a solemn look. ‘I am sorry you had to hear that. But I am grateful you told me. It's important to tell me these things. You may have saved my wife's life. Thank you, Ondine.'

If it wasn't so cold, her jaw would have fallen open in shock.

The next day Ondine went to the kitchen to collect ingredients for lunch. Just as she was about to leave with her basket of vegetables, herbs, milk and eggs, Duchess Kerala arrived. At close range, Ondine could see the dark line around her face where the mask of make-up ended and her neck began.

‘Where do you think you're going with that?' The Duchess pointed at Ondine's food with a plump finger. Her free hand held a glass of red wine, even though it was barely half-past breakfast.