The Autobiography of Henry VIII: With Notes by His Fool, Will Somers (25 page)

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Authors: Margaret George

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And now, as I was in the very act of reaching for her, my pre-formed desire in the ascendant—
“Your Majesty, I am with child.” How calmly those four shattering words came from her lips.
I dropped her arm.
“Yes,” she said. “It will be in June.”
Seven months. She waited expectantly (in both senses of the word), waited to hear my happy words.
How wonderful. I will make you Duchess of X. What
joyooked forwurs. You must have your own estates, honours, be recognized as Maitresse en Titre,
my love, my desire, my pretty one.
“You must leave court,” I said.
“Yes.” And?
“I wil!—I will find you a place to go. Nearby, so I can watch over you until the child is born. Perhaps a priory in Essex.”
Her face changed. “But—”
“You must leave the Queen’s service immediately. It would be a scandal for you to continue as her maid of honour. It would dishonour all three of us.
“And my father?” she cried. “Surely he should leave your service as well? Does it not dishonour
him
to continue to minister to a—a man who has seduced his daughter?”
“So now you turn sanctimonious? This was not your tune in the beginning. Oh, no, then you dismissed my qualms as overscrupulous, old-fashioned.”
“I have honour, too! It is not only you and the Queen who are entitled to it! I have honour, and my father has honour, and now to be treated so lightly—”
How tedious this was, how unpleasant. Why did all pleasure have this rancid aftertaste?
“Come now, Bessie. It was sport, we agreed it was, we’ve enjoyed one another, but now it is time to observe the proprieties, lest we cause a scandal, and thereby harm ourselves. And the child.”
“I loved you! I loved you, and now you treat me as a burden, a problem to be solved.”
There it was, the dreaded word:
love.
I did not want to be loved; that was the burden. Unwanted love was the greatest burden of all.
“It is not you that is the burden ...” I began, but it was too difficult and complicated to explain, and in the end I could not say the only words she truly wished to hear, anyway.
“And after the child comes, what then?”
“Wolsey will find you a husband. Never fear, you will be well married.”
“Wolsey!”
“So you see, you will not have been ‘dishonoured.’ You will be as marriageable as if you had remained chaste the entire time at court.”
“You let Wolsey attend to even this ... personal thing?”
“It is not personal, Bessie.”
That was the tragedy of it for her, and the embarrassment of it for me.
 
There could be no resistance on her part. I would give orders, and in the morning she would be gone.
That night, as I lay alone in bed, I wondered, in horror and fear of what lay within me, why I felt nothing for her. For three years we had joined our bodies, laughed, sung, and exchanged affectionate words. Yet her actions had been real, and mine, evidently, had not.
Toward midnight I fell into a restless sleep. I dreamed that I was passing through a field of poppies in which each flower, if one looked deep within its red center, had a woman’s face. The faces were different, yet all the flowers were alike. Ifys withered up during the night. Their scent was beguiling but not addicting. This puzzled me because Arabs used poppy seeds for medicine, which was said to be strongly addicting.
The morning sun dispelled the shreds of this strange dream, but the coming day felt stale already.
XXVII
K
atherine wished for our child to be born at Greenwich. Mary had been born there, and Katherine wanted the same chamber, the same attendants, the same everything. A good Christian is not supposed to be superstitious, but I overlooked Katherine’s “failing,” if it can be called that, because I shared it. I would propitiate anything, because I knew not from which quarter the hostility came.
“I was born here,” I told little Mary, as we passed a late April morning walking about the palace gardens. She and I were in front of Katherine, who needed the pathway entirely to herself, so bulky was she. And not just because of the infant. She herself had become very bulky.
Mary looked up at me. She loved hearing my voice; I could tell. “Yes, I was born here, and you were born here. Your mother and I were married here! It is a special place.”
Overhead the skies were piercingly blue, and I could smell the coming spring in the air: a peculiar sort of blending of sweetness and death. We walked near the water-wall, where the Thames caressed the stones.
Mary pointed up at the gulls. “Birds!”
How well she spoke! How alert she was! “Yes, sea birds,” I said. “You find them wherever there is great water.” I looked out at the boats bobbing all about, and especially at the royal wharf where my long-awaited flagship was tied up. “The water is England’s greatness,” I said. “It surrounds us on all sides and protects us from enemies, but at the same time it allows us to master it and make it our servant. With ships to ride it, as people ride horses, we shall go far.”
Mary pointed at
Henri, Grace à Dieu.
“Go see.”
“No.” Katherine shook her head.
“Let the child indulge herself,” I said.
“You mean, let yourself.” Yet she was amenable.
I showed our daughter about the great ship, nicknamed
Great Harry.
Every odour of her planks, every creak of the ropes made something within me sing. I longed to be away, gone, upon open seas....
Mary began fingering the captain’s knot-cords. “Those are to measure how fast a ship is moving,” I said, opening her fat little fists and making her drop the rope. “But we mustn’t mess them.”
She began to whine, then to cry. Katherine, waiting upon the docks, looked up. Through a mother’s ears, she had heard Mary’s faraway cries.
She took the child in hand as we alighted off the gangplank, and forced her to walk obediently along the water-wall separating the palace grounds from the marshy area surrounding it and from the river itself—for Greenwich was a sea-palace, but protected from the ravages of water.
Katherine went to her lying-in chamber inurroundn my hand, only to find it being opened from the other side. I shot into the room.
Linacre awaited me. His face told me nothing. It was as bland as old snow in February.
I was relieved. It meant Katherine lived; for if she did not, he would hardly have looked so blank.
“Your Majesty.” He gestured. “The Queen wishes you to be with her.”
I followed him down the connecting suite of rooms (all muffled with hangings, to keep toxic airs out, and therefore black and stuffy) to the last, darkest one of all: the birth chamber.
Katherine lay in the great bed, her attendants sponging her and combing out her sweat-soaked hair. Physicians were still scurrying about, clicking instruments and gathering bowls and blood-drenched linens. It was as busy as a banquet in there.
“Henry.” Katherine gestured to me. I came and took her hand. It was so limp, damp, and hot it felt like a wadded washcloth.
“What has happened?” I had to know. Whatever it was, I had to know. Katherine lived; at least I could be sure of that.
“Dead.” There was no need for more than that. The one word said everything.
“A son?”
She shook her head. “A daughter.”
Then that was not quite so bad, not an unequivocal sign.
“I am grieved.” But relieved. The heavens were yet ambiguous. A clear sign was what I dreaded above all. “May I see her?”
Katherine tried to stop me, but I did not heed her feebly gesturing hands as I turned to the little bundle lying at the foot of the bed, its face covered, denoting death.
Gently I pulled the blanket aside, just to see her face once, to make her mine, before consigning her to the earth forever.
It was no human face that I uncovered, but that of a monster. It had but a single eye; no nose, just a gaping great hole; and mushroomlike, puffy lips, over a mouth with teeth.
“Jesu!” I recoiled.
Katherine reached out for me, clutching. So that was why she had screamed upon first beholding it.
“What have you brought forth?” I am ashamed that those were my words to her, as if the monster were her handiwork.
She closed her eyes. “It is not I. I knew not what I harboured.”
“I know. Forgive me.” When I remembered all the times we had looked fondly at the swelling of her belly ... while inside, this horror had been taking shape. “I spoke in sorrow, and stupidly.” I looked at the lump. “Thank God it is out of you, and born dead.” It must be buried somewhere away from consecrated ground. Deep in the earth, where it could decay and never rise.
I motioned to William Butts, Linacre’s young assistant physician. “Call for a priest.” I wanted only a priest to handle the thing. Butts nodded, then started to pick up the bundle.
“Stop!” I cried. “Do not touch it!” Let it lie there on the bedcovers, which afterward must be burnt. And instead of a churching ceremony, Katherine and I must be ritually cleadiwocame and, after muttering a few words, gingerly picked up the dead deformity and put it in a sack. He would know what to do with it. I did not presume to tell him; nor did I want to know where it would lie.
I insisted that a second priest come in to bless and purify Katherine and myself immediately. He did so, whilst the bed was being stripped of its contaminated coverings, and I had to hold Katherine in my arms. But I dared not issue forth from the chamber until it was done. I was trembling with fear—revulsion—premonition.
I carried the limp Katherine all the way through the long wing of the palace to her own apartments, where fresh bleached linens would be laid upon her own bed, where windows were open and healthy summer air could enter. Out of that fetid chamber of contagion and death, and into the daylight of normalcy. She did not protest, merely let me carry her, like a sleepy child past its bedtime.
As I was leaving her quarters, one of the novices from the Priory of St. Lawrence was waiting for me in the guard room. His gentle eyes above his black-hooded robe searched mine.
“The Prior sent me to tell you ... Mistress Blount is brought to bed. Her delivery is imminent.” He waited, not knowing how I would receive the news.
“Then I must come.” Like a man in a dream, I heard myself speaking. It had all taken on the features of a dream now. I was being tested, and I no longer knew what God required of me. But I knew that I must see all that was ordained for me to see. I must be at Bessie’s side, even if something worse awaited me there. The human requirement was that I bear it with Bessie.
“Lead me,” I said.
The young novice—his name was Richard, he told me—and I crossed the Thames directly from Greenwich to the Tower. There I got us fresh horses from the royal stables, and from thence we would ride through the night to the Priory, which lay some thirty miles outside London.
First we had to make our way through the city, sleeping now in the bluish midsummer darkness. Did anyone now follow those ancient midsummer rituals used for foretelling the future? Make a cake, scatter certain flowers about the bed, then walk backwards in silence.... The houses seemed quiet. The people therein—my charges—rested secure. O God, if only I could provide them with the one security they needed above all—an undisputed heir to the Throne.

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