The Atonement (17 page)

“Congratulations, Chris! I can’t believe it’s
been that long already,” said Tim.

“Word, we’re really proud of you, man. Look
how far He’s brought you. If only those dealers could see you now,”
said Allen.

“That’s right, and he’s been going wit me and
Davis to the gym, too. He’s gettin’ all swolled up and everything,”
said Richard, “I know they wouldn’t want to try to mess wit’ you
now”

Jim winced at his words as if he were hit in
the stomach.

“I don’t worry about them anymore,” said
Chris.

“Jim, are you okay?” asked Callie.

Jim looked around at everyone. They were all
eyeing him strangely, especially Riley.

“I’m fine. I’m just getting a little
tired.”

“If you need, we can cut the celebration
short,” said Allen.

Jim felt he should take advantage of his
friend’s offer. The day had been pure agony and a nerve had been
touched. He’d had enough.

“After all the work you guys put into this, I
don’t want to ruin it,” said Jim.

“This is about you and you can cut it off
whenever you want to. We all understand that you still need time to
recuperate,” said Allen.

“Yeah. I think I’m gonna do that. You guys
can stay out here if you want, but I think I’m going to call it
quits,” said Jim.

“Aww. But you haven’t even opened your
presents yet,” said Tamiko.

“You heard him, Miko. The celebration is
over. Let’s clean up,” said Allen.

*****

Jim was in Allen’s room standing by the door.
He was actually propping himself up on a crutch and the doorknob,
waiting. When he saw Chris come upstairs to use the bathroom, Jim
knew he had to take what could be his one and only chance to talk
to Chris alone. Jim had to find out what Chris had told the others
about his past.

When he heard the toilet flush and the water
running, Jim peaked out. There were a few tense second before the
door opened and Jim made his move.

“Chris,” he called out to him softly.

Chris heard his name, but couldn’t see who
was calling him. He looked around for a moment, and Jim opened the
bedroom door wider so he could be seen.

“Chris!” called Jim a little louder this
time.

This time Chris saw him. He stood motionless
with a suspicious look as if he didn’t know if he should trust
Jim.

“Come here for a second. I just want to talk
to you.”

Chris came to the door and Jim motioned to
him with his head to come all the way in. Jim was tired of propping
himself up and sat in the armchair by the door.

“I didn’t know these was your people, Jay – I
mean, Jim.”

“Look, man you don’t have to be worried about
me. I’m not going to try to hurt you. I couldn’t even if I wanted
to.”

“What you want?”

“I just want to know how much you told them
about everything.”

“They know I had a habit, and I told them
about some of the things that had happened to me, but I ain’t name
no names or nothing.’”

Jim breathed out a sigh of relief.

“Jim, I’m not lookin’ to put the past on
blast. I know you tryin’ to start over just like I am.”

“I appreciate you, man.”

“Just so you know, Smoke and Bricks dead.
Smoke killed Bricks then Trace killed Smoke. Now Trace got all the
spots, and that’s all he wanted in the first place. So you don’t
have to worry ‘bout them.”

“Thanks for the information.”

Chris turned to leave.

“Just make sure no one sees you go out.”

He nodded, looked out and left.

Jim struggled as he used his crutch and his
one good arm to get out of the chair and limp his way back to the
bed. As he lay down, his burden shifted a bit, making it a bit
easier to carry. His drug-dealing past was securely under wraps –
for now. He closed his eyes and tried to go to sleep, but he
couldn’t. There was this pulsing heat in his chest. At first he
thought it was indigestion, but then he realized it was something
else. It was the landmine hiding inside his heart.

Sixteen

Callie knew something was up when she saw how
Jim and Chris reacted to meeting each other. It seemed to her as if
they’d met before and were both surprised to meet each other at
this party. She even noticed how Jim kept eyeing Chris throughout
the celebration, which made her even more suspicious. Then her gut
confirmed it when she saw how Jim went grey when Chris started
talking about his past. The only question that remained to be
answered was how Jim and Chris knew each other. Callie knew that
Chris had been a heroin addict and Jim had been smoking weed for a
while before she broke up with him. There was the possibility that
they had done drugs together. “Perhaps Jim had ended up doing
heroin as well” she thought to herself. Whatever it was she had to
find out.

After Jim had retired to Allen’s room, Callie
was determined to corner Chris to find out just what the connection
was, however, her attempts were thwarted due to all the cleaning up
that was going on. Allen had asked her to help him clear the table
while Chris was taking down decorations in the living room. When
the clean up was nearly done, Chris excused himself to use the
bathroom, which Callie didn’t think much of. She would wait until
he came back and then offer him a ride home. After a while, Callie
got anxious and went upstairs to check on Chris. They hadn’t known
Chris very long and unlike Allen, she couldn’t trust such a new
acquaintance to have the full run of the house, especially one that
had been a heroine addict.

As she went up the stairs, she heard someone
call Chris’s name. She stopped so that who ever was beckoning
couldn’t see her on her way up. After a moment, she continued on
and she saw Chris enter Allen’s room closing the door after him.
This was her chance to find out what was going on between them.

Callie crept over to the door and tried to
eavesdrop on their conversation. It was difficult because the men
were talking in low voices. However, she did hear Chris say that he
wasn’t going to “put the past on blast”, and how he mentioned that
Jim didn’t have to worry anymore because some guys named Smoke and
Bricks were dead. Callie listened until she heard the tread of feet
toward the door. Then she went into the bathroom and waited until
she heard Chris go down the stairs. When she felt the hallway was
clear, she came out of the bathroom and went downstairs behind
him.

Now everyone was bidding each other goodnight
and getting ready to go home. Callie had to act quickly if she
wanted to get to Chris.

“Chris, would you like a ride?” asked
Callie.

“Actually, he’s riding with me,” said Davis
before Chris could respond.

“Crap!” thought Callie. Now the interview
would have to wait.

“Besides wouldn’t that take you out of your
way? I know you have to pick up Darius from the sitter,” reminded
Allen.

“That’s right,” said Callie remembering her
son. In her haste to get information about Jim she nearly forgot
about Darius.

Callie wished the others goodnight and gave
Allen a peck on the mouth before leaving for her car. She was still
pondering her next move on the way. She had to find out who Smoke
and Bricks were and Jim’s connection to them.

On sudden reflection, Callie realized that
talking to Chris might not be such a great idea. He had just made a
pact with Jim to keep quiet about the past. He probably wouldn’t
answer her questions and may even go back to Jim and tell him that
she had been inquiring about it. Callie thought she would take
another route. She decided to use her street smarts to figure it
out. She knew some shady people who might know, like the woman who
used to be her former neighbor from the projects. She and Callie
used to go clubbing together back then, but she got caught up in
drugs and ended up a prostitute. They didn’t hang together any
more, but whenever Callie went by that way to visit her mother,
she’d holler at her old friend. If Smoke and Bricks were dealers or
addicts from the area, she might know something about them. In any
event, Callie had to know what Jim was hiding and she had to figure
it out before the others did. She needed that tactical advantage
just in case Jim’s conscience got the better of him.

Seventeen

Riley was sitting in front of the vanity
wrapping a scarf around the front of her afro before getting ready
for bed. Meanwhile, Tamiko, dressed in her pajamas and bed robe,
was outfitting the air mattress on the floor with sheets and
pillows. They’d had a long day with the barbecue and then coming
back home to watch the ‘Courageous’ movie with Tim. Now it was time
to turn in. Tamiko herself was in no hurry to get any sleep. Now
that Riley had gotten a chance to meet all of her friends in person
for the first time, she was anxious to know what she thought,
especially with regard to one person in particular.

“So, what do you think?” asked Tamiko, ready
for the start of a long session of sister-talk.

“Hunh?” said Riley who seemed to be lost in
thought.

“I mean what do you think about our new
friends?”

“I think
your
friends aren’t the kind of people
I want to hang with.”

“I should’ve known you would say that. May I
ask why? I mean as far as I can tell they’ve gone out of their way
to be nice to you.”

“Nice? You call that nice? Richard made a
pass at me, Tim was trying pull a snow job on me, and Davis was
giving me attitude the entire time. Not to mention that Chris fella
is just plain weird.”

“Richard
was
trying to be nice. That’s just his
way. And I told you Tim got saved so he’s not the same guy I wrote
you about five years ago. Chris can be a little spacey sometimes,
but I can’t believe you thought Davis was rude. He has to be the
nicest guy I’ve ever met. Sometimes he can be quiet, but that’s
only because I think he’s a little shy. He’s really very sweet and
sensitive.”

Riley’s revelation took Tamiko by surprise.
She had always valued her cousin’s judgment when it came to people,
because she was rarely off the mark. She had expected Riley’s
distaste for the others, but she believed Davis to be of such
impeccable character that not even the ultra-critical Riley Sharpe
could find fault with him.

“Miko, that’s your infatuation talking. Trust
me, this guy is no good. He was practically glaring at me when you
introduced him, and when we were playing dominoes, he barely spoke
two words to me and was huffing and sighing the whole time.”

“You brushed him off when I tried to
introduce him…”

“I brushed him off because he was acting like
he didn’t want to be introduced.”

“Who would, after the way you chewed up
Richard and Tim?”

“Richard needed to be put in his place, and
Tim’s just too sensitive about race stuff.”

“Everyone thinks Davis is a great guy.”

“I bet his ex-girlfriends don’t.”

“Of course his exes
wouldn’t, especially if he’s the one that instigated the break up –
which would have to be the case because who would want to break up
with a guy who’s sweet
and
drop-dead gorgeous.”

“Miko, are you listening to yourself? You do
realize he used to be a banger, right?”

“That was a long time ago before he got saved
– almost a decade ago.”

“Still, saved or not, bangers tend to be
emotionally unstable people with a lot of issues. I used to date
one, if you remember.”

“Riley, I’m not that naïve. I’m well aware of
what his life was like before coming to faith. He’s shared parts of
that with me. But Davis is nothing like Tyrell. Davis has left that
life, and Tyrell was still out there when you were dating him.”

“So Davis has left the life. How do you know
the life has left him?”

“
Because I’ve seen how his
faith in God has changed him. God can change anyone no matter what
their past.”

“God can change you, but the devil can tempt
you, too. Believe me, Miko. I know what I’m talking about. If this
guy is asking you for space, give it to him.”

“I have been giving him space, since that’s
what he wants, but I don’t want us to be through.”

“It’s not always about what we want, but
what’s best.”

“I know, but then I’m right back to where I
started – alone, without the possibility of finding anyone and as
old as I’m getting…”

“You’re only 23 years old!”

“And I’ll be 24 in less than two months. Add
to that the time it takes to find the right person, and then who
knows how long for the relationship to grow, I may not be married
until I’m 40.”

“Wait a minute, am I hearing right? Is Tamiko
Bynum worried about getting a man?”

“Not ‘a man,’ the ‘right man.’”

“What happened to working on your teaching
career and your work in the children’s church? What happened to
fulfilling God’s will and worrying about the guys later.”

“Who says it isn’t God’s will for me to have
a husband?”

“If you think it’s God’s will, then why are
you worrying about it? If it is, it’ll happen. Just be patient and
let Him lead you to the right one. If you try to make it happen
according to your time, the only thing you’re gonna get is a mess.
Trust me, I learned that the hard way.”

“But you don’t understand – every other time
I would meet a nice guy who wasn’t a Christian, or a Christian guy
who wasn’t so nice, but Davis is a nice guy and a Christian. In
fact, I never thought I would ever meet a guy as good as Davis. If
he isn’t the one for me, then who is?”

“When Samuel came to Jesse’s
place he thought Eliab was the perfect guy to be king, and so did
Jesse. He was the oldest and strongest son of the bunch, but God
said, no. Then they looked at the other brothers, thinking it would
be one of them, but God still said no. He saw what they couldn’t.
Now you might think Davis is perfect for you, but that doesn’t mean
he is. Remember God can see what you
can’t.”
¹