The Asset (19 page)

“But—”

“Get out.” I backed out of the sitting room, unable to stand the pressure building in me any longer. “Go away. Get out of my house, all of you.”

“Take cover,” Will shouted in a Scottish accent. “She’s gonna blow!”

I ran up the stairs and slammed the door to my room. I locked the door and wedged a chair under the knob. I sunk my face in my hands and sobbed. Neil whimpered, sniffed and scratched on the other side of the door. This had to stop. No more tears. I shed the flannel shirt and began to dress hastily, muttering to myself like a nutcase.

My hands trembled violently. The rest of my body shook too, as if I suffered from hypothermia. Yes, indeed, hypothermia of the soul. I wasn’t just angry. I was furious. I was terrified too. Steiner had showed up. Here. To wreck my life. Gunny Watkins had betrayed me and she didn’t even know it. No good deed went unpunished.

And Ash? I groaned. Ash had crashed into my life like a wrecking ball. Hired his friends. Staked out my hideout. Did he sleep with me to add to his subterfuge or had he really wanted me?

I chewed on my pinkie nail until my cuticle was raw. Maybe Ash was somehow Red’s man. Maybe he’d been paid to get to me through my pants. Red was sly. Red was calculating, ruthless and cruel and his reach extended way beyond the obvious.

Oh, my God. Ash was right. Paranoia was taking over. It clawed at my brain and gnawed at my reason.
Get a hold of yourself.
I stopped nibbling on my nail and clasped my hands together. Breathe and cope, cope and breathe. Think, think, think.

Red would resort to the vilest methods to get to me, including torture and murder. The mere suspicion, let alone the knowledge, that someone else had used the body he claimed as his would drive him to raging insanity.

No, Red would never allow another man in my bed, not even one of his cronies, not even if it was to trap me.

And Ash? I had to trust my instincts about him. I had to trust reason. He would never be someone else’s crony. It was against his nature, impossible. Logically, he had no motive to be in cahoots with Red. He didn’t need money. He’d been in a hospital for the past few months and, before that, he’d been in Afghanistan. He hadn’t come to Copperhill by chance. He was Wynona’s grandson and he belonged here.

Why then had he gone to all this trouble?

Because he loved me, that’s why. Even in my fragile state of mind, it was obvious. He loved me so much that he was willing to take on enormous risks and impossible odds to keep me alive. No one had ever loved me like that. I didn’t know that courage like his existed. The emotions clobbered me all together, infuriation, joy, terror, elation and relief, lots of relief. I was thinking again and I could trust my heart.

True, Steiner might have caught me by surprise if it hadn’t been for Ash’s surveillance, but what really incensed me was that Ash had lied to me. Okay, maybe not lied outright, but he’d distracted me with his antics and broken trust by keeping things from me.

Or had he?

I remembered the conversation we’d had at the restaurant weeks ago, when I had accused him of snooping.

“I’m talking about minimizing risk factors and establishing factual operational parameters,”
he’d said.
“I can’t ask questions and you won’t tell me who you fear or why. What other option did you leave me?”

What other option indeed?

The option to stay out of my life. How was that for a good, sound, safe, intelligent option? The courtesy of respecting my wishes and refraining from putting him and his friends in the middle of a deadly fray. The opportunity to stay alive.

But, no—oh, no—he was just too smart for his own good, too brash not to pick a fight with titanic bullies who’d crush him without a second thought. I shoved my legs into my blue jeans. Ash might have a death wish, but he was not going to fulfill it under my watch.

A soft knock came from the door.

“Lia,” he murmured from the other side. “We have to talk.”

“We have nothing to talk about,” I said.

“Please open the door.”

“Go away.” I hurled my boot against the door.

The impact shook the wall, rattled the mirror and sent it crashing to the floor, a huge clatter that reverberated throughout the cottage.

I stared at the broken mirror on the floor. I wasn’t a violent person. I wasn’t usually enraged either. My life had always been on the line. It had always been expendable. I had been running for so long that today should’ve been business as usual.

But it wasn’t.

Since coming to Copperhill, I’d experienced freedom, self-sufficiency and a good life. Then Ash had crash-landed in my life and everything had changed again. I had a lot more to lose now. I’d tasted the sweetness of companionship and friendship, the power of passion and affection. I’d tasted Ash.

I swallowed a sob. He was maddening, calculating, scheming, overprotective, stubborn, and maybe even controlling, but he was also good, wholesome, honorable, smart, steadfast... How was I supposed to give him up?

Ash’s voice came again, even but strained. “Lia, baby, I know you’re mad, but you’ve got to listen to me. You’re not thinking clearly.”

For once, I was thinking very clearly. He was not going to die because of me. This amazing, brave, extraordinary human being who’d become the exclusive focus of my affections would live a long, satisfying, joyful life, so help me God. And that’s why I had to give him up. Because that was the only way he was going to live beyond me.

Out in the pasture, Ozzie began to bleat, and Izzy and Ivy soon joined the breakfast racket. I had all but forgotten about my crew. After today, I’d never see them again. I’d never see Neil either. Or Ash. I swallowed another sob.

“I’ll take care of the animals,” Ash said against the door. “Be back in five.”

Five minutes. That might be all the time I had.

I laced my boots while considering my options. I had several escape routes prepared for this eventuality. I selected the one that offered the best chance for a clean escape.

I forced myself to move fast. I wiggled the boards blocking the old fireplace and retrieved the escape duffel I’d stowed there. I was relieved to find everything intact, despite Ash having been through it. I packed a few last minute things, then stuck my arm up the dark flue and pulled the rope ladder that I had concealed up the chimney. Good. He hadn’t messed with that, either.

The rope ladder was old and tattered, but it worked. I’d bought it at a firehouse yard sale within days of moving into the cottage, in case I had to escape from the second-story windows. Clearly, it had been a good investment.

I hooked the ladder over the windowsill. I took a last look at my room, at the little cottage where I’d claimed my dreams. And then, despite the pain pummeling my chest, I wiped the tears from my face and climbed out the window.

Chapter Thirteen

I stole along the ravine and followed the dry creek bed to get to the lake. I crept under the barbed wire fence to the property next door and walked for about another mile, where an old, abandoned shed crumbled at the edge of the beach. Along the way, I passed the dilapidated dock where Neil, Ash and I had taken so many happy lunches. Like the shattered mirror, my heart splintered into jagged shards.

The old door creaked when I cracked it open. The morning sun illuminated the bow of the weathered rowboat I’d hidden beneath some rubble and an old tarp. It was an ancient thing, missing the middle seat, probably dating to the 1920s, but I’d tested it several times and it would take me across the lake, from where I could walk to the nearest truck stop.

I pulled on the boat, but it didn’t budge. I squinted into the darkness. I couldn’t see a thing back there. I leaned my weight against the heavy door and, pushing with all my strength, widened the opening. A perfect rectangle of light advanced over the space, illuminating the entire shed.

I gasped.

Ash sat on the boat’s back bench as quiet as the dead. Next to him, Neil wagged his tail and barked.

“Hush, boy.” Ash petted the dog. “Lia here is executing a top secret escape. No point in ruining it just because you’re happy to see her.”

My bag fell out of my grip. “H-How did you know?” The air just rushed out of me. “Never mind.” This was Ash I was talking about, the most thorough creature in the universe.

“As a contingency plan, a watercraft made total sense to me,” Ash said. “I just had to figure out where you hid it.”

I braced myself on the door. “Why did you follow me here?”

“I have questions,” he said. “I need answers.”

“Ash, I—”

“Why are you running?”

“Excuse me?”

“I asked you a simple question,” he said. “Why are you running?”

“Because of Red,” I said, “but you know that.”

His eyes narrowed. “Are you sure?”

“Of course,” I said. “Why else?”

“The way I see it,” he said, “running is a habit of yours. It’s the way that you deal with everything.”

I straightened. “Are you calling me a coward?”

“Your words, not mine.” He leveled his stare on me. “Sometimes, running is the right call. You could very well be running from Red, but knowing you, you could also be running away from...other things.”

“Other things like what?”

“You could be running away from our future.”

Our future
? The mere idea set my heart aflutter. We had a future? Together?

“Running won’t make you safe,” Ash said. “Or happy.”

“But it may keep me, and especially you, breathing for a few more days.”

“Maybe,” he admitted. “But don’t you get tired of running?”

Yes, I did, but I didn’t dare to dream about a life without running, because I knew, deep inside, that it wasn’t possible.

“I have to say this to you, Lia.” The lines between his eyes deepened. “I can’t stand it when you get like this. It pisses me off. Period. I have a hard enough time with my temper. Today has been...challenging.”

The strain etched on his face smacked my brain. I wavered. I hated the pain and frustration I’d added to his life.

“I also don’t appreciate you patronizing me with your condescension—”

“I don’t—”

“You do too,” he said.

“When?”

“When you keep me out of the loop,” he said. “When you take it upon yourself to make decisions for me.”

I scoffed. “How do you think I felt when I saw your guys and Steiner in the cottage?”

“That’s different.”

I cocked my fist on my hip. “How?”

“I tried to work with you, but you wouldn’t let me. You’re so stubborn—”

“Stubborn? Really? This is Mount Everest talking.”

“You’ve got major trust issues,” he said. “I get that, fine. You’re used to going at it alone. Okay. I can buy that too, if I have to. But maybe you also doubt me, because you don’t know me so well, or because I’m on injured reserve.”

I realized that I’d struck at the heart of his insecurities. At some level, he believed I was running away because I thought he was weak, incapable or disabled, or worse, because I didn’t want to be with him. He feared I was running away from the very concept of us.

Was he right? Could I be that sick?

“I don’t doubt your abilities,” I said, “I know you’ve got skills.”

“I set out to prove that you can trust me,” he said. “And I did. Do you remember that guy that came to the bar that night, the one who I told you was my business partner?”

“Yes?”

“Together we own a global security consulting firm,” he said. “Through it, I hired the guys, secured the cottage, set up surveillance and caught Steiner. Did I do wrong?”

I grappled with the enormity of his actions. Where could I begin to unravel the mess in my mind?

“I appreciate your good intentions,” I said. “But you’re squandering your money and you’ve got to believe me. You and the guys are in terrible danger.”

“Each person made their own decision,” he said. “Each person was chosen because they have the qualifications and expertise to do the job. As to my resources, they’re mine to use as I see fit. What would you have done in my place?”

Most sane people would have walked away from trouble like mine. I myself favored running away as far and fast as possible. But Ash? He wasn’t like the rest of us.

“I need to know, for good.” His eyes fixed on my face. “Do you want to be with me? If you do, I’m willing to find a way to make it happen. But you’ve got to answer my question honestly. Are you running away from me?”

“No—yes—maybe—” I hesitated. “Maybe I’m—I was—a little scared of us, of the way I feel about you. It’s...overwhelming.”

“Tell me something I don’t know,” he said.

“But now...” I swallowed a sob. “I can’t stay.”

“What if you could stay?”

“If I could stay?” I hugged myself. “I wouldn’t leave you. Ever.”

The smile on his face brought back the light into my world. He reached behind the craft and plopped down his fully loaded backpack in the boat. “Mind telling me where we’re heading?”

I croaked. “
We
?”

“Yes,
we
,” he said. “You wanna run? No problem. We run.”

“
We
can’t run,” I said. “We’d be too easy to find.”

“Because I have a cane and a dog?”

“Because you coming with me would defeat the purpose of me running in the first place.”

“Which is, of course, to keep me out of this and safe,” he said in a flat monotone.

“And the guys,” I said, teetering at the edge of hysteria. “And Neil, don’t forget Neil.”

“I’m thinking Iceland.” Ash clasped his hands and steepled his forefingers together. “Astonishing geography. Or Barbados, if you prefer a tropical climate. Oh, yeah, you’d look great in a bikini.”

“Don’t make this harder than it already is.”

“I’ve got excellent contacts in Poland.” He tapped his fingers against each other. “Top-notch special forces friends over there. Or we could go to Madagascar. We touched down there en route. It seemed like a fascinating place.”

“
We
can’t go anywhere,” I said. “
I’m
the one who has to go.”

“See, now, that’s a problem.” He straightened his fingers and cracked his knuckles. “Should you be tempted to go anywhere without me, you’ll keep getting the same result: me, anticipating your every move.”

“You can’t—”

“Oh, yes, I can and I will,” he said. “It’d be a monumental waste of time and energy if you ask me, a huge strategic mistake, not exactly where I’d choose to concentrate my resources right now. But Neil and I, we’ll do it if you force us.”

He was so damn stubborn, not to mention devious, bringing Neil into the picture like that. But I believed him. He wasn’t one to make idle threats. He’d do exactly as he said and then he’d get killed. Neil tilted his head and whimpered, shifting his attention between Ash and me.

“Ash,” I said. “I don’t want to go, but I have to go. Surely, you understand.”

“Yeah, sure, if we’re running, we ought to get going.” Ash checked his cell. “On the other hand, unless they hear from me, the guys will wait a minimum of twelve hours before releasing Steiner, and, as of three minutes ago, our target and his assets remain stationary.”

I couldn’t wrap my head around that one. “How could you possibly keep track of Red?”

“I told you,” he said. “These guys are good and I’m using the resources of one of the most advanced global security firms in the world.”

Of course it would be the most advanced global security firm in the world if Ash had anything to do with it. But the world didn’t turn on an axis of kindness. Free lunches didn’t exist. Even if Ash was a founding member, his partner would expect something from him in exchange for using the firm’s resources.

“So what’s the catch?” I asked. “What do you have to do for them?”

“I’m expected to become an active partner.”

“But you love being a SEAL,” I said. “You weren’t sure about leaving the service.”

“It’s like you said, Lia, I’m leaving all of my options open. I agreed to become active in the firm, but I haven’t given anybody any starting dates just yet.”

He’d done all of this...for me?

“I can’t let you or the guys get killed on my account,” I said. “I just can’t.”

“I know you have trouble with this,” Ash said, “but you need to understand. You’re dealing with a high level of expertise. Will’s skill set is exceptional. He’s got tabs on Red. He’s hacked into his devices. He’s actually hooked into the signal from Red’s ankle monitor. We’ve even got visual on his place. So...”

“So what?”

“So we have some time, not a lot, but a few hours to make good decisions.” He offered me his hand. “Let’s make them together.”

Stepping into the landlocked boat was both victory and defeat. Kneeling before Ash was a reprieve from my heart’s execution. I relished the way he took me into his arms and welcomed me against his body. I let out a long breath. Was this how a hermit crab felt when it found the perfect shell?

I leaned my head on his shoulder and found joy in his heart’s steady song. Ash signaled and Neil abandoned ship. The dog bounced out of the boat, trotted out of the shed and plopped down outside to guard the building, obsidian fur gleaming under the sunlight.

I looked up at Ash and found him waiting. He kissed me. The contact squelched my worries, eased my anxieties and melted away the fear. In his arms, I could be brave. It was reckless, but how could anybody blame me for wanting this?

“If you die, I’ll kill you,” I mumbled against his lips.

He chuckled and kissed me again. “I’ve proven myself hard to kill before, but I’ll be careful. I wouldn’t want to be haunted for eternity by your merciless spirit.”

“I’m not kidding, Ash. I’ve survived a lot of stuff, but I can’t survive you dying on me.”

“Funny how death doesn’t bother me overly much,” he said. “A life without you, now that’s terrifying to me.”

A moment ago, a life without Ash had been exactly my best prospect. Now I had to kiss him while holding back tears. I’d never loved anyone the way I loved Ash.

“No need to stress right now,” he said, caressing my face. “It’s going to be okay.”

His mouth distracted me from his hand’s doings. I didn’t notice when my coat came off, or when he unzipped my jeans. By the time I did notice, he’d already unbuttoned my shirt and unhooked my bra.

“Um...this might not be the best moment for this kind of thing.”

“I disagree.” He kissed me some more.

“Here?” I looked around the dusty shed. “Now?”

“Here, now,” he said. “Say yes, Lia. You need this. Christ help me, I need it too. If I don’t have you right now, I might just pass out from lack of blood to the brain.”

“Is that so?” I stroked the bulge between his legs. “I do believe I just found all your blood.”

He grabbed my hand and pressed it against his groin. “Say yes, Lia, and hurry up, please?”

I cherished the look on his face, the excitement in his eyes, the boyish grin that was not boyish at all, but sexy as hell. I relished the way he looked up at me and waited, the fact that he wanted me to need him as badly as he needed me. I liked that he would back off on the spot had I said no.

“Yes.”

The look in his eyes obliterated any option that involved living my life without him. He unfastened the sleeping pad from his backpack and unfurled it on the bottom of the boat. It took him hardly any time to finish undressing me. He tugged off my boots, peeled off my jeans and, after stripping my shirt, hurled it overboard, along with my bra.

I blushed, looking down on my naked self.

“No worries.” He stripped out of his own clothing. “Now we’re even.”

Between kisses, he laid me down on the mat at the bottom of the boat. He kissed my feet and, with care, hung each one by the heel on the boat’s back bench. It was hard to lie still when I was so intimately exposed, and yet I wasn’t afraid. The Mona Lisa smile etched on his face praised, reassured and promised at the same time.

He kissed my toes, shins, knees and thighs in a slow progression, working his way up my body, delighting me with his lips. My pulse quickened and my breaths sharpened. He kissed my sex and then licked me as if every fold in my body tasted like an exquisite delicacy and my clit was a treat. Talk about bliss. I clenched the gunwales and puffed through his tongue’s caress, melting under his mouth’s exquisite heat.

“Oh, God.” I whimpered, delirious, entwining my fingers through his hair and curling my hips against his tongue. “I’m going to come.”

“Not yet,” he mumbled, pausing for a moment.

“But I can’t wait.”

“Believe me, the wait will be well worth it.”

I moaned and I begged and still he held me in place as his tongue deepened its reach to taste the very heat he’d baked into me. His gaze probed mine, lustrous and engaged, assessing my reactions. Lips parted, I blew out little breaths. I had no choice but to keep my legs apart, arch my back and stand the tasting, flowing with all kinds of flavors delivered exclusively to his mouth.