The Assassin's Prayer (5 page)

“Franchi,”
Kain interjected. “SPAS-12. Not the kind of toy you would have out on the
floor. It’s my understanding that you have some stock in the back that’s not
available to the general public.”

“Who
told you that?”

“A
friend.”

Paul
rolled his eyes. “People and their friends. Everybody tells somebody else. It’s
a miracle the cops haven’t busted me yet.” He gave Kain a look that was
probably meant to be hard, but the effect was totally ruined by the thick
glasses. “SPAS-12 is gonna cost you a lot of money. Have you got a lot of
money?”

“I’ve
got the money.”

“Then
I’ve got the gun,” Paul said. “Step into the back.”

******

Twenty
minutes later, Kain exited Paul’s Guns & Sporting Goods with his
newly-acquired SPAS-12 hidden under his duster. The gun had been used, but
after field-stripping it and examining all the parts, Kain had been satisfied
it was in working condition. He walked toward his Jeep to stash the shotgun
before meeting Larissa.

The
wind had kicked up a couple of notches. Vigorous gusts tried to claw open the
duster and expose the firepower beneath. Kain held the jacket shut. Last thing
he needed was some security guard to drive by and see him packing heat. Contract
security companies had a habit of hiring overzealous idiots with a penchant for
overreacting.

Dead
leaves rustled around his ankles as he reached the Jeep. As he tucked the
SPAS-12 under a heavy quilt in the back, his thoughts turned to Larissa, no
doubt already at the restaurant, seated and waiting for him.
Better fifteen
minutes early than one minute late,
had been one of her mottos and she
lived by it.

He
locked the Jeep and made his way through the mall to the restaurant, situated
in the far corner of the food court. The hostess greeted him and led him to
where Larissa, just as he had expected, was already seated in a booth. Sirius
lay quietly on the floor beside her, head resting on his paws, dark eyes watching
Kain carefully as he approached. He slid into the booth across from Larissa and
almost instantly a waitress appeared to take their drink orders. Kain asked for
a beer, Larissa opted for some white wine.

“So,”
Larissa said after the waitress departed, “how have you been, Travis?”

“Fine,”
he replied. Larissa was still wearing her shades, the dark lenses reflecting
Kain’s face back at him. “You?”

“I’m
doing okay,” Larissa said. “But God, it has been a long time, hasn’t it? Where
did the time go? I honestly meant to stay in touch with you.”

“Forget
about it. After Karen died, I wasn’t much fun to be around anyway.”

“Are
you much fun to be around now?” she asked with an impish grin.

“Not
really.”

Her
light, teasing tone was replaced by one far more grim and serious. “Are you
still in the business?”

“You
could say that.”

The
waitress returned with their drinks. As she set them down, Kain scanned the
restaurant. The act was natural as breathing, something done subconsciously.
When your enemies could be anywhere, it paid to always be on guard.
Here I
am sitting across the table from a beautiful woman and the only thing I can
think about is where the next bullet is coming from.
The thought was both
amusing and tragic, a bittersweet commentary on the nature of his existence.

They
placed their lunch orders—sirloin steak with mushrooms for Kain, chicken
alfredo for Larissa—and the waitress departed once again. Kain leaned forward,
clasped his hands together on the table, and looked at Larissa. Even with the
sunglasses hiding her dark, almond-shaped eyes, she was stunning as ever. “So,”
he said, “how are things with you and Todd?”

Her
mouth twisted bitterly. “He’s dead.” There was a lot of pain in those two
words.

“God,”
Kain said. “I’m sorry. How—”

“Macklin
got him.”

The
room suddenly felt ten degrees colder. “Macklin? You’re sure?”

“Positive.”
Venom laced Larissa’s voice. “I watched him kill Todd right in front of my
eyes. Just gunned him down like a dog. I saw the scar on his throat just before
he shot me in the head.”

Kain’s
eyes automatically flicked to the scar on her left temple.

“The
bullet bounced off my skull—it was only a nine millimeter—but the shock damaged
my optic centers, completely blinding me. The doctors say I’m lucky to be
alive.”

“They’re
right,” Kain said. “To have a bullet ricochet off your head is pretty lucky.”
He gave her a grin that was surprisingly gentle for him. “Then again, you
always did have a hard head.” Despite the attempt to lighten the somber mood
with some banter, Kain was filled with anger. It was bad enough Black Talon had
tried to take him out this morning. But finding out that they had murdered
Larissa’s husband and left her blinded? That really pissed him off.

“Lucky?”
Larissa let out a hollow laugh. “I’m blind, Travis. Trapped in the dark for the
rest of my life. How lucky is that?”

“Very
lucky,” Kain insisted. “By all rights, that bullet should have killed you.”

She
turned her head toward the wall, as if unwilling to face him. When she spoke, her
voice was barely more than a whisper. He had to strain to make out her words.
“Some days I think maybe that would have been better.” She turned to face him
again and reached for her glass of wine.

That’s
when Kain saw the thin white scars crisscrossing her wrists and experienced an
eerie jolt of déjà-vu. A cold chill crawled down his spine and he didn’t even
bother to try to hide his shock. Larissa couldn’t see him and it would have
been futile anyway.

“I
tried to kill myself several times,” Larissa said. It was like she could sense
what he was looking at, feel what he was thinking.

“My
God, Larissa.” He didn’t know what else to say.

She
shrugged. “It was a rough patch. I had lost my husband and been blinded, all at
the same time. Wasn’t much of a stretch to think about checking out and once
you start thinking about it, actually giving it a try becomes a whole lot
easier.” She gave him a smile. “But I’m over it now. Grampy Cobby helped me
through it. Remember him?”

“One
does not forget Grampy Cobby,” Kain said. Grampy Cobby was really Matthew Cobb,
Larissa’s grandfather, the man who had raised her when her parents died in a
car wreck. Kain had met the man several times while dating Larissa. He was a
crotchety old man, foul-mouthed and full of piss and vinegar, but beneath his
rough exterior beat the proverbial heart of gold. He was proof that you should
not judge a book by its cover, because once you got past first appearances, Cobb
was one of the kindest, gentlest men Kain had ever met. No father and daughter
had ever been closer than Larissa and her Grampy Cobby and it was easy to
imagine his strong, wise hand guiding her through the tumultuous waters of
grief and depression. “Is he still around?”

“Lives
about forty miles north of here, up in Dresden,” Larissa replied. “He moved to
Florida for about a year but came back when Todd died. He bought an old hunting
lodge about two miles back in the woods and lives like a hermit now. ‘Off the
grid,’ he calls it. Says he likes the peace and quiet.”

They
small-talked their way through drinks and salads. Kain sensed they were both
being careful to keep the conversation light, neither wanting to step on the
other’s emotional landmines. But by the time their main courses arrived, he
found himself relaxing and enjoying Larissa’s company. When lunch was over, he
would return to his familiar world of blood and violence, but for now that
world seemed far away. Right now he was not an assassin; he was just a man like
any other, enjoying the company of a beautiful woman, having lunch with an old
friend. It had been a long time since he felt this normal.

He
had worked his way through half his steak before the conversation once again
veered into more serious territory. “So,” Larissa said, twirling her fettuccine
with a fork, “are you seeing anyone these days?”

Kain
shook his head, remembered she couldn’t see it, and followed the headshake
with, “No. After Karen, I just haven’t had any interest in getting involved
with someone again. Besides, it wouldn’t be fair to the person I was with.”

“What
do you mean?”

“It’s
just…” Kain faltered, searching for the words; expressing his feelings had
never been one of his strong points. “I just don’t think I could ever love
someone else as much as I loved Karen,” he finally said.

“Even
after what she did to you?”

“Just
because she cheated on me doesn’t mean I stopped loving her.”

“It
must have changed things, though.”

“Sure
it did. But my love for her was not one of those things.”

Larissa
plucked a piece of alfredo-soaked chicken from her plate and gave it to Sirius .
He took it carefully from her fingers, swallowed it whole, and licked his chops
appreciatively.

Kain
grinned. “That dog eats better than some humans.”

“Sirius
is my best friend,” Larissa said, smiling. “Have to take care of him.” She took
a sip of wine and set the glass back down on the table. “Travis, do you mind if
I ask you a personal question?”

“Go
ahead.”

She
fidgeted with her fork for a moment, then took the plunge. “Have you ever
wondered how things would have turned out if we had stayed together?”

Kain
replied without hesitation. “Sure, I’ve thought about it, but it’s impossible
to know. Maybe things would have turned out better for both of us. Maybe they
would have turned out worse. All we can do is play the hand we’re dealt.”

The
corners of Larissa’s mouth quirked upwards in a smile that could have been
either amused or bitter; Kain couldn’t tell which. “So you’re saying you and I just
weren’t in the cards.” She appeared to be looking straight at him, but of
course that was impossible. Still, he could not shake the sensation that behind
her dark glasses, her eyes were cutting right through him, probing for secrets.
“Do you think you’ll ever fall in love again?” she asked quietly.

What
the hell?
he wanted to say. This was
supposed to be lunch with an old friend, not a
let’s rip off our scars and
bleed all over each other
therapy session. But he tamped down on his
irritation and gave her an answer, though maybe not the one she wanted to hear.
“No. I don’t think I’m capable of it anymore.” He set his silverware down and
pushed away his plate, the steak only half eaten, no longer hungry. Why had she
felt the need to dredge up the past?

Larissa
fell silent. The easiness they had felt with one another drained away, bled dry
by the specters of their past. Regrettable … but also inevitable. Yes, they had
been friends once, but then they had become lovers, and Kain knew it was
impossible to go from the latter back to the former. Only fools dared to try. Sooner
or later the past will resurrect and the friendship will suffer at the cruel
hands of love gone cold. That was what had just happened to him and Larissa.

When
she spoke again, her voice trembled. “I loved you, Travis. Even when I was with
Todd, I never stopped loving you.”

“Larissa,
don’t do this.”

“Let
me finish.” Kain couldn’t see her eyes, but he sensed there were tears gathered
in them. “When we say goodbye here in a few minutes, we’ll probably never see
each other again, so I want you to know the truth. And the truth is, I loved
you. More than Todd, more than anyone else. You were the only one I wanted to
be with and it nearly killed me when you left me for Karen.” A single tear slid
out from under the glasses like a diamond emerging from darkness, confirming
Kain’s suspicions.

“I’m
sorry,” he said. “I loved you, but—”

Larissa
waved him off. “Don’t. Just … please … don’t say it. I know you loved me in
your own way, but there are two kinds of love: the forever kind and the
fleeting kind. What you and I had was, at least for you, fleeting. Your love
for Karen, that’s the forever kind.”

Kain
had never felt so self-conscious. He would rather stand naked in Times Square
on New Year’s Eve than have this conversation with Larissa. “What about you?”
he asked. “Are you telling me you didn’t love Todd?”

“Of
course I loved him,” Larissa answered, the lack of hesitation letting Kain know
it wasn’t a lie. “But I only loved him because I could no longer love you.”

Kain
looked down at his hands, trying to compose a response that was honest without
being hurtful. He came up with nothing; honesty and hurt all too often went
hand in hand. His eyes focused on his ring finger. Even after five years, it
felt bare without his wedding band. Maybe that said it all. And maybe it just
didn’t need to be said. He looked back up at Larissa. “I’m not sure what you
want me to say.”

“I
don’t want you to say anything,” she replied. “And I also don’t want you to
misunderstand me. I miss Todd. I really do. I would give anything to have him
back. But he’s gone and I have come to terms with that fact.”