The Art of Seduction (52 page)

Finally, you might think it wiser to present yourself as someone reliable, not given to caprice. If so, you are in fact merely timid. It takes courage and effort to mount a seduction. Reliability is fine for drawing people in, but stay reliable and you stay a bore. Dogs are reliable, a seducer is not. If, on the other hand, you prefer to improvise, imagining that any kind of planning or calculation is antithetical to the spirit of surprise, you are making a grave mistake. Constant improvisation simply means you are lazy, and thinking only about yourself. What often seduces a person is the feeling that you have expended effort on their behalf. You do not need to trumpet this too loudly, but make it clear in the gifts you make, the little journeys you plan, the little teases you lure people with. Little efforts like these will be more than amply rewarded by the conquest of the heart and willpower of the seduced.

Symbol:
The Roller Coaster.

The car rises slowly to the top, then suddenly hurtles you into
space, whips you to the side, throws you upside down, in every possible direction.
The riders laugh and scream. What thrills them is to let go, to grant control to someone else,
who propels them in unexpected directions. What new thrill awaits them around the next corner?

Keep Them in Suspense
—
What Comes Next? • 249

Reversal

Surprise can be unsurprising if you keep doing the same thing again and again. Jiang Qing would try to surprise her husband Mao Zedong with sudden changes of mood, from harshness to kindness and back. At first he was captivated; he loved the feeling of never knowing what was coming. But it went on for years, and was always the same. Soon, Madame Mao's supposedly unpredictable mood swings just annoyed him. You need to vary the method of your surprises. When Madame de Pompadour was the lover of the inveterately bored King Louis XV, she made each surprise different—

a new amusement, a new game, a new fashion, a new mood. He could

never predict what would come next, and while he waited for the next surprise, his willpower was temporarily suspended. No man was ever more of a slave to a woman than was Louis to Madame de Pompadour. When you

change direction, make the new direction truly new.

Use the Demonic Power of Words

to Sow Confusion

It

is hard to make

people listen; they are consumed

with their own thoughts and desires, and

have little time for yours. The trick to making them

listen is to say what they want to hear, to fill their ears

with whatever is pleasant to them. This is the essence of seduc-
tive language. Inflame people's emotions with loaded phrases,

flatter them, comfort their insecurities, envelop them in fantasies,
sweet words, and promises, and not only will they listen to

you, they will lose their will to resist you. Keep your lan-

guage vague, letting them read into it what

they want. Use writing to stir up fantasies

and to create an idealized

portrait of your-

self.

Seductive Oratory

On May 13, 1958, right-wing Frenchmen and their sympathizers in the army seized control of Algeria, which was then a French colony.

They had been afraid that France's socialist government would grant Algeria its independence. Now, with Algeria under their control, they threatened to take over all of France. Civil war seemed imminent. At this dire moment all eyes turned to General Charles de Gaulle, the World War II hero who had played a crucial role in liberating France from
After Operation Sedition,
we are being treated to

the Nazis. For the last ten years de Gaulle had stayed away from politics, dis-
Operation Seduction.
gusted with the infighting among the various parties. He remained very —MAURICE KRIEGELpopular, and was generally seen as the one man who could unite the country, VALRIMONT ON CHARLES DE

but he was also a conservative, and the right-wingers felt certain that if he GAULLE, SHORTLY AFTER THE

came to power he would support their cause. Days after the May 13 coup, the French government—the Fourth Republic—collapsed, and the parliament called on de Gaulle to help form a new government, the Fifth Repub
My mistress staged a lock-
lic. He asked for and was granted full powers for four months. On June 4,
out. . . . \ I went back to
days after becoming the head of government, de Gaulle flew to Algeria.
verses and compliments, \

The French colonials were ecstatic. It was their coup that had indirectly
My natural weapons. Soft
brought de Gaulle to power; surely, they imagined, he was coming to thank
words \ Remove harsh
door-chains. There's magic

them, and to reassure them that Algeria would remain French. When he
in poetry, its power \ Can
arrived in Algiers, thousands of people filled the city's main plaza. The
pull down the bloody
mood was extremely festive—there were banners, music, and endless chants
moon, \ Turn bach the
sun, make serpents burst

of
"Algérie française,"
the French-colonial slogan. Suddenly de Gaulle ap-
asunder \ Or rivers flow
peared on a balcony overlooking the plaza. The crowd went wild. The
upstream. \ Doors are no
general, an extremely tall man, raised his arms above his head, and the
match for such
spellbinding, the toughest \

chanting doubled in volume. The crowd was begging him to join in. In-
Locks can be opeu-sesamed
stead he lowered his arms until silence fell, then opened them wide, and
by its charms. \ But epic's a
slowly intoned, in his deep voice,
"Je vous ai compris"
—I have understood
dead loss for me. I'll get
you. There was a moment of quiet, and then, as his words sank in, a deaf-
nowhere with swift-footed \

Achilles, or with either of

ening roar: he understood them. That was all they needed to hear.

Atreus' sons. \ Old what's-

De Gaulle proceeded to talk of the greatness of France. More cheers.
his-name wasting twenty
He promised there would be new elections, and "with those elected repre-
years on war and travel, \

Poor Hector dragged in the

sentatives we will see how to do the rest." Yes, a new government, just what
dust
— \
No good. But
the crowd wanted—more cheers. He would "find the place for Algeria" in
lavish fine words on some
the French "ensemble." There must be "total discipline, without qualifica-
young girl's profile \ And
sooner or later shell tender

tion and without conditions"—who could argue with that? He closed with
herself as the fee, \ An
a loud call:
"Vive la République! Vive la France!"
the emotional slogan that
ample reward for your
253

254
•
The Art of Seduction

labors. So farewell, heroic \
had been the rallying cry in the fight against the Nazis. Everyone shouted it
Figures of legend
—
the
back. In the next few days de Gaulle made similar speeches around Algeria,
quid \ Pro quo you offer
to equally delirious crowds.

won't tempt me. A bevy of

beauties \ All swooning

Only after de Gaulle had returned to France did the words of his

over my love-songs
—
that's
speeches sink in: not once had he promised to keep Algeria French. In fact
what I want.
he had hinted that he might give the Arabs the vote, and might grant an

—OVID,
THE AMORES,

amnesty to the Algerian rebels who had been fighting to force the French

from the country. Somehow, in the excitement his words had created, the colonists had failed to focus on what they had actually meant. De Gaulle had duped them. And indeed, in the months to come, he worked to grant
When she has received a
Algeria its independence—a task he finally accomplished in 1962.
letter, when its sweet

poison has entered her

blood, then a word is

sufficient to wake her love

Interpretation.
De Gaulle cared little about an old French colony, and
burst forth. . . . My
about what it symbolized to some French people. Nor did he have any
personal presence will

prevent ecstasy. If I am
sympathy for anyone who fomented civil war. His one concern was to
present only in a letter,
make France a modern power. And so, when he went to Algiers, he had a
then she can easily cope
long-term plan: weaken the right-wingers by getting them to fight among
with me; to some extent,

she mistakes me for a more
themselves, and work toward Algerian independence. His short-term goal
universal creature who
had to be to defuse the tension and buy himself some time. He would not
dwells in her love. Then,
lie to the colonials by saying he supported their cause—that would cause
too, in a letter one can

more readily have free rein;
trouble back home. Instead he would beguile them with seductive oratory,
in a letter I can throw
intoxicate them with words. His famous "I have understood you" could
myself at her feet in superb
easily have meant, "I understand what a danger you represent." But a jubi
fashion, etc.
—
something
lant crowd expecting his support read it the way they wanted. To keep
that would easily seem like

nonsense if I did it in
them at a fever pitch, de Gaulle made emotional references—to the French
person, and the illusion
Resistance during World War II, for example, and to the need for "disci
would be lost. . . .
•
On
pline," a word with great appeal to right-wingers. He filled their ears with
the whole, letters are and

will continue to be a
promises—a new government, a glorious future. He got them to chant,
priceless means of making
creating an emotional bond. He spoke with dramatic pitch and quivering
an impression on a young
emotion. His words created a kind of delirium.
girl; the dead letter of

writing often has much

De Gaulle was not trying to express his feelings or speak the truth; he
more influence than the
was trying to produce an effect. This is the key to seductive oratory.
living word. A letter is a
Whether you are talking to a single individual or to a crowd, try a little ex
secretive communication;
one is master of the
periment: rein in your desire to speak your mind. Before you open your
situation, feels no pressure
mouth, ask yourself a question: what can I say that will have the most
from anyone's actual
pleasant effect on my listeners? Often this entails flattering their egos,
presence, and I do believe a
assuaging their insecurities, giving them vague hopes for the future, sympa
young girl would prefer to
be alone with her ideal.
thizing with their travails ("I have understood you"). Start off with some— S Ø R E N KIERKEGAARD, thing pleasant and everything to come will be easy: people's defenses will
THE SEDUCER'S DIARY,

go down. They will grow amenable, open to suggestion. Think of your TRANSLATED BY HOWARD V.

words as an intoxicating drug that will make people emotional and conH O N G A N D E D N A H . H O N G

fused. Keep your language vague and ambiguous, letting your listeners fill in the gaps with their fantasies and imaginings. Instead of tuning you out, getting irritated or defensive, being impatient for you to shut up, they will be pliant, happy with your sweet-sounding words.

Use the Demonic Power of Words to Sow Confusion
•
255

Seductive Writing

Let wax pave the way for

you, spread out on smooth

tablets, \ Let wax go before

One spring afternoon in the late 1830s, in a street in Copenhagen, a
as witness to your mind
—

man named Johannes caught a glimpse of a beautiful young girl. Self-\
Bring her your flattering
absorbed yet delightfully innocent, she fascinated him, and he followed her,
words, words that ape the

from a distance, and found out where she lived. Over the next few weeks
lover: \ And remember,
whoever you are, to throw

he made inquiries and found out more about her. Her name was Cordelia
in some good \ Entreaties.

Wahl, and she lived with her aunt. The two led a quiet existence; Cordelia
Entreaties are what made
liked to read, and to be alone. Seducing young girls was Johannes's specialty,
Achilles give back \

Hector's Body to Priam;

but Cordelia would be a catch: she had already turned down several eligible
even an angry god \ Is
suitors.

moved by the voice of

Johannes imagined that Cordelia might hunger for something more
prayer. Make promises,
what's the harm in \

out of life, something grand, something resembling the books she had
Promising? Here's where
read and the daydreams that presumably filled her solitude. He arranged
anyone can play rich
.... an introduction and began to frequent her house, accompanied by a friend

\
A persuasive letter's \ The

thing to lead off with,

of his named Edward. This young man had his own thoughts of court-
explore her mind, \

ing Cordelia, but he was awkward, and strained to please her. Johannes,
Reconnoiter the landscape.
on the other hand, virtually ignored her, instead befriending her aunt.
A message scratched on an
They would talk about the most banal things—farm life, whatever was in
apple \ Betrayed Cydippe:
she was snared by her own

the news. Occasionally Johannes would veer off into a more philosophical
words. \ My advice, then,
discussion, for he had noticed, out of the corner of his eye, that on these
young men of Rome, is to
occasions Cordelia would listen to him closely, while still pretending to lis-
learn the noble \ Advocate's
arts
—n
ot only to let you

ten to Edward.

defend \ Some trembling

This went on for several weeks. Johannes and Cordelia barely spoke,
client: a woman, no less
but he could tell that he intrigued her, and that Edward irritated her to no
than the populace, \ Elite

senator, or grave judge, \

end. One morning, knowing her aunt was out, he visited their house. It
Will surrender to

was the first time he and Cordelia had been alone together. As dryly and
eloquence. Nevertheless,

politely as possible, he proceeded to propose to her. Needless to say she was
dissemble \ Your powers,
avoid long words, \ Don't

shocked and flustered. A man who had shown not the slightest interest in
look too highbrow. Who

her suddenly wanted to marry her? She was so surprised that she referred
but a mindless ninny \

the matter to her aunt, who, as Johannes had expected, gave her approval.
Declaims to his mistress?

Had Cordelia resisted, her aunt would have respected her wishes; but she
An overlettered style \

Repels girls as often as not.

did not.

Use ordinary language, \

On the outside, everything had changed. The couple were engaged. Jo-
Familiar yet coaxing
hannes now came to the house alone, sat with Cordelia, held her hand,
words
—a
s though \ You

were there, in her presence.

talked with her. But inwardly he made sure things were the same. He re-
If she refuses your letter, \

mained distant and polite. He would sometimes warm up, particularly
Sends it back unread,

when talking about literature (Cordelia's favorite subject), but at a certain
persist.
point he always went back to more mundane matters. He knew this frus-— O V I D ,
THE ART OF LOVE.,
trated Cordelia, who had expected that now he would be different. Yet TRANSLATED BY PETER GREEN

even when they went out together, he took her to formal socials arranged for engaged couples. How conventional! Was this what love and marriage were supposed to be about, these prematurely aged people talking about houses and their own drab futures? Cordelia, who was shy at the best of times, asked Johannes to stop dragging her to these affairs.

The battlefield was prepared. Cordelia was confused and anxious.

256
•
The Art of Seduction

Therefore, the person who
Then, a few weeks after their engagement, Johannes sent her a letter. Here
is unable to write letters
he described the state of his soul, and his certainty that he loved her. He
and notes never becomes a
spoke in metaphor, suggesting that he had been waiting for years, lantern in
dangerous seducer.

hand, for Cordelia's appearance; metaphor melted into reality, back and

—SØREN KIERKEGAARD,

EITHER/OR,
TRANSLATED BY

forth. The style was poetic, the words glowed with desire, but the whole HOWARD V. H O N G

was delightfully ambiguous—Cordelia could reread the letter ten times AND E D N A H . H O N G

without being sure what it said. The next day Johannes received a response. The writing was simple and straightforward, but full of sentiment: his letter had made her so happy, Cordelia wrote, and she had not imagined this side
Standing on a crag of

to his character. He replied by writing that
he had changed.
He did not say
Olympus \ Gold-throned
how or why, but the implication was that it was because of her.
Hera saw her brother, \

Now his letters came almost daily. They were mostly of the same

Who was her husband's

brother too, \ Busy on the
length, in a poetic style that had a touch of madness to it, as if he were in
fields of human glory, \
toxicated with love. He talked of Greek myth, comparing Cordelia to a
And her heart sang. Then
nymph and himself to a river that fell in love with a maiden. His soul, he
she saw Zeus \ Sitting on

the topmost peak of Ida \
said, merely reflected back her image; she was all he could see or think of.
And was filled with
Meanwhile he detected changes in Cordelia: her letters became more po
resentment. Cow-eyed
etic, less restrained. Without realizing it she repeated his ideas, imitating his
Hera \ Mused for a while

on how to trick \ The mind
style and his imagery as if they were her own. Also, when they saw each
of Zeus Aegis-holder, \
other in person, she was nervous. He made a point of remaining the same,
And the plan that seemed
aloof and regal, but he could tell that she saw him differently, sensing
best to her \ Was to make
depths in him that she could not fathom. In public she hung on his every
herself up and go to Ida, \

Seduce him, and then shed
word. She must have memorized his letters, for she referred to them con
on his eyelids \ And
stantly in their talks. It was a secret life they shared. When she held his
cunning mind a sleep
hand, she did so more tightly than before. Her eyes expressed an impa
gentle and warm. . . . \

When everything was
tience, as if she were hoping that at any moment he would do something
perfect, she stepped \ Out
bold.

of her room and called

Johannes made his letters shorter but more numerous, sometimes

Aphrodite \ And had a

word with her in private: \
sending several in one day. The imagery became more physical and more

"My dear child, will you
suggestive, the style more disjointed, as if he could barely organize his
do something for me, \ I
thoughts. Sometimes he sent a note of just a sentence or two. Once, at a
wonder, or will you refuse,
party at Cordelia's house, he dropped such a note into her knitting basket
angry because \ I favor the

Greeks and you the
and watched as she ran away to read it, her face flushed. In her letters he
Trojans?" \ And Zeus'
saw signs of emotion and turmoil. Echoing a sentiment he had hinted at in
daughter Aphrodite
an earlier letter, she wrote that she hated the whole engagement business—

replied: \ "Goddess revered

as Cronus's daughter, \
it was so beneath their love.

Speak your mind. Tell me

Everything was ready. Soon she would be his, the way he wanted it.

what you want \And I'll
She would break off the engagement. A rendezvous in the country would
oblige you if I possibly

can." \And Hera, with
be simple to arrange—in fact she would be the one to propose it. This
every intention to deceive: \
would be his most skillful seduction.

"Give me now the Sex

and Desire \ You use to

subdue immortals and

humans.
. . . "
\And

Interpretation.
Johannes and Cordelia are characters in the loosely auto
Aphrodite, who loved to
biographical novel
The Seducer's Diary
(1843), by the Danish philosopher
smile: \ "How could I, or
Søren Kierkegaard. Johannes is a most experienced seducer, who specializes
would I, refuse someone \