The Art of Life (83 page)

               
His eyes look up at me.
 
“Yeah, but I hurt you.”

               
Now, I quickly look away.
 
“I don’t know what you mean.
 
I was fine.”

               
“Isabelle, I should never have
gone and kissed that girl, or danced with her.
 
I just…..when you told me to do it, you were so serious.
 
It felt like…..never mind.
 
I am sorry that I ditched you like that.”

               
“It’s okay Jeremy,” I whisper,
staring at the floor.

               
“Can you promise me something?”
Jeremy asks.

               
Looking back up at him, I ask,
“What?”

               
“Don’t ever kiss Josh
again.
 
I mean, I may actually have to
hurt him next time.”

               
That makes me laugh.
 
“It was all out of fun.
 
Anyways, he confirmed that I was a really good
kisser.
 
So, I am proud of myself.”

               
“You are a great kisser,” Jeremy
replies.
 
“I told you that already.”

               
“I know,” I groan.
 
“But it’s you.
 
You would probably still tell me that if I
were horrible.”

               
“I love kissing you,” he states,
and as soon as those words come out, he freezes.
 
I don’t even know what to say.
 
It’s like my tongue is stuck to the roof of
my mouth.
 
We stand there for a bit, just
staring at each other, when Jeremy finally says, “We should go to bed.”

               
“Together,” I whisper.

               
He doesn’t move his gaze from
me.
 
“That’s up to you.”
 
I pause and don’t say anything.
 
Jeremy looks away and says, “You probably
shouldn’t, in case a guy asks you out.”

               
“But nobody has,” I reply.
 
“So….what does it matter?”

               
“Isabelle,” he says, “You are
the one who needs to answer that.
 
I am
going to get into my bed.
 
If you join
me, that’s great.
 
If not, I will see you
in the morning.”
 
He stands up and walks
towards me.
 
Jeremy gently kisses me on
the forehead, but lingers there for a minute.
 
When he pulls away, it’s like something is suddenly missing.
 
I watch him walk into his room.

               
I stand there for a while, just
staring at his door.
 
I have no idea what
to do.
 
Slowly, I turn around and walk
into my room.
 
I don’t get into bed, I
just kind of sit on it.
 
Jeremy’s shirt
is on the end.
 
I bend over and pick it
up.
 
Bringing it to my face, I smell it,
and it smells so good.

               
“Are you seriously sitting
there, smelling my shirt?” I hear from my doorway.

               
Throwing it down, I squeak,
“No!
 
What in the hell are you doing in
here?
 
I thought you were going to bed.”

               
“I decided that I didn’t want to
sleep alone, and since you crawl into my bed all the time.
 
I am coming into yours tonight.”

               
“Umm,” I say, as he walks into
my room.
 
“Do you think that’s a good idea?”

               
Jeremy jumps onto the other side
of the bed and looks at me.
 
“Why would
it be a bad one?”

               
“I don’t know,” I whisper.
 
He pats the bed next to him.
 
Against all my better judgment, I lay
down.
 
We pull the covers over ourselves,
but I don’t roll over to him.

               
“Am I suddenly repulsing you?”
He inquires.

               
Turning to him, I say, “No,
why?”

               
“Usually you cuddle up to me,
but tonight you are like five feet away.”

               
“Sorry,” I reply.
 
“I just….”

               
Jeremy sighs.
 
“I really hurt you tonight, didn’t I?”
 
I don’t say anything, but look away.
 
“Isabelle, I feel horrible.”

               
“Did you like it?” I softly question.

               
“Kissing her?” He asks.
 
I nod.
 
Taking a deep breath, Jeremy replies, “Not really.
 
It’s very hollow when you kiss a
stranger.
 
The male side of me was excited,
but the emotional side of me wasn’t very happy.”

               
I look back at him.
 
“That sounds really stupid.”

               
“Just trust me Isabelle, it
meant nothing.
 
At least when I kiss you
it means something.
 
I should have stayed
by you tonight, and I learned my lesson.
 
You kissed another boy.”

               
“But, I am going to kiss other
boys and you are going to kiss other girls.
 
Shouldn’t we be okay with that?” I inquire.

               
Staring up at the ceiling,
Jeremy says, “I guess you are right.
 
I
don’t think I will ever be okay with you kissing boys, but I think that is the
territorial, protective side of me.”

               
“Ah,” is the only reply I
give.
 
With that I roll over and lay my
head on his chest.
 
“I don’t want to see
you kiss girls.
 
It makes me feel weird.”

               
“The
territorial, protective side of you, huh?”

               
“I guess,” I mumble.
 
“Let’s just go to sleep, and deal with this
all later.
 
I am tired.”

               
Jeremy kisses the top of my
head.
 
“Okay.”

               
“I want to go out again,” I
sigh.
 
“Just next time, let’s stick with
each other.”

               
There is a soft chuckle from
Jeremy.
 
“I think that’s a good
idea.
 
Night Isabelle.”

               
“Good night Jeremy,” I reply,
snuggling up to him.
  

               
The
next morning I wake up staring at Jeremy’s chest.
 
I close my eyes and then snap them open.
 
We are lying here, with our legs completely
intertwined, and my right hand is holding his left one.
 
Our fingers are clenched tight together, and
Jeremy has them pressed to his chest.
 
When I actually move my head up, our faces are merely inches apart.
 
My stirring seems to wake him up.
 
Jeremy tilts his head down so that we are
nose to nose.
 
“Good morning.”

               
“Good
morning,” I whisper.

               
Jeremy
places his forehead on mine and closes his eyes.
 
I am not sure what to do.
 
This feels so good, so incredibly good, but I
know it has to be wrong, right?
 
I start
to pull my hand away and Jeremy seems reluctant to let it go.
 
Not wanting to yank, I just twist my
hand.
 
He lets go and rolls over to lie
on his back.
 
“Sorry,” he mumbles.
 
“I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

               
“That
isn’t it,” I say, scooting next to him.
 
“I just wanted to get up.”

               
He
turns and looks at me.
 
“You are pretty
this morning.
 
Your hair is messed up
curls that are hanging in your face.”

               
“
Ewwww
,” I groan, putting my face in his chest.

               
“No,”
he reassures me.
 
“It’s cute.”

               
I
look up at him and our faces are really close.
 
“You are cute every moment of every day, so I don’t think I need to tell
you that.”

               
“Hey,
it’s still nice to hear once in a while, especially coming from you,” Jeremy says.

               
“Well
then,” I start.
 
“You are hot this
morning.”
 
I go to roll over on top of
him, and he quickly shoves me off and sits up.
 
Taken aback, I say, “What did I do?”

               
Snorting
Jeremy replies, “Um, nothing in particular.
 
Can you go make us coffee?”

               
“Yeah
sure, but why are you acting so funny?”

               
Looking
away, Jeremy slightly snaps, “Just go make some coffee Isabelle.”

               
That
makes me feel a little sad and rejected.
 
I get up and go into the kitchen.
 
While the coffee is brewing, Jeremy comes out and joins me.
 
“Sorry about that.”

               
I
turn away from him.
 
“I don’t understand
what I did wrong.”

               
“Trust
me, you did nothing wrong,” Jeremy chuckles and sighs at the same time.
 
“Isabelle, if you think about it, I think you
could figure it out.”

               
Spinning
around, I just look at him.
 
“What could
I possibly figure out?”

               
Jeremy
groans and rubs his face with his hands.
 
“A guy wakes up with a girl pressed against him in such an intimate
matter, it makes certain things happen.”

               
My
mind blanks for a little while and then my eyes get huge.
 
“Oh….OH!
 
Oh
my gosh
, I am
sorry.”

               
“Why
in the world would you apologize?” Jeremy laughs.
 
“I am the one embarrassed.”

               
“You’re
embarrassed?” I ask.

               
He
takes a deep breath.
 
“Yeah, just a
little bit.”

               
“SCORE!”
I exclaim, raising my hands in the air.
 
“I found the one thing that embarrasses you.”

               
His
eyes nearly roll into the back of his head.
 
“What are you going to try to do, arouse me in public now?
 
Otherwise, I am not sure how you are going to
benefit from this embarrassment.”

               
“I
could try doing that,” I reply, tapping my chin.
 
“It may make things interesting.”

               
“You
know part of me is going to tell you not to, but then the guy part of me is
like….I’m game.”

               
“Pervert,”
I giggle.
 
“I am not doing that.”

               
Getting
a very mischievous grin on his face, Jeremy says, “But it could be fun.”

               
“What,”
I laugh, “run my foot up your leg under the table?”

               
“Sweet goodness, yes!”

               
With
a dead stare, I say, “No.”