The Art of Life (12 page)

               
He
chuckles and draws out, “
Oookkkaaayyyyy
.”

               
Eric’s
eyes get big, and just look at me.
 
“Your
hair turned out really nice.”

               
“Thanks,”
I bashfully reply, blushing.

               
“Come
on toots,” Jeremy says, grabbing my hand. “We have other things to buy.”

               
He
starts to pull me past Eric.
 
“See you
later,” I stutter, turning back to Eric.

               
“Bye,”
he retorts, waving.

               
When
we are far enough away, I spin on Jeremy and whisper harshly, “How am I
supposed to get a date with him if you keep stopping us from talking?”

               
“You
want what you can’t get,” Jeremy replies seriously.
 
“If you throw yourself at him, you are going
to come off desperate.
 
If he thinks he
has to work for you, then it’s a challenge.
 
Trust me on this one.”

               
“Do
you date a lot?” I ask.

               
A
huge smile creeps across Jeremy’s face.
 
He turns to look at me with a twinkle in his eye.
 
“It depends on what you mean by a lot?”

               
“Like
how often do you go on dates?”

               
Shrugging,
he replies, “Once a week, sometimes twice.”

               
“Oh,”
I squeak.
 
“Am I stopping you from a date
this weekend?
 
You can go do something
else, if you want.
 
I mean, we did enough
today.”

               
“No,
I don’t need a date, I have you.
 
It’s
been a long time since I had a female….well a friend.
 
It’s nice.”

               
That
makes me smile.
 
“It’s nice to have you
as a friend, too.
 
It will be nice to
have your advice if I do start dating.
 
I
have never been on one before.”

               
“Well,
I will give you a play by play then,” Jeremy laughs.
 
“And I will call you half way through and ask
how it is going.
 
If it is going badly,
you can pretend your house burned down and leave.”

               
I
burst into hysterics.
 
“Do people really
do that?”

               
“You
would be surprised by the excuses that I have given to get out of a bad date.”

               
“Jeremy,”
I scold, “that is awful!”

               
Getting
a shocked look on his face, he snaps, “Women do it all the time, and
it’s
fine.
 
A guy does
it and we are labeled jerks.”

               
Hmmmm
.
 
“Yeah, but the roles are reversed on that,
too.
 
A guy sleeps with a whole bunch of
girls and
it’s
okay.
 
A girl sleeps with a whole bunch of guys and she is labeled a slut.”

               
“Okay,
if a guy sleeps with a whole bunch of girls, he is a slut.”

               
“So….”
I say slowly, “
you
don’t sleep around that much?”

               
Jeremy
narrows his eyes, his expression is priceless.
 
“Do you really want to talk about my sex life?”

               
Quickly
shaking my head, I spit out.
 
“No, I am
sorry!
 
Forget I said that.”
 
I cover my face.
 
“Sometimes, I say what’s in my head and I
don’t think.”

               
“I
told you, if you are curious about the subject, you can ask me anything.”

               
I
instantly groan.
 
“No, please, just
forget that I said anything.”

               
Obviously,
not being able to hold it in, Jeremy bursts out laughing, “The answer is no, I
don’t normally sleep around.”

               
“Why
does the subject keep coming up?
 
This is
ridiculous.
 
No more sex talk!”
 
I articulate strongly, gesturing with my
hands.
 
When I look up, I see a little
old lady scowling at me.
 
Oh, great.
 
I give her a weak smile.
 
She just looks away and walks smugly past us.

               
“Okay,
well I think your stuff is down this aisle,” Jeremy says, pointing to the aisle
to the right of us.
 
We turn and I see
the flat irons right away.
 
“Okay, I need
a blow dryer, a flat iron and some brushes.”

               
Grabbing
a flat iron package off the wall Jeremy grimaces, “This looks dangerous and
possibly painful.”

               
“Yes,
well I need it,” I say.

               
“I
think you should get this one,” he says, holding up the flat iron.
 
“It’s pink.”

               
With
an annoyed look, I ask, “Do I look like a pink type of girl?”

               
“Hmm,
maybe not,” he replies, putting it back.
 
“Oh, what about this one, it crimps.”

               
“What
in the world is crimping?”

               
Jeremy
points to the picture.
 
“That’s it, I
think.”

               
“I
would mess that up so bad if I tried,” I respond.
 
“I just need a normal flat iron.”
 
Looking at them all, I pick one up and read
the back.
 
“Hey, I want this one.
 
It dries your hair as it flattens it.
 
That takes out a whole step.”

               
Grabbing
it from me, Jeremy carefully reads it.
 
“Did Debbie suggest this?”

               
“No,”
I reply, “But come on.
 
Then I don’t have
to dry my hair.”

               
“I
say….we get this, a normal flat iron and a blow dryer.
 
Then you have everything and some back up.”

               
I
snort.
 
“Who knew that doing your hair
requires an arsenal of gadgets?”

               
“Oh,
you need to get this hair dryer,” Jeremy exclaims.
 
He picks it up and shows it to me.
 
“It has a skull on it.”

               
“Awesome,”
I retort.
 
“My bad ass
blow dryer.”

               
Jeremy’s
smile is hilarious.
 
“Every woman should
have one of these.”

               
“Then
that is the one I am going to get.”
 
Looking back at the flat irons, I grab one that is plain.
 
“Alright, now I need two different brushes
and I am done.”
  

               
Jeremy
turns and walks down the aisle.
 
I watch
him and then catch myself checking out his butt.
 
Shaking my head in mortification, I make my
eyes look somewhere else.
 
Seriously
Isabelle!
 
Not being able to help myself,
I look back.
 

               
Then
as if he senses it, Jeremy turns around and looks at me.
 
“Are you coming?”

               
“Yeah,”
I sputter out.
 
My face heats up and I
pray he doesn’t see me blushing.
  
This
time I make sure my eyes stay looking at the ground.

               
When
I make it to Jeremy, he just stares at me.
 
“Are you alright?”

               
“
Mmhmm
,” I hum back.
 
“Let’s just get the brushes.”

               
He
shrugs his shoulders.
 
“Okay.”

               
After
we grab those, we head to the cashiers.
 
“Are you sure you don’t want me to pay for this?”

               
“Why
are you so adamant about that?” I ask.
 
“Don’t you have bills?”

               
“I
am just making sure.
 
Don’t want
repercussions coming back from your mom.”

               
I
shake my head.
 
“We have money.
 
She actually has a good job.
 
She is a functioning alcoholic.
 
During the day, she drinks a little bit, but
at night and on the weekends, it’s a whole different subject.
 
Her parents died before I was born and left
her an inheritance.
 
That has helped.”

               
“I
am really sorry that you have had to deal with that on your own,” Jeremy says
quietly.

               
My
heart gets heavy.
 
“Yeah,
me too.
 
I used to wish I had
siblings, but then I know that they would have to put up with this too and I
couldn’t do that to anyone.”

               
We
drop everything on the conveyer belt.
 
I
suddenly feel Jeremy’s arms go around me, pulling me against him.
 
“I know you don’t know me, I understand that,
and I don’t want to
creep
you out, but I am here for
you.
 
You don’t need to go through this
alone.”

               
I
look up at him and smile.
 
“Thanks.”

               
 
Getting a wicked smile on his face, Jeremy
whispers, “I should scare you, you know.”

               
“I
am still waiting for you to kill me and hide me away in some bizarre, thriller
movie sort of way.”

               
“Yes,
I haven’t figured out what I am going to do yet, so right now, you get to live,”
Jeremy says, narrowing his eyes.

               
With
an exclamation, I yell, “Sweet!”

               
Jeremy
just laughs and pushes me down the line.
 
The check out girl obviously cannot take her eyes off of him.
 
I see this and try not to smirk.
 
Jeremy notices.
 
He saunters over to the cashier.
 
“Hello.”

               
“Hi,”
she replies, in a girly, giggly sort of way.
 
I roll my eyes.
 
“Did you find
everything alright?”

               
“You
know, we got a little hung up in the contraceptives aisle, but I think we figured
it out.”
 
I haul off and kick Jeremy in
the shin.
 
He bends over and screams, “
Ow
!”

               
I
cross my arms and smile.
 
“No need for a
contraceptive when you can’t stand up straight.”

               
Turning
his gaze on me, he says, “Well honey, now you aren’t going to need them for a
while.”

               
“Boohoo,”
I whine, as I gesture that I am crying.

               
“So,
you found everything alright then?” The cashier asks, staring at us.

               
I
nod my head.
 
“Yes, I am sorry for
him.
 
I only let him out of the house
once a month, if you can’t see why.”
 
Doubling over with laughter, Jeremy turns around.
 
I walk over and pat him on the back.
 
“He is single if you are interested.”

               
“Oh,
honey,” Jeremy interjects.
 
“Are you
dumping me?”

               
“Yes,”
I reply dramatically.
 
“I am moving on to
bigger and better things.”

               
Giving
the cashier his alluring smile, Jeremy asks, “What’s your name?”