The Arranged Marriage (26 page)

“Your father?” He prompted her
quietly. She nodded.

“Why do you say that?” He asked
patiently.

“Because I didn’t stop him from
drinking his brandy that day, because I didn’t marry sooner,
because I wasn’t a good daughter,” She sniffed as the pain came to
her again. “He’s gone because of me.”

Fabian smiled and stroked her
head.

“You don’t believe that any more than
I do so why torture yourself? What does torturing yourself
achieve?”

Rohesia looked at him.

“I am here, and he is not.”

“And you think that you should be
tortured for that?”

“Yes,” She looked away. “Because I
sacrificed him.”

“Why?”

“Because, my life, everyday growing up
I would wish for more, wish for change whilst going against nearly
every one of his dreams for me. I wished for what I have now with
Ison and this babe in my stomach and now I have it, but my price is
losing him.”

“Rohesia,” Fabian spoke quietly. “Your
father wished things for you as does every parent for their child,
but it is rare that we obey them.”

“You did.”

He let out a sigh as he realised she
spoke of the time he had sacrificed their friendship for his
people.

“I had a choice to make Rohesia, that
was different,” He continued to stroke her hand. “It may have not
been a great choice but it was still a choice, and I am still here
with you now. Don’t you think I knew that at the time?”

“But you left, just like everyone
leaves.”

“I have never left, and never will. I
have always been there for you, and I always will be, and so will
your father, and your mother. Their glow is very bright around
you.”

She smiled slightly as the tears
started up again.

“It’s so hard, being without him. It
hurts, so much.”

“I know my sweet, but you have a
choice to make,” He whispered. “You have a choice to become bitter
and push your parents’ spirits away, or you have a choice to go on
and live your life brightly, knowing they are by your side. They
will live on in you, if you let them.”

She felt cold at that moment, but then
the heat raced through her just as quick, releasing a little
tension in her stomach at his words.

“I sense so much going on in you
Rohesia that no wonder you’re confused. You need to take control of
your emotions and deal with each one on its own, otherwise it will
consume you.”

“But how?”

“By thinking about Ison, about your
babe that I must congratulate on carrying,” He smiled. “You will
make a wonderful mother.”

She sighed as he sensed the doubt. He
held tight on to both of her hands.

“Now listen to me, I will give you
something to help but I will need assistance from you in order to
do this. Do you accept?”

She nodded, anything to take the pain
away.

“Very well, then close your
eyes.”

She obeyed his instruction as she shut
her eyes tight, instantly mesmerised at Fabian’s soft words. He
waited for her to go under.

“Rohesia, where do you
hurt?”

“All over.” She replied,
honestly.

“Who makes you smile?”

“Ison,” She said in a hypnotic state,
with a smile creeping on her lips.

“And who protects you?”

“Ison,”

“Who makes you feel like getting up
each morning?”

“Ison,” She whispered, all thoughts of
restriction escaping her.

“
What would you prefer
Rohesia?” He asked again. “A lifetime of worry and fear of losing
the ones you love, and pushing up barriers to hurt them and prod at
them? Or a lifetime of enjoying every day with them?”

“A lifetime of enjoying every day with
them.”

Fabian was pleased. She was definitely
capable of loving Ison, but she would not allow herself to enjoy it
completely through her fear of losing it. She was missing out on so
much, he thought to himself as he tried to find a way for her to
lose the fear, in order to give her the strength to guide Ison with
his.

“Rohesia, you have the strength to
stand alone, to be a queen, alone, a ruler and a mother alone, you
are strong enough and could do it, you know that you can. You are
wise, you are kind, you are stubborn and you are strong, but you
also have a choice to never be alone,” He kissed her cheek as he
felt her fall into a helpful slumber. “Do an old friend a favour,”
He whispered. “And let love in.”

He stood as her breathing settling
into a relaxed rhythm.

“You are never alone.” He whispered
into her ear before making his way to the door.

“I am never alone,” She whispered as
she fell deeper into her sleep, her heart already feeling lighter
from Fabian’s magic. “I am never alone.”

Ison didn’t know what to do. He knew
he had to go in and visit Rohesia sooner or later. It had been a
while since Fabian had departed but Ison’s emotions weren’t
allowing him to make a decision on how he should feel, which had
put him in a very bad mood. Control was his thing, something that
he had learnt to do and handle from an early age, and now he was
practically being ordered to relinquish all control if he was to
find happiness. But did he want happiness? He thought to himself as
he remained standing by the same window from Fabian’s visit, did it
actually exist?

He had known many men who had declared
utmost love and happiness one moment, and then not long after
declaring it to one they had been declaring it to another. What if
he was to one day feel stale towards Rohesia? Or worse, what if she
were to feel stale towards him? No, Ison thought to himself.
Without control there would be eventual pain for them both and he
wasn’t going to let that happen. A decision finally in place, he
felt a small bout of peace enter his mind, allowing him to ignore
the nagging words of both Argarth and Fabian that were settling in
the back of his head. Rubbing his brow he finally stood tall and
confident, and in control, made his way into their
chamber.

Ison entered the room and he was
stunned for a moment to see Rohesia out of bed and sitting on the
window seat. He took his time to watch her sitting there, unknowing
of his presence. The sight of her immediately threw his idea of
being in control straight out the window. Why did the sight of her
always affect him this way? He thought as he noticed her bare
ankles. She didn’t look like a queen sitting there with her legs up
and her back against the recess. With her long hair left to hang
loose against her eve gown, she looked as innocent and naïve as the
world she was gazing upon. His protectiveness suddenly knew no
bounds as he gently coughed to make his presence known.

Rohesia looked up and noticed Ison
standing there, watching her, and she suddenly felt like a fool.
She cringed as she remembered her accusations and screams from
earlier, and the way she had told him she was with child. The way
he had held her, she thought warmly. That was something that she
would never forget.

“Hello my lord,” She addressed him,
the unexpected shyness hitting her with full force. He noticed her
cheeks going a full shade of red.

“Hello my lady, are you
well?”

She could only nod in response, for if
she said yes she knew that she would be lying. Ison nodded back,
not knowing what to say.

“My lord?”

“Yes Rohesia?” He urged gently and she
felt his warmth wash over her again.

“I apologise greatly for my actions
earlier, and meant nothing what was said.”

He moved forward uncomfortably, not
understanding this new awkwardness between them.

“You have nothing to apologise for, I
understand.”

“But the way I told you about,” She
stammered with fear of her own words. She was about to bring up the
subject of their babe and she was frightened of Ison’s acceptance
of it. “The way I told you about certain, things, and I do feel a
little better now.”

He knew she was referring to the babe
she carried, his child. He gently rested his hand on her arm and
she felt some of the fear ebb away.

“My lord, I miss you, in our bed,” She
said quickly, the heat of what she discussed being a mixture of
pleasure and humiliation. “I mean to rest. It has been too long
since I have seen you there.”

He felt a sudden tug at his loins as
the fire started up in him again. He had not been near her since
their wedding moon and the talk of sharing a bed with her, even
just to sleep, was enough to send him over the edge. He
effortlessly picked her up and put her on his lap as he sat in her
place.

His kiss was meant to be comforting as
he placed his lips upon hers, but the moment her softness touched
him he became undone. He started to pull away before he lost total
control but Rohesia pulled him back.

“Don’t stop Ison, don’t ever leave
me.”

Ison did stop as the plea in her words
hit him. He pulled her back to look at her.

“Rohesia,” He swallowed as the words
he was about to say stuck in this throat, forcing a manoeuvre on to
safer ground. “You are so strong where I am not.”

She tilted her head as if confused at
the statement.

“I mean,” He continued, quickly. “Here
now, you are allowing yourself to feel the grief and the pain so
that one day it will not affect you in a bad way. I was not that
strong when I heard of my mother’s death.”

She felt some of her own pain lighten
at his words.

“I am not strong Ison.”

“Yes you are, because you never fear
what is inside of you, you deal with it and I don’t. I am weak
ass.”

She laughed gently at this side of
him. He was human after all, she thought as she wrapped her arms
around his neck.

“You are not weak Ison, you are the
strongest man I have ever met,” She stroked his hair. “Do not take
that away from yourself.”

He looked at her then, with study. Her
eyes were not full of pity he noticed, something he would have
expected, but they were full of love. She was willing to accept
anything he was willing to give, and she was willing to give him
everything that she had. Ison heard the voices of Argarth and
Fabian hound him again and he was suddenly deafened by them. I vow
I will not hurt her, he shouted back in his mind. He would never
hurt her, and he would never leave her. Maybe he could just get
away with telling her that?

“Rohesia,” He said as she instantly
softened against him. “I will never leave you.”

“Then I will never be alone Ison, if I
have you around to shout at.”

He tickled her belly at her sarcastic
retort and suddenly remembered what he was tickling. He stopped
instantly.

“Rohesia about the babe,” He watched
as her hand suddenly went to her stomach. He placed his hands on
top of hers. “I am happy, and I hate the word heir.”

She smiled.

“I am happy too my lord, and I also
hate the word heir,” She hid the smile at her coming words.
“Especially seeing as it may be a girl who will have to marry a man
like you.”

“Not on your life will she be forced
to wed one like me, she will only have the best.”

“Then she will have to marry a man
like you.”

He felt the tingles of how she spoke
of him phase through his body to the tips of his toes, and straight
to another place entirely. He felt himself grow hard against
her.

“Would you like to go to bed my lady?”
His voice husky, preparing himself for the words of her not being
ready.

“I thought you would never ask.” She
replied, her own voice full of lust. Ison wasted no time to sweep
her up in his arms and on to their bed.

“Rohesia,” He whispered, the fear
sudden in him. “What about the babe?”

“As far as I am aware no harm will
come.”

“Are you certain?”

“Well, in some cultures they do
believe that having lots of relations help bring on the babe in the
latter part of the last cycle, as long as it is not done after the
barriers have been broken and flushed.”

Ison was sure that if it was possible,
he would have blushed for her. He laughed at the knowledge of which
she spoke.

“Where on Centurias did you learn all
of that?”

“Books and Nani, as a woman you are to
be prepared of every eventuality. It was the one subject I actually
had interest in.”

“I wonder why you little minx, I have
never heard the word ‘relations’ come from a ladies lips before,
let alone that of a princess,”

“I am an original.”

“You are that my lady, hence this
silly interest in me.”

“My interest in you is not silly.
Crazy, unexplainable, foolish, wild, but not silly.”

“You are going to get it good for that
remark,” He teased. “I have been without your touch for too long
and now you have to be punished.”