The Army Doctor's Christmas Baby (8 page)

Chapter Nine

Kelly put the turkey in the oven and started making the
stuffing, humming along to the Christmas carols on the radio. Childish giggles
and Sean's laughter kept pulling her gaze over her shoulder to where he played
with his daughters on the thick rug in front of the fire.

He lay on his back as the two little girls jumped on him,
squealing with excitement. Kelly wiped off her hands, grabbed her mobile phone,
and snapped a few pictures of the family fun.

It still hadn't quite sunk in that Sean wanted her to stay
on, to live with him. During the next week they could discuss the arrangements,
but not today. Christmas Day was a time for carefree fun. The children had the
right idea.

She and Sean had decided the girls should spread out opening
their presents over the day so they didn't get overexcited. After breakfast
they unwrapped a plastic play kitchen with an oven, sink, pans, and utensils.
They didn't really know what to do with it yet, but they enjoyed chewing on the
plastic vegetables and hitting Sean with the pans.

Sean left them playing in the large cardboard box the toy
had come in, and joined Kelly in the kitchen. "What can I do to
help?"

Kelly pointed at the potatoes. "Peel those if you like,
but you don't have to. I want you to enjoy yourself with the girls."

He stepped behind her, circled his arms around her waist,
and kissed her neck, making her go all tickly. "I want you to enjoy
yourself too. So let me help with lunch, then we can both relax."

They prepared the vegetables and trimmings, sipping glasses
of wine, and laughing together at the children's antics. For the first time in
her adult life, she was part of a family. Memories of her childhood swirled
back, of the happy times with her parents and sister. She rarely saw them now
they lived in Australia. Her mum and dad had emigrated to be near their
grandchildren after Kelly's sister, Joanne, married an Aussie.

Kelly had flown down to spend Christmas with them a few
years ago when she had leave from the army. The experience had been
uncomfortable, everyone handling her with kid gloves. Her family had changed
how they behaved around her once they knew she couldn't have children, as if
every mention of her nephew and nieces would upset her. That was partly why she
preferred not to tell people about her issue.

Thinking of her parents made Kelly pause and pull the mobile
phone from her jeans pocket. She scrolled through the numbers to find that of
her sister's place where her Mum and Dad would be on Christmas Day. Australia
was ten hours ahead of the UK, so if she intended to wish them Merry Christmas,
she needed to do it now.

"Going to make a call?" Sean asked.

"Yeah. I'll just speak to Mum and Dad quickly."

She wandered along the hall to the back door and stepped
outside as she dialed. Her sister, Joanne, answered.

"Hi, Jo. It's Kelly. Just called to say Merry
Christmas."

"Back at you, girl. It's great to hear from you. Why
didn't you fly out to see us? I thought you had leave this Christmas."

Guilt whispered through Kelly and she shoved it aside.
"I'm helping a friend look after his children."

"Is he good-looking?"

"Actually, yes."

"Then I forgive you. Mum's just come inside. She wants
a chat."

"Merry Christmas, Mum."

While Kelly talked to her mother, she kicked ice off the
step outside the back door, imagining her mum, dad and sister basking in the
Australian sun.

"Okay, well, I'd better go."

"Maybe we'll see you in the New Year," her mother
said hopefully.

"Maybe." As Kelly cut the connection, she sighed.
She was going to be far too busy to make a trip to the other side of the world.

As she wandered back to the living room ready to join the
girls to unwrap another present, the doorbell rang.

"I'll give you one guess who that is," Sean said.

"Your brother?"

Sean nodded.

"Did he talk to you about joining the army?"

"He called while I was at the hospital on Christmas
Eve. I don't know what he's decided, though." Sean lifted his eyebrows and
went to answer the door.

Daniel sauntered in grinning, a bag of presents in his hand.
He leaned over the kitchen island to kiss Kelly's cheek. "Merry Christmas.
Where are my lovely little nieces?" He spotted them playing and crouched
as they toddled towards him, both squealing with excitement. They obviously
knew who he was and liked him.

"Zoe and Belles, my Christmas babies. Uncle Dan has
presents for you. I know how much girls like presents."

"We're rationing presents," Sean said, following
his brother back.

"Rationing presents. That's not the Christmas spirit.
What a mean old daddy you have." He grinned at Sean as he put an arm
around each baby and nuzzled their cheeks until they giggled.

"So, are you joining us for lunch?" Kelly asked.

"If you'll have me. I'm persona non grata at home. I
told Dad I wanted to leave the practice yesterday evening." Daniel gave
Sean an apologetic smile. "He blames you for turning the head of this
gullible boy, by the way. He thinks you talked me into joining the army."

Sean shrugged and grabbed a wineglass from the cupboard.
"He hasn't spoken to me for months anyway. I called to speak to Mum
yesterday morning and he hung up on me. Want a glass of wine?"

"Why not. It started snowing as I arrived, so I won't
be driving home. A tiny sprinkling of snow and my car skids around like a
snowboard."

They all turned and stared out the wall of windows along the
river frontage. Fat snowflakes tumbled out of the sky to cover the decking in a
white fluffy coat.

Kelly picked Annabelle up and wandered to the window,
pointing up at the sky. "Do you see the white stuff falling? That's snow.
It's very cold but lots of fun to play with." Kelly unlatched the window
in front of her and scraped a bunch of fresh snow into her hand.

Annabelle stuck her fingers in the white mush, squealed, and
shoved a handful in her mouth. Zoe toddled over to join them and Kelly crouched
to show the other twin. Zoe touched the snow warily before wiping her hand on
her clothes.

***

After a sumptuous turkey dinner, the adults sat on the sofa
with the babies climbing across their laps, and handed out presents.

Kelly unwrapped a pretty heart-shaped pendant from Sean. He
fastened it around her neck and kissed her. "Sorry it's not very exciting.
I didn't have long to choose."

"It's beautiful." She had only bought him a
sweater, not knowing what else to get.

A little after four, the phone rang. Sean picked it up and
wandered to the window, staring out at the deepening snow.

"A boy! Congratulations. I'll tell Kelly. See you
soon."

Kelly rose, her heart thumping. "Alice has had her
baby?"

"Yes, this morning. Cam said we can go and visit if we
want."

"I'd love to."

"I'll babysit." Both girls were crawling over
Daniel with chocolate around their mouths. He didn't seem to mind and obviously
adored them.

"Right. That's settled then. You know where the clean
diapers are if you need them." Sean slapped his brother on the back with a
grin.

"Not going to happen, mate," Daniel answered. He
winked at Kelly as she kissed both babies before hurrying to put on her coat.

The snow was a few inches thick, but not a problem for the
SUV. By the time they arrived at the hospital, darkness had fallen.

Sean stopped in his private parking space close to the
entrance and they went up to the maternity level.

"Merry Christmas, sir," a nurse said.

"Happy holidays, Colonel Fabian." A young doctor
gave Sean a thumbs-up as he stepped out of the elevator.

Sean smiled politely and greeted his colleagues.

A nurse directed them to Alice's room. She sat propped up in
bed against some pillows, a tiny bundle in her arms.

"Oh, Alice." Tears pricked Kelly's eyes as she
rushed to the bedside and gazed down at the newborn's sweet little face.
"He's lovely."

"He's definitely a Knight. Look at all the dark
hair." Alice kissed the baby's fluffy topknot.

Cameron came in with a drink for Alice and put it on the
side table. "What do you think of Harry Knight?"

"He's adorable, Cam. Congratulations. I'm so happy for
you." She hugged her dear friend, poignant tears overflowing her eyes. She
was delighted to see him and Alice together with their new baby.

"Would you like to hold him?" Alice said.

"Oh, yes please, if you don't mind."

"I know how much you love babies. I remember when I
arrived at the field hospital with Sami. You were over the moon to take him off
my hands while I had my operation."

Alice held out her baby. Kelly lifted the tiny boy from her
arms, cradling him against her chest, her breath tight in her lungs. His little
eyes opened and he stared at her. "Hello, you darling boy."

Sean stepped close and wrapped his arm around her waist,
squeezing gently. "He looks like you, Cam," he said.

She imagined holding her own baby boy, one with blond hair
and blue eyes like the man at her side. Longing as sharp and painful as shards
of glass pierced her heart.

Sean had held his two girls as newborns and enjoyed this
stage of fatherhood. He had his family. By staying with him, she wasn't
depriving him of this. Her breath eased but the pain still stabbed her chest.
Whatever she told herself, she would give anything to have her own baby.

"Thank you for letting me hold him. He's a little
angel. You're very lucky." She passed tiny Harry Knight across to his
proud father and they chatted for a few minutes, then she and Sean left the new
parents in peace to enjoy their baby.

Sean gripped her hand as they crossed the marble and
stainless steel hospital foyer and stepped out into the chilly air. Flakes of snow
spiraled down from the dark sky, hitting her in the face as she angled her head
up.

They crunched across the icy car park and Sean opened the
SUV door for her to climb in. When he joined her, he turned up the heater to
warm the vehicle.

"You're quiet again, Kell. Something upsets you about
Alice's baby?"

"Gosh, no. I'm thrilled for them. I'm just a little
tired, that's all." She wasn't looking forward to telling Sean that she
couldn't have children. If they were in a relationship he deserved to know, but
not yet. She didn't want to spoil Christmas Day for them both.

Sean turned the radio to a channel playing Christmas songs
and drove off, humming along. "You know, I'd love to have a baby boy one
day, a brother for Zoe and Annabelle," he said thoughtfully.

Kelly froze. She gripped the seat belt, digging her nails in
the fabric as pain knotted her gut. She didn't want to deprive him of another
baby if he really wanted one, but he did have two girls. Why couldn't that be
enough?

She was so absorbed in her thoughts she didn't notice Sean
staring at her. "You're worrying me, Kell. Tell me what's the matter so I
can help."

The wipers swiped away snowflakes, beating rhythmically
while Bing Crosby crooned "White Christmas."

There was no gentle way to say this, no easing into the
subject. "I should have told you before. I can't have children."

"Are you sure? There're lots of treatments for
infertility these days."

"There's no treatment for a hysterectomy. I had
endometrial cancer when I was twenty-three."

"Aw hell, I'm sorry." Sean scraped a hand back
through his hair. He stopped at a road junction on a quiet country lane, leaned
over, and pulled her into his arms. "My poor love. Sorry if I sounded
insensitive. I should have thought before I spoke."

Nausea clenched Kelly's stomach. Was he going to make a big
thing out of this like her family had? Once people knew about her problem, they
treated her differently. "It's okay. You didn't know. It was a long time
ago. Let's just forget about it."

"Is there any risk of the cancer returning?"

Kelly wriggled out of his arms and sat back to get some
space. "No. Can we leave the subject alone? It's not really something I
want to discuss at Christmas. Today's supposed to be relaxing."

"Okay." His troubled gaze lingered on her face and
she stared out the windshield, willing him to drive on.

"Look, my comment about wanting another baby was just a
throwaway thought after seeing Cameron's son. I'm happy with my two girls,
honestly."

The sick tension in her belly tightened. Was he only saying
that because he now knew her medical history or did he really mean it?

He grasped her clenched fingers in her lap and stroked
gently. "We'll say no more about it if you like."

"Thanks." Tension crawled up her back and gripped
the muscles in her neck until her head ached. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you
before."

"It's not an issue. Honestly." He rubbed a hand
over his face. "Okay, well, I guess we'd better get home before my brother
is forced to change a diaper." Sean drove on, the only sound the slashing
windshield wipers.

Chapter Ten

Sean was losing Kelly and he didn't know what to do about
it.

With a sinking sense of loss, he played with his babies on
the sofa in the sitting room, helping them sort pictures of animals on the
coffee table. Even though he chatted to them, most of his attention remained
focused on Kelly as she prepared the children's lunch in the kitchen area.

Everything had gone wrong on the drive home from visiting
Alice and the baby. After Kelly told him about her cancer and hysterectomy, she
had transformed into a different woman.

She wouldn't discuss the subject and grew defensive and
prickly when he mentioned it. He was worried about her, but she had shut him
out. Every day she seemed to withdraw further into herself, tensing when he
touched her. She'd even changed how she behaved with the children.

The happy, easy-going woman he knew had disappeared. He
wouldn't have believed it possible if he hadn't seen it with his own eyes. The
final straw came yesterday when she caught him researching endometrial cancer.
She had been furious and retreated to her bedroom, slamming the door.

He walked on eggshells around her now, never knowing when he
opened his mouth if she would take offense.

She obviously hadn't come to terms with the past. But if she
wouldn't talk about it, what could he do? He only wanted to help her. He loved
her.

"The girls' lunch is ready," she called.

He dragged himself out of his miserable thoughts. "Come
on, you two. Time to fill those tummies."

Sean pasted on a smile and led his daughters by their hands
through to the table. He lifted them into their high chairs one at a time before
fastening the safety straps.

Kelly put a bowl of chicken and vegetables in front of each
girl, then sat between them with a wet cloth, ready to wipe faces and hands.

"We'll eat shortly," she said. "Our sausage
pie is still in the oven."

"Sounds great." Sean bent to kiss the top of her
head. She tensed and didn't turn to put her arms around him as she used to. Her
ramrod spine sent out a clear message—go away and leave me alone.

He gripped the back of his neck, at a loss to know how to
mend things between them. "Are you all right, Kell?"

Her breath hissed in and she cast him a narrow-eyed glare.
"Will you please stop asking me that or I'll go crazy. Yes. I'm all right.
Okay?"

"Okay." Sean had to get out of there and think. He
took the stairs two at a time, and shut himself in his bedroom. Wrenching open
the glass door, he stepped out on the balcony and paced back and forth. He drew
in long draughts of cold air to calm his raging emotions and clear his head.

He didn't have enough experience with women to know how to
handle this, but his brother did. Daniel had a new girlfriend every few weeks.
Sean stepped back inside, grabbed his mobile phone from the nightstand, and
scrolled through his contacts.

"Yo, Sean. How are you, mate?" Daniel answered.

"I've been better."

"Kelly?"

"Yep."

Daniel had witnessed the meltdown in Sean's relationship
with Kelly the day after Christmas and made a hasty exit. "Kell seems so
easygoing. I thought your tiff would have blown over by now."

"It hasn't. She didn't even come to bed with me last
night. She had a headache." It hurt that she'd rather sleep alone than be
with him. If she felt bad, he was happy just to cuddle and look after her.

"Buy her a present, the more expensive the better.
Jewelry usually does the trick for me."

Sean closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. He
should have realized the women Daniel dated were as shallow as puddles and
nothing like Kelly. "I don't think something sparkly is going to fix
this."

He could almost hear Daniel's shrug. "I like Kell, but
no woman's worth this much hassle. Plenty more fish in the sea."

"Yeah. Thanks." For nothing. Sean cut the
connection and rested his hands on the balcony railing, staring at the meltwater
rushing past in the river below.

An expensive bauble would not win Kelly over. He needed
something to pierce that damn wall she'd thrown up around herself to keep him
out, something to make her understand he loved her and cared for her.

Then an idea occurred to him. There was one piece of jewelry
that was bound to get through to her. His heart pounded at the scary prospect
of making a commitment he had vowed never to repeat. But it was the only way to
show Kelly how much he loved her. It didn't matter if she couldn't have
children. He wanted to be with her. He'd do whatever it took to make sure she
felt loved and appreciated, just as she was.

***

Sean wandered back into the kitchen as Kelly was taking the
sausage pie out of the oven. She glanced at him, trying to gauge his mood. The
anxious air of concern in his eyes made her grit her teeth. Why couldn't he
forget about her cancer and treat her like he had before? This was exactly what
had happened when she told her family—they fussed and tried to wrap her in
cotton wool.

"Lunch will be on the table in a moment," she
said, aiming for a light, breezy tone.

"I'm not really hungry yet. I'll run out for a while
and have something to eat when I come back."

Kelly's gaze jumped from the plates she had pulled from the
warmer to Sean's face. "Where are you going?"

"Just into Oxford."

She waited for him to elaborate but he didn't.
"Okay."

"See you later." He dropped a kiss on her cheek,
said good-bye to the children, and headed out.

Kelly stared after him, her heart drumming. Why had he been
so mysterious? Was he going out to get away from her? She'd noticed he'd spent
less time with her since her revelation.

Maybe he'd had a rethink and decided he did want another
baby. Perhaps she should do the decent thing and walk away like she had with
Cameron, give Sean the opportunity to meet someone else who could have
children.

Her relationship with Sean wasn't going to work out. She
couldn't handle the way he fussed over her all the time. It was best if she
went back to her original plan.

The charity job was still available. They were always short
of qualified nurses with overseas experience. She would get tremendous
satisfaction and fulfillment from working with the poor needy children in
Somalia.

Kelly sat at the table alone and ate her sausage pie one
slow mouthful at a time, the food tasting like sawdust. After struggling
through half of it, she tossed the rest in the trash.

She carried the babies upstairs, then changed their diapers.
Annabelle struggled and cried as Kelly laid her on the changing table. Even the
children had become difficult over the last few days. They must be reacting to
their father's strange mood.

A sigh wrenched from Kelly's chest as she finished with the
fussy baby and changed Zoe. She'd felt as though she belonged here, yet after
she told Sean her medical history, the happy family atmosphere had melted away
with the snow. This was the last time she would ever tell anyone about her
cancer and hysterectomy.

She fetched her laptop from her bedroom, sat cross-legged on
the floor beside the babies, and fired off an e-mail to her contact at the
charity. They were going to think she was schizophrenic; first she wanted to
work overseas, then she didn't, now she did again.

The front door opened downstairs. Sean was back. Her heart
leaped as excitement raced along her nerves, her instincts still not caught up
with the change in their relationship. With a groan, she dropped her head in
her hands. All she wanted to do was cry; instead she had to put on a brave face
until she could leave.

"Kelly."

"In the nursery," she called back. "I'll be
down in a moment." He probably wanted his lunch now.

Kelly shut her laptop, pushed herself up from the floor, and
began the long task of helping the girls downstairs. They backed down on all
fours so they didn't fall.

By the time they reached the kitchen, Sean had nearly
finished the sausage pie she left on the counter for him. "Don't you want
me to heat it up?"

"I popped it in the microwave."

"Oh. Right."

"This is tasty. A nice change from turkey
leftovers."

"The turkey did seem to go on forever, didn't it?"

"Yep. We'll get a smaller one next year."

His words sent a jolt of hope through her. Was that just a
turn of phrase, or did he really believe she would still be here next
Christmas?

For the first time in a couple of days, she relaxed with
Sean and smiled. He grinned back, the dimples she so loved appearing in his
cheeks. She reached up and touched one, laughing when he grabbed her fingers
and kissed them.

"Let's take the girls for a walk. It's nice outside,
cold but clear and fresh."

"Okay, sounds good." They hadn't been out anywhere
since the fateful trip to the hospital to see Alice and the baby.

Sean dashed upstairs, returning a few minutes later with the
girls' all-in-one winter suits. He dressed Zoe while Kelly helped Annabelle
suit up for the cold.

They carried the babies to the utility room and put them in
their stroller before donning their own coats, scarves, and hats.

The crisp chill stung Kelly's cheeks as she stepped out of
the warm house. The fresh air cleared her head and sharpened her thoughts.
Birds swooped across the pale blue winter sky, and dead leaves fluttered on the
ground as they set off along the riverside footpath.

"I needed to blow away the cobwebs," Sean said.

"Me too." Kelly walked on her own for a little
while, then slipped her arm through Sean's as he pushed the stroller. He smiled
at her, looking more like the man she had fallen in love with.

Then he had to spoil it. "Why did everything go wrong
between us on Christmas Day?"

"Did it?"

"Come on, Kell. You know it did."

"Okay." She chewed her lip, not wanting to answer.
Yet what did she have to lose? "One of the reasons I put off telling you
about my hysterectomy was because I knew it would change how you treat me. I
was right."

Sean's eyebrows rose. "I'm not the one who changed, you
are. You've shut me out. I care about you, love. I want to be there for you,
yet you won't talk to me."

Kelly pulled back her arm and halted. "I don't need any
special treatment. Just treat me the same way you did before my
confession."

"If you behaved how you used to, I could do that."

Kelly huffed with frustration. He was just like her family.

Sean parked the stroller beside a wooden bench and snapped
on the brake. The babies were both asleep, huddled in their warm winter suits.

"Will you sit with me for a moment?"

Kelly plopped down on the bench, her shoulders aching with
tension.

"I have a present for you."

"You've already given me something for Christmas."

"I know. This is an extra present. A special one."

He pulled a small box from his coat pocket wrapped in gold
and tied with a gauzy silver ribbon.

Kelly's heart fluttered and leaped, her gaze rising from the
gift to his face. He smiled, the warm affection in his blue eyes calming her
fears like a soothing hand.

With a racing pulse, she took the gift and pulled away the
paper to reveal a red velvet box. "More jewelry?" She cast a
questioning glance his way.

"Open it and find out."

She raised the box lid to reveal a huge solitaire diamond
ring. Her fluttering heart nearly burst from her chest. She pressed a hand over
her ribs, struggling to draw breath.

"Is this a…"

"An engagement ring. Yes. It's the only way I could
think of to prove I love you. You can shut me out and push me away all you
like, but I'm not giving up on you. I don't want to lose you, Kell."

Tears pricked Kelly's eyes and stung her nose. She pressed
her lips together tightly until the need to cry receded. Sean pulled off his
glove and curved a warm palm around her cheek.

"Will you marry me, Kelly? Be my wife and mother to Zoe
and Annabelle. We all love you and want you to stay with us."

Tears overflowed her lashes and ran down her cheeks. "I
thought you didn't want me anymore."

He grunted with frustration and pulled her into his arms.
"Of course I want you. I wish I'd never made that stupid comment about
another baby. I want
you
, Kelly Grace. If down the line we decide we'd
like another child, we can always adopt."

"You told me you wouldn't get married again."
Kelly's words tumbled out in a blubbering muddle with her tears.

"I'm allowed to change my mind, aren't I?"

"Yes."

"Good." He stroked the hair away from her face
where it was sticking to her wet cheeks. "You haven't answered me
yet."

"Yes. I want to marry you."

"Wonderful." Sean dragged her onto his lap and rocked
her, kissing away her tears. Kelly kissed him back, passion and desire flaring
inside her. How she adored this kind, loving man who was willing to accept her
with all her faults.

He knew her deepest, darkest secret, yet he still wanted
her. Relief seared along her nerves and set her pulse racing as she curled
against him. Framing his dear face between her hands, she smothered him in tiny
kisses, making him laugh.

For so long she had dreamed of having her own children and
he was giving her that dream. She would be the happiest wife and mother in the
world with two adorable little daughters and the handsomest husband ever.