The Apprentice (41 page)

Chapter 39
                     
 

Rowan stood in the darkness,
waiting. He had been waiting for quite some time, and he was beginning to grow
apprehensive. He couldn’t be sure that she would come. Even if she wanted to,
she might be unable to escape.

He had
come back to the woods often throughout the past week to check on his note, and
one day he had found it missing. He naturally assumed that Eliza had found it.
After that, he had only to wait.

And Rowan
had waited. He had waited until the end of the week, when he made his way to
the woods under cover of night. But he had found nothing waiting for him, and
no one came. It had been a wasted night.

Now he
found himself waiting again after another long week, anxious as he stood in the
silent darkness.
Perhaps she isn’t coming.
Rowan thought.
Perhaps
something happened to the note.
But Rowan dismissed the troubling thought.
It was one of the reasons that he did not like this method of contact. His note
could fall into the wrong hands and he did not like to think of the
consequences if the king learned of Rowan’s meetings with the princess. That
they met was not very troublesome, but that they met alone was something which
would be misconstrued. And it would reveal that Rowan had made the princess a
sword and was teaching her to use it against the king’s wishes.

The snap
of a twig broke Rowan from his reverie. He moved quickly to hide himself in the
shadow of a tree. It would not be good if he was caught outside of the
barracks. He had no excuse ready for why he was so deep in the kingswood so
late at night.

A small,
wiry form emerged into the clearing. A curse sounded quietly, and in the
silence of the night the whisper carried far.

Rowan
stepped out of the shadows to greet Eliza, who jumped at the sound of his
voice.

“I wish
you would not do that. You appear out of nowhere, just like Baird does. It
scares me close to fainting.”

Rowan
chuckled, earning a glare from the young princess. Apparently she was not as amused
as him. “It is good to know that I have been able to pick up at least some of
Baird’s skills. I try quite hard.”

“It has
been a while since I have seen you,” she said.

“It
has,” Rowan agreed. “That is one of the reasons that I left you a note. We haven’t
seen each other and I…” He meant to tell her about his training with Baird, how
it meant that he would not be able to continue meeting with her. That things
would have to change. That he would only be able to see her officially, in the
company of his master or her guardians, where they could not be Rowan and
Eliza, but instead must abide by the necessary social practices and interact
only as princess and apprentice. Rowan could not find the words.

“I hope
you do not expect us to practice swords tonight,” Eliza said jokingly. When he
did not respond, she continued to talk, trying to force their usual banter “I
hope that you do not want to start meeting at night. I am quite tired and this
midnight escapade will not agree with me tomorrow. A princess must sleep well
to maintain her beauty.” She laughed at herself as she spoke, a soft laugh that
rang beautifully throughout the silent night, but for a moment Rowan saw a hint
of sadness. Perhaps deep down, the princess already had an idea of what their
futures held.

Rowan
smiled softly, but it was not a smile of joy.

“No. We
will not be practicing tonight. I’ll let you off easy. Besides, I fear the
noise would wake someone, and we do not want that to happen. Not when the both
of us are supposed to be asleep and one of us is forbidden by no less than the
king from using weaponry.”

Eliza
giggled. “Perhaps our imaginary discoverer would assume that you kidnapped me.
I would be free from any punishment at all.”

“With
calluses on your royal hands? I am quite sure that Baird and the king would not
be fooled.”

“I
suppose. Baird is observant and my father can be quite strict when it is
necessary.”

They
both laughed. It was plain that Rowan was the one who took the real risk by
teaching Eliza how to use a sword. They both knew and yet it was something that
had never been spoken aloud.

They
remained quiet for a while, enjoying the night air and the atmosphere of the
forest. The solitude of the woods and the silence of the night created a world
that was shared between the two of them. Rowan alternated between looking at
the dark shapes around him and glancing towards the princess. An exposed piece
of the night sky above allowed barely enough dim light to see by, and in the
darkness her blonde curls stood out to his eyes. The princess looked in his
direction once, but she did not catch his gaze.

“It has
been fun keeping company with you. Practicing together and learning. I enjoy
our time together.”

“I as
well,” Rowan agreed.

Neither
looked at the other, though their eyes had long since adjusted to the darkness.

“I like
this. I like what we have together, Rowan. I do not feel like a princess around
you, I just feel like a person. Like a friend.”

“Yes.
Like a friend.” There was so much more that Rowan wanted to say, but the moment
was fragile and the wrong words now would shatter it, changing things forever.

“I
suppose I cannot pretend to hate you anymore. I never truly did. It was mean,
but I was jealous that you were going to have Baird to yourself, that you were
free to do all of the things that I never could, yet always wanted to.”

Silence.

“I
cannot meet with you anymore.”

Eliza’s
words were little more than a whisper, as though if Rowan failed to hear them
then they wouldn’t have to be true. But Rowan heard her as clearly as if she
had screamed them at him.

“I
know.”

Silence
crept in, but it was no longer the same. This was not the comfortable silence
they were used to sharing. This was awkward and intrusive. Rowan felt the need
to say more, to fill the silence, but words failed him.

“I think
someone found out that I was sneaking away from Gizelle while she was watching
over me. They don’t know that I have been meeting with you. It is assumed that
I was just up to my usual mischief. I have a new caretaker now, and I have been
assigned a royal guard as well. Baird told my father that he will not be able
to watch over me as often because his time has been filled with things that he
would not speak of while I could hear. He suggested that since I am old enough
to be coming into my inheritance and will be of an age for marriage soon, I am
old enough to have a royal guard.” Rowan could hear her voice beginning to
choke, but Eliza held back her sobs.

“I think
that may be for the best,” Rowan said. It was an obvious lie. Neither of them wanted
to end their time together. Rowan felt as though their whole friendship was
ending. How could their relationship ever be the same if they could not meet in
private? “I, too, will not be able to continue our meetings. Baird has decided
to resume our lessons. He is making an effort to keep me busy, to keep me
occupied. I could try to skip my training, but if you cannot come then I will
have no reason to do so.” He paused and forced himself to look the princess in
the eyes. “If there were any other way,” he whispered, “I would take it.”

“As
would I,” Eliza said. “I will miss this. I never would have expected things
with you to end up like this. Not when I first met you.”

Rowan
nodded, then voiced his agreement when he realized that Eliza was not looking at
him. He remembered when he had first met her. She had seemed little more than a
spoiled princess who went out of her way to make his life difficult.

“I
suppose we have Baird to thank for our companionship. He was the object of our
opposition, but ultimately he brought us together.”

Rowan
also pictured the moment that she had helped him that night during the Revel.
That had been the moment that he had been willing to trust her, and that act
had ultimately led him here.

They
talked for a while, choosing to spend the time enjoying the company of each
other. When the conversation turned to silence, they were content. It was
likely the last chance they would have to share a private moment together, and
it was stretched as long as possible. They kept company until long past the
time when Rowan should have returned to the barracks.

“What
will I do with the sword that you made me?” Eliza asked when at last it was
time to leave. Rowan smiled at that, happy that she valued his gift enough to
worry.

“I think
it would be best for you to leave that where it is. It would be bad if someone
were to discover it, and it can withstand the elements well enough. This way it
will always be here for you if you ever have need of it.”

“I
suppose. It just seems such a waste to hide something so…precious.” Rowan
thought he saw the princess blush, but in the darkness her fair skin held
little color.

“Do not
worry, Princess, I will always be here for you.”

Eliza
turned towards him and held his gaze. “I will hold you to that oath, Rowan. No
matter what the future holds, I expect you to rise and take Baird’s place one
day. If I am to be a queen, then you…” There was a moment’s pause. “You will be
there to serve me as you are needed.”

He gave
her his word, though not entirely sure what obligations he was now bound to.
But he spoke the words regardless, knowing Eliza needed to hear them.

The
moment over, Rowan urged Eliza to practice the forms that he drew for her in
the book. She could do that alone. She should try practicing with sticks or heavy
objects to know the weight of a real sword, he told her.

“I
suppose.”

For a
moment, Rowan thought that Eliza was going to say something more, but she
remained silent.

As the
silence dragged on, Rowan knew that it was time for him to leave. Every fiber
of his being rejected the knowledge, urging him to stay regardless of the
consequences. But he knew that he had risked too much already.

“I have
to go,” he said. He stood and turned around to help the princess up as well.
She squeezed his hand tightly and he pulled her to her feet and did not let go
when she stood.

“Farewell,”
she whispered. Before he could react, Eliza stood on her toes, pulled Rowan
into a tight embrace, and kissed him.

It was
quick, merely a fleeting moment, but it seemed to last a lifetime. Before Rowan
could speak, she hurried off into the darkness and disappeared.

Rowan
stood stunned, listening to the fading sounds of Eliza’s retreat. She had grown
much better at moving quietly throughout the woods, and Rowan quickly lost all
sense of her presence. She was gone and he stood alone in the darkness.

It was a
while before he could bring himself to leave. His thoughts were confused and he
did not know what to feel anymore. His sadness and sense of loss was mixed with
an overwhelming pleasure. But it was a pleasure he doubted that he could ever
experience again, reminding him of what could not be.

Chapter 40
                     
 

Life went on much as it had before.
Rowan attended his practice alongside the other boys and continued his training
with Baird. But he could not find the will to focus or apply himself as he once
had. He felt disconnected from everything. His time was constantly occupied,
yet he found the hours, the days, passing by in a blur, unfulfilled and empty.
He was not entirely bereft of enjoyment. He was often able to spar with Baird,
and he had extra time to spend with his friends. He could once again eat a meal
without rushing. But he no longer had something to look forward to that would
disrupt everything else and offer him a reprieve, a chance to be himself and to
be in the company of someone different.

The
change in his attitude must have shown because other boys asked if he was
alright. Darius pulled him aside after a sloppy match with one of the younger
boys. The head trainer seemed to look at him strangely, yet Darius gave him no
punishment and asked for no explanation, he only told Rowan that much was
expected of him.

Rowan
did not speak other than to assure people that he was fine, if only a bit
tired. After a good night’s rest he would be better, he said. It was only a
half lie. Rowan was indeed tired and was not sleeping well. But rest would not
help.

Even
Baird knew that something was wrong with Rowan. Almost as soon as Rowan met
with his master the evening after he spoke with Princess Eliza, Baird seemed to
notice his mood. Rowan could see it in the way that his master looked at him.
It was a look akin to pity, perhaps empathy. He could not tell for certain. It
was difficult to read Baird’s emotions. There was a sense of understanding,
though. Rowan was a half an hour late for their training session, but Baird
said nothing, which was an unusual gesture for him. He gave no reprimand and
asked for no explanation, he only requested that it not happen again.

Baird
knew him well enough that he did not have to ask what was wrong, and Rowan did
not have to lie.

Baird
didn’t press for details, instead he pressed Rowan to work harder and allowed
him to lose himself in the lesson. They quit almost an hour earlier than usual.

“Why are
we ending so early?” Rowan asked. He wondered if Baird had other things to
attend to. Eliza had her royal guard, so he knew it wasn’t that.

Baird
simply gave Rowan a look and told him to cool down and go eat some dinner. To
enjoy the night.

Rowan
couldn’t complain, but he didn’t want to be left with nothing to do and he
didn’t feel like going back to the barracks.

“Can I
just shadow you instead?”

Baird
shrugged.

“I
suppose so. For the first night in quite a while I am actually free, so I don’t
see the harm in having some company. I would have preferred some feminine
companionship, but you’ll have to do.”

Rowan
laughed. He hadn’t heard Baird speak like this since they had been travelling
together on the road. That seemed like a different time, and they had been
different people then.

Rowan
accompanied Baird to the open air baths that were connected to the castle. The
water came from a natural hot springs and felt great in the cold autumn air.

Not much
was said between the two. They made some small talk but did not force the
conversation. Rowan took a moment to look at his master and he realized that
Baird looked strained. It was a wonder he hadn’t noticed before. But then
again, Rowan had been wrapped in the problems of his own life. He had been
blind to the possibility that Baird faced problems, and he felt guilty.

His
master’s face was relaxed in the warmth of the steaming baths, but there were
bags under his eyes and his posture sagged.

Rowan
turned his gaze away and focused inwards. He willed himself to relax, trying to
purge all thoughts from his mind. He calmed himself and enjoyed the bath for a
short while before he accompanied Baird to the kitchens for a small dinner.

When the
time came, they parted ways and Rowan headed back to the barracks. He was glad
for the opportunity to have been with Baird for a short while. His master’s
presence had been welcome.

Back at
the barracks, Rowan slept. He was surrounded by people and yet he felt more
alone than he had since Baird exiled him here after arriving in the capitol.