The Apartment: The Complete Affair (31 page)

Lily couldn’t help but think that “garish” and “outlandish” had been understatements.

“That’s your idea of sexy-flirty?” Maggie scoffed, bringing Lily’s attention back to her visitors.

Glancing down quickly at her faded jeans and bulky sweater, she couldn’t help but shrug in response. “I don’t know… I don’t have much in the way of flirty. And why are you so early, anyway? It’s not even seven yet.”

“It’s an ambush, Lily. You remember my sister-in-law Emma, don’t you?”

“Yes, of course. It’s nice to see you again.”

“Same here!” Emma practically chirped with excitement. She was so visibly worked up that she was nearly jumping out of her skin. “Now step aside and show me to your closet.”

“I beg your pardon?” Lily couldn’t understand if it was a joke or if Emma was actually tweaking on something and looking for an excuse to raid her medicine cabinet.

“Maggie thought you might need a little help getting ready since you felt a little weird about hanging out, and I can see that she was right. We came early to get you sorted out.” And with that Emma was gone, blowing past Lily through the door and already making her own way up the stairs toward her bedroom.

Lily was left standing dumbfounded, not quite sure what had just happened, while Maggie patted her shoulder reassuringly. “Don’t worry, sweetie. It happens to the best of us. Emma is like a force of nature, and it’s best to just stay out of her way. Now let’s go up and see what the hell she’s up to.”

“But what about the guys?” Lily asked, gesturing to the two men in the horrendous SUV. One of them she quickly recognized as Eric, but she was fairly certain that she’d never seen the dark-haired man sitting behind the wheel.

“Believe me, this won’t take long.” Maggie glided right past her through the open door, a bit more gracefully than her speed-freak sidekick, grabbing Lily’s hand along the way. When they reached her bedroom at the top of the stairs, it was to find Emma already rifling through her drawers.

“What the hell?” Lily snapped. “Ever hear of respecting someone’s privacy?”

“I’m sorry about her,” Maggie said from behind her. “Just think of her as your own personal Tim Gunn.”

“Christ, Lily,” the subject in question growled as she slammed another drawer shut, heading to the closet. “Do you own anything other than Flight of the Conchords t-shirts and scrubs?”

“Well, no, not really. I guess I don’t get out much.”

“Don’t you own any skirts?”

“I’m more of a blue jeans kind of girl.”

Lily quickly got over her irritation with the privacy-invader, standing back in awe as she watched her move with lightning speed. She was ripping through the hangers aggressively, clearly a woman on a mission, when suddenly she let out a loud “Aha!” Turning to look at them triumphantly, she held up a hanger high above her head. “No skirts, huh? Just what do you call this?”

Lily’s mouth dropped open when she saw what was in her hand. “Uh, I call that a Halloween costume.” She flashed back to the night five years ago when her roommates had dared her to dress as a slutty cheerleader and groaned. The tiny black skirt dangled on the hanger, somehow mocking her.

“Well it just looks like a mini skirt.”

“No way.” Lily started shaking her head vehemently. “Nooooo way.”

“But knife pleats this cute never go out of style!” Emma marched toward her like a drill sergeant. “Put it on. Now.” When it looked like Lily might possibly cave, she went in for the kill. “Just try it on for now. Let’s see how it looks while I try to find a top that will work with it.” A victorious light flashed in her eyes when her Lily took the bait, feeling like prey. Clearly, Emma had no intention of letting her take it off.

As Lily begrudgingly changed into the skirt, Emma returned to the closet. In the very back, price tags still attached, hung a dark teal silk top with a drooped boat neck and short sleeves that split at the shoulders and dangled loosely at the sides.

“Hallelujah!” Emma cried, grabbing the hanger and turning back to face her audience once again. “Why the hell have you never worn this? It’s adorable.”

“That thing?” Lily groaned. “My mother sent that to me two Christmases ago. She said it was for me to go clubbing in.” She couldn’t stop from rolling her eyes. “I didn’t have the heart to tell her that it was nowhere near my style and that there isn’t a club around for about a forty-mile radius. I don’t exactly hit The District in Rock Island every night.”

“Well it’s your style tonight.” Emma nodded sharply. “Put it on. It looks like it’s probably the only form-fitting thing you own. Why do you have so much baggy stuff? Are you afraid of your boobies?”

Maggie chuckled while Lily simply shrugged. “I don’t know,” she replied. “I’ve just never been big on displaying them. I like a guy to look me in my eyes first, I guess.”

“Boobs are the best accessory a woman owns,” Emma explained as she tore off the tags and handed the top to her. “Men are visual creatures. You need something to capture their eyes before they even bother thinking about looking into yours. It doesn’t matter what size they are and they don’t need to be hanging out, it just needs to be clear that you have them.”

Once the outfit was in place and her guests
oohed
and
ahhed
over how she looked, Lily was told to sit down at her desk while Emma threw her hair up in a high ponytail. She was informed that it would look best for her to show off her neck and collarbone and there was no time for a haircut. After adding some larger earrings and a bit more eye makeup, they were ready to go.

The entire ordeal took less than twenty minutes.

When they climbed into the ridiculously large vehicle outside, Lily was formally introduced to their escorts for the night. Eric shook her hand, giving her an appreciative once-over before flashing the largest set of dimples she had ever seen in her life.

“So this is the Lily I’ve been hearing so much about,” he said. “I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to thank you at the hospital last week for helping Maggie.”

“No problem, really. It was my pleasure.”

“Well, thanks anyway. I was happy someone was with her.” His smile dimmed slightly as he remembered the day’s events, but he composed himself quickly and gestured to the man behind the wheel. “This right here is my sister Emma’s much better half. Say hello to the lovely lady, Brandon.”

Brandon looked up into the rearview mirror, meeting Lily’s gaze in the reflection. She could tell from the crinkling around his eyes that he was smiling.

“Nice to meet you, Lily.”

“You too,” she nodded. As the bright yellow behemoth rumbled to life and pulled away from the curb, Lily couldn’t resist laughing. “I must say, Brandon, this is some truck.”

“Why thank you, but it’s not mine. It’s actually Emma’s.”

“Really?” Lily laughed louder, looking at the woman in question.

“Mmhmm,” she nodded happily. “It’s my baby! I used to have a little sports car, but there was just no room in it. After a year of driving in Chicago traffic, I opted to go for size rather than speed. Now if someone won’t get out of my way, I just drive over them!”

The group talked easily on the way to the bar and Lily was surprised at how comfortable she already felt with them. They joked and teased each other the way that only people who had known each other for years seemed to be able to do, but they never once made her feel left out. By the time Brandon had managed to find a parking space big enough for their massive school bus, Lily was feeling right at home.

* * *

Two hours later, they were all well on their way to being two beers past tipsy.

Maggie hadn’t been kidding when she said they made complete asses out of themselves. All night long they had been taking turns with the other locals, singing cheesy, rude, borderline offensive songs that had kept Lily laughing so hard that her sides hurt. When Eric and Brandon got up to share the spotlight again and broke into an obviously practiced routine during
Hoochie Mama
by 2 Live Crew, she had to fight hard not to spit her beer on the table.

Eric would yell a line and Brandon would jump out from behind him and shout the chorus. By the middle of the song, Maggie and Emma had begun booty dancing behind them and Lily had needed to make a beeline for the restroom after laughing so hard she nearly peed herself.

When that was done, their husbands took their seats and the girls stayed up there to perform a rousing rendition of
Shoop
by Salt-n-Pepa. Maggie really got into it, circling Eric’s chair as she propositioned him through song, finally sitting on his lap and handing him the mic when it was time for the male solo. Lily realized that they must have done this one a lot, since he didn’t even need to get up and look at the lyrics.

It didn’t stop there; the boys jumped back up and did some Beastie Boys followed immediately by Tenacious D. Lily had no idea if anyone else in the bar even wanted to sing anymore after that; they all sort of sat there hypnotized as the Fosters got more creative.

Another round of beers later, everyone started hounding Lily to get up on stage. She kept waving them off and blushing, but Eric sealed her fate when he yelled, “C’mon, Blake! What are you, a big scaredy cat?”

Throwing back the last of her drink, she glared at him coolly as she walked up and gave her request to the DJ. She hadn’t ever done the song she was thinking of in front of anyone before, but it was one of her favorites by Liz Phair, and she knew that the ridiculous lyrics would make Eric eat his words and prove that she wasn’t too scared to embarrass herself. She looked around the room nervously one last time as the music kicked in, and after taking a deep breath she opened her mouth and gave it her best shot.

When Lily finally finished the song about a woman begging for her man’s semen due to its cosmetic properties, every man in the bar stood up and applauded, some of them even whistling and blowing kisses at her. All four of her companions stared at her with their mouths hanging wide open for a good thirty seconds before screaming and clapping loudly.

“Damn, Blake!” Eric laughed, pounding her on the back when she sat down. “You are fuckin’
made
! Far as I’m concerned, you’re an honorary Foster from now on!” Lily simply smiled and fought back another blush, but she was surprised by how much his words affected her. She hadn’t felt that accepted in…well, ever.

It wasn’t until later, when Eric and Brandon were teaching everyone
The Humpty Dance
, that Maggie finally voiced the question that had been knocking around her mind all night.

“Lily, are you single?”

Emma overheard and perked up like a prairie dog, speed-slurring an interruption. “Oh my God, Maggie, I know exactly what you’re thinking!”

“Why do you ask?” Lily hedged, suddenly feeling a chill. She glanced down at her now-bare ring finger, thinking of the engagement ring hidden away in her desk drawer until she could give it back to Scott properly.

“Well, it’s just that we’ve never really talked about your life much, and I’ve never thought to ask before. Besides,” she glanced between her and an eagerly nodding Emma. “I think you should meet my brother-in-law. It might be a bit soon because he recently got out of a bad relationship, but something tells me that he would really enjoy meeting you.”

“Oh, no,” Lily replied quickly, shaking her head. “No, no, no, no. Thank you so much for thinking of me, but I’m really not the best person to consider for that right now.”

“Why?” Emma piped up, her gossip detector going off.

Lily looked back and forth between them both before promptly bursting into tears. She had always gotten overly emotional when she drank, and the combination of the guilt that she was feeling mixed with the sweetness of Maggie’s suggestion was more than she could take.

“Oh my God, what’s wrong?” Maggie leaned in, stroking her back reassuringly. When Lily let out another loud sob, she began to get concerned. “Sweetie, whatever’s bothering you, you’ve got to let it out.”

“I… I’m…” Lily paused to wipe her eyes before looking up at her new friend. “I’m supposed to be engaged.”

“What do you mean, ‘supposed to be’?” Emma probed, causing Maggie to wave her question away in dismissal. She could tell that Lily would need to be coaxed gently rather than forced to answer any questions.

“Don’t listen to her, Lily. She’s just nosy. You take your time and just tell me what you think you can when you’re ready.”

“I’m supposed to be, but I don’t want to be,” Lily whispered. “He’s such a sweet boy, he really is. He’s always been very kind to me. I love him, but not like I should.” She paused to look at the two women, one with the face of a spectator, the other with a look of understanding. “I thought I did,” she cried. “I thought I had everything I needed to be happy in life—or at least as close as I’d ever get.”

Maggie gently patted her hand. “And then you met someone, didn’t you?”

“How did you know?” Lily asked. Emma simply shifted her eyes back and forth between them as if she was watching a gripping tennis match, loudly slurping her mixed drink through a straw.

“I don’t know how I didn’t put it together earlier tonight, honestly. You seem different lately. More alive, if that makes any sense.”

“I do?”

“Yeah. You look like a woman in love.”

“Well, fuck!” she groaned. “It’s all pointless now, anyway. I’m head over heels for a guy who’s leaving town any day and I’m too damn scared to tell him.”

“Why?” both women asked in unison.

“Because I’m terrified it will just make him run away that much faster. He doesn’t seem to be the kind who sticks around.”

“How can you know that for sure?” Maggie asked.

“I broke the rules,” Lily sighed, hanging her head low. “It was just supposed to be a fun distraction while it lasted and then we’d each go our separate ways. I was never supposed to get attached. Now every time I see him it hurts even more than the last when I have to leave.”

“And he doesn’t feel the same way at all?”

“That’s what kills me! There are moments when I could swear that he feels it just as strongly as I do. He sometimes acts so jealous and possessive, but any time I’ve tried to hint at possibly wanting more, he changes the subject.”