The Apartment (Apartment #1) (16 page)

For once in her life, Lily was putting herself first.

She was getting increasingly irritated with the need to check in or explain where she had been, and Scott’s visits were making her resent him for stealing her free time. Of course, that only made her feel guilty for being selfish, when he hadn’t actually done anything. She had to keep reminding herself that it wasn’t his fault that she’d rather screw a complete stranger than let him touch her.

Lily watched him more closely while he ate, wondering where it all went wrong. Obviously she could pinpoint one major difference in her life recently, but it didn’t change the fact that they had been drifting apart for a while. She realized that her feelings for him had been changing for a long time. Whenever she saw him lately, it was as if she was hanging out with a brother or cousin, and having such a major distraction over the last week had only served to intensify that feeling.

She remembered the first time George had set them up. She had barely been in town for a month, still nursing him back to health, when he had started dropping hints. At the time, she could hardly recall the boy she used to play with—though she had no trouble remembering Sam and how wary he made her feel.

“Do you remember Scott Walker?” George asked her after she had finished feeding him his lunch. At her blank stare, he prodded further. “You know, Sam’s son. You used to play with him when you would visit in the summer.”

Lily vaguely remembered a young boy with big brown eyes running around after her as they played. “I think so. Maybe. Why? And how is Sam these days?”

“We don’t really talk much lately,” George hedged, “but that boy is a great kid. I’ve tried to keep tabs on him over the years since his mom left.” He looked around the room quickly—down at the tray of food on his lap, out the window over her shoulder, anywhere but at her directly. He was obviously nervous. “It just seems to me that he could really use a new friend. He’s so isolated out there, and I’d really hate for him to fall in with a bad crowd. Lord knows Sam never watches after him.” He mumbled so low it was almost to himself. “Unless he needs more booze.”

“So what are you saying, you want me to babysit some guy in his late twenties?”

“No, no, nothing like that. He’s all grown up and can take care of himself. I just thought it might be nice for him to make a new friend, that’s all.”

“I don’t know, Dad. I just got here. I haven’t even really met anyone yet.”

“Well, then that’s a great reason to get to know him.” He looked up at her finally, a slight blush tinting his cheeks. “He’ll be here tomorrow to take a look at your car.”

“Dad!” she gasped. “You shouldn’t interfere like that!”

“What? That old thing needs a tune-up, and he’s the best guy to check it out. It used to be his—he completely rebuilt the engine.”

After debating for a few minutes she let out a deep sigh. “Alright, fine. Just don’t push, okay?”

“Me? Never.” He smiled brightly, grabbing one last bite of his sandwich before she cleared the tray
.

The next afternoon, Lily had been ready for some young goober of a kid to show up at her front door. She was prepared to play nice, but was totally geared up to let the kid down easy. Therefore when the knock came at her door, she had been completely unprepared for the tall, dark, sexy man standing in front of her.

He had such an enormous smile that his eyes lit up, making him appear to glow. She had been a goner from that moment on, and George wouldn’t stop gloating for days.

He had asked her out that day, after allowing her to ogle him for a good two hours while he worked on her Oldsmobile, shirtless. Lily had never seen such lovely tanned skin before, and his muscles were insane. She eagerly accepted, and in the beginning it was fun. He could make her laugh like nobody she had ever met before and he seemed to genuinely enjoy her company. But when it became physical between them, things never fully clicked, much to Lily’s dismay. It wasn’t that it was
bad
—it just didn’t feel right.

She could sit with him and talk and laugh for hours, but as soon as he would start trying for more, the energy just seemed to fizzle.

It didn’t help that they never really had a lot of privacy, between his drunk father and her bedridden one, but even the few times when they would find a moment alone it just felt forced. She found him attractive and enjoyed his company, but the second he would kiss her she would start wondering what was wrong with her, what was missing. She had simply chalked it up to her own inexperience and assumed that she was frigid. Even the few men she had been with before had always left her wanting, so that led her to believe that either they were all terrible at it, or she was.

When he actually proposed to her, she thought that she would be an idiot to pass him up. He was a great friend, and wasn’t that really the most important thing? From what she had heard, all lust would fade over time, but having a true friend as a companion when the passion fades was the secret to a successful marriage. Plus, George couldn’t have been happier.

When she really thought about it, every time she had even slightly questioned to herself whether they were making the right decision by getting married, George was right there telling her how happy she made him by choosing Scott. How much of their relationship had actually been her choice?

And now she was starting to feel as if she just might know what she’d been missing. Her inner voice wouldn’t allow her to ignore the new feelings that her beautiful stranger had been stirring inside her.

Be honest, Lily. If he asked you to run away with him tomorrow, you would
.

Her inner voice was absolutely right, which scared the living shit out of her. She knew nothing about him, not even his name, but deep down she knew that if he looked her in the eye tomorrow and said he couldn’t live without her, she would have to agree. Never mind the fact that they’d barely spoken to each other and had only met a week ago.

It’s just sex, Lily! Get over it. Just enjoy it while it lasts, have a good cry when it’s over, and go back to your real life. Scott will still be here, and you can learn to make it work
.

That was her practical side speaking up. Every day it worked its hardest to trample her emotional side into the dirt. Although she knew it was right, she couldn’t help but be shocked at how cool and calculating she was being toward Scott. Yes, she would hate to stir things up for nothing, but she couldn’t ignore the fact that stringing him along was wrong.

“Yoo-hoo, Lily?” She blinked a few times and realized that Scott was waving his hand in front of her face. “Where were you just now?”

“She was doing that earlier,” George explained as she tried to hide her blush. “I told her that I could practically hear the wedding bells chiming in her brain.”

“Oh really?” Scott smiled.

“Yep, I caught her right there daydreaming in front of the stove. Say, when are you two kids gonna finally set a date?” George was on his second helping of casserole; the salad was still sitting on his plate untouched.

“Well, it’s a funny thing you should mention that,” he returned with a big smile. Reaching into his pocket, he turned to face Lily. “Okay, I told you months ago that I was going to do this. I bet you thought I forgot, but I’ve just been trying to save up some money.” He held out his hand to her, and inside it was a small maroon box.

She stared at it for a moment, not quite sure what was happening.

“Go ahead, silly. Open it up.” He held it closer to her, an expectant look on his face.

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion after that. Lily took the small box between her fingers, trying to ignore the sinking feeling of dread as she opened the lid. Inside the satin lining sat a small, delicate diamond ring. It certainly wasn’t the biggest diamond she’d ever seen, but she had never cared about that before, and that wasn’t why she was unhappy about it.

“Scott… this is too much. You didn’t have to do this.”

“Oh, hush up,” he scolded, grabbing the box around her fingers and taking out the ring. “I told you that one day I would put a diamond on this finger,” he said, sliding it into place on her ring finger. “There, that looks much better.” He smiled up at her. “Now everyone can see that you’re my girl.”

“Well it’s about damn time, kid,” George said, clapping him on the back. Lily was still staring at her hand, dumbfounded, as if she were waiting for the ring to start screaming at her, telling her she was a filthy liar.

“Don’t you like it?” Scott’s voice was tinged with worry. He had finally bothered to pay attention to the look on her face.

“Of course I do,” she said automatically, unable to ignore the driving need to keep everyone happy. “I, uh, just wish you hadn’t blown all your money on me.”

“Don’t worry about that,” he dismissed her, pulling her hand close and leaning down to kiss it quickly. “I should have had it when I first asked you. And now that it finally looks official, I feel so much better about setting a date. What do you think of October? Maybe the twentieth?”

“Um…” She looked back and forth from George to Scott at matching looks of anticipation on their faces. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Hot damn, it’s a date!” Scott jumped up and pulled her to her feet, hugging her tightly. Her father watched them with a smile, his eyes suspiciously wet.

Lily couldn’t wait for the night to be over.

“Tell me about the first time you ever had sex.” Her voice was a quiet whisper in the bedroom, but it was enough to drag him back from the brink of his light slumber.

“Mmm… what?” Ethan had just begun to dream about luscious pink lips and silky brown locks, but the soft voice beside him was much more enticing.

“You heard me,” Lily blushed. “Tell me about the first time you ever had sex.” She was determined to get him to open up this time and had spent the entire night and all day at work thinking of different things to ask him.

What she hadn’t counted on was the dark look that crossed over his features.

“I don’t think so.”

“Please?” She couldn’t keep the pout from her lips as she rolled over and propped herself up on his chest.

He took a deep breath and sighed loudly, looking into the eyes that had filled his every waking thought lately. “Why do you want to know?”

“Well… because. You keep asking me new questions every day. It’s getting a little one-sided.”

He ran his hand through his hair in frustration before resting it on her bare back, slowly stroking a circular pattern between her shoulder blades. “It’s just that it isn’t really a fond memory for me.”

“Come on,” Lily coaxed. “You keep saying that we can tell each other anything here. Don’t pussy out on the first thing I ask you.”

“You’re a sassy little bitch when you want to be, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” she smiled. “Now spill it. Were you young and impressionable? Was it an older woman who was eager to teach you? I’m dying to know.”

Ethan was quiet for so long that Lily thought he wasn’t going to reply. She laid her head down on his chest and huffed, only to be surprised by his velvety voice near her ear.

“It was my—” The word “manager” stuck in his throat. She didn’t deserve that title any more. “College sweetheart, for lack of a better term. At least,
I
was still in college.”

Lily flipped back over and faced him again. “Not until college?
You
?”

“Yeah, almost the end of school, actually. What can I say, I was a late bloomer.” His smile was wickedly sexy, but she refused to let him distract her.

“What made you wait so long?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that I was waiting. I was always interested, but I was ungodly shy. I covered up my insecurities by becoming a pretentious snob, and I let people think that nobody was good enough for me.”

“Hmm,” Lily mused. “I probably would have just assumed you were gay.”

“Excuse me?” The instant arch in his eyebrow made her giggle loudly.

“Well, come on, look at you! Any time someone that gorgeous doesn’t date in school, it usually means they are hiding a secret longing for other pretty boys.”

“And you’re an expert on the homosexual community, are you?”

“No, not at all, but it seemed that most of the attractive guys who didn’t date at my high school were living loud and proud by the time I ran into them again a few years down the road.”

He thought for a moment before chuckling. “Maybe that would explain why so many guys used to wink at me when nobody was looking.”

“Can’t say I blame them. I bet you were delicious even then.” She leaned down and kissed his chest, flicking her tongue over one of his flat, dusky nipples, causing it to pebble up.

“So, some woman finally got her hooks in you?” she prodded.

Ethan sighed again, stroking her back more firmly. “If you only knew how appropriate that statement really was.”

“Bad relationship?”

“To put it mildly,” he whispered. His thoughts went back to the first time he had ever seen Rachel, working at Sullivan Galleries for the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. She had been the one to help him organize his first college exhibition. “She was so striking, so glamorous. She was older than me and way more experienced. She intimidated the shit out of me, so of course I went out of my way to avoid her. Well, she must have seen me as a challenge or something, because she hunted me down like prey.”

Lily suddenly didn’t want to hear any more—not about this particular woman, at least. The thought of anyone else having their way with him was disturbing enough, invoking a jealousy that surprised her, but she could tell that something really bad had occurred in his past. It made her want to hunt down the skank who was responsible and rip her arms off before beating her with them.

“Okay, different question,” she smiled, leaning over to kiss his other nipple. “What’s your favorite position?”

Happy to be changing topics, Ethan’s mood lightened immediately. His smile nearly blinded her with its brightness. “Do I really have to pick just one?”