The Angel in the Corner (40 page)

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Authors: Monica Dickens

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BOOK: The Angel in the Corner
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Virginia could only wait and hope that time would bring him back to her. Each time they quarrelled, each time he was drunk or violent, she thought that she could not endure it any more. But she had to endure it. There was nothing else to do. Whatever Joe did, whatever he was, she was committed to him, and by something more than duty. There were times when she did not know whether she loved him any more, and yet this bond that held her to him was incomprehensible if it was not love. She had to stay with him. She had to endure this bad time, because she knew that somehow, some day it would get better. It was not possible to believe that it could go on like this.

Felix came to the Olive Branch again, as she had feared that he would. Joe was in the saloon bar with Virginia, and she had to introduce Felix. Joe grunted, and considered Felix for a moment, chewing his upper lip, then moved to the end of the bar to serve some people who were waiting.

‘Your husband doesn’t seem to like me,’ Felix said mildly, with an eyebrow raised.

‘Why shouldn’t he? You’re imagining things.’ It was a busy night, and Virginia had to talk to Felix in snatches, between pouring drinks and going out to the tables to take orders. Felix was alone. He leaned in the corner between the end of the bar and the wall and watched Virginia moving among the people in the room, greeting them, exchanging a few words, playing the part of landlord’s amiable wife that she had learned and practised since she and Joe came to the Olive Branch.

‘I thought I would find you looking better,’ Felix said when she came back, ‘but you don’t. You look worse. Didn’t the pills help?’

‘I couldn’t go on taking them. They – they didn’t agree with me.’

‘I’ll give you something else.’

‘No. I’m all right.’ Virginia glanced at Joe, and saw that he was looking at them.

‘I wish there was something I could do to help, Virginia.’

She was afraid of the tenderness in his voice. She said again: ‘I’m all right,’ but she wanted to say: ‘If you want to help, please go away. Go away and leave me alone, before you start another quarrel.’

Felix asked her a question, but she could not hear it, because someone with a louder voice spoke to her. ‘I’m sorry, Felix,’ she said, with a touch of impatience. ‘I can’t talk to you tonight. We’re very busy.’ But Felix would not go away. He waited, drinking slowly, always watching her, and sometimes watching Joe, and Virginia thought he saw how roughly Joe pushed her out of the way when she knocked his arm, reaching for the same shelf.

When all the people were gone, and Virginia was wiping down the bar, Joe folded his arms and said: ‘Well, go on. Tell me about him.’

‘Who?’

‘The natty little chap who stayed in the corner all the time and gazed at you like an idiot.’

‘Oh, Felix.’ Virginia continued to polish, although the bar was spotless. ‘He’s a doctor I used to know.’

‘The one who gave you the sleeping pills, I suppose? Very cosy. Also the one you told me about ages ago, when you were still telling me things, the one who tried to make you. He’s still at his old game, I see.’

‘Don’t be ridiculous, Joe. He only came tonight to see if I was all right.’

‘Why shouldn’t you be all right? What’s wrong with you?’ Joe took her hands off the bar and held her wrists, tightly.

‘You’re hurting me. He knew I wasn’t sleeping well. Don’t be so violent about Felix. He was only trying to help me.’

‘Felix – my God, what a name. You don’t need help.’ Joe dropped her wrists, pushing them away. ‘You’re just neurotic. Sleeping pills! That’s a line I haven’t met before. If he comes
round here again with his sleeping pills, I swear I’ll punch him in the nose, if I don’t shoot him first. Don’t forget I’ve got my gun in that drawer.’ It’s not loaded.’

‘How do you know? How does Felix know? I’d only have to point it at him and say Bang, bang, and the little twerp would pass out cold from fright.’

Felix was ill-advised enough to come again. He came at lunch-time, harmlessly, mildly. Except for a greeting and an inquiry after her health, he did not talk to Virginia, but Joe had been drinking since eleven o’clock, and he told Felix to get out of the Olive Branch and never come back if he knew what was good for him.

‘I beg your pardon?’ Felix asked politely, leaning forward as if he had not heard correctly.

‘You heard me. Stay away from here. I don’t want you hanging round my wife.’

‘I assure you, Mr Colonna, I had no intention –’ Felix looked discreetly surprised. Joe was excited and breathing heavily, but Felix remained calm and poised, with his umbrella over his arm and his hat and neatly-folded newspaper on the bar in front of him.

Virginia was bitterly ashamed that Joe should show himself like this in front of Felix, and terrified that the other people in the bar would hear, and stop talking to watch the scene.

‘Well?’ Joe stuck out his jaw. ‘Are you going, or do I have to chuck you out?’

‘Joe – please!’ Virginia pulled at his arm, and he pushed her roughly away.

‘It’s all right.’ Felix did not look at Joe. He looked at Virginia, and his eyes were filled with concern. ‘I’ll go. I don’t want to cause any trouble. God knows I didn’t come here for that.’ He took his hat and newspaper off the bar. ‘Good-bye, Virginia. You know where to find me if you need me.’

‘Don’t flatter yourself,’ Joe said. ‘She won’t need you. She never did.’ But Felix had already turned and was walking out of the bar, putting on the stiff black hat, which came down too low on his ears and immediately made him look a lesser man, subordinated to the hat.

Virginia could not bear to watch him walk through the door with the hat spoiling his dignity. She turned away and went into the kitchen through the door behind the bar. It was nearly closing time, and she began to make sandwiches for lunch. She heard Joe close and lock the front door. She heard him stop in the bar to pour himself another drink, which he brought into the kitchen. He sat down at the table and leaned his elbows on it, watching her while she moved about the room. She saw that he had half a tumbler of neat whisky between his hands.

‘You shouldn’t drink so much in the middle of the day,’ Virginia said.

‘Why not? I’ll sleep it off this afternoon. You should be glad if I can drink myself to sleep. Gives you a chance to run round the corner and meet your boy-friend.’

Virginia did not answer. ‘I said, it gives you a chance to run out and meet your boy-friend,’ Joe repeated, irritated that he could not goad her.

‘Oh, stop it,’ she said. ‘You’ve made a big enough fool of yourself for one day. Felix won’t come back here again. You can give yourself marks for that – if you like losing customers – but you can’t give yourself any marks for sense.’

Joe took a drink of whisky and made a face. He was at the stage when alcohol is repulsive and essential at the same time. He banged his glass down on the table. ‘I’ve got enough sense to see when a man is trying to make my wife,’ he said surlily, ‘and when my wife is making it easy for him.’

‘That’s a lie.’ Virginia faced him across the table. ‘I don’t think anything about Felix. He’s been kind to me, that’s all, and I’ve known him for quite a long time. You just don’t throw away your friends because your husband is unreasonably jealous.’

‘You would if you cared anything about how your husband felt. That’s the hell of it.’ Joe gazed moodily into space, his eyes black and empty.

‘Not that again. I can’t argue with you when you’re like that, because you won’t listen to the truth.’

‘How do I know when you’re telling me the truth? I tell you, it’s a hell of a situation.’

‘I’ve always told you the truth. You know that. And I’m
telling it now. I don’t care a thing for Felix. I never did. I’ve never cared for anyone but you.’

‘I notice you don’t use the word love any more,’ Joe said cunningly, shifting his eyes to look at her without moving his head.

‘It means the same thing. Here’ – Virginia pushed a plate in front of him – ‘eat your sandwiches, and I’ll make some coffee. That will do you much more good than the whisky. Give me the glass and I’ll pour it away.’

‘The hell you will.’ Joe grabbed the glass as she reached for it, swallowed the rest of the drink, and stood up. ‘Come here,’ he said. ‘No, nearer. I want to talk to you.’

When she was standing in front of him, he stared at her, trying to focus his eyes, swaying a little on his feet. ‘Tell me the truth then,’ he said. ‘Now that you’ve seen that guy again, and now that you’ve been married to me for nearly two years, during which I’ve – how did your charming mother put it – dragged you with me into the gutter, weren’t you wishing out there in the bar that you were married to him instead of me?’

‘No.’ Virginia shook her head. She could say it honestly, because she had not thought of it. Now, the idea passed through her mind. Marriage to Felix … safe, dull, gentle. A comfortable home, children, security, friends, graceful, polite parties … so very different from this, and she herself a very different person. A little dull herself by now probably, securely undemanding, content never to know what her body was capable of, never to guess at the passion or the pain.…

‘What are you thinking?’ Joe was watching her.

She brought her eyes back to his face and said honestly: ‘I was thinking what it would have been like being married to Felix. I wouldn’t …’

‘You dirty bitch!’ Joe lurched forward and struck her in the face. She staggered, clutching at the table, and ducked her head as he aimed another wild blow at her.

‘Oh, crumbs, Mrs C. – oh, crumbs!’ Lennie had come running into the room when Joe shouted. He pushed Virginia out of the way and stood, pathetically courageous between her and Joe, squaring his elbows and doubling his fists, his voice trembling up to a squeak. ‘You leave her alone, you brute, do you
hear me? I’ll get the police. You lay a hand on her, and I’ll get the police to you!’

Joe put his hands on his hips and roared with laughter. ‘I’ll get the police to you!’ he mimicked. ‘What’s the matter – can’t you fight it out yourself? Put your hands up, big boy, and let’s see who’s boss around here.’

Joe raised his fists, feinting at Lennie with a leering grin. The boy flailed his weak arms like drumsticks. For a moment, Virginia thought that Joe was going to hit him. His arm shot out, and he picked up Lennie by the collar and set him neatly aside. ‘All right, you sickly little bastard,’ he said. ‘You keep out of my way, if you don’t want what’s coming to you.’

‘You leave her alone then,’ Lennie gibbered, ‘or I’ll –’

‘Oh, shut your trap, you little rat.’ Joe pushed him aside and slouched towards the back door.

‘Where are you going?’ Virginia asked. ‘Don’t you want your lunch?’ What a silly thing to say. Just the sort of futile thing one did say after a crisis.

Joe turned at the door. ‘Lunch?’ he said vaguely, as if the word meant nothing to him. ‘God, no. I’m not hungry. I’m going to get some air. I feel like hell.’ He brushed the back of his hand across his forehead. His face was pale and sticky with sweat. ‘I think I’ll go and chop some firewood. Do me good. I’ll pretend I’ve got Lennie’s neck under the hatchet.’ He gave a short, brutal laugh, fumbled with the door-handle, and went out into the little courtyard.

Virginia sat down and tried to smile at Lennie. The side of her face was flushed and burning. ‘It’s all right, Lennie,’ she said. ‘Don’t look so upset.’

‘I am,’ he said. ‘Proper upset. It’s not right, Mrs C. He’s getting so he’s not safe any more when he’s been drinking. He’ll chop his hand off out there, the state he’s in,’ he added, not without satisfaction. ‘I tell you what it is. I reckon he’s drinking so bad these days because he can’t forget what he did to our baby.’

‘What do you mean?’ Virginia frowned. ‘It wasn’t his fault. She could have died even if I had been there.’

‘Didn’t you know then?’ Lennie poked his head forward to search her face with incredulous eyes. ‘Didn’t he ever tell you?’

‘Tell me what? What are you trying to say?’

‘He dropped her on the stairs. He’d been down with her in the bar, drinking, see. He wasn’t too steady on his legs and he dropped her. Out there on the stone. I saw her laying there, just before he picked her up. I’d been in the storeroom, see, waiting for Nancy. He didn’t know I was there, but when I heard him slip and curse, I came into the Public, and I saw it, although he never seen me. He just picked up the baby and run upstairs. Oh, crumbs, Mrs C.,’ he said, watching Virginia’s face. ‘I’m ever so sorry. I made sure he’d have told you.’

Virginia was surprised to hear herself speaking in a normal voice. She sat with her hands on the edge of the table, propping herself up, because she felt so faint. ‘It doesn’t make any difference,’ she said. ‘Jenny is dead now. It doesn’t make any difference.’

‘If that’s the way you want to look at it.’ Lennie fumbled with his shirt-collar, which Joe had pulled out of place. ‘Do you feel all right now, Mrs C.? If you don’t need me, I think I’ll pop out and get my lunch. This little upset has made me a bit peckish.’

‘Of course,’ Virginia said flatly. ‘Go and get your lunch.’

‘You sure you’ll be all right?’ Lennie hesitated, glancing towards the back door, where erratic sounds of chopping could be heard. ‘Oh, well,’ he said, as Virginia nodded, ‘I’ll say bye-bye for now. I shan’t be more than a few minutes.’

When he had gone, Virginia tried to think. Her mind was numb. The thoughts would not come. There was only a picture, a picture of Jenny, lying in a tiny heap on the cold stone at the foot of the stairs. Dead? Perhaps she had been dead already when Joe put her back in the crib, and he had not had the courage to tell her.

The back door burst open and Joe came in, cursing. ‘Nicked myself,’ he said, holding up a bleeding finger. ‘Moral – always sober up before you use a chopper.’ He flung the hatchet down on the table and went to the sink to hold his finger under the tap.

‘Joe,’ Virginia said quietly, sitting with her head down, not looking at him, ‘why didn’t you tell me you dropped Jenny on the stairs the night she died?’

Joe wheeled round. ‘Who says I did?’

‘Lennie. He was in the public bar. He saw it.’

‘Oh.’ Joe came towards her, sucking his finger. He had not turned the tap off tightly, and it dripped with a steady musical patter into the sink behind him. ‘Well – what are you going to do about it?’

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