The Amish Bride (16 page)

Saturday found Ellen with both families, her own and the Shetlers, at a community apple-cider gathering. That year, a few varieties of apples had come ripe early, so the work frolic was being held nearly a month earlier than usual. The husband of one of Dinah’s daughters owned a large apple orchard, and it was their custom to host a community gathering every fall.

The older men and women, aided by teenagers and younger women with babies, watched over the children, providing pony rides, apple bobbing and taffy pulls. There were sack races, tug-of-war contests and games, all intended to keep the little ones entertained while their mothers made huge kettles of apple butter over open fires. The younger men were equally busy. They were in charge of making enough apple cider to share with the entire Amish community. It was a much-awaited day of work and play, visiting and plenty of food to offset the business of cider-and apple-butter making.

With so many hands to help, even the tasks of stirring the bubbling apple butter and sorting and grinding bushels and bushels of ripe apples were enjoyable. Ellen and Micah had arrived early and contributed their share of labor before noon so that they could take part in the corn-toss games, the wood-chopping contest, the egg and spoon races and the corn-husking and shelling competitions. Ellen had come in first in the blindfolded egg-and-spoon race, and Micah had won the wood-chopping contest. The prize was a new ax, a gift that brought a lot of laughter from the onlookers.

“If you run out of wood to cut, you can come over to my woodshed this afternoon,” Bishop Andy called. “Or the schoolhouse. They’re always looking for firewood.”

Micah rubbed the blisters on his hands and groaned. “I think I’ve had enough chopping for one day.” That brought more laughter from the crowd.

“If I’d known he could cut wood that fast with an ax,” Simeon shouted, “I wouldn’t have bought that new saw.”

Micah’s friend Abram came over to slap Micah’s back and congratulate him. “Don’t forget there’s a singing at the Rupps’ tonight,” he reminded. “You two are coming, aren’t you?”

Micah looked at Ellen and grinned. “What do you say?”

“I don’t know,” she hedged. “Tomorrow’s church.”

“I promise I’ll get you home early.” Micah reached for the cup of cider she was drinking, and she laughed and held it out of his reach. In turn, he scooped up a handful of woodchips from the grass and threw them at her.

Ellen giggled as woodchips fell into her cup. “Now you can have it,” she said.

“See how she treats me?” Micah grimaced, putting on an aggrieved expression for his friend. “What will she do once we’re married?”

“
If
we’re married,” she answered saucily. “I haven’t made up my mind about you yet.” She picked the woodchips out of the cup and tossed them back at him. Several struck his shirt and rolled off, leaving apple-cider stains.

He reached for her hand. “Come to the singing with me,” he said.

“I’ll think about it.” She was tempted. She loved the singings but if she didn’t get enough sleep tonight, she’d be yawning through the next morning’s sermons. And that definitely wouldn’t set a good example for the younger girls.

“Cutting wood is thirsty work.” Micah indicated the barn where the men were still making cider. “Shall we walk over there and get some more before I collapse and die of thirst?”

They walked down the lane through the apple trees. On either side, young people were climbing ladders to reach the ripe fruit. Girls were holding out their aprons to catch apples tossed from boys in the trees and children ran under the branches snatching up fallen apples and taking bites. It was a wonderful day, a day of laughter and fun and combined work that would provide delicious cider and apple butter in the snowy days of winter.

As they walked, Micah’s hand closed around hers. “Have you had as much fun today as I have?” he asked. “I hope so. Because anytime I’m with you is the best time.”

She tried to pull her hand free, but he held it tightly. “We shouldn’t—” she began and then broke off when she spotted Neziah standing a few yards away, watching them. Surprised, Micah released her, and she tucked her hand behind her back like a guilty child caught with her fingers in cake icing.

There was something in Neziah’s eyes that worried Ellen. Was he upset that she and Micah had been holding hands? She met Neziah’s gaze. No, she sensed it was something else.

“I need to tell you both something,” Neziah said as he walked toward them. His features were solemn, his eyes dark with swirling emotion.

Ellen and Micah exchanged glances as they approached his brother.

Neziah cleared his throat when they were standing in front of him. “I’ve been watching the two of you together and...” His voice was deep and raspy. “I see how happy the two of you are together. And I realized that...” He looked away and then back at them, making eye contact with first Micah, then Ellen. “I realized you belong together.”

Micah frowned. “Brother—”

Neziah held up his hand. “Let me speak my piece while I have the nerve for it. I’ve been thinking on this all week. Praying on it. What I’m trying to say is that I’m stepping out of the...whatever this is we’ve been doing.” He motioned to all three of them. “Micah, you and Ellen belong together. And I wish you...happiness.” He straightened to his full height, and his lips thinned as he swallowed. “There’s no need for you to wait. Ask Bishop Andy to cry your banns.”

“You’re sure?” Micah asked. “You’re all right with this? Giving Ellen up?”

Neziah shook his head and smiled faintly. “Do you not know her any better than that? Ellen isn’t mine to give.” A look of resignation passed over his face. “Congratulations, brother. Ellen, I wish you all the best.”

She stared at Neziah, feeling as if the wind had been knocked out of her. She was shocked by his words and if she admitted it to herself, a little angry with him. “You’ve changed your mind? Now you don’t want to marry me?” She exhaled. “After everything you said about—”

“It’s best this way,” Neziah interrupted. “As you said a long time ago, we’re too different.” He grasped Micah’s hand and shook it. “You and Ellen have more in common. You’ll make the best match.”

Micah broke into a grin. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”

“
Jah.
Make her happy, Micah. I know you can. Just don’t ever give me reason to think I made the wrong decision.”

“I won’t,” Micah assured him, pumping his hand.

Ellen suddenly felt as though all the strength had gone out of her legs. She had the strangest desire to sink down on the grass and lean against the trunk of an apple tree. She couldn’t think of what to say to Neziah and so she said nothing as he strode away. Then it occurred to her that she should be relieved. Her decision had been made for her. Now she didn’t have to choose between the brothers. She would marry Micah. He would accept baptism, and they would wed with the full approval of their families and the church. Micah would be the father of her children, and they would live as best they could in their faith and grow old together.

“You heard him!” Micah caught her by the waist and swung her in a circle. “You’re mine! Let’s go to Bishop Andy right now! Neziah’s right. There’s no need to wait another day! We can start planning our wedding! Isn’t it wonderful?” He lowered her to the ground. “We can be married in November,” he went on. “I’ll ask to join the church immediately and get them to cry the banns as soon—”

“Nay,”
Ellen managed, pressing her hand to her forehead. She felt dizzy, from Micah spinning her around, no doubt. “Not yet.”

“What do you mean,
not yet
?” He looked at her, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “You heard Neziah. He’s taking back his offer of marriage. I’ve won you. You’re mine, Ellen. Finally, really mine.” He laughed and clapped his hands together. “This is the best day of my life. Of course, I know you’d have picked me in the end, but having Neziah’s blessing makes it easier, doesn’t it?”

Ellen pressed her lips together, only half hearing what Micah was saying. “We’ll not make the announcement yet. Our agreement was for a month. To announce sooner would be inappropriate.”

He scowled and opened his arms. “There’s nothing inappropriate. We’ve known each other our whole lives. Neither of us is a kid. No one will think poorly of you for such a fast engagement.”

It wasn’t herself she was thinking about. It was Neziah. She didn’t want to hurt him, not for anything. And it would hurt him, wouldn’t it? For her to announce the engagement so quickly. Or was that what he wanted? To be done with her. To be over with it. “My father gave me a month,” she said stubbornly. “We’ll wait until the full month has passed. Then we’ll tell everyone. Until then...” She nodded. “Until then, it will be our secret.”

Chapter Fifteen

O
n Wednesday morning Gail stopped by the craft shop. She came in by the front door and waited, looking at the merchandise until Ellen rang up purchases for two customers and they left the store. “Good morning,” Ellen said.

Gail smiled shyly. “Good morning.” She looked as if she wanted to say something, but she just stood there.

“Is everything okay upstairs?” Ellen asked finally. “Bathroom working? You have enough hot water? The hot water heater is getting finicky.”

Gail smiled again. “It’s all wonderful. I love it up there. Did you know that through the west window you can see all the way to the farms on the far side of Lincoln Road?”

Ellen could hear Dinah rattling around in the kitchen, making an early lunch. Ellen had to take over the customers at two, while Dinah did her weekly grocery shopping. Dinah’s sister always shopped on Wednesdays, too, and the two would enjoy coffee and a visit afterward.

When Gail didn’t say anything, Ellen smiled at her. “Is there something I can help you with?”

“
Nay
, it’s you I wanted to...” Gail caught the hem of her T-shirt between her fingers and twisted it nervously. “I was wondering if you’d like to come to lunch with me today. My treat,” she added quickly. “I wanted to thank you.”

“Gail,” Ellen began. “That’s not necessary. I’m glad you’re staying here. It’s company for Dinah, just knowing someone else is in the building at night. You don’t need to spend your money on me.”

“Please. Please come,” Gail said all in a rush. “And it isn’t costing me a penny. Except for the tip,” she added. “Margaret allots us so many meals, and I saved one for you. We can have anything, so long as our bill doesn’t go over ten dollars each. I know you always take off early for lunch on Wednesday, and it would make me happy if you’d have lunch with me.”

“All right,” Ellen agreed. It was clear that it meant a lot to Gail, and wasn’t she always telling her mother that she had to learn to accept help from other people? What had she said to her just this morning? “You have to learn to be a gracious receiver as well as a giver.” And besides, she would welcome the opportunity to get to know Gail better. Even if they’d gotten off to a poor start, Ellen felt that Gail was someone that she’d like to have as a friend.

Half an hour later Dinah was behind the counter at the store, and Gail and Ellen were seated in a quiet corner at the Mennonite Family Restaurant. To Ellen’s delight, she was enjoying her time with her new tenant. There on neutral ground, Gail was more relaxed, even friendly. She didn’t talk a lot, but what she said was sensible and interesting.

“Today’s one of my days off,” Gail explained after they’d ordered. She spooned sugar into a tall glass of iced tea. “Wednesday is meatloaf and mac and cheese day. It’s one of their lunch specials, but you can have whatever you like. The meatloaf is so good that I asked the cook for the recipe.”

“Did she give it to you?” Ellen asked.

Gail shook her head. “Not yet, but she will. She likes me. She even asked me to come to one of their church services.”

“Do you think you’ll go? To Mennonite worship?”

Gail stirred her tea. “I don’t know. Not yet, but maybe one day. It’s all sort of confusing. I’ve always gone...” She sighed and glanced up at Ellen. “I’ve never gone to any other church service but Amish. It’s hard to think of worshipping with another faith.”

“The Lord is still with you, Gail, wherever you are.”

She nodded. “I pray. A lot. But there’s a lot of stuff that I haven’t figured out yet.”

“Can I ask if you were baptized?” Ellen kept her voice low. “It’s none of my business, but—”

“You think I’ve been shunned?” Gail shook her head. “No. I wasn’t baptized so I wasn’t shunned by the church. Probably by my family, though. My father would...” She broke off and looked away.

Ellen waited and was rewarded when Gail went on.

“My father doesn’t forgive easily. I love him, but I can’t live with him. Not ever again.” She met Ellen’s gaze. “He’s not a bad man, but I think he’s troubled...in his head.” She sighed again. “When he was a child, he went into the barn and found his father dead by his own hand.
Mutter
says it preys on his mind. He was only seven years old. Too young to see such a thing.”

“I’m sorry,” Ellen said, seeing that Gail was near to tears. “I shouldn’t have asked.”

“Nay.”
Gail gave her a half smile. “I should have told you that I hadn’t been shunned. I would never do anything to get you or anyone in trouble.” She took a sip of her iced tea. “I guess you could say that I’m
rumspringa
. I never joined the church.
Vadder
wanted me to. Said I shamed him by not being baptized with my younger sister. That’s why I left when I did. It has to be my decision to accept the Plain life, doesn’t it?”

“It does,” Ellen agreed. “Let’s talk about something else. I’m sorry if I’ve upset you.”

“Jah.”
Gail forced a smile. “It is your treat and my pleasure to have you. At home, I had friends. And my sisters and brothers. I was close to them. It hurts to think I might not see them again.”

“Because you don’t think you can go home?”

“Jah.”

“Life changes, Gail. It may not be as bad as you think. As they grow up, they can choose to visit you if they like.”

“I suppose, the ones that
Vadder
hasn’t convinced that I’m
schlecht
.” Wicked.

“I don’t think you’re bad,” Ellen assured her. “I think you’re a kindhearted person.”

Gail lowered her hands to her lap. “I try to be. But sometimes I have resentful thoughts about my father. It is a failing of mine, to always question and not accept my father’s rule. Honor your mother and father, the Bible tells us.
Mutter
said I should just obey him, and everything would be all right. That was her way, but not mine.”

Ellen listened without saying anything.

“Usually I honor
Vadder
with my actions, but not always in my thoughts.” She crumbled her napkin and laid it beside her plate. “Here I am still talking about my troubles when I should be congratulating you. I hear that you and Micah Shetler are going to marry. That’s wonderful.” Her eyes took on a sparkle. “I’ve seen your Micah. He’s very tall and very handsome.”

“
Jah
, he is, isn’t he?” Ellen agreed. “We’ve been talking, spending time together for the last few weeks, trying to decide if we want to walk out together. It’s a big decision, who you will marry. Someday, you’ll have to choose a husband. Is there anyone you left behind? In your community?”

“Me?” Gail chuckled. “
Nay.
There is no one special.” She glanced around to see if anyone was close enough to hear and said, “I’ve seen you with the other one, too. Micah’s brother?”

“My
vadder
and his
vadder
wanted me to marry one of them,” Ellen admitted. “I just didn’t know which one.”

“The older one looks nice, too, but very serious. And he has
kinner
. How many?”

“Two boys. One is four and one almost six. The oldest just started school.”

“Ah, the chunky one. He’s cute. They are both cute children. Well behaved.”

“Not always. They need a mother. It was one of the things that I considered—if it was God’s plan for me that I should nurture these motherless children.”

Gail nodded. “But you’re happy with your choice of Micah?”

“Very happy. We’re perfectly matched.” Ellen paused as the waitress brought their lunches, thanked her and then continued after she left the table. “The last few weeks have been so busy I haven’t had time to sew a single piece for my trousseau. Micah took me to Hershey Park, bowling and to the apple butter frolic on Saturday.”

Gail bowed her head, and Ellen clasped her hand and did the same. Steam rose from Ellen’s soup as she offered a silent grace. And when she opened her eyes, Gail was studying her intently.

“What? What is it?” Ellen asked.

“Nothing.” Gail poured catsup on her meatloaf. “I just wondered...” She shook her head. “It’s nothing.”

“It must be something,” Ellen said.

“Forgive me. I speak when I should hold my tongue. It’s another of my faults.”

“What?” Ellen looked at her across the table. “Tell me.”

Gail sighed. “You say you’re happy, but your eyes are sad, and there’s no shine to you. Usually, you bustle about and everyone can feel the joy shining out of you. But when you speak of the man you will marry, you don’t look happy.”

“Nonsense,” Ellen protested. “Of course I’m happy. Micah and I are perfect for each other. We’re so much alike. He likes to laugh and have a good time and so do I.”

“Pay no heed to me.” Gail gave a wave. “I talk when I shouldn’t. You know your own affairs best. I wish you happiness in your marriage.” She flushed pink. “And...and I hope you will invite me to the wedding.”

* * *

Although she’d thoroughly enjoyed her lunch with Gail, something about their conversation troubled Ellen, and she kept going over and over it in her head as Micah drove her home that evening. Gail’s statement about her not
looking happy
lingered in her mind all evening. The next morning, as she was cleaning away the breakfast dishes, she couldn’t resist mentioning her uneasiness to her mother. Her
dat
had already gone outside, and Ellen and her mother were alone. Her mother seemed fine this morning, cheerful and energetic, and it eased Ellen’s heart to see her old self.

“
Mam
, are you pleased that I’ve decided to marry Micah?” she asked as she carried the milk and butter back to the refrigerator. Her mother was standing at the big farm sink, scrubbing away at the already spotless surface.

Her mother turned and smiled at her. “Of course I am. He is a
goot
boy. With Micah you will always have laughter at your table. And you always were one who loved to laugh. Like your
dat
.” She dried her hands on her apron, went to the cupboard and retrieved the sugar bowl that she’d just put away. Removing the lid, she sprinkled sugar liberally into the sink and started scrubbing again.

Ellen suddenly felt uneasy. “
Mam?
Did you just pour sugar in the sink?”

“
Jah.
I’m cleaning. I always use
tzooker.
Didn’t I teach you that
?
And to clean out
the drains, mix it with vinegar.
Better than the stuff in the can from the store it is.”

“Drains?
Ach
, you mean baking soda, don’t you? Not sugar, baking soda.”

“
Nay
, you have the wrong of it, girl.
Tzooker
. Would you teach a hen to lay eggs? Who taught you all you know about cleaning and cooking?”

Ellen nodded. Once her mother got a thing in her head, it was best not to argue with her. And what harm would it do, to wash the sink with sugar? Other than to attract a few ants? And empty the sugar bowl.

“So,” her mother went on. “It worries you. That you chose Micah over the other one. What’s his name?”

“Neziah.” Surely her mother hadn’t forgotten Neziah’s name. “Neziah is the oldest. But I didn’t say I was worried.”

“The one with the two sweet children. So sweet, those
kinner
. Like little
fett
fastnachts
. You ask the Shetlers to supper tomorrow night. I will make gingerbread for them. Your Micah, he likes gingerbread, too. When he was a boy, he used to steal it off my windowsill when it was cooling.” She laughed. “He didn’t know I left it for him on purpose.”

“Micah stole gingerbread?”

“
Jah.
His mother, you remember her.” She
wouldn’t mention Irma’s name if she could help it. It was a habit of the older generation. Dead was dead. In heaven. In a better place. And best not to linger and grieve too long. At least not in theory. Or in public. “A
goot
woman, she was. A kind heart. But a terrible cook. I tasted her gingerbread once.” Mam grimaced. “Fit for
hink el fress a
.” Chicken feed. She emptied the remaining sugar into the sink. “So you think maybe you have made a mistake?”

“I didn’t say I made a mistake.” Ellen crossed the kitchen to stand within an arm’s length. Her mother turned from the sink, dried her hands on her apron and hugged her. It was such an unusual gesture that Ellen’s throat constricted. Her arms tightened around her mother and for long seconds they stood there, content in their embrace.

“You will be a bride,” her mother said softly. “You should be happy. It’s one thing to be nervous, but you should be thinking about Micah all the time. His face is the last one that should come to you before you fall asleep and the first when you open your eyes in the morning.” A rosy flush tinted her cheeks. “I was like that with your
vadder
. That I do not forget. Some things I do. I know that. But the time before we married...” Her smile lit up her eyes. “Just seeing him walk down the road toward me was as sweet as molasses candy. And if Micah doesn’t make you feel that way...” She shrugged and gestured with her hands. “Then maybe you should think some more.”

“But...but you like Micah best. You said—”

“Pfff.” Her mother shook her head. “What I like is nothing. What’s not to like about a pleasant young man from a
goot
family with a face like his?” She raised a warning finger. “Always you were the logical one. Even as a child. Thinking. Sensible. But maybe for this picking of a husband, you are too sensible.”

“I don’t understand,” Ellen protested. “You always said that marriage was a great responsibility, that a woman had to choose carefully because it would dictate the rest of her life.”

“
Jah.
True, true,” her mother agreed. “But it is not that simple. For me...well, you know that I came from a family...” She struggled for the words. “Not rich, but comfortable. Very comfortable, with rich land and big barns full of fat cattle. So many horses to work the land we had to have a separate stable for them. There was another young man who came courting me, and my
mutter
and
vadder
liked him best because his family had even more land than we did. He was a preacher’s son with his own dairy farm, while your
vadder
was poor, without a cow to his name. No disrespect to your
vadder
. They wanted only that I, their daughter, should be well cared for.”