Read The American Way of Death Revisited Online
Authors: Jessica Mitford
The option of caring for your own dead, if it takes hold, will mark a break with the trend towards ever-more-costly and -mechanically impersonal journeys to the grave. Which direction will the American public choose? On the one hand, there can be a return to funerals in the true American tradition, where friends and family do everything necessary without the intervention of so-called professionals; or, on the other, a further abdication of personal responsibility, where we accept the best and most costly merchandise the trade has to offer, not excluding absurdities such as Batesville’s Burping Casket.
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On the East Coast, after months of persistence by Byron Blanchard of the Boston-based Memorial Society, the Public Health Department conceded, in the summer of 1996, that consumers had a legal right to care for their own dead. A regulation promulgated by the Funeral Board—requiring a funeral director to obtain the disposition permit—had been declared illegal in 1909 but had nonetheless remained on the books.
FAMSA has taken on the daunting task of monitoring funeral laws countrywide. Aware that not everyone will opt to handle all funeral arrangements without a mortician, they stand ready to assume the cause of the consumer’s right to choose meaningful and affordable funerals. At Carlson’s prodding, societies are doing more price surveys and checking for FTC compliance. The FAMSA office serves as a clearinghouse for consumer complaints and maintains a Web site with a wide range of funeral information: www.funerals.org/famsa.
That spirit of social activism has attracted new resources. Lamar Hankins, a Texas lawyer with a history of contributing pro bono time to social issues, is typical. He is working to build an endowment for a legal fund to assist consumers—those with few other options, or residents of states where issues have national implications. Individual societies—many of which had been somnolent for the last decade—are responding with enthusiasm to the renewed spirit of activism, and new societies are emerging.
By 1997—with more and more commercial cremation businesses calling themselves “Societies”—the nonprofit societies felt they were undergoing an identity crisis. The “Ohio Cremation and Memorial Society,” for example, was attracting customers who thought it represented the well-respected nonprofit consumer group. As a result, FAMSA is encouraging member societies to change their names to “Funeral Consumer Information Society of———.”
The name change also reflects a broader base of interest. Those who join are not just those choosing immediate burial or cremation with a memorial service; even those planning a funeral with the casket present are avoiding funeral excess by seeking society help. Larry Burkett, founder of Christian Financial Concepts, admonishes his following to live without debt; that includes funeral debt. On a weekly show syndicated to more than six hundred stations, Burkett—a member of the Atlanta, Georgia, society—has commended
the societies. After a half-hour interview with Carlson in January 1997, the FAMSA phones were flooded with inquiries about how to contact a local society.
Men and women who support legislative changes and see the need for an ongoing watch of the funeral industry will want to get involved in society activities. For those seeking alternatives to a costly funeral, a onetime lifetime membership in one of the nonprofit societies will offer up-to-date local price information.
What is to be done if at the time of crisis you are unable to reach a memorial or funeral society? Send a friend to two or more mortuaries to obtain their general price lists and casket prices. Ask for the cost of direct cremation, including transportation costs and crematory fees. Likewise, for the cost of immediate burial. Pay no money in advance. If death has not yet occurred and you wish to pay in installments, do so by setting up a Totten Trust, naming yourself or a relative or close friend as beneficiary. Remember, above all, that many funeral homes have a “no-walk” policy, which means simply that if and when you start to walk out, the price will come down, down, down until a level acceptable to you is reached.
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So-called protective caskets, having been heavily merchandised over the years, now outsell all other burial receptacles combined. Ask a funeral director why someone already dead will need protection, and he will, if he follows the manufacturer’s script, reply with severity, “To prevent alien and foreign objects from reaching your loved one.” There is one Southern mortician who, following his own drummer, has reduced the explanation to: “To keep bugs and critters out.” But as with any lucrative idea that has not been thought through, the casket manufacturers and the undertakers who serve as their exclusive distributors soon had to face up to the consequences. Protective caskets, which command substantially higher prices than those that are “unprotected,” achieve protection by using an impermeable, inexpensive rubber gasket as a sealing device. This causes a buildup of methane gas, a byproduct of the metabolism of anaerobic bacteria, which, thriving in an airless environment, have a high old time with the contents of the sealed casket. Exploding-casket episodes occurred with sufficient frequency to induce Batesville, the acknowledged leader in the field, to design a new line of protective caskets to deal with the crisis. A “permeable” seal is used, which lets the accumulated gases leak—or “burp”—out, to prevent the buildup of gas that causes the lids to blow off (and the appalled relatives to go to court).
Memorial and funeral planning societies do area price surveys and may have negotiated a discount for members. Request a brochure for affordable funeral options. Most societies are run by volunteers. Consequently, the phone numbers in this directory may change from time to time. If you have difficulty contacting a society, you may call the FAMSA office at 1-800-765-0107. If there is no society nearby, you may join Friends of FAMSA and receive benefits until a new society is launched.
In the United States
Alabama
Call the FAMSA office
Alaska
Anchorage Cook Inlet Memorial | 907-566-3732 |
P.O. Box 102414, 99510 | |
Arizona
Phoenix Valley Memorial Society | 602-929-9659 |
P.O. Box 0423, Chandler, 85244-0423 | |
Prescott Memorial Society of Prescott | 520-778-3000 |
P.O. Box 1090, 86302-1090 | |
Tucson Memorial Society of Southern Arizona | 520-721-0230 |
P.O. Box 12661, 85732-2661 | |
Arkansas
Fayetteville NW Arkansas Memorial Society | 501-443-1404 |
P.O. Box 3055, 72702-3055 | |
California
Arcata Humboldt Funeral Society | 707-822-8599 |
P.O. Box 856, 95518 | |
Bakersfield Kern Memorial Society | 805-854-5689 |
P.O. Box 1202, 93302-1202 | 805-366-7266 |
Berkeley Bay Area Funeral Society | 510-841-6653 |
P.O. Box 264, 94701-0284 | |
Fresno Valley Memorial Society | |
P.O. Box 101, 93707-0101 | |
Los Angeles Los Angeles Funeral Society | 818-683-3545 |
P.O. Box 92313, Pasadena, CA 91109-2313 | 818-683-3752 |
Modesto Stanislaus Memorial Society | 209-521-7690 |
P.O. Box 4252, 95352-4252 | |
Palo Alto Funeral and Memorial Planning Society | 650-321-2109 |
P.O. Box 60448, 94306-0448 | 888-775-5553 |
Sacramento Sacramento Valley Memorial Society | 916-451-4641 |
P.O. Box 161688, 95816-1688 | |
San Diego San Diego Memorial Society | 619-293-0926 |
P.O. Box 16336, 92176 | |
San Luis Obispo Central Coast Memorial Society | 805-543-6133 |
P.O. Box 679, 93406-0679 | |
Santa Barbara Channel Cities Memorial Society | 805-640-0109 |
P.O. Box 1778, Ojai, CA 93024-1778 | 800-520-PLAN |
Santa Cruz Funeral and Memorial Society of Monterey Bay | 408-426-3308 |
P.O. Box 2900, 95063-2900 | |
Sebastopol Redwood Funeral Society | 707-824-8360 |
7735 Bodega Ave., #4, 95473 | |
Stockton San Joaquin Memorial Society | 209-465-2741 |
P.O. Box 4832, 95204-4832 | |
Colorado
Denver Rocky Mountain Memorial Society | 303-759-2800 |
4101 E. Hampden Ave., 80222 | |
Connecticut
Bridgewater Funeral Consumer Information Society of Connecticut | 860-350-4921 |
P.O. Box 34, 06752 | |
Delaware
Served by Memorial Society of Maryland
District of Columbia
Washington Memorial Society of Metropolitan Washington | 202-234-7777 |
1500 Harvard St. NW, 20009 | |
Florida
Cocoa Funeral and Memorial Society of Brevard County | 407-453-4109 |
P.O. Box 276, 32923-0276 | 407-636-3363 |
DeBary Funeral Society of Mid-Florida | 904-789-1682 |
P.O. Box 392, 32713-0392 | 407-668-6822 |
Ft. Myers Funeral and Memorial Society of Southwest Florida | 941-743-0109 |
P.O. Box 7756, 33911-7756 | |
Gainesville Memorial Society of Alachua County | 352-378-3432 |
P.O. Box 14662, 32604-4662 | |
Orlando Memorial and Funeral Society of Greater Orlando | 407-677-5009 |
P.O. Box 953, Goldenrod, FL 32733-0953 | |
Palm Beach Gardens Palm Beach Funeral Society | 561-659-4881 |
P.O. Box 31982, 33420 | |
Pensacola and Fort Walton Beach Funeral and Memorial Society of Pensacola and West Florida | 904-477-8431 |
7804 Northpointe Blvd., 32514 | |
Sarasota Memorial Society of Sarasota | 941-953-3740 |
P.O. Box 15833, 34277-5833 | |
St. Petersburg Suncoast-Tampa Bay Memorial Society | 813-898-3294 |
719 Arlington Ave. North, 33701 | |
Tallahassee Funeral and Memorial Society of Leon County | 850-224-2082 |
1006 Buena Vista Dr., 32304 | |
Tampa Memorial Society of Tampa Bay | |
45 Katherine Blvd., #307, Palm Harbor, 34684-3648 | |
Georgia
Atlanta Memorial Society-of Georgia | 404-634-2896 |
1911 Cliff Valley Way NE, 30329 | 800-840-4339 |
Macon Middle Georgia Chapter | 912-477-1691 |
4825 Brittany Dr., 31210 | |
Hawaii
Honolulu Memorial Society of Hawaii | 808-946-6822 |
2510 Bingham St., Room A, 96826 | |
Idaho
Boise Idaho Memorial Association | 208-343-4581 |
P.O. Box 1919, 83701-1919 | |
Illinois
Chicago Chicago Memorial Association
P.O. Box 2923, 60690-2923
Urbana Champaign County Memorial Society
309 West Green St., 61801
Indiana
Bloomington Bloomington Memorial Society | 812-332-3695 |
2120 North Fee Lane, 47408 | |
Indianapolis Indianapolis Memorial Society | |
5805 East 56th St., 46226 | |
Valparaiso Memorial Society of Northwest Indiana | 219-464-3024 |
P.O. Box 329, 46384-0329 | |
Iowa
Iowa City Memorial Society of Iowa River Valley | 319-338-2637 |
120 North Dubuque St., 52245 | |
For all other areas, call the FAMSA office | |
Kansas
Check Missouri or call the FAMSA office
Kentucky
Louisville Memorial Society of Greater Louisville
P.O. Box 5326, 40255-5326
Louisiana
Baton Rouge Memorial Society of Greater Baton Rouge
8470 Goodwood Ave., 70806
For other areas, call the FAMSA office
Maine
Auburn Memorial Society of Maine | 207-786-4323 |
P.O. Box 3122, 04212-3122 | |
Maryland
Bethesda Memorial Society of Maryland | 800-564-0017 |
9601 Cedar Lane, 20814 | |
Massachusetts
Boston The Memorial Society | 617-859-7990 |
66 Marlborough St., 02116 | |
East Orleans Memorial Society of Cape Cod | 508-862-2522 |
P.O. Box 1375, 02643-1375 | 800-976-9552 |
New Bedford Memorial Society of SE Mass. | 508-994-9686 |
71 Eighth St., 02740 | |
Springfield Memorial Society of Western Mass. | 413-783-7987 |
P.O. Box 2821, 01101-2821 | |