The Alexandra Series (35 page)

I opened for him, although anal entry was never something I got used to. It was a defiling, ravishing, uneasy submission to a carnal barbarian of a cultivated man. It reminded me that for all of Reggie’s high moral posturing and exquisitely genteel manner, he was as savage as my own desires that cheered him on.

“You lovely, lovely slut,” he whispered in a voice of lust I’ve rarely heard from him.

For a long while, we rocked together in our beastly heat. He burrowed in, then pulled out, then burrowed in again, and repeated his scheme until there was no discomfort in the act. I’d at last succumbed. By then my ass was just a portal for his use, and I gladly, like wanton harlot of old, relinquished to him. I wondered if he would have taken me without my body’s willing surrender. If I’d still gritted my teeth and bore down and suffered to the end. Something in me desired that kind of surrender as well, something akin to being raped.

But this was a different day. A different Alexandra. A different Reggie.

The more forcefully he thrust inside me, the more I wanted his dominion. He rode me long and hard, and I could have pleasured him this way for as long as he desired. But then, without warning, I heard a deep guttural bellow as he plunged one last time and held his groin against my read. I felt his pulsing organ deposit its seed, stunned by the spasms. My body spasmed back, and for a long while we seemed fused together in that heated moment before either of us was able to move.

Though he threatened to collapse against me exhausted, Reggie didn’t leave me hanging without a proper climax as I thought he might. Instead, he pushed me against the sheets, and with determined manipulation, he toyed with me until I felt the orgasm well inside and burst, all of a sudden. I wrenched, and bucked, and then finally slipped from his grasp.

I wouldn’t expect tenderness from him afterwards. I’m not sure I even wanted it considering the nature of our relationship, the way it had always been. It might have embarrassed us both for either one of us to have tried to be affectionate.

I rolled to one side and looked up at him. He sat on the bed in an uncharacteristic state of disarray. His hair was all askew, as were his clothes. The starched shirt was limp, wrinkled and unbuttoned; and his pants were somewhere on the floor.

“You look different after sex,” I remarked.

“Oh, how so?”

“Decidedly softer.”

“And so do you, Alex.”

If he’d called me Alexandra I might have flinched; when he calls me Alex I can anticipate some degree of friendliness.

“I suppose I should be softer the way you mauled me.”

“You didn’t like it?”

“You know I did. I’m just surprised.”

“Good, I like to surprise you, keep you guessing.” He almost looked happy.

I lounged against my comforter in my disorderly nakedness, with my rose colored hose in runs, and my garter belt all awry. At some point, the bra had been discarded altogether, though I don’t remember when. Reggie looked on me with an expression of lust, there was no other way to describe it, and that pleased me.

“You want to try your cock in my pussy?” I suggested, then thought to add, “After you clean up.”

He chuckled under his breath.

“No, your ass does very well. Maybe you’d like me to take it again before the night’s over.”

I cringed.

“Can’t take it?” He laughed.

“You’ve bruised me and abused me. Anymore tonight, and I’d think you really wanted me for something more than just a submissive to whale upon.”

“Oh, don’t ever think that,” he warned, turning serious.

I nodded. “This is good, we need to keep this relationship within the rules.” I was reminding myself there was no potential relationship here. I didn’t think I needed to remind him.

“At least I can take the liberties I want with you,” Reggie pointed out. “When you were entrenched with Will, I always thought it was disloyal to have you.”

“Really? But you had no problem arranging other exploits for me?”

“My screwing you wasn’t a problem for Will, it was a problem for me.”

“So, you have no moral dilemmas about that now?”

“Will doesn’t want you, remember?” The typical haughty twist wasn’t there, but the meaning was all the same. The reminder made me wince inside.

“You’re being awfully kind,” I said after staring at him some minutes.

“See, I can be nice.” He actually smiled.

He rose from the bed and circled it, until he was at my side, looking down on me. “You’re really one hell of a mess.”

I snickered. He leaned in and put his hand to my face, and stroked it ever so gently.

“And so are you,” I replied.

He noticed his disarray and turned away. “It doesn’t suit me, does it?”

I watched as he found his scattered clothes, and with careful precision replaced each piece, so that except for his slightly rumpled shirt, he looked as perfect as he usually did. He combed his hair back into place with one swipe of his comb. He was proficient at everything, and always very thorough. I had to remind myself that he was quite an angry animal when he was fucking me.

I grabbed a robe from the closet and threw it over my shoulders, joining Reggie in the living room. He was dismantling the video camera with the same precision that he used to put it up.

“Would you stay the night if I asked you to?”

“No,” he replied.

So much for affection, I thought to myself. Back to the same old Alex and Reg. It was rather comforting knowing that I didn’t have to think about him being anything more than my constant tormentor. If I was searching for someone to replace Will’s once generous affections, I was reminded again that it wouldn’t be Reggie.

“Don’t forget the point of this, Alex.” He sat down on my sofa and put the equipment carefully back into the black overnight bag.

“You mean Will who doesn’t want me?”

“All’s never lost,” he reminded me. “You wouldn’t be doing this if it weren’t for him.”

“Sometimes I wonder,” I said. “It seems a little hopeless.”

“You want to stop?” he asked, as if ending this charade wouldn’t bother him one way or another.

“No,” I answered immediately, though I wondered if it was the right response.

“Alex, you have to do this for Will, because you can’t do it for you and me. I know you. As much as you love the punishment, the pain, the abuse, the humiliation, and what will become tremendous embarrassment…” He said that with a knowing and mysterious twinkle in his eye. “You still need what Will gives you. You still need to be loved. Don’t lose sight of that.”

“I’ll try. Just sometimes, it seems like it would be easier if I could just forget about all the love crap and go merrily along pleasing myself with sex and not worry about pleasing anyone but me.”

“That’s what I get to do,” Reggie informed me. “You get to be in love and lust at the same time, and have all the problems with it.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“Hey, you probably get a lot more out of life than I do,” he added wistfully.

There was that sadness again. Little glimpses of some personal pain in Reggie made me want to reach out and hug him. Yuck! I thought as soon as the picture passed through my mind. Reg was not the kind of man to hug.

“Maybe someday, when this is over, and you’re not punishing me anymore, we could be friends?”

“I never thought it had to be any other way.” He’d finishing the careful packing. “Here,” he said. He handed me the video tape.

“For me?” I asked, surprised to see the thing in my hands.

“For Will,” he said. “That’s if you have the guts to give it to him.”

“My god, you don’t mean that…”

“That you show him proof of your sincerity? What better way?”

“That’s if I have the guts to give it to him. Couldn’t you do it for me?”

“Coward,” he accused me with an uncharacteristic grin.

“But…”

“But nothing. I told you, I would take your project, do my part, you’d have to do the rest. You’ll have to deal with Will and see where the cards land. I’m not doing a damn thing else.”

“So are we done?” I asked.

He looked like he might laugh. “Heavens no! What I have in mind for you is going to make you sweat and make you hurt and make both sets of cheeks blush. You’ll be so embarrassed, you’ll likely not want to show your face to me ever again.”

“Reggie!”

He laughed. “You’re such an easy target.”

He stood up, the bag in his hand, the video tape in mine.

“You won’t get very far if you don’t follow through,” he said, nodding at the tape.

“Probably not.”

I remained fixed in the same spot, as he walked to the door, gave me a nod and left me alone. Reggie was as much a mystery to me as he’d ever been. My body ached. My ass cheeks were sore, and my rear channel spasmed with pain and pleasure. I was, perhaps, as relinquished as I’d ever been, but I couldn’t think of that right now. The video tape was too clear a reminder of what was missing in my life.

Chapter Seven

“Alexandra!” His crisp, sharp voice coming over the phone gave me quite a jolt as I sat in my office pouring over a pile of work that I’d neglected much too long. It seemed that my life had been taken over by the ever present Reggie, while everything else suffered. And yet, hearing Reggie’s voice now came as an unexpected shock.

“Yes, yes, what do you want?” I asked him, when I was finally cognizant again.

“Your body,” he said flatly.

I could detect his displeasure at my less than eager reply. I was reminded instantly that he did have permission to have me whenever he chose. Permission I’d readily given him. Though I was finding that another punishment just days after the last was not a welcome prospect. Still, I was obliged to obey.

“When?” I replied to him, after a very long pause.

“This afternoon, and you’ll be tied up all evening.”

“Literally or figuratively?” I found myself joking.

“Maybe literally if your attitude doesn’t improve,” he replied curtly. “Of course, you do have a choice to end your penance anytime you want.”

“I know, and I don’t want to,” I rushed in, even though at that moment I wondered if the whole idea wasn’t a ridiculous mistake.

To think that in the end Will would take me back? It was beginning to sound absurd to me, and I was really getting too old to deal in absurdities. The very need I had for this just retribution, the very bizarre enjoyment – and it was enjoyment that I was gleaning from this submission to Reggie – seemed to be what kept me going with my plan. It was wise to be a creature of the moment, and not ponder if there was anything to be gained by this with Will. He could go either way, and I wouldn’t bet on his taking me back. No, I had to accept that this self imposed punishment was a necessary reminder of my yielding nature. If it wasn’t for Will, then perhaps it was for a future lover.

“I’ll see you at my office, four o’clock,” he said.

When I arrived at Reggie’s downtown office, I waited outside for at least forty minutes, though I wasn’t certain because I had forgotten my phone, and strangely there was no clock in the reception area where I sat.

When I was finally admitted into his office it was by Reggie himself coming to the door and motioning me inside. There was still a bustling business going on outside, but once stepping into his private sanctum, I was in another world with him, where there were few rules, and a multitude of odd possibilities available.

Reggie motioned me to sit in a chair before his desk, though rather than sit himself, he leaned casually against it while he addressed me. I looked into his cold blue eyes, wondering, for what must have been for the thousandth time, why we couldn’t have had a relationship. We had so very much in common, even though there were a few significant things about which we diverged.

“You do have the evening to give to me?” he asked.

“Do I have a choice?”

“Of course you have a choice,” he answered with some exasperation.

“I’m sorry, I’m anxious.”

“Maybe someday, you’ll just accept all this and you won’t have to be anxious,” he mused aloud.

I gave him a little half smile and waited for him to continue.

“Tonight you’ll be the centerpiece of a party a friend of mine is giving. A fantasy party.”

I must have looked puzzled.

“You’ll be posing in the role of a naughty school girl.”

“Really?” The thought was bizarre but Reggie was totally serious.

“Your pert ass will be the focus of the night. You’ll have it spanked and punished so thoroughly you’ll think you’ve died and gone to ‘submissive heaven.”

I might have smiled at the very idea, but I was a little alarmed by this announcement.

“You’ll find the entire experience one humiliating ride into your favorite brand of lust. I’d suggest that to get through the ordeal, you experience it as the lusty high drama that it’s intended to be. An adventure, and not an unpleasant one at that, if you take it in the right frame of mind. I know you’ll enjoy it at one level, but it would be nice if you would make a conscious decision to revel in it. Of course, that’s your choice. I can’t dictate what you’ll enjoy and what will revolt you.”