The Alchemy of Desire (15 page)

He called me
dear.

Chapter Sixteen

The tip of Diah’s nose burned from the cold and he pulled the buffalo hide up to cover it. He glanced at the gray sky overhead. The clouds to the east burned red and orange. The sun would be up soon to warm them. In the meantime, he enjoyed the heat from the small body that pressed against his.

Oni hadn’t moved since they fell asleep last night. Her arm still hugged his chest and her thigh pinned his to the ground. He stared at her peaceful expression and the way her lashes cast shadows on her cheeks, and something stirred within him. Yes, he still physically desired her, but he wanted to do more than just make love to her. He had a hard time thinking about how she could be gone from his life in less than a month. He wanted to keep her like this, in his arms, feeling her hand in his.

Her eyes fluttered, and she looked up at him and smiled. “Good morning,” she said with a sleepy smile. “Sleep well?”

“Amazingly so.” He kissed her forehead.

She licked her lips so they appeared full and moist. “Is that all?”

Diah glanced over his shoulder. Cager was still sound asleep. They had a few moments to themselves. His mouth curled up into a smile as he rolled her under him. She pulled his face closer to hers and he lowered his mouth to taste those luscious lips.

This is madness,
he thought as heat flooded his body and gathered in his groin. Yet he wasn’t ready quit. She sucked on his bottom lip and rubbed her pelvis against his erection. He had to stifle the moan that welled up. Like a crazed man, his hands roved under her dress and over the silky flesh of her stomach. He tugged at the top of her breeches. The burning desperation to get inside them grew with each flicker of her tongue in his mouth. He slid his fingers past the waistband and into the hot wetness between her thighs.

Oni gasped and threw her head back. Her breaths came sharp and fast as he stroked the tiny nub just inside her, and her nails dug into his back. She whimpered and arched her back, so his fingers pressed harder against her pleasure spot. And as he watched her enjoy his touch, his own desire increased.

“You know I can hear you two.”

Diah jerked his hand out of her pants and rolled over to see his brother lying across the fire pit with his arm flung over his eyes.

“Why do I feel there’s something terribly wrong with the universe? I’ve been reduced to hearing my brother have sex while I’m all alone over here.”

Oni squirmed out from under Diah. “Relax, Cager. We still have our clothes on. It’s too cold to be naked out here.”

“At least you have him to keep you warm.”

She laughed and threw back the buffalo hide. “I’ll get the fire going and start some coffee.”

The cold air hit Diah like a thousand little daggers and he shivered. Already, he craved her warmth. One of these days, he had to get her alone and finish things without Cager interrupting them.

That night, Diah followed Oni again as she scouted the area. He stood behind her on the bluff and watched her scan the river.

“We’re making good time. Maybe we’ll reach the fort a day earlier than I expected.”

He draped the buffalo hide over his shoulders like a cloak and pulled her closer to shield her from the wind. “That sounds good to me. I hope they have a lodging house with a private room and a nice soft bed with a warm down quilt.”

“Already tired of sleeping on the ground?” she teased.

“That’s not what I meant.” He lowered his head and nibbled on her ear.

She made a sound of contentment. “I know.”

“Sorry about this morning. I got carried away.”

“There’s no need to apologize. If you didn’t appear so embarrassed that Cager overheard us, I would have let you continue.”

He turned her so she faced him and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Oni, I want you to know that my feelings for you run deeper than just physical attraction, although I won’t deny that I want you in that way too.”

“I never doubted that.” She stroked his cheek, her eyes glistening in the starlight. “
Techihhila,
Diah.”

“That’s the second time you’ve said that to me.” He could feel the wrinkles forming in his brow. “What does that mean?”

“It means—” She paused and lowered her eyes. Like before, she avoided answering his question. “Maybe you should learn Lakota.”

“I’d be willing to learn if you’d tell me what you were really saying.”

“A girl needs to have her secrets.” She pushed away and walked back to the camp.

He followed and wondered how many more secrets she was keeping from him. He was beginning to think it was some sort of a game to her. She would open up to him one night and be closed the next. Or as Jim put it, she was trying her best to keep him away. And perhaps she had a good reason to. He tried to imagine her in Vicksburg with him, in a fancy dress with her hair pinned in some intricate knot, and his heart sank. She would have a difficult time adjusting to life there. Here, she was in her element, on the bare plains with an open sky full of stars.

Oni knelt in front of the fire. “I was telling Diah we may reach the fort in a couple of days.”

“Good.” Cager pulled his buffalo hide tighter around his shoulders. “I’m ready to have some warm clothes.” He sniffed his collar. “And something clean to wear. God, I miss civilization.”

She snickered. “Is it really that simple back East?”

“You were in St. Joseph. You saw how you can just walk into a store and get what you needed. Now imagine cities three times the size of St. Joseph.”

“I’ve never been farther east than St. Joseph, and even then, I chose to stay on the outskirts. I’ve never had any desire to be in a place with so many people you can’t walk down the street without bumping into someone, nor do I want to live in a place where the smoke chokes the air you breathe.”

Diah settled down next to her. “It’s not all like that. There are still plenty of open places back East.”

“Yeah, like home.” Cager stretched his legs out. “And people wondered why I couldn’t wait to leave.”

Oni leaned back against Diah and he wrapped the hide around her. “What’s your home like?” she asked.

Cager snorted. “It’s a glorified farm that’s now falling into ruin because we have to pay the slaves that stayed there after the war.”

Diah stiffened and she placed her hand over his fist. Her simple touch calmed him. “It’s not like Cager says. It’s just been difficult to manage things with Father gone and cotton prices being so low. I’ve been doing the best I can.”

“I’m not blaming you, Diah. Mom should have sold that place years ago and moved into the house in town.”

“She keeps hoping one of us will claim it.”

Cager crossed his arms. “Tell her to stop holding her breath on me. I’d never go back to Mississippi if I had a choice.”

“It’s not like you’ve been around much anyway.” The blood vessel along his temple began to throb. “You’ve always been too busy chasing somebody’s skirt to give a damn about the rest of us.”

“Well, at least I’m doing something I love instead of wasting my life away being miserably honorable. Let’s face it—you’re having a much better time with me than you’d be having back home.”

Diah started to disagree with him, but Oni stared at him as if waiting for his answer. If he said he would have been happier staying home, it would be a lie. He would have never met her and he realized how much she filled the emptiness inside him. “I won’t deny that, but I know what my responsibilities back home are.”

“So you plan on going back home once you’re found the White Buffalo?” she asked.

“I have to. Someone needs to look after our mother and sister.”

She grew more distant with each second. He was right in thinking she’d never follow him back to Vicksburg.

“You don’t have to take care of them. You just think you do.” Cager tossed a stick into the fire. “They’re quite capable of managing things without you. What do you think they’re doing right now? Maybe one day, Mom will get it through her thick head that she needs to stop clinging to the past and move on.”

Why did he feel like everyone was against him? If he stayed any longer, he might take another swing at this brother. The thought was tempting. Instead, he got up and decided to put some distance between them.

The cold night air was comforting at first, but as he walked farther away from the fire, he missed the buffalo hide he left behind. He started to lose feeling in the tips of his fingers. He clasped them together and blew his warm breath into the hollow space between his palms. As cold as he was, he wasn’t calm enough to return yet. How could his own brother be so selfish and callous? But then, again, Cager had always been that way. Except maybe that one time at Chickamauga.

The grass rustled behind him and he turned to see Oni with the blanket over her arms. She waited for him to acknowledge her and then wrapped it around him. “You shouldn’t be out here without something to keep you warm.”

She kept her distance and waited a few minutes before she said, “Do you feel you need to stay there because they truly need you, or do you stay to make amends with your father?”

Her question caught him like a slap in the face. “I have a certain obligation to my family, Oni.”

“I’m not saying you don’t. I’m just asking you what your true reason for staying in Vicksburg is. Would your family be happy knowing that you were sacrificing your dreams to take care of them, especially if they might not need your help?”

“Don’t you start on me too.”

She raised her hands and backed away. “I’ve said what’s on my mind, Diah. No one can tell you how to live your life but you. Just remember we women are not as helpless as we seem, even your delicate little Eastern girls.”

He watched her shadow return to the fire a hundred yards away. Oni was strong and could take care of herself. She didn’t need anybody to look out for her. But his mom and Hannah—did they have the same steeliness to them that she had?

He wondered if there was some truth in her accusations. Maybe he was just trying to fill in for his father. If he hadn’t run away to fight for the enemy, maybe his father wouldn’t have died so young. Guilt had nagged at him ever since he came home and held him prisoner. Had he served his sentence?

Cager was right about the plantation slowly falling apart under his management. He never had a head for farming. The only thing he’d ever been good at was alchemy. Was his mother still holding on to the land because she thought he wanted it? If he left, would she sell it and move to the city? She and Hannah already spent most of the year there as it was.

The more he pondered the options, the more he realized that clinging to the past was holding everyone back. But he still needed to go back at least one more time to convince himself that his mother and sister would be fine without him.

He was going to miss Oni, though. Miss feeling her body next to his. Miss her sweet kisses. Miss the way she looked at him as though he was the only man in the world. Miss how much more of a man he was when she was with him.

Would she wait for him to come back?

Chapter Seventeen

It was midafternoon on the fourth day when Oni spotted the new fort on the Missouri River. The raw wood buildings shone in the sunlight, not yet dulled by the wind and rain. As they came closer, she caught glimpses of men in blue running around the grounds. The army was well-established here already and she wondered if Hinkle had beaten them to the fort.

She stopped Esnella and waited for the others to do the same. “Let’s form a plan before I go in there.”

“You?”

“Yes, me, by myself, Diah. Remember, Hinkle said he sent out wanted posters with your names and descriptions on them and, no offense, you tend to stand out.” Even with the variety in white men, someone with his size and hair color was bound to attract unwanted attention. “To them, I’m just another squaw and it’s difficult for them to tell me apart from any other Sioux woman.”

“She has a point,” Cager agreed. “So what do you suggest we do, Oni?”

She searched the river for a suitable place for them to hide. Across the river, the railroad crews labored on the metal snake of tracks that stretched back East as far as she could see, and a few houses stood to break up the horizon. Perhaps it would be safer to go over there to find them clothes, although she doubted they would have much in the way of supplies. At last, she pointed to a grove of trees at the tip of a bend in the river.

“Wait there for me and I’ll go grab you some clothes. Hopefully, I can find something that’ll fit. But I’ll need money.”

Cager scowled as he reached into his coat and pulled some bills out of his wallet. “This expedition is growing more and more expensive by the day.”

She took the money and secured it in the pouch on her belt.

Diah frowned as his eye flickered between the two settlements. “Oni, why don’t we go to that town across the river? It seems safer than trying to go into the fort.”

“Are you willing to take a swim in the river with it being as cold as it is?”

“I was thinking more along the lines of building a boat of some sort to get us across—”

A gust of wind blew past them and Cager rubbed his arms. “That will take too long. I just want to get some thicker clothes and get the hell away from here.”

Diah kicked at a pebble. “It was only a suggestion. I guess I don’t want you going in there alone, especially if Hinkle’s there.”

“If really worries you, I’ll find a way across the river and go to the railroad camp, but I’ll need your help.”

She led them to a couple of fallen logs on the banks and they strapped them together with some of the rope in their packs. After they pushed the makeshift raft into the river, she hopped on.

Diah held the end of the logs. “Are you sure one of us can’t come with you?”

“This raft is barely enough to handle me. If I’m not back by sunset, then you can worry. Otherwise, let me get going.”

He released her and she paddled across the muddy river using a long branch. When she reached the other side, they were still watching her and she waved them away. They needed to be hiding, not standing around waiting to be captured by Hinkle’s men.

She hiked to the camp with her pack slung across her shoulders and found a small mercantile. When she passed a group of soldiers on her way into the store, she lowered her eyes and hoped no one recognized her. The man behind the counter watched her with a frown as she looked at what little they had in ready-made clothing.

“I need some clothes for my husband and his brother,” she asked, breaking the uneasy silence.

His jaw went slack. “You speak English?”

“Yes. are you going to help me or not?”

“Depends on what you have to pay with. I ain’t running this place on trade.”

She leaned on the counter and almost laughed when he backed away. “I have greenbacks. But if you’re not interested, then I can see what they have at the fort.”

“No, I’m sure I’ve got something here that will do.”

She spent the next hour going through every pair of trousers, every shirt, every fur-lined coat he had. Finding stuff for Cager was easy—he was smaller than his brother. Diah was a whole other issue. In the end, she bought what she hoped would fit him and added a pair of scissors and some needles and thread to her purchase. If worst came to worst, she could always make something out of the buffalo hides.

Oni stowed the clothes in her pack and left the store clerk with a big smile on his face as he counted the bills.

“Excuse me,” someone said beside her as a hand wrapped around her upper arm. She looked up at one of the soldiers she’d passed earlier. “Would you mind coming with me?”

“Let go of me.” She tried to jerk her arm free.

“Sir, is this the Indian woman Colonel Hinkle’s looking for? I overheard her say she was buying clothes for two men.”

Their sergeant approached and looked her over from head to toe. “I can’t be sure, but I don’t want to take any chances. Let’s take her to him. If it’s her, we’ve done our duty. If it isn’t, then we can let her go.”

“Where are you taking me? What are you talking about?” No one answered her questions, and she dug her nails into the hand of the soldier who held her arm. He yelped and released her.

“You shouldn’t do things like that.” The sergeant pointed his revolver at her. “If you’re innocent, you have nothing to worry about. We just want to make sure you’re not the woman who helped two fugitives escape from Fort Pierre a couple of weeks ago. Now come along peacefully and nobody gets hurt.”

With a gun pressing between her shoulder blades, she had little alternative other than to comply. She’d have to figure out how to escape along the way. They led her to a raft and ferried her across. Stars above, she hoped the boys wouldn’t do something stupid like try to come after her.

Once they reached the other bank, the soldiers escorted her to a small house inside the fort. Fear choked her. She wasn’t ready to face Hinkle again, but if she needed to shift in front of him to avoid getting killed, she’d risk it and let other people think he was insane when he told them about her.

In a side room off the main entrance, Hinkle sat near a stove talking to another officer. The sergeant waited until they turned to face them before saying, “Sir, we found her at the railroad camp buying men’s clothing. She fit the description of the woman you were looking for.”

The sick pleasure in his grin twisted her stomach in knots. “Yes, this is her. That means the Reynolds brothers probably aren’t too far away. Send a team out to scout for them, Sergeant Stiles.”

“Yes, sir.” He left her alone with Hinkle and his fellow officer.

“Good evening, Oni,” he said with a smirk. “What a pleasure it is to see you again. Would you be so kind as to tell us where your companions are so we don’t have to waste time hunting them down?”

“I lost track of them after we left Fort Pierre. My guess is they’re halfway back to Vicksburg by now.”

“You need to work on your lying, especially if you want to be more convincing.”

“But I’m telling the truth. You won’t find them anywhere near here.”

“As if an Indian was capable of telling the truth,” the other officer said. Her eyes locked on the wand attached to his belt. A Wielder.

“Very true, Jenkins.” Hinkle stood and stalked her. “Are you going to play nice this time?”

“What do you think?”

“Ooh, she’s feisty, isn’t she?” Jenkins said from his chair.

Hinkle nodded and she felt the gun at her back again. Then he grabbed her dagger. “I don’t want you using this again.” He ran his finger along the fresh scar from his ear to his jaw. “No need for anyone to get hurt.”

Although she felt slightly smug at seeing that she made a lasting impression on him, it did little to calm her pounding heart. He needed to get his hands off her dagger.

He flipped it over and admired it. “It’s quite a pretty thing.”

“Let me see it.” Hinkle gave it to Jenkins, who studied the veins of orichalcum in the blade. “This is no ordinary knife, Hinkle. It’s a wand.”

Hinkle paled and cleared his throat. “Leave us alone with the Injun.”

The soldier behind her removed the gun and closed the doors behind him.

“Very clever, disguising your wand as a weapon. I’m not even going to ask if you have a license for this.” Jenkins pressed his finger against the tip and hissed when a dot of red welled up at the site. “It serves more than one purpose, I see.”

“I could have told you that.” Hinkle returned to his chair. “Where did you steal that from?”

“It was my father’s.”

“And probably his father’s before that, judging by the craftsmanship. This is exquisite. I may have to keep it for myself.”

“No, please, give it back.” She dug her teeth into her lip to prevent herself from saying more. She didn’t mean for that to slip out, but she’d always had that dagger. It was her only connection to her father.

“We can’t have you running around here with an unlicensed wand, now, can we?”

“I’m not a Wielder. It only has emotional value for me.”

Jenkins pointed it at her. “Then answer Colonel Hinkle’s questions and maybe you’ll get it back.”

Oni gritted her teeth. Could she grab one of the vials of black fire left in her pouch and launch it at them before he cast a spell? Of course, the heat of the explosion would destroy her wand, but it would be worth it to get away from these madmen. “I’ve already told him I don’t know where to find what he’s looking for.”

Hinkle’s eyes slid to Jenkins and he nodded. A flash erupted from the tip of the dagger, and a wall of pain slammed into her, knocking her to the ground and driving the air from her lungs.
Stars above, why did he do that?

“You see, Oni, you can make this easy on yourself by cooperating, or you can scream.”

“Drop dead, Hinkle.”

“That wasn’t the answer I was looking for.”

Another wave of pain filled her, as though her skin had been set on fire. Tears welled up in her eyes, but she wouldn’t give in to them.

“Where can I find the White Buffalo?”

She rolled over on to her back and starting laughing manically to ease the waves that seemed to burn her flesh. “I can’t tell you what I don’t know.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw them exchange glances. She lowered her hand to her pouch.

“Stubborn, isn’t she?”

“Perhaps you should show her that we mean business, Jenkins.”

As her fingers clasped around the buckle to open her pouch, he unleashed another spell. Spasms racked her body and she could no longer contain her screams.