The Agent (31 page)

The guard in the grey uniform looked down the hall. “Where is your escort?”

“Uh, he’s in there too.”

The sensitive looked at the door. “They are sharing the privy?”

Garran leaned close and whispered conspiratorially, “Truth be told, my niece is a bit of a slut, and she took a fancy to Philip. You know how these Artemisian girls are. What with the strictures of Urqua’s decency laws, poor Philip was powerless to resist her charms and succumbed to her advances. Surely you wouldn’t be so cruel as to disrupt a young man’s dalliance?”

The man looked at the door skeptically.

“Either join us or go away,” Elroy called through the door. “Your talking is very distracting!”

The sensitive gave Garran a flat look. “Stick to the main hallway.”

“Of course. Could you be a good man and have someone bring a carriage around to the courtyard?”

The man scowled but nodded his head before stalking away with his contingent. Garran waited until he no longer heard the clacking of boot heels from either guard force before announcing the all clear.

Elroy emerged from the privy and grinned. “This is fun!”

“This is dangerous,” Garran countered. “Keep focused.”

Adam said, “Without Philip around, there’s no need for me to maintain the veil. The hallways are dim enough that no one is likely to recognize Elroy without getting so close that a sensitive would already have picked up on my magic.”

“All right, we’ll just have to do our best to avoid the patrols. You might have to enhance our disguises to get us past the soldiers at the door, but we should be fine once we’re outside.”

Adam nodded and they resumed a cautious but hasty march toward the exit. The soldiers at the door leading out were far more attentive toward anyone gaining entrance than those seeking to leave, so Adam elected not to reinforce Elroy’s disguise with his magic.

They found a coach with a driver half-asleep on the bench waiting for them in the courtyard. Garran roused the man and told him the name of the inn in which they were staying as he climbed inside behind Adam and Elroy. The moment the carriage began to move, Liam burst from Garran’s confining robes, gasping for breath and kicking himself free of the restraining harness.

“That was the most horrifying thing I have ever experienced in my life!” Liam exclaimed as he clambered onto the seat next to Adam. “Mind you, I make that statement with all honesty even having watched my family burn to death in a fire!”

Adam laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I know how you feel. I had to share a very small tent with him. It took days for me to get accustomed to the smell.”

Liam vigorously shook his head and looked at Adam out of the corner of his eye. “No, it was far worse than that. Setting aside the fact that he farted no less than six times—”

“It was an accident! The stairs shook them loose,” Garran exclaimed.

“I felt your stomach tighten as you pushed out each one!”

Garran shook as he chuckled. “You felt that? Anyway, it was five. The last one wasn’t really a fart. I was on a streak, gambled, and lost. I guess technically I’m still on a streak, only one of a different kind.”

“Real mature. Setting aside his milk-curdling expulsions, he became exposed!”

“For God’s sake, Garran!” Adam exclaimed.

“What? You know I can’t be blamed for trouser failure. We’ve been over this.”

“They aren’t even the same pants! You lost the others weeks ago!”

“Obviously they are made by the same manufacturer and suffer from a similar defect.”

“The only thing that is defective is that gob of grey mush between your ears!”

“I do not know what my sister is paying you,” Elroy butted in, “but she was obviously on a very tight budget. Either that or she lost some sort of bet. I cannot think of any other reason for her enlisting aid from the likes of you all.”

“Hey, we got you out!” Garran snapped.

“Luck has seemed to favor you thus far. We shall see if it holds until we reach Artemisia.”

“I will have you know—”

The carriage rolled to a stop, and the driver announced that they had reached the inn. “Will you have further need of my services, sir?” the driver asked when they climbed out.

“No, we’re fine, thank you,” Garran answered.

“As you wish,” the driver said and held out his hand.

Garran paused a moment before reaching up and giving it a firm shake. The driver sniffed, flicked the reins, and drove the carriage away with great agitation.

“I think he wanted a tip,” Adam said.

Liam snorted. “Figures that he’s as cheap as he is disgusting.”

“I gave you a tip, and all you did was complain.”

“I guess it’s a good thing a tip is all you have to give.”

Garran raised an open hand. “Boy, I will slap the crap right out of you here and now!”

“What you need to do is slap the crap out of your drawers!”

“I don’t wear any!”

“A fact of which I am all too familiar!”

“Both of you stop it!” Adam demanded. “Garran, what do we do now?”

Garran glared at Liam and raised a finger in warning. “We need to grab our gear and get out of here. Elroy, you will need to stay in that getup a while longer and use Liam’s papers to get through the gate. Liam, I had someone in town draft some new documents for you that should be good enough to get you out of the city as a hired servant.”

“We’re leaving now?” Elroy whined. “But it isn’t even light yet, and I am positively exhausted.”

“You don’t know the meaning of exhausted, but you will soon enough. It will be light within an hour, so it’s not an unreasonable time for anyone with long trip ahead to get an early start.”

“It is damned unreasonable to me,” Elroy muttered.

Garran left for the stables to retrieve their horses while Adam, Liam, and Elroy went to the room to fetch the packs. Adam shouldered his rucksack along with Garran’s weapons wrapped in a bedroll and handed Elroy a sack with a shoulder strap.

Elroy took the bag as of it might contain severed heads. “What is this?”

“Traveling clothes,” Adam answered.

Elroy looked into the bag and pawed at the clothing inside. “To where are we traveling, hell? Hell is the only place I can imagine where I would be forced to dress like a blind beggar.”

“We are escaping Urqua, not going to a ball,” Adam chided.

Elroy closed the bag and looked wistfully at the ceiling. “Oh, it has been so long since I have been to a proper gala. I do so love the balls in Artemisia.”

“There and anywhere else you can find them, I’m sure,” Liam retorted with a snort.

Elroy glared at Liam. “Ass.”

“Popinjay.”

“Cretin!”

“Poof!”

Elroy gasped and stepped back, his hand pressed to his mouth.

“Will you two stop your bickering?” Adam chided. “You’re both acting like a couple of children.”

“He is a child,” Elroy said.

“More of a man than you,” Liam retorted.

“Stop it! Elroy, this is going to be something of a rough journey. We do not have a lot of time, and we are certain to have a chase party after us the moment they discover you are gone, if they have not already. Close your mouth, shoulder your bag, and let’s go.”

“Fine, but you can bet my sister will hear of my plebeian treatment. I fully expect it to affect whatever pittance she is paying you for my return.”

“I am sure she will be happy just to see you, although I begin to wonder why more and more with each passing minute.”

Not wanting to leave it to Garran, Adam settled their bill with the innkeeper before leaving. He found Garran waiting for them with the horses.

Elroy looked at the animals with obvious disdain. “What is this?”

“These are called horses,” Garran answered. “People ride them in order to get from one location to another, particularly when in a hurry.”

“I know what they are. Shouldn’t they be attached to a carriage?”

“No. Not only do we not have one, carriages make for a rather poor method of escape.”

“You cannot possibly expect me to ride some beast of burden like a peasant or common soldier.”

“You can sit in the saddle or get tied to it. It’s your choice, but you will ride out of here on the back of that horse.”

“You would not dare!”

“You would be amazed at what I dare. This would not even make the top twenty of my most audacious dares. Now, get your skinny, pampered, powdered ass in that saddle.”

Elroy huffed loudly as he fought to hoist himself into the saddle. “It’s a good thing it is powdered, although I am still certain to get rubbed raw.”

“I’m sure it won’t be first time.”

Elroy sniffed and refused to look at him further. Garran led the way to the city gates as the rising sun was slowly changing the tint of the horizon. A guard stepped forward as they approached and halted them with a raised hand.

“Papers,” the guard demanded.

Garran took everyone’s travel documents and handed them to the soldier who then looked over each one. He motioned toward the small building built into the inside wall, and another guard appeared with a thick ledger. The first guard flipped through the pages until he found their names in the book.

“You just arrived yesterday afternoon. Why are you leaving so soon?”

“Our mission is complete, and Queen Isobel is anxious for our report.”

“Yesterday there was three in your party. Now there are four.”

“We ran into some trouble yesterday and hired a local to escort us to the border.”

“He is little more than a boy. What help can he be?”

Garran shrugged. “We got what we could afford.”

The guard studied Liam’s fake documents. “These are not right.”

“Of course they are. Look closely at the bottom. They have the chancellor’s signature and everything.”

The guard leaned closer to the lantern his compatriot held and brought the paper nearer to his face. Sensing what Garran was about to do, Adam interjected.

“The papers are fine!” he insisted, lacing his voice with hypnotic power.

The guard looked up at him and scowled back at the document.

“The papers are fine,” Adam said again.

The soldier handed Garran their travel documents. “Your papers are fine. Go.”

Garran took the documents and spurred his mount into a trot. He set a quick pace to put as much distance between them and the city as he could. If they were very lucky, they might get a few hours head start on anyone sent to hunt them down.

Elroy remained blessedly silent until Garran directed them off the road and onto a path used by hunters, foresters, and black marketers. From that point, it was two and a half days of unrelenting complaining. When it began raining, Elroy whined about being cold and wet. When the sun shone, he complained of the heat and the damage it did to his skin. He begged to stop and rest nearly every hour. When exhaustion finally forced Garran to relent and stop for a brief respite, it took nearly an hour of coaxing and threatening to get the Prince back into the saddle, after which he protested the deep inadequacy of the few hours of sleep.

“We should have crossed the border about three hours ago,” Garran declared. “It should be reasonably safe to get back on the road, start trading out for fresh horses, and make better time.”

“Oh, goodie,” Elroy decried, “we can ride even farther during the day. Is it just me you enjoy torturing, or are you some sort of masochist in general?”

“You ask as if it can’t be both.” Garran looked around the small clearing. “We’ll camp here for the remainder of the day and head out again in the morning. That should give even Princess Pampered Puss enough time to recover.”

“My sister will hear of you boorish treatment, so do not be the least bit surprised should you find your payment drastically reduced.”

“If you don’t cease your incessant whining, you can expect your tongue to be drastically reduced.”

“Your threats are going to cost you dearly, I promise you!” Elroy spun around and stalked toward the woods.

“Where are you going?” Garran asked.

“I need a respite!” Elroy rubbed his sore backside with his hands. “My poor posterior is unaccustomed to such brutal treatment.”

Liam smirked. “I’m sure you mean recently. I don’t think a forever statement will hold up to even the slightest bit of scrutiny.”

“Liam, keep an eye on him,” Garran ordered.

“He might be a twit, but I think he can go take a piss by himself.”

“I’m not so sure. We’re fugitives, and I don’t want anyone going off by themselves. We can’t take the chance of anything happening to Elroy before we deliver him to his sister.”

“Fine,” Liam groaned.

Garran gathered some wood and started a fire. Adam set up a small cooking stand and suspended a kettle of beans over the flames before erecting the tents.

“I have been on a few royal escort duties in my time, but he is by far the most insufferable,” Garran said as he sat and waited for the beans to cook.