The Affair (16 page)

“Great idea.”

“But that doesn’t answer the question I asked earlier: Are you going to spend the night with me? Should I wait up?”

Robert grinned. “If I do spend the night, I’ll be sleeping. You exhaust me.”

“If you can get to me before one o’clock, then come over. But if you’re going to be any later, then forget it. Text me when you’ve got an idea what’s happening.”

“Good plan.”

Stephanie appeared out of the bathroom, looking immaculate and composed.

“There is no way to tell that less than half an hour ago you were lying on this table making passionate love.”

Stephanie blinked at him in surprise. “I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about, Mr. Walker. I was closing a very important business deal.” She leaned over and kissed him, a gossamer brushing of her lips against his. “And I do like the way you close a deal,” she added.

W
hen Stephanie left, Robert tried to put some order back in the office. It looked as if a bomb had gone off in it. Papers were scattered all over the floor, some of them clearly bearing the imprint of damp bare feet, others crushed beyond all recognition. He made a note to reprint them. Making love with Stephanie could not be done in halves. At the point of orgasm she cried aloud, a sound between a grunt and a shout of pain. It wasn’t so bad in the office, but he was sure that the neighbors in the condos adjoining hers could clearly hear what was going on. In the beginning it had embarrassed him; now he had no such reservations. It was another of Stephanie’s gifts: She had taught him to let go, to be free.

Clearing up the papers, he turned his attention to the table. It was covered with sweaty palm prints, and there was the clear imprint of a bottom on the polished wood. He found some paper towels and furniture polish under the sink in the tiny kitchen and set to work on it.

It was just after six when he finished. He sprayed some citrus air freshener around the room to disguise the scent of sex, then stood back to examine his handiwork. The office looked pristine, the table gleaming, papers piled neatly, pens arranged alongside. Hard to image that two naked people had recently cavorted there.

Robert hit the speed dial on his desk phone to call home.

“Hello?”

For an instant he thought he had phoned the wrong number. It sounded like Kathy’s voice, but altered somewhat.

“Hello?”

Then he recognized his sister-in-law Julia’s waspish tone. He forced a pleasant tone into his voice. “Julia, it’s Robert.”

“I thought it was.”

“I take it if you’re there, then Kathy isn’t.”

“She had a few things to do; I said I’d keep an eye on the children, though, to be perfectly honest,” she added quickly, “they’re old enough to look after themselves.”

“I agree, but at least if you’re there, they’ll study rather than just watch TV,” he said, unconsciously mirroring the same words his wife had used a little earlier that day. “Can I speak to Brendan—is he nearby?”

Robert had no time for Julia. There was simply too much bad blood between them, going back over too many years; she considered him beneath her sister, and he thought Julia was a stuck-up cow. He often sympathized with Ben, a shy Brit who was her long-suffering husband.

“Dad?”

“Bren. Where’s your mom?”

“Gone into town.”

“Why?”

“I dunno, but she’s left Aunt Julia in charge of us,” Brendan added, lowering his voice to a whisper. “Seriously, Dad. I’m seventeen; I don’t need a babysitter.”

“I know. How long has your mother been gone?”

“Twenty minutes, maybe half an hour. Can we order takeout tonight?”

“Didn’t you order in last night?”

“We did. But there’s nothing in the fridge.”

Robert frowned. That was unlike Kathy. She usually kept a packed refrigerator and shopped at Trader Joe’s once a week, filling both the freezer and the fridge with a huge variety of foodstuffs. She was a wonderful mother, and the children wanted for nothing. “Any idea where she’s gone?”

“No idea. She just kinda announced it out of the blue.”

“That’s all she said? Nothing else?”

“Oh, yeah. She wondered what you’d given her for Christmas last year. Maybe she’s gone into town looking for your present.”

“Maybe.” He experienced a twinge of guilt. He still hadn’t gotten Kathy her present, and he had sworn, after last year’s debacle, when he’d ended up grabbing a few things at Macy’s, that he’d get her something nice this year. “I’ll call her on the cell. Be good for Julia. I’ll be home late tonight.”

“Later, Dad.” Brendan hung up.

Robert sat at his desk and tried to make sense out of what he had just heard. Kathy did and didn’t do many things, but she never did anything without a good reason. Why was she coming into the city, for Christ’s sake? Especially when she hated to drive. He hit another speed dial and transferred the call to the speaker. It rang six times before it connected.

“Kathy, where are you?”

“In the car.”

Robert took a deep breath. He knew she was in the car; he was calling her on her cell. Telling him that she was in the car was telling him nothing. If anything, it proved that she was still pissed off at him. He wasn’t quite sure what it was about this time, but lately there didn’t need to be a reason. He tried a different tack. “I’ve just called home. The kids told me you’re heading into the city to go shopping.” Even as he was saying it, he was aware of just how ludicrous it sounded.

“Yes,” Kathy said, her voice neutral and flat.

Robert put his elbows on his desk and cradled his head in his hands. “Kathy, I really don’t think this is a good idea. Traffic is shit, and the weather is closing in. Forecasters are promising more snow and maybe black ice this evening.”

“I need to get a few things. I thought I’d head to Newbury Street,” she pressed on, ignoring him. “If there’s a problem with the weather, I could always drop into Top of the Hub, meet you there. We can drive home in your car, and I’ll come in with you in the morning to pick up my car.”

Somewhere at the back of his mind a warning bell—a tiny, bitter sound—went off. Something was amiss. Why was she coming into town in the first place, and why was she talking about popping into Top of the Hub? It was almost as if she was checking up on him. “Did I lose you?” he asked when he realized that there had been a long moment of silence.

“I’m still here,” she said shortly. “Where are you?”

“Still at the office. Jimmy’s coming here around seven.” There was a crackle of static. “I really don’t think it’s a good idea to head into the city tonight. And if I have a few drinks with Jimmy, I might have to leave the car myself. That’ll be two cars in town. I was half thinking I might even stay overnight. He says I can crash at his apartment.”

There was another long pause.

“Kathy . . . ?” he asked eventually.

“You’re breaking up. I can hardly hear you.” He could barely make out her static-laden gibberish as the phone kept cutting out. Why did she want to meet him? It was completely out of character for his wife to behave like this. And there had definitely been a note of suspicion in her voice. He’d lived with her long enough to recognize it. He’d heard it before, on that terrible occasion when she’d accused him of having an affair. But she didn’t know . . . she couldn’t know about Stephanie. Could she? No, he’d been too careful.

“Can’t you get what you’re looking for in Brookline?”

“No.” Suddenly her voice was crystal clear again. “I’ll see you at Top of the Hub later.”

“No, not Top of the Hub.”

“I thought you said last night you were going to Top of the Hub. . . .”

“Kathy, I’m having trouble hearing you. Listen, there was a screw-up. I phoned earlier to confirm, and they couldn’t find the reservation.”

There was a slight pause before Kathy answered. “So where are you going to go?”

“Don’t know yet.”

“Well, look, call me when you find a place, and I’ll drop by.”

Robert nodded. That was the third time in the same conversation she’d made a definite reference to dropping by and seeing him. He couldn’t remember the last time—certainly not in the last year, maybe even the last two years—that she’d made such a suggestion. She was definitely suspicious. He frowned. Had he said or done something to alert her? Had someone said something? Had she discovered something?

“I haven’t seen Jimmy for ages. How is Angela?”

“They’ve separated. He wants a divorce. She says no.”

“Listen, I’ve got to go. There’s a cop nearby, and I shouldn’t be on my cell.”

The phone immediately went dead, and the office descended into silence. Maybe she really was just doing some last-minute Christmas shopping. Why was he suddenly acting so paranoid?

He’d never set out to have an affair with Stephanie, but once it had happened, it was the most exciting thing in his life. But he was also determined that he would do nothing in the world to upset Kathy. He’d spent eighteen years of his married life protecting and looking after her; he would continue to do that. He wasn’t one of those men who went to bed with a woman and was then forced by a guilty conscience to confess everything. But there would come a time when Kathy would find out. And the longer it went on, the greater the likelihood became. How much longer could he keep it from his wife? And what would happen when she found out?

He had never imagined that the affair with Stephanie would continue on for this length of time. At first he had thought they’d drift apart after a couple of weeks or even months; instead, the affair had deepened; it had intensified.

And then it became complicated.

He had actually been on the verge of breaking up with Stephanie almost eleven months earlier. He’d gone through an intensely busy patch looking for work, and they hadn’t seen each other for the best part of a month. In that time, he had made the decision to break it off; he was becoming fearful of the feelings he was having for the woman. This was no longer about sex or affection or some combination of the two: This was love.

He had decided he would speak to her on a Friday night. He would invite her around to the office and break the news gently over an expensive bottle of wine. They would remain friends, but he could no longer be her lover. That was the plan. But on that Wednesday she’d come to him with a proposal. She knew R&K was in trouble, and she suddenly found herself in a position to send a little business his way, good business, lucrative business. Was he interested?

R&K wasn’t just in trouble; the company was on the verge of going under. Of course he was interested. Stephanie only had one condition: No one in her office must know that they were involved. She could lose her job if people knew she was directing contracts toward her lover’s company. There was nothing illegal about what she was doing, but there was certainly a conflict of interest. As long as she pushed him for the lowest possible price, people wouldn’t suspect her favoritism.

That single connection kept the company afloat.

Suddenly he couldn’t let her go; he couldn’t afford to. The jobs, large and small, that she sent his way had saved R&K from going bankrupt.

But if they got the DaBoyz contract, things would be different. He wouldn’t need to rely so heavily on Stephanie for work. Also, because of some of the other work she had gotten him, small jobs had started to trickle his way again. Referrals. It was mainly advertising work, shooting infomercials, which he hated, but which paid the bills. He also knew R&K was in the running to shoot the new Zipcar ad, and he’d pitched what he thought was a very good idea for the forthcoming Sam Adams campaign.

After Christmas, he would break up with her. She’d understand; he was sure she would. She’d see the sense in it. They were having fun, but the instant gratification of sex and companionship wasn’t worth the emotional stress he was starting to feel. He was starting to get an ulcer. He couldn’t carry on this way, splitting himself in two.

Christmas really highlighted the problems of trying to juggle a wife and a mistress. The lies became even more complicated.

He desperately wanted to spend time with Stephanie—it was always fun and sexy; they would laugh and eat and make love. Kathy, on the other hand, might condescend to speak to him and, then again, she might not. There was usually an argument over something—these days there almost always was. So really there was no argument about whom he wanted to spend Christmas with . . . except. . . there were the children to consider. He couldn’t very well spend Christmas away from his children.... It was out of the question.

Robert got up and began to move around the office, shutting off lights and locking up for the night. He glanced at his watch; where was Jimmy?

Robert was extremely proud of Brendan and Theresa. He could truthfully say that they had brought nothing but joy into his life. And he would never hurt them. He loved the way they looked up to him, the way they came to him for advice, the way they shared their triumphs and disasters with him. He was devoted to his children. He loved them and they loved him, of that he had absolutely no doubts.

And he couldn’t afford to lose that love.

That would destroy him.

His own father, Robert Senior, had been a cold, distant, aloof man. Not once did Robert remember his father being proud of him or saying, “I love you.” His own kids would not be able to say that; he constantly told them how proud he was of them and made sure to tell them that he loved them every day. If it ever came to a toss-up between the children and Stephanie, then Stephanie would lose.

It was a cliché to say that he was staying with Kathy for the sake of the children, but it was very close to the truth. There were so many great things in his life—including Kathy, when she was in a good mood—and he knew that his affair with Stephanie was casting a shadow over all of them. One slip, one stupid mistake, and he stood to lose everything. The few friends he and Kathy had were joint friends—he’d probably find himself ostracized by them. At least he’d be able to hang on to the business.... Except, he realized with a sinking feeling, Kathy owned half of it. What would happen if they split up? He veered away from that thought; it was not going to happen.