The Adventures of Phineas Frakture (8 page)

Episode
3

There was a collective gasp from the crowd as the mummy was revealed. A few cries from some of the ladies, faint of heart, rang out as they collapsed from the sight before them. Abigail and Phineas, on the other hand, were already out of their seats and leaning on the stage to get a closer look at the body before them.

Steamhotep, as Cavanaugh called him, was a blend of both man and machine. Clockwork was visible through ragged holes in his desiccated, mummified flesh underneath the ancient bandage wraps. An ocular implant covered his left eye, and his left arm had been replaced below the elbow by a prosthetic limb, ending in a spanner wrench that matched the decoration on the sarcophagus lid.

“Amazing,” murmured Abigail as she took in the sight before them.

“Simply amazing,” said Cavanaugh’s voice above them.

Phineas looked up to see Cavanaugh leering down at them, or rather at Abigail. Phineas scowled and pulled her back to their seats.

“Yes, simply amazing,” Cavanaugh repeated, much louder this time. “The scientific community now has its proof that the Egyptians were far ahead of their time in technology. But was this man a normal sample of their technology or something far more? This is the question that now plagues us. If there is one, there are bound to be others. We need to find out if this is true. Based on the evidence before you, I intend to embark upon a new expedition to further our knowledge of these ancient inventors so that we may surpass what they knew!”

“What a dolt,” said Phineas to William. “We already have surpassed those primitives a hundred-fold, and he acts like they held the secrets of Atlantis.”

Cavanaugh continued by giving the audience a huge smile. “Of course, an expedition of this magnitude will not be cheap. Although I am a man of affluent means, I cannot fund such an undertaking on my own, and benefactors are an important part of the discovery process.
You
can further science and our understanding of history by finding it in your hearts to assist us. In return, you will receive a certificate and an autographed photograph of
me
, suitable for framing! Donations for the expedition will be taken on your way out. Please give generously to further science and to have
your
name emblazoned on history forever!”

Phineas rolled his eyes and stood up. “A money pitch…I should have known. This is all probably a fabricated get-rich-quick scheme of his. Come on. Let’s get to the door before he oozes over here.”

“Phineas!” Cavanaugh’s voice boomed from behind him. “Phineas Frakture! My old friend! I am so glad you came!”

   “Oh, lord.” Phineas cringed. He composed himself quickly and turned around, giving his best smile. “Cavanaugh! Wouldn’t have missed it!”

“Please, stay! I have something to show you. Your friends can stay as well,” he added, looking at Abigail. “I will only be a moment. You know the price of fame.”

Cavanaugh mingled with the crowd, answering questions and autographing programs. When he was finished, he personally escorted the trio backstage where the mummy had been taken by the stage-hands.

“You know,” Cavanaugh addressed Abigail and William, “Phinny and I go way back to elementary school! We were the best of friends—practically inseparable!”

“Really?
Phinny
has never mentioned you until now,” said William.

Phineas glared at him. “I didn’t want you to be jealous that I knew someone famous…Willy-boy.”

Abigail squeezed in between the two and pinched their arms, separating them with muffled yelps. “Mr. Cavanaugh, how do you explain this extraordinary find?”

“Please, call me Edward, and this baffles me as much as everyone else. That is why I asked my friend here to take a look at him. Phineas was the foremost mechanical expert in our class. If anyone can figure out this conundrum, it’s Phineas.”

“What do you know about him?” asked Phineas as he prodded the mummy’s clockwork with a pen.

“There is not much written about Steamhotep in the scrolls that we found. Only that he was a master builder and quite possibly the most intelligent man alive for his time. The tomb that we found him in was very sparse and seemed to be much older than the items within it. Nothing about this find makes sense. But imagine what he could teach us if he were alive today. For someone who kept his life going through clockwork several millennia ago, he could fit right into our society today.”

“Aside from the very bad complexion,” mentioned Phineas. “Did you find the key?”

“The key? I have no knowledge of a key being found. Why?”

“If you look here, at this mechanism where his heart would be, there is a hole for a key. Your curse mentioned one, did it not?”

“It did. However, we thought that it was a metaphor.”

Phineas took his program and a pen from his pocket and began drawing out a pattern. “This is what it looks like…at least the key part.”

“How did you do that just by looking at the hole?” asked William.

“Clockmaker’s son, possibly?” Phineas returned, cocking his head.

“Now that you mention it…there was a tool that my assistant, Burke, had found that we assumed was an ornamental brain remover,” said Cavanaugh.

“A ‘brain remover’?” asked Abigail.

“Yes, it is quite fascinating how the Egyptians mummified their dead. You see, they took this long hook and jammed it—”

Phineas held up his hand. “Please, spare us the details. If you don’t mind, I would like to examine our friend a while longer.”

“Of course! I was hoping that you would be interested enough to take a look. Everything here will be at your disposal,” said Cavanaugh. “I was going to take in some lunch if you two would care to join me? I can regale you with my exploits abroad.”

“Phineas?” asked Abigail. However, he was already poking around the clockwork and was in a world all his own. “I guess lunch it is,” she said. “Come along, William. Let’s leave the great explorer to his means.”

Before Phineas realized it, the sun had gone down. Rubbing his eyes, he bundled together all the notes and drawings that he had made during his examination and began heading for the door.

The audience hall wouldn’t be in use again until morning when the mummy would be put on display, though Phineas wondered why no one was around. Almost on cue, something was knocked onto the floor and rattled around for a few seconds. Phineas looked around and strained to hear any other noise: a footstep, perhaps.

“Cavanaugh?”

No reply.

“Abigail? William?”

Still nothing.

Phineas arched his eyebrow. “Steamhotep?” he chuckled. “If you are to curse me, do not waste your time. I already teach the sorriest lot of imbeciles that you could find. Enjoy your stay.”

He closed the door behind him and, once he was gone, a small figure came down from the upper gallery where it had been watching the professor at his work. Cautiously, it examined the mummy and the surrounding artifacts.

“This is bad,” the figure said in his native tongue. “He must be stopped…no matter what.”

Episode
4

Whatever it was, it did not smell good. The aroma emanating from the kitchen was akin to pickled cabbage with a hint of ammonia.

Phineas put his papers down on the dining room table, which was actually more of a repository for pieces of wayward experiments. Every morning, Mrs. Popkiss would clean the mess and, by the evening, it would be filled with more junk than it had the previous day.

“Mrs. Popkiss!?” Phineas shouted. “What died in here?”

The elderly housekeeper appeared from the kitchen wearing her cooking apron and a gas mask. “It is called dinner, sir,” came her muffled response. “The goose that you accidentally shot with that wavy gun thingy you were working on the other day. I didn’t think that it should go to waste.”

“But why does it smell like that? It doesn’t smell like goose at all!”

She raised the mask and crinkled her nose. “I don’t know, but it has turned the most brilliant shade of orange as well. I don’t think that we should eat it.”

“Probably just as well. Cold-cut sandwiches it is, then.” Phineas went back to the table and spread out his drawings and notes. “Damn!” he said, realizing that there was a notebook missing from his collection. Once he had arranged them in the most logical order to his liking, he pulled out another notebook and began taking notes on his notes.

Phineas’ mind went into a unique mode, filtering out everything irrelevant to what he was doing. He didn’t even notice that Mrs. Popkiss had left his sandwich in front of him. He picked it up and ate while he worked, not even acknowledging its appearance and subsequent disappearance. Later, he would wonder why there was a crumb covered plate left on his drawings and, more than likely, blame William for his slovenly ways.

In the far off distance of reality, his mind registered the front bell ringing and an unusual scent of lavender wafting through the room. Phineas was jolted back to the land of the cognizant as Abigail moved a drawing to put down a cup of coffee.

“Thank you,” he said, taking it and downing it in one gulp.

“That was mine, you cretin,” she said, though her annoyance only lasted a moment as Mrs. Popkiss handed her another cup in anticipation of this very scenario.

“So sorry,” Phineas replied. He looked at Abigail in confusion. “When did you get here? And why are you dressed like that?”

Abigail straightened her evening gown. “Do you like it? I wore it to dinner tonight.”

“Dinner? You are dressed a bit formal for dinner with Patterson.”

“Well…not exactly. I was with…Cavanaugh.”

Phineas’ hand jerked at the mention of the name and his pencil went flying across the room. Mrs. Popkiss, who it narrowly missed as she was leaving the room, retrieved it and returned it to the table.

“Why were you out with that sot?” Phineas asked.

“Because he asked, and you were busy attending to your mummy. Besides, you wouldn’t have gone even if we had asked you. William wasn’t feeling well, so he went home for the evening.”

“So, you were alone?”

“Yes.”

“With Cavanaugh?”

“Yes.”

“And you had…?”

“A wonderful time,” Abigail replied. “He was a perfect gentleman…so dashing and exciting. Why? Does it matter that I would go out with another gentleman? It’s not like we are together, is it? You have said over and over that we are not together, so why shouldn’t I enjoy another’s company?”

Phineas looked down at his drawings, furrowing his brow. He suddenly stood up and grabbed his coat. “Excuse me…I need to go. Mrs. Popkiss, don’t wait up for me. I may be a while.” He dashed out the door, leaving the two women to stare after him.

Abigail was the first to break the silence. “Too much?”

“Too much,” the housekeeper replied. “I fear that you might have broken something.”

“I’m afraid of that as well.”

Mrs. Popkiss began cleaning the cups from the table. “So, you had a nice time tonight?”

Abigail dropped her head to the table with a loud thud. “Oh, Mrs. Popkiss!” she exclaimed. “It was simply awful! All he did was talk about himself…everywhere he explored, all of his ‘adventures’, all about him, him, HIM! I couldn’t get a word in edgewise. It was like I wasn’t even there. I will never call Phineas ‘pompous’ ever again. He holds nothing on that egomaniac!” She lifted her head. “All I could think about was running away and finding Phineas. I can’t tell you how much I prefer his silence to the ravings of someone like Cavanaugh.”

“Maybe you should tell him that…when he shows up again, that is.”

“Do you think that he is all right?”

“I’m not sure, dear. You seem to have traversed into uncharted waters. He has been secure in your companionship for so long that he takes it for granted. He’ll be fine once that mind of his processes all of this. Either that or his head will explode like so many of his experiments. And that is not a mess I look forward to cleaning up.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of. After we escaped from the Dolonites, it seemed that he was moving in a new direction in our relationship. Now, it is like he has regressed even further than before.”

“Give him time, dear. Maybe another rooster in the hen house is exactly what he needs.”

“I should be going.” Abigail collected her coat and opened the door. “Let me know when he returns?”

“I will send word the moment he is back.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Popkiss. Have a good night.”

“You too, dear.” The housekeeper waited until Abigail had left before she began tidying up the table. As she was straightening the papers, Mrs. Popkiss glanced over the ones that Phineas had been looking at just before he left. “I knew that it wouldn’t be that simple. Wishful thinking on our parts, I guess. But, oh my dear boy…what on earth have you gotten yourself into this time?”

The papers contained a series of rubbings from the sarcophagus. Along the margins, Phineas had partially translated them. The passage that caught her eye read,
‘…for how can one with eternal life rest in peace
.’