The Accidental Countess (27 page)

Cass arrived at the park at five o’clock. Wearing her butter-yellow riding habit, she rode her own horse sidesaddle and brought only a groom with her. Just in case Daphne wished to keep the details of their meeting a secret, she thought it better not to bring her mother or a maid along as a chaperone. In fact, her mother thought she was taking a nap.

Cass stopped at the head of the path with the rosebushes. She and Daphne had ridden here together before. They’d both remarked upon how lovely the bushes were. It led off down a secluded path that ended at a small lake. It was a beautiful spot. The autumn leaves floated from the trees and crunched beneath her horse’s hooves. The rain from the night before made the ground soft and smell of leaves and the upcoming winter.

Cass didn’t have long to wait. Only a few minutes passed before a horse’s gallop sounded on the path coming toward her.

When the rider came into view, Cass sucked in her breath. It wasn’t Daphne. No. It was Julian. Her stomach leaped, did a somersault, then righted itself with a sickening lurch. She pressed her hand to her middle. She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about their—ahem—
kiss
. She’d been plagued with the memories of it all day, in fact. Had been scarcely able to think of anything else. But what was Julian doing here? He’d made it quite clear that he didn’t want anything to do with her.

As soon as he saw Cass, Julian drew back the reins and brought his mount to a stop. He was wearing buckskin breeches and black riding boots, a dark blue waistcoat and gray wool overcoat along with his white shirt and cravat and black hat. She wanted to look away, but she couldn’t. She blushed. The memory of his mouth on hers, his hands touching her body, scalded her mind.

They both stared at each other, unblinking.

“Where is Daphne?” Julian asked, glancing around, his eyes narrowed in suspicion.

“That’s a good question,” Cass replied, clutching her reins as if they were her only lifeline, her fingers cramped from the effort. “Are you meeting her here, too?”

He turned his face slightly to the side as if to look down the path for his sister. “She sent me a note not fifteen minutes ago. She told me it was urgent that we meet in the park. Now.”

Cass closed her eyes. She’d been duped, duped by little Daphne Swift of all people. “She wrote me a letter this morning asking me to meet her here at five o’clock.”

Julian snapped his head back to face her. His features were a mask of stone. “Did you plan this with Daphne?”

Cass’s mouth dropped open. “Are you serious? You honestly think I would try to trick you into—”

His face softened a bit. He held up a hand. “My mistake. Apparently, my sister thinks playing pranks is a lark. My apologies on her behalf.” He swung his mount around and turned to go.

“Wait!” The word escaped Cass’s lips before she had even meant to think it. She cursed herself. Why had she said that? What did she want him to wait for? What more could they say to each other after what had happened last night?

He stopped and turned back to face her. “Yes?”

“I…” Her voice shook. She cursed herself for that. “Would you … care to … go for a ride?”

Confusion clouded his face. He narrowed his eyes again. “With you?”

“Yes.” She glanced down at her gloves where they gripped the leather reins. Oh, the devil may care if he believed she was responsible for this. Daphne had tricked them both, but now that he was here … she didn’t want to let him go.

He maneuvered his mount back toward her and cocked his head to the side. “Where to?”

Cass smiled at him.

Minutes later, they were trotting down the secluded path past the rosebushes. They left Cass’s groom behind to wait for them.

“Mother would disown me if she knew I sneaked away from the groom,” Cass said softly.

“Not to mention you’re with me.” Julian led the way and Cass followed closely behind. “She wouldn’t like that, either.”

“Yes, but that’s only because you are—” She stopped and glanced down at her lap.

“What?” He turned his head to look over his shoulder at her.

“Never mind.” She shook her head.

He turned back to face the path but his voice drifted to her. “You were going to say
untitled,
weren’t you?”

Cass tugged on her gloves and readjusted her position in the sidesaddle. “Mother has always insisted I marry a man with a title.”

His voice remained clear, strong. “Like Derek?”

“Yes. She was beside herself when I refused him.”

“Like Upton?”

She nodded even though he couldn’t see her.

He stopped and waited for her mount to come alongside his. “You’ve had scores of offers, Cassie. I know from your letters. Why did you refuse them all?”

Cassie.
There it was again, his nickname for her. It made her heart ache. “I refused them because I didn’t love them.”

His eyebrows shot up.

“What?” she asked. “Does that surprise you?”

“Yes, actually.”

“I never told you that before?” she asked, trying to concentrate on maneuvering her horse around a fallen tree.

“Not in those words.” He shook out his reins.

Her horse cleared the tree and Cass expelled her breath. “Why did you think I refused all my suitors?”

He gave her a sidewise smile. “I assumed none of them were good enough for you.”

She laughed. “Even Derek? The duke?”

“You weren’t even tempted?” Julian asked with a chuckle.

Cass sobered. “If you could see him and Lucy together, you’d know in an instant they were destined for each other. Jane and I knew right away.”

Julian nodded. “I don’t doubt it. How is Her Grace doing these days?”

Cass lifted her chin. “I don’t know. I’m not speaking to Lucy.”

Another raised brow. “You’re not speaking to your closest friend?”

She glanced away. “She … she gave me some very bad advice.”

“Lucy was the one who said you were Patience.” His voice was solemn.

“Yes.”

“But you could have easily corrected her that day.”

“I know.”

“But still, you blame her?”

They came upon the small lake then. Julian stopped, dismounted, and tied his horse to a nearby tree. He made his way over to Cass’s horse and put his hands on Cass’s waist to help her down. The feel of his hands on her made her insides tingle.

He lifted her easily. Once she had a sure footing on the leaf-strewn ground, he let go of her waist. She glanced away. He cleared his throat. They walked together slowly down to the water’s edge.

Cass shook herself. What had they been speaking about before he touched her? Oh, yes. Lucy. “You have to know Lucy. This isn’t the first time she’s got me into trouble. Be bold, she always says. Look where being bold has got me.”

He cracked a smile. “On an outing with a useless second son.”

Cass stopped and looked up into his eyes. “Julian, please tell me you don’t really believe that, that you’re useless.”

He bent down and scooped up a stone. He drew back his arm and skipped the pebble over the water. “But I do.”

Cass pressed a hand to her throat. It ached. “You never told me that.”

He skipped another stone, still staring out ahead across the water. “I suppose it’s not something you write in a letter, even to a friend.”

She searched his profile. “What isn’t?”

His gaze searched the horizon. “That one day, when you were fourteen, your father told you that you were unnecessary.”

Cass sucked in her breath. “He did not!”

“It doesn’t matter.”

Cass touched his arm. He didn’t look at her. “It matters. Very much. To me,” she said. “Please tell me he didn’t say that.”

Julian hefted another stone in his hand. “He used that exact word actually,
unnecessary
. By the time I was fourteen, Donald had already come of age. He’d survived childhood. He was ready to take over one day. I was no longer needed.”

Cass pressed a hand against her thumping heart. “What sort of a monster would say that to a young boy?”

Julian turned to face her. “What sort of a monster would tell a young girl that she is only as good as the man who will marry her?”

“Mother said something like that to me once,” she murmured. “Specifically, she said, ‘It doesn’t matter what a man feels about you, Cassandra, it only matters whether he will marry you.’ And I set about becoming the perfect future wife, all in an effort to win my parents’ approval and love.” She sighed. “But my parents don’t love me. Not really. I’m nothing more than a prize possession to them.”

Julian’s voice was soft. “I know. You told me in one of your letters. I’m sorry, Cassie.”

“I told you?” She searched the ground for a stone, desperately thinking of a way to turn the subject from herself.

“Yes.”

“It’s funny. I’d memorized everything you wrote to me,” she said softly. “I didn’t memorize what I wrote to you.”

He jerked his head sharply to the side, a strange look on his face. “You memorized my letters?”

She blushed and bent down to get a closer look at the stones. She pushed some wet leaves away. “I know you have a scar on the underside of your chin because your first horse threw you when you were six years old.”

He rubbed his chin. “That hurt. Scraped it against a rock.”

She scooped up a stone and made her way tentatively to the water’s edge. “I know that you were once beaten by a group of boys at Eton because you were the only one who defended a new student who’d just arrived and was frightened.”

He eyed her askance. “I never said I was the only one.”

She smiled. “You didn’t have to. I could tell. You were the only one, weren’t you?”

He folded his hands behind his back, looked down at the tips of his boots, and nodded. “Poor bastard,” he whispered.

“And I know that you once gave Daphne your entire savings of spending money because she wanted to purchase a puppy that was being sorely treated by its owners.”

He cracked a smile. “Daphne can be quite convincing.”

“You’re quite a nice brother,” Cass said. She tried to skip her stone. It plopped into the water unsuccessfully.

“Owen wouldn’t do that for you?” he asked.

“Oh, Owen’s always been perfectly nice to me, but he was much more interested in riding and hunting and boyish pursuits. He never took much of an interest in his younger sister. Though when Lucy used to visit she always tried to get him to play with her. He wanted no part of it, of course.”

“So she played with you, instead?”

“I’m afraid it was her only choice.” Cass tossed another pebble into the lake, an even more dismal attempt at skipping than the last.

Julian walked over to her and handed her another stone, heat transferring from his hand to hers. “Let me show you,” he said, turning her and pulling her into the recess of his arms. Cass closed her eyes. It felt so good to have his arms around her, his warmth and scent enveloping her. He took her small cold hand in his large one. “Here’s how you do it. First, you must start with the correct stone. See how this one is flat?”

She glanced down at the rock in her hand. It was indeed flat. She somehow managed to nod.

He nudged her finger to the top of the stone and moved her thumb to the side. “Fling your wrist, like this. Try to keep that angle.” He demonstrated the correct flip of the wrist.

Cass tried it, flinging the rock out onto the lake. The stone skipped once, twice, three times before sinking beneath the flat surface of the water.

“I did it!” She turned in his arms, a wide smile on her face, then pulled away abruptly when she realized how close they still were. She backed up quickly, putting several paces between them.

He shook his head and seemed to study the ground for more suitable stones. “You know, I remember your letters, too,” he said quietly. “Let’s see if I can refresh your memory about what you wrote to me.”

Cass blushed and glanced down. She pushed her slipper through a small pile of leaves.

Julian folded his hands behind his back. “I know you make it your business to befriend anyone whom no one else will befriend. You’re not close with Lucy and Jane for no reason.”

“I love them,” she admitted. “Even Lucy, when I don’t want to kill her, that is.”

He nodded. “I know. I also know you are exceedingly clever at sewing, singing, playing the pianoforte, and painting. Especially painting.”

“I’m not proud of any of that. Mother insisted I do it.” Then she smiled softly. “Well, perhaps the painting.”

“You’re quite good at it.”

She glanced away. “Thank you.”

“I still have all of the paintings you sent me. I keep them in my pack.”

She turned her head to look at him. “You kept them? All these years?”

“Yes. I couldn’t keep all the letters, but I kept all the paintings. I used to look at them on days when the skies were gray and thick with smoke and stench.”

Tears burned the back of Cass’s eyes. She turned toward the lake so he couldn’t see.

“I know you love your mother and father despite the fact that they’ve never been good to you,” he said next.

Cass wrapped her arms around her middle. “I wrote that?”

“Not in so many words. I could tell.”

She smiled at the fact that he had echoed her words from a few moments earlier. She stared unseeing across the water. “I always wanted them to love me. They seemed to love Owen just because he was a boy, an heir.”

“Ah, I know all about that.”

Cass stopped and placed her hand on his sleeve. “Julian … I meant what I said in my letter. If Donald doesn’t come back.” She swallowed. “You can do it. You can be the earl. You’re strong enough. You’re good enough.”

Julian clenched his jaw. “Like Upton?”

The words stabbed Cass’s heart. She turned toward the horses, still fighting tears. “We should get back.”

Julian only nodded. They walked slowly to the horses, and Julian helped her remount. Using a fallen log, he hoisted himself onto his own horse.

Before they took off, Cass glanced at him. “Julian, do you think you could ever be my friend again?”

He rubbed his chin and stared off past the water. “No, Cassie. That’s not what I want.”