“Are you all right now, Lu?”
He nodded.
“That was the first time, wasn’t it? The first time you cried?”
Luan nodded again. “I’m sorry, Marse. Your shirt’s all wet.”
“I don’t care about the shirt. I care about you.”
“Even after what I said back at Xunanda’s?”
“You were upset. It doesn’t matter now.” He cupped Luan’s chin gently in his big soldier’s hand and kissed him. “I’ve missed you,” he said softly. “And I’ve been so worried. Are you really all right?”
“I’m fine, now. Just don’t go away again.”
“Not without telling you.”
“Marse, even if this speech doesn’t work…I mean, if I don’t become Chief, will you stay with me?”
“Of course.” There had been no hesitation.
“Then…you accept me as your Life’s Companion?”
“I do.”
Luan didn’t know what to say next. He tugged at this hair and laughed to cover his embarrassment. “I guess we can’t do anything official yet.”
“That can wait.” Marselind reached up with one hand and took off the thong holding back his hair. He cut the leather strip in two with his Hunter’s knife and handed half to Luan. “Tie the knot, Lu. That’s official enough for me.” He held out his left hand.
Luan smiled and tied the thong securely around the man’s wrist. Then he kissed the warm, open palm, looked into Marselind’s eyes and held out his own wrist.
For a few moments they sat in silence, fingers entwined on the rough blanket.
“I guess you were right about the First Minister,” Luan said after a while. “It’s scary, isn’t it? I thought I knew him.”
“Power is a sickness in some people. The executions have begun, you know. He is trying to eliminate everyone who speaks against him.”
“Why doesn’t Quetzelan do something?”
“He’s biding his time, waiting for us to find evidence, waiting for you to speak out.”
Luan picked up the notebook. “I guess I could start my speech by saying I will not do things the way my father or the First Minister did.”
Marselind shook his head. “Too negative. No one wants to hear what you won’t do. They want to know what you
will
do.”
“I’ll put a Kolari on the Council.”
“My dear Lu, there’s going to be tremendous opposition to Kolaris in any position of responsibility, let alone on the Council. Slow down. Don’t try to do everything at once.” Luan pushed at his hair in exasperation. “Then help me! Tell me what to say!”
“You don’t need anyone to tell you what to say! You are a leader, by birth and by training.”
“But I’m not a Hunter!”
“You’ve got to remember who you’re talking to here.”
“The people.”
“Yes, but even more important, you’re talking to the Elders, the members of the Council. You must get their support so they will vote for you at the leadership meeting the day after your coming of age. They will want to see your dream.”
“Marse, I don’t know if I can—”
“Listen, the Council agrees that we need the Inter-Planetary Alliance. Who did the I.P.A. send as their representative? The Merculians, a race as different from us as night and day. Was it a Hunter who reached out to these people, who understood their ways, who communicated so well with them? No! It was you, Luan Am Quarr. You are the leader we need!”
“Gods, Marse! You’ve almost convinced me!”
“And that’s only the beginning!”
“And let us hope that beginning will start soon!” Beny appeared in the doorway, smiling. He held a day-glo torch clutched in his hand and a bunch of red and yellow flowers in the crock of his left arm. “They’re beginning to wilt a bit, I’m afraid, but I know you love flowers.”
Luan stared at him, seeing again his vision of the Merculian with his arms full of flowers. “Thanks!” he stammered, trying to recover. “Thanks for everything. Sending your healer, and the flowers…and coming yourself, of course.”
“Don’t try to get up. Please. And it was Thar-von who sent the healer.” Beny sat down on a stool and laid the flowers on the bed. “Is there anything else I can do for you?”
“You have done enough, Excellency.”
“There is something,” Marselind said, speaking for the first time. “Luan will speak to the people, thanks to your equipment, and that is a wonderful gift. But he must appear in person, to speak of his dream. We need a public venue in a contained space, something we can control and yet that is open to the public.”
Beny ran the tip of his tongue over dry lips. “Like our theater, is that what you mean?”
“Exactly. If your company could give a final performance….”
“Dancers on a stage are very vulnerable,” Beny said slowly.
“I understand your concerns about safety,” Marselind interjected, “but we have a great deal of support, now, and we can fill the place with Hunters.”
“Luan, we Merculians owe you a great deal. At one point I
was
considering doing a final performance, I thought as a memorial to you, but thankfully that’s not necessary.” He smiled, one small hand smoothing the material of his tunic. “If you would like to make your first public appearance in our theater, perhaps that could be arranged.”
“Thank you,” Luan said. “That would be a perfect place.” He took one of the flowers and handed it to the Merculian. “Now I am beginning to see the truth behind my dream. You are indeed the sun, but in a way I was not expecting.”
* * *
That night, Luan woke up from a deep sleep and knew something incredible was about to happen. The cave was full of a soft blue light, glinting against the damp streaks on the walls, making the ordinary bits and pieces of furniture, the sconces on the walls, glow. Beside him, Marselind slept peacefully, his face buried in his arm. Something told Luan not to wake him. Whatever was about to happen was for his eyes alone.
The light shimmered, and then grew stronger. The low sound of a horn reverberated on the air and he was there. Quetzelan. Standing tall, almost filling the cave-like room with his commanding presence. Luan had never seen the Dream Weaver like this. The old man seemed to be young again, his eyes bright with an inner light, his long hair stirring as if it, too, were alive. Luan leaned against the cold wall for support and lifted his hand in greeting.
There was a tinkling sound, as if a breeze stirred a number of tiny bells tied to the branches of a tree. When Quetzelan spoke, it was like hearing the words inside his head. He knew the old man could hear his thoughts clearly. There was no need for words.
“Luan, you are my dream-son. I am very proud of you, of who you are, who you have become and what you will do for your people.”
“Tell me what to do?”
“You know what to do, my son. You had already started along that road when last I saw you. And you have made great progress. You will open your heart to the people, show them your dreams and they will follow you.”
“Do you really believe that? I mean—I don’t mean to question you—”
“I know it is yourself you question, just as all leaders do from time to time. But your feet are set upon the path, now, my son. You cannot lose. Speak the words that are in your heart on the Day of Awakening. On the Day of your birth, go the Dance Festival for the Merculian’s final performance. Everyone will be there, including the Merculian Ambassador. His presence will give the seal of I.P.A. approval to your leadership.”
“I know, but I have been thinking about that. The clan leaders will be there! The sub-chiefs! Will they follow me? And what about the First Minister? He will never allow this!”
“Luan, my strength is weakening. Listen to me. Tell Xenobar he will find the man he seeks hiding in the Cave of Dreams. When that man tells what he knows about how the First Minister plotted with the rebel Norh against your father, others will come forward to speak against him, too. You are the Great Chief of Abulon, my son. My dream is yours.”
The light in the cave was dimming. A dull echo filled the space, a rising and falling as of labored breathing.
“Wait! Quetzelan, don’t leave me!” For the first time, Luan was afraid.
“You are my dream-son, Luan. I leave you my strength, my vision, and my love. You will never be alone.” There was a flash of blue light, and then darkness. Luan began to shake. He realized his face was wet with tears. But his heart was singing. On the floor lay his father’s cats-eye pendant, one of the symbols of his power.
TWENTY-FIVE
Cham was running…running…trying to get away. If only he could go faster…leap higher…he would be able to escape. Rough hands caught him, throwing him down. Strong fingers tore at his clothes and grasped his arms and legs, pinning him to the ground.
Cham screamed.
He tried to fight free of the encircling arms. Eyes wide open now, he stared right at Triani and screamed again.
The door burst open. A young Kolari strode in, his long knife raised above his head in the throwing position.
“Get out!” shouted Triani. “It’s just another damn nightmare!”
“It’s okay, Jaxor.” Cham pushed the damp hair away from his flushed face.
“I know Xenobar assigned him to you as a bodyguard, but I wish to hell he wouldn’t take his job so damn seriously! Doesn’t he ever sleep? No wonder everyone believed they were androids.” Triani got out of bed and pushed one of the chairs in front of the door. “Maybe that’ll slow him down a little.”
Triani poured himself a glass of wine. He was worried. If anything, Cham’s nightmares were getting worse. Every night he woke up in a cold sweat, shaking with fear. If Triani touched him, he cringed away as if expecting to be hurt. It was very difficult to cope with. Triani was consumed with guilt. He still felt it was his fault he had not been able to protect Cham. He also felt guilty that he couldn’t control his own physical longing. His desire for Cham seemed to grow more fierce the more Cham drew away from him. In an effort to satisfy his cravings, he had gone to Serrin but the result was to make him want Cham even more. He knew Cham could feel this and was frightened by the sheer force of Triani’s lust. This, too, made him feel guilty.
Triani picked up the bottle of Crushed Emeralds and went back to bed. “Maybe you should see the doctor again,” he said.
“What for? He said I’m okay physically. I’m just a little out of shape because I haven’t danced for a while, but I’m working on that.”
“Chami, let’s cut the crap. You know that’s not what I’m talking about.”
“He said I’m okay,” Cham repeated stubbornly.
“Then why are you screaming in my ear in the middle of the night?”
“Maybe I should sleep in the other room.”
“Oh for god’s sake—”
“Stop it! Please don’t shout at me.”
“I’m not shouting!” Triani poured another glass of wine. “Chami, tell me what the doctor really said. I tried to talk to him but he wouldn’t say anything to me.”
“Of course not. It’s private.”
“Look, sweetie, I’m your lover.”
“Maybe.”
“What?
Maybe
?”
“You don’t love me. You never said you loved me. Never. And you sleep around all the time.” Cham covered his face with his hands. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that.”
“Why not? It’s true, isn’t it?” Triani lay back against the pillows and studied the wine in his glass. “Do you remember how all this started? You followed me around for weeks. You were there when we were rehearsing. You even slept in my doorway so I’d fall over you when I came home late at night. And I always sent you home. Then you hid in my dressing room and danced for me naked late one night when everyone had gone.”
“I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t taken me home that night. I was in a real bad state over you. How come you gave in?”
Triani grinned. “It was the kind of stunt I might have pulled myself at your age. Besides, when I finally got a good look at you how could I resist? But all I wanted was a pretty kid to sleep with. I didn’t know it would be…anything more than that.”
“Everyone warned me about you.”
“You should have paid attention.”
There was silence in the room for a moment, each one enclosed in his own thoughts. “When we get back home, maybe you should stay with your parents for a while,” Triani said. It was hard for him say. He had no respect for parents who had given up their only child so easily to a person with his reputation. But they were parents, nonetheless. Maybe they could do for Cham what he couldn’t do.
“Are you trying to get rid of me?” Cham asked, raising his tear-streaked face.
“Look, sweetie, if that’s what I wanted, I’d say so. I know what you’re thinking, but as you so astutely remarked, I can get sex anywhere. There are a lot of star-fuckers around. What I get from you is different.” He stopped to think about what he had just said. It was the first time he had formulated the thought and it surprised him. “Let’s put it this way,” he went on. “If I didn’t think you were something special, I wouldn’t be sitting here in the middle of the bloody night, racking my brains to try to explain something I don’t understand myself to a pretty kid I laid my life on the line for just recently.”
“I think you’re something special, too.” Triani waved the comment aside. “Tell me,” Cham went on. “When it happened to you, it wasn’t a Merculian, was it?”
“No, sweetie. It was a Serpian male. He was drunk out of his skull and he was like an animal. I suppose that’s why I have a thing against Serpians. It’s not a conscious thing. It just comes out now and then.”
“Like with Zox.”
Triani nodded. “I suppose so.”
“I feel that way about Abulonians. Except Marselind. While he was there, everything was more or less okay. They even tried to find things I could eat. It wasn’t until after he left….”
“When Norh and his bunch took over.”
“I knew there was fighting going on. Then some men came and threw me in that cell and took my clothes and turned off the lights. It wasn’t so bad in the day but at night…. They thought it was funny, seeing how terrified I was.”
“It’s okay, sweetie. You’re with me, now.”
“It’s not okay! It keeps going around and around in my head. It was torture for me and they laughed. Then those two men came in with the dress I was wearing when you rescued me. They said if I did what they wanted, they’d leave the lights on. But they didn’t. They came back later and threw me on the floor and raped me anyway. Both of them. It was after that they tied me up to the wall. I didn’t see anyone again until you came. I thought everyone had forgotten about me and I was going to die.”