That's a Promise (29 page)

“So beautiful,” he whispers before lowering his head to mine. His lips feel electrifying against mine. Nice warm and full lips, wetting mine as we sink into passionate intimacy. Hands are searching each other’s body, and mouths are trying to reach into each other’s soul.

I feel like my heart is about to explode from the intensity of this kiss. His tongue and mine seem to clash perfectly in a battle to show each other our desires. I love it when he pulls my bottom lip in between his teeth, and gives it a little tug. I moan against his mouth, and move my hips up to meet his. I want so badly for this to continue with no clothes, so I continue to rub my body against his. I hear him moan and growl at the same time, and I can’t help but think that it is the sexiest sound I have ever heard. I feel him try to slow down the kiss, but my body, mind, and soul want nothing to do with that, so I continue to push harder. I grip the hair on the back of his head and keep him firmly against my mouth.

He tears himself away from my grasp, panting. “Jesus, Josie,” he practically growls, and puts himself on the furthest spot on the couch. “What the hell are you doing?” He is frustrated and seems angry, but I can’t understand why he doesn’t want to go any further with me.

“I’m pretty sure I made it clear exactly what I’m trying to do, Blake. I think the question here is what the hell are
you
doing? Because, to me, it seems like a lot of leading on and then pulling back,” I say angrily, and get up to go to the kitchen.
How dare he?
I think to myself.
He keeps telling me he loves me, and then kisses me passionately only to pull back and not continue what he started.

In an effort to take my mind off of my raging hormones, I start getting everything I need to make dinner. I feel Blake’s thick arms wrap around me as I start slamming vegetables onto the counter. He nuzzles his face in my neck and gives me a soft kiss. I feel my anger start to soften at his gentleness.

“I love you, Jo. We just need to talk before we do that. You know that.” He spins me around so I am facing him, and smoothly places my hair behind my ear. “You just don’t understand how it felt to have you look at me like that. I don’t want to be a constant reason for that look of hatred and disgust. I can’t do it, Jo. You deserve better than that. So we have to talk it out. Do you get that?”

I nod my head. It makes sense. I just wanted to believe it wouldn’t have to come to that. “One more night,” I whisper to him. “Just one more night to act like it didn’t happen, and then tomorrow we can talk about it.” He nods his head in agreement, and we finish making dinner. Together.  

Chapter 27

December 2 ½ years earlier

I went through the last few months focusing on my school work. I tried my hardest to make sure that no man got in the way of me becoming a successful woman. I studied, and rarely went out to parties. I read in the sanctuary of my room, and that became my life for the first half of my senior year.

My student teaching became an outlet for me to focus on something other than Blake and the hope that he would come back to me. But Blake couldn’t just let me go. No… he still made a subtle presence in my life for weeks, making it impossible to forget about him completely.

I started noticing the addition of books one night when I was browsing my bookshelf for a new book to read. On my shelf, there was a book that I knew I would not have brought with me to school, because it wasn’t a book I ever owned. It was a Dr. Seuss book:
Oh, the Places You’ll Go.
I cocked my head, when I saw it, and grabbed it from the shelf.

What in the world,
I thought, cracking open the book. I was pretty sure I read that book in elementary school, but I didn’t remember it. I flipped through the pages, and stopped when I found a highlighted part in the book. I liked to highlight different quotes that I found interesting or inspirational in books, so I knew that the phrase must have been important to someone. I read, “You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go…”

I loved it immediately after reading it, which piqued my curiosity even more about who put it there. I had a feeling that it was Blake, but I didn’t know when he could have come in and put it there… Only
I
can decide the direction of my life. I flopped onto my bed, and read the children’s story, realizing that even though it was meant for a child, it gave me inspiration as an adult. I fell asleep holding onto the book, hoping that there would be another book waiting for me soon.

I looked every day after that in hopes of finding another book, and eventually my obsessiveness was rewarded, because a week later there was another book.
The Perks of Being a Wallflower
was stuck in between the books on my shelf. It looked read, and my heart raced hoping to find another quote. I flipped through the pages and finally found one. “There’s nothing like deep breaths after laughing that hard. Nothing in the world like a sore stomach for the right reasons.” I smiled after I read it. Blake used to tell me something similar while we were dating. I knew it was him.

Once a week I would find a new book, with a new quote waiting for me. Some of them inspired me, and some of them made me laugh. All of them made me love Blake more.

Winter break was approaching, and I kept hoping that Blake would come to me and let me know he still cared. I waited, hoping for an inkling or hint that he might still be in love with me, but the quotes were never about love.

Until one day it was.

I checked my shelf again on the week before I was supposed to leave for break, and was excited to see a new book. It was one I had read many times, and had a copy of it back at my house. It was
The Notebook.
I knew this quote could change everything. My heart raced as I flipped through the pages. Tears welled in my eyes once I found and read the quote Blake left for me.

“I love you. I am who I am because of you. You are every reason, every hope, and every dream I’ve ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, every day we are together is the greatest day of my life. I will always be yours.”

He loved me! He couldn’t stop it either. I needed to see him, so I rushed out of my apartment as fast as I could. I drove to his office, about a twenty minute drive, and with immense determination I ran into his office. He was standing in front of his desk with two other workers looking at a blueprint. He was pointing to something on the page, when I rushed in. He looked up abruptly when he heard the door swing open and bump the wall with a loud thud.

“You love me!” I breathed out. Blake raised his eyebrows, and smirked. He looked over at the two dumbfounded employees, and whispered something to them. They walked past me and closed the door. Blake walked to the front of his desk, and crossed his manly and sexy arms across his chest.

“You love me, Blake,” I said again insistently, holding up the book.

“How do you know that’s me?” he asked and cocked his head. I walked closer to him, and left about an inch between us.

“I just know,” I said softly. He smiled at me, and then brought his hand to my face.

“Yes, Jo. I still love you. I can’t stop,” he said, and leaned into me. He looked into my eyes, and rubbed his thumb against my cheek. His simple touch made my breathing erratic and my heart beat fast.  

“I love you too, Blake,” I said, leaning in closer, hoping he would close the miniscule distance between our lips. He moved his hand to the back of my head, and gripped some of my hair when he pulled me to his lips. It felt like the world around me had exploded when I felt the pressure of his mouth on mine. Every nerve in my body was at attention, and every little movement we made ignited a fire in the pit of my stomach. My book dropped to the floor with a thud as we got lost in each other.

It was intense. It was passionate. It was us. My hands roamed his body, and I enjoyed listening to the little deep sounds of pleasure that it brought out of him. He backed me against the wall in his office, and started attacking my neck.

“Oh… oh my god, Blake,” I moaned. He replied with a moan of his own as he licked his way up my ear. My body was hot with excitement, and it didn’t take long for me to get soaking wet as he continued using his tongue on me.

“I never slept with anyone else, Jo,” he said, looking into my eyes intently. “It’s always been you, I just needed some time. I’m not ready to talk about everything with my family, but I am ready to stop pushing you away, because you are it for me. You’re it, Jo. I will love you every day for as long as I live.”

Blake traced his nose against my cheek, and into my hair. I closed my eyes at the gentle touch, and felt guilt wash over me. I was relieved to learn that he and Alice had not done anything, and I believed him. But it made me feel a little guilty about what I did over the summer. I couldn’t tell him that I had slept with my best friend multiple times even if we weren’t together, especially since I told him that Seth was like a brother to me. So I did what I thought was best.

“I haven’t been with anyone else either. Not like that,” I lied. I kept my hands firmly laced behind his neck, and closed my eyes so he couldn’t detect the lie.  I knew I was a horrible person for lying, but what he didn’t know couldn’t hurt him. What happened with Seth didn’t mean nearly as much as it did when it was with Blake, because Blake loved me. That was the missing puzzle piece the whole time. Seth never loved me, and Blake always did. “It’s always been you for me too, Blake,” I said truthfully.

He captured my mouth again, and we were all tongues, hands, heavy breathing, and moans. We couldn’t get enough of each other. I relished in the feel of his hands touching my sensitive and aching breasts. I took advantage of the moment, and studied every definition and crevice on his fit body. I didn’t think it was possible, but he was even sexier now than before. He was manlier now. He wasn’t just my college boyfriend, he was my
man.

His hand had traveled under my shirt, and every path he made with it, sent my body into a wild frenzy. He moved to the top button on my jeans, and I sucked in a sharp breath. I was anxious for him to continue, but I wasn’t sure if he would let it progress to that since we were in his office. I closed my eyes and moaned, hoping he would take that as a hint to continue the travel of his hand. He licked my ear, and nibbled on it before he slipped his hand into my jeans. I let out a whimper as he slid his fingers into my wet folds.

The feel of his hand was so needed and electrifying that I didn’t know how long I would last before I came from his touch. He moaned and put his head in my neck, continuing to rub me. I moved my hips in sync with his hand, desperately needing release that only he could give me. I was getting close, and my breathing and moans were proof of my excitement. Blake’s hand stilled and he licked my neck.

“I want you to come on my mouth,” he said roughly into my ear, and then picked me up.

I wrapped my legs around him and let out a small squeal as he moved us over to his desk. He sat me on the edge, moving a couple files out of our way. He gave me his hand and helped me back down so he could take off my jeans, excruciatingly slowly. His hands caressed my butt and thighs as he worked my pants off of my hot needy body. His hot wet lips moved over every spot that his hands touched, making me shiver from overwhelming sensations.

Blake rose from the ground, and grabbed the hem of my shirt as he came to full height.

“Arms up, love,” he said with a smirk. I obliged his request, and was rewarded with his sensual touch against my bare skin as he slid my top over by head. My bra was next, and he had that off quicker than I could have taken it off myself. I would have to talk to him about that later.

Blake took a step back, and ran his eyes down my body, leaving behind a trail of fire on my skin as he stared.

“Dreams don’t do you justice, Josie. You are so beautiful, it hurts,” he said softly, dragging his eyes up to meet mine. My mouth was parted, and I was panting with anticipation. I closed my thighs, in an effort to relieve some of the pressure that was building because of him. He inched towards me, putting out his arm to stop my legs from coming together. His fingers traced my swollen clit, making me lose a little consciousness.

He moved his hands to my hips and lifted me up onto the now clean desk. Spreading my legs wide, he kneeled on the floor. I leaned back on my hands, and let my long hair cascade down my back. When his tongue touched me, I nearly convulsed against him immediately. He kept it on my throbbing clit, and moved his fingers inside of my wet entrance. I cried out loudly at the friction of his fingers and tongue, and felt my nipples pucker even tighter as he continued to pleasure me.

It was ironic to think of this god of a male creature bowing on his knees before me, bringing me to the point of ecstasy, just because he loved to do it. It was sexy and hot, and it made me love him even more.

He sucked my clit into his mouth, and I felt myself reaching and climbing to the peak of desire. It was like a buildup, and when I reached the top, I knew I couldn’t hold on for one more second.

“Oh, Blake!” I cried out as I came, writhing against the desk. I heard him moan against me, but I was so lost in my orgasm, that I barely noticed. He licked at me eagerly, until I was finally able to calm down and come back to myself. I looked down and saw him staring at me, with a smile on his face. He stood up, and took off his dress shirt, wiping his face before he threw it on the floor. His dress pants and boxers were next, and I took in the sight of my god.

“Ugh… you are too good looking, Blake,” I said acting exasperated. He chuckled softly under his breath, reached for my red cheeks. He kissed my lips softly, and I groaned wanting more. The next time he put his mouth on mine, I slipped my tongue into his mouth, and wrapped my hands around his neck. I could taste myself on his tongue, the sweet taste of the passionate kiss he gave me from below. So sexy… I arched my back, so that my nipples hit his hard bare chest.