That Thing Between Eli and Gwen (15 page)

Hannah didn’t back up. “I deserve it.”

“You do deserve it. I should curse you out, throw water in your face, and so much more, not just for hurting me, but for hurting him. What makes it worse is you didn’t even have the decency to make your affair last. Should I feel better about that? If you two were soulmates, at least I could say 'they really fell in love.' I’m a romantic like that. I thought I was the pitiful one, but the truth is, you are. How stupid you must feel right now for throwing everything away. I feel sorry for you.” I took a step back and turned around.

Chapter Twelve

Mistake or By Design

Eli

Not just for hurting me, but for hurting him.

Her words repeated in my mind as the driver held open the car door for us at our apartment. She hadn’t even argued with me, just got in the car and didn't say a word or even look at me during the drive. In the elevator, she kept her head down, and when we reached our floor, she slowly walked to her door.

I don’t want it to end like this.

She unlocked the door, and I came up behind her, pulling it closed. “Say something,” I whispered.

She didn’t turn around.

“Guinevere, please say something. Anything.”

“Eli, I’m tired. Please let it go.”

“She said he’s still in love with you. Will you go back to him if he calls?” I didn’t know why I asked, but I just knew I had to. I couldn’t let it go.

“Do I look that desperate?”

She still wouldn't face me. “I don’t know how you look right now. Turn around and ask me again.”

“I can’t.”

“Why?”

“Because you are confusing me.”

“I feel the same.”

Her hand tightened on the doorknob. “We’ve had too much wine. Let’s call it a night, Eli.”

“All right. If that's what you think it is.” I let go of her door, waiting for her to head inside.

But, she didn’t. She just stood there.

“Why are you confused?” she asked, finally turning. “When you say things like that, it comes off like—”

“Like I like you?” I said, and it felt like a relief to say. “Maybe it’s because I’ve talked to you more than anyone else. Maybe because I was heartbroken after Hannah, and you could see right through me, and it didn’t seem like a big deal anymore. Maybe it’s because you make my whole family seem brighter. I don’t know what it is. I don’t know how I got here. One moment you were just that other woman who got hurt too, and then you were Guinevere. Funny, weird, talented, beautiful Guinevere, and I’m thinking about how you smell like rain, and whether you’ve eaten. I don’t know how it happened, all I know is that I’m thinking about you, and not just like a friend.”

“Hannah is—”

“Not my problem. Nor is she yours. I really don’t want to spend right now talking about them; we’ve done that. I want to talk about you and me, and this thing between us.” I took a step forward.

She took a step back until her back was against her door.

“Tell me, Guinevere. Am I crossing a line? Am I the only one going down this road?”

“We will hurt each other, Eli. This is just going to be a rebound—”

“I'd rather get hurt a dozen times, remember? Or was that just talk?”

“Eli—”

“I’ll ask again, Guinevere: am I mistaken? Am I the only one who feels something here?”

She looked to the side and shook her head.

“You have to say it.” I needed to hear the words.

She licked her lips, took a deep breath, and looked me square in the eye. “No. Happy? I’ve been trying to tell myself we are just friends, but I keep…I keep hoping to see you, and talk to you, and be around you…you are slowly taking up all the space in my head, and I—”

I kissed her. Not like the peck on the lips I’d given her at the university; I kissed her like I meant it. Her mouth was soft against my own and opened slightly for me when I licked the bottom of her lip. I held onto her waist and pressed her up against the door, her hands went up into my hair, pulling me closer.

I felt my fingers crawling up the length of her, cupping one of her breasts.

Shit.
I didn’t want us to start like that. I forced us apart.

“What?” she said.

We both took deep breaths, though neither of us had moved, our bodies still pressed together.

“This is what I do when I just want to screw a woman, Guinevere. I said I wanted to see where this is going with you, and a one-night stand is not where I want it to go, so we need to stop.”

“Okay.” She nodded, pushing me away.

But I didn’t like that either, leaning in and kissing her again. She bit my bottom lip and I moaned into her, her tongue in my mouth, tempting me more.

“Fuck. No,” I said again, taking a step back. “You weren’t supposed to be this good.”

She laughed. “What does that mean?”

“I don’t know.” She just had this innocence about her; the fact that she was so passionate already was throwing me for a loop.

“So let's call it a night?” she said to me.

I found myself staring at all her curves but, biting my lip, I nodded.

“Okay then. See you tomorrow?” She opened her door.

“Wait.”

“Eli! You’re killing me here.”

Good to know.

“I just wanted to say, knowing you, tomorrow you're going to want to get all dressed up again to make a good impression…but don’t, okay? Let’s not put on a false façade that we are anything other than who we were two days ago.”

She frowned. “You only confessed when I got all glammed up—”

“I confessed because after Hannah spoke to me, I realized I didn’t want you beside any other man. I’m a tad bit possessive like that.”

“Don’t worry, I will whip that right out of you.”

“We’re on to whips now?” I couldn't stop myself.

She laughed, shaking her head at me. “Goodnight, Dr. Davenport.”

“Goodnight, Ms. Poe.”

She closed the door slowly, never breaking eye contact with me until it finally shut.

“Oh, shit,” I whispered to myself, hurrying into my apartment. My hard-on for her was killing me slowly. Pulling off my clothes, I couldn’t help but wonder how we were going to be now that we had crossed this line.

I was a little too excited.

Guinevere

“What just happened?” I asked Taigi, sliding down to sit right in front of my door. One of my hands went to my lips and the other to my chest, where my heart was trying to escape.

I hadn’t just kissed Eli. I had made out with him to the point where I wanted to do so much more. He tasted like vanilla ice cream: sweet and chilly.

“What am I doing, Taigi?” I whispered, running my hands through his fur. His tongue dropped out of his mouth. “If we do this, we are going to complicate everything. Right? It won’t just be us hanging out, it will be dates, and…sex.”

It was all supposed to be negative, yet the more I spoke, the more I wanted all of it. Even now I shivered, just thinking about how his hands had gripped me, how strong they were. How strong and hard all of him felt against me…

Stop it. I’m not going to think about it until tomorrow.
We weren’t officially starting until then, right? Did our relationship have an official date?

I was going to give myself a headache.
Stop thinking about it.

Yet even after I had showered and changed, I couldn’t let it go. Sitting on my bed, I rested against the wall, grabbing my book from the floor beside me.

Is he asleep? This is useless!
I wasn’t going to be able to get any rest, and it was his fault!

“Stupid, sexy, egotistical, kissing doctor,” I muttered, grabbing my pillow and burying my face in it. I heard my phone buzz, even though I couldn’t see it.

“Where are you?” I jumped up onto my knees, my hands patting down the surface of my bed.

Taigi barked, using his nose to push the phone for me.

“See, this is why I love you, Taigi,” I said, reaching to pick it up.

He barked two more times before rolling himself into a ball in his smaller bed at the foot of mine.

It was a text.

‘Are you sleeping?’

‘Yep.’
Urgh, I should have come up with a better reply
.

‘So you are dream-texting me? That’s new.’

‘Why are you awake?’

‘Why are you asleep after messing with my head?’

What? Me!
Sitting up and crossing my legs as if that would help, I typed harder, as if he could feel my emotions through the phone.

‘Me messing with your head? Says the guy who drops the 'I like you’ bomb and kisses the life out of me to the point where I was thinking of asking you in, only to be a gentleman and tell me he doesn’t want to just screw me. I’m not messing with your head, Dr. Davenport, it’s you who is messing with mine.’
I felt proud the moment I hit send...until I realized how crazy I must sound.

“I hate trying to date,” I said, falling over to the side, not wanting to see his reply. There should be a take-back button on messages.

Peeking at his message when my phone vibrated, I prepared myself for his reply.
‘But it feels nice, right? Me messing with you. You messing with me. You want this, right?’

‘Yes.’
I answered without overthinking, because it did feel nice.

‘It does for me, too. I don’t like talking to you via text. I prefer seeing your face when we talk, so I’ll just wait a few more hours. Sleep well, Guinevere.’

‘You too, Eli.’
Falling back on my bed, I remembered that his bedroom was just on the other side of the wall. If he was in there texting, he was right behind me. I wanted to knock on the wall, but that just seemed a little bit creepy, so I rolled over, holding onto my pillow.

I felt like I had only closed my eyes for a few minutes before Taigi started to bark, coming over with his leash and dropping it beside me. I glanced at the clock: 5:32 AM.

“Taigi, it’s too early. Can we go later?” I rolled over.

He jumped onto my bed.

“The sun isn’t even completely up yet!” I begged.

He just pushed the leash toward me and barked.

“Okay, okay.” I felt like an old woman getting up. Stretching out my back, I grabbed my running capris, though I hadn’t run since I was kid. I usually took him to the park and just waited for him to wear himself out chasing squirrels or his ball.

“Give me a second, boy,” I said when he followed me into the bathroom, whining as I took time to brush my teeth.

He whined again, his paws on my leg.

“We're going, we're going.” I put on his leash and exited my room, and he ran toward the door. “What is up with you—”

I paused when Eli came out, adjusting the mp3 player on his bare muscular arm, wearing black loose-fitting running pants and a hooded shirt. Only when Taigi went up to him did Eli glance at me, wide-eyed as he took his earbuds out.

“Morning,” I said quickly, even bringing my hand up and doing a small wave like an idiot.

“Morning.” He grinned. “Do you usually go out this early? I’ve never seen you.”

 “No, usually we go out later, but for some reason, he wouldn’t let me sleep this morning.”
Now I look like a stalker, thank you.
I glared at Taigi, who walked on his own toward the elevator. “See, he really has to go.” I followed, walking past Eli.

“Where are you guys going?” he asked.

He was already next to me as I pressed the button. “Central Park,” I replied, getting in with him.

We both reached to close it, our hands grazing each other.

“Sorry.” I quickly dropped my hand.

He snickered, closing the doors. “He looks excited.”

I glanced down to Taigi, whose tail waved back and forth.

“I was so busy with the wedding yesterday that I could only give him a short ten-minute walk, which is nothing; he really needs a good run.” I petted his head.

“You run, too?”

He sounded excited as we reached the bottom floor. “Yeah.” I had no idea why the hell I said that; it just spilled out of my mouth. I only ever either let Taigi run by himself or biked next to him. Running was not my thing.

“I usually do the Hudson River route, it’s almost nine miles, but Central Park is good too. Do you start your run from here?”

Almost nine miles every morning? Are you shitting me right now?

“We—” Before I could finish telling him to go on without us, Taigi ran forward, pulling me with him. What made it worse was I could feel Eli running beside me.

 Why, Taigi, why?
I screamed in my mind, running with them. I couldn’t get out of it now. It was early enough that the sidewalks toward the park were mostly empty; there was still even early morning fog out.

When we made it to the park I hoped, prayed one of them would slow down, but they were in their own little world, running farther and farther along the path while I could feel my calves tightening up.

Come on, Guinevere, you can do this. Just make it a half hour.
I pushed myself, breathing in slowly through my nose and out my mouth.

I thought I was doing pretty well for a little bit too, until my whole left leg went numb and I had to slow down, much to Taigi’s annoyance. I slowed, finally stopping at a bench and grabbing my leg.

“Are you all right?” Eli came over.

I noticed that while I was sweating like crazy, he just looked like someone had sprayed him with a damn mister. Sighing, I just sat, trying to catch my breath.

“I’m not a runner.” I threw up my hands. “I have no idea why I said I was. I take him on walks, and if he really needs to go for a run, I take my bike. I’m a great cyclist, but running…yeah, not my thing. I think I’m dying. How long have we been going for?”

“Twenty-four minutes—”

“Really?” I was surprised I had made it that far.
I should have kept going!
“See? I can’t even make it thirty minutes. That’s bad, right?”

He knelt down in front of me. “Which leg is stiff? I’m guessing you didn’t stretch?”