That McCloud Woman (21 page)

He
raised a hand and closed it over hers, holding her palm against his cheek.
"And it's just not the kids. I—well, I care for you, too."

A
sob hitched in her chest and she unwound her fingers from his to press them
against her lips.

"You
deserve a man who can be a part of a family and I can't do that, Alayna. I wish
I could, but I can't. I don't want any more children."

She
moved her hand from her lips to his. "Shh," she whispered.
"Don't say anything more." She moved her hands to frame his face.
"I want to make love with you, Jack," she whispered. "One last
time."

Searching
his eyes, she drew closer, pressing her lips lightly against his. "Will
you, Jack?" she asked, her breath warm and moist against his. "Will
you make love with me?"

Jack
drew her down beside him, matching her length to his. "Yes," he
whispered, kicking the sheet from his legs. "God help me, but yes,"
he groaned and covered her mouth with his.

Alayna
almost wept at the feel of his mouth on hers. The taste, the texture, the
hunger with which he seemed to devour her. And when his hand found her breast,
she sighed, giving herself over to the sensations he drew. She closed her eyes,
determined to remember every detail. The width of his hand, the strength in it.
Each and every callus that chafed against her bare skin.

And
his lips when he suckled her. Gently at first, then drawing her more fully into
his mouth, his tongue laving her nipple until she ached for more.

And
more never seemed to be enough.

She
framed his face with her hands, feeling the muscles of his jaw work, glorying
in the sensations that flooded her body. He lifted his head to meet her gaze,
then used his weight to push her onto her back, never once taking his eyes from
hers.

He
spoke not with words, but with his hands and with his eyes, telling her how
precious she was to him. And Alayna knew his feelings, saw them in his eyes,
felt them in every stroke of his fingers across her flesh. Never had she felt
more loved than she had at that moment, never so blessed.

Kneeling
beside her, he opened her robe fully, then sank back on his heels, moving his
gaze to hers. "You are so beautiful," he whispered, laying a palm on
her stomach. "So very, very beautiful." He leaned and pressed a kiss
to her abdomen, then lifted his head to look at her. "I wish I could put a
baby here," he whispered. "One of your very own for you to
love."

Alayna
felt the familiar tears swell, but this time there was no regret, no sense of inadequacy
because she didn't have the ability to produce the child he wanted to gift her
with. There was only a sense of joy that Jack cared enough to want to give her
her dreams.

Reaching
for him, she drew his face to hers and sighed her pleasure against his lips as
he moved over her, matching his body to her length. She spread her legs,
creating a nest for him, welcoming him in … then gasped when the heat of his
arousal touched her feminine opening. She arched to meet him, taking him in,
then followed him in a dance that had existed since the beginning of time.

She
stroked his back with her hands, shaping each straining muscle, then moved her
hands to his chest, seeking the beat of his heart, the warmth of his soul.

And
when he dropped his chest against hers, she wrapped her arms around his neck
and clung while he whispered in her ear, "Come with me, Alayna. Come with
me now."

She
closed her eyes and focused on his movements, feeling each ebb and flow of his
body within her. The heat built to a blinding inferno and she knotted her
fingers in his hair. She pressed her head back against the pillow, unable to
bear the sensations that seemed to keep building and building within her,
demanding release, and Jack pressed his lips to the smooth column of her throat.
"Now," he growled against her fevered skin. "Now!" And he
drove himself deeply inside her.

Alayna
heard a guttural cry and was shocked when she realized that it was her own.
Then she was falling, falling, faster and faster until her head spun with the
dizzying sensation and her body felt as if it was no longer her own.

The
explosion came simultaneously, a shower of blinding light that left her
breathless and weak. She reached for Jack, certain that she had lost him in the
fall, and felt a shudder rack his body. Then he collapsed, letting his full
weight rest on her and she welcomed the pressure, wrapping her arms around his
neck and holding him close.

She
rubbed her cheek against his, loving the feel of his beard scraping her skin,
then turned her lips to his ear. "I love you, Jack," she whispered.
"I love you so much."

When
he tensed, she clutched him tighter to her. "It's okay," she
reassured him. "You don't have to love me, too."

Slowly
Jack relaxed, grateful for her understanding. He rolled to his side, drawing
her with him and molding her shape to his. He dipped his head to look into her
eyes. What he found there filled him with peace. No condemnation, no regrets,
just clear blue eyes that met his gaze openly and without a hint of remorse. He
smiled softly, then tucked her head in the curve of his neck. With a sigh, he
pressed his lips to the top of her head, then rested his chin there.

"Sleep
with me, Alayna," he whispered and closed his eyes.

Jack
awakened before dawn and rolled over, instinctively reaching for Alayna, as if
he had done so every morning of his life.

But
his hands found only cool sheets. He opened his eyes, then closed them with a
groan when he confirmed that she wasn't there. He fisted his hands against the
soft cotton. She was gone.

And
soon he would be, too.

Jack
checked the fastening on his camper that he had replaced over his truck's bed
the night before, made sure it was secure, then headed for the driver's side of
his truck. He opened the door, then paused, hooking an arm through the open
window as he looked one last time in the direction of the house. Setting his
jaw, he climbed into his truck and started the engine.

He
shifted into drive and pressed down on the accelerator, and focused on the road
ahead. He passed by the house and pushed his foot a little closer to the
floorboard. By the time he reached the highway, he was all but flying.

Or
was that running?

He
shook his head and set his eyes on the white line marking the center of the
highway. He'd chase the white line, he told himself, and see where it took him.
And he wouldn't look back.

He
didn't dare.

Alayna
stepped onto the patio, and looked up at the morning sky. She closed her eyes
and hugged her arms beneath her breasts, drawing in a deep breath. It's going
to be a wonderful day, she promised herself.

Releasing
the breath, she opened her eyes and looked out across the pond to the hills
where the sun was showing off its morning colors.

He
was gone. She knew without looking toward the cabin, or the barn, that Jack had
already left. She sensed the loss before she turned and verified that his truck
was missing.

She
drew in a shuddery breath and pressed her hand against her heart. She wouldn't
be sad, she told herself. He had left her with nothing but wonderful memories.

She
turned for the house, and stumbled to a stop, her hand going again to her
heart. There beside the back door stood the old harvest table, its oak patina
glowing radiantly in the morning sun. Pressing her fingers against her lips,
she crossed to it and laid a hand on the polished wood. She could almost feel
the care that had gone into restoring it. The warmth of Jack's hand. The
tenderness with which he had worked on the scarred wood.

She
smoothed her hand across the top, unashamed of the tears that dripped onto the
surface and beaded there. He'd done this for her, she thought, feeling her
heart swell, because he'd understood how much the old table had meant to her.

She
couldn't help but wonder what she had meant to him.

Jack
drove until his eyes burned and the register on the gas gauge was drifting on
the wrong side of empty. Seeing a service station ahead, he whipped onto the
asphalt deck and stopped beside the pump.

Climbing
out of his truck, he pressed his hands to his back and stretched. He kicked out
a leg as he rounded the hood, getting the blood flowing again. He'd been
driving for a good five hours.

He
slipped a credit card into the slot, punched in his selection, then pulled the
nozzle from its anchor. Whistling to pass the time, he stuck the nozzle into
his gas tank, and squeezed the lever. He turned his back to his truck, propped
a foot against the tire while the gas pumped and looked around. The station was
like a hundred others he'd stopped at during the six months he'd been on the
run.

And
now he was on the run again.

He
ducked his head and fitted his thumb and finger over his eyes and rubbed. He
wouldn't think about them, he told himself. He'd—

He
jumped when he felt the truck rock against his back and turned to stare at it.
He waited to see if it moved again. If it didn't, he was afraid he was losing
his mind.

He
almost laughed at that. Hell, he'd lost his mind a long time ago. That, and his
heart.

But
then he thought he caught a slight movement. Shutting off the gas, he shoved
the nozzle back into its anchor, then moved quietly to the back of his truck.
He stared at the camper door a moment, wondering what waited for him on the
other side.

Frowning,
he twisted the handle and jerked the door wide.

Billy
sat on the floor of the camper, his eyes bugged wide. He gulped, then tried a
shaky grin. "Hi, Jack."

Jack
braced his hands on his hips. "What in the hell do you think you're
doing?"

Billy
crawled to the door and swung his legs over and dropped to the ground. He
looked up at Jack, squinting against the sun. "Running away with
you."

Jack
grabbed him by the arm and marched him a few feet away, then spun him around.
"Does Alayna know where you are?"

"No,
sir."

"Do
you have any idea how worried she must be right now?"

Billy
ducked his head and chipped at the rough asphalt driveway with the toe of his
tennis shoe. "I guess she'd be pretty worried."

"Well,
I'm taking you back," Jack said angrily as he tugged the boy by the elbow
and dragged him toward a phone booth. "But first we're going to call her
and tell her you are all right."

Billy
dug in his heels, dragging Jack to a stop. "No, please, Jack," he
begged. "Don't take me back. I want to go with you."

Jack
braced his hands on his hips, glaring down at the boy. "You're not going
with me, all right? You're going back to Alayna's." He whirled and marched
on. "Now come on. We're going to call her."

Billy
ran to catch up with him, pulling on the back of his shirt to stop him.
"No, Jack, please. I don't want to go back there. I want to go with
you." When Jack turned to glare at him again, Billy's eyes were filled
with tears. "I won't be any trouble. I promise. And I can work for you,
just like I did when we were at Alayna's. I'll work hard. You'll see. And I
won't eat much, so you don't have to worry about buying me a bunch of food.
Please, Jack?"

Jack
inhaled deeply, and slowly dropped to a knee. "Billy, you have a home with
Alayna. I don't have a home for you."

"I
don't need a home. I can sleep in the camper with you. There's room."

"Alayna
will miss you, Billy."

He
ducked his head. "No, she won't. Not for long, anyways. Nobody wants me.
My mom and dad didn't. And those other foster people didn't, either. They just
keep me for a while then move me on to another house. Nobody cares what happens
to me."

Jack
watched a tear fall and splat against the asphalt. Setting his jaw, he
stretched out an arm and yanked Billy hard against his chest and to his knee.
"I care, Billy," he said, his voice gruff with emotion. "And
Alayna does, too."

"Then
t-take me with you, J-Jack.
Ple-e-ease?"

Jack
let his head fall back as pain ripped through his chest. How could he turn his
back on this boy who needed him? How many more parts of his heart could he
afford to leave behind before there was nothing left? How could he bear to say
goodbye to the kid one more time? How far would he have to run before he
realized that he couldn't outrun his grief? It always seemed to be there
waiting for him, when he stopped to catch his breath.

And
how could he leave Alayna? How could he survive even a day without the beauty
of her smile, the comfort and warmth of her touch? He needed her. He wanted
her. He loved her.

Setting
his jaw, Jack gathered Billy up in his arms and carried him to the truck. He
opened the door and sat Billy down on the passenger seat and strapped the seat
belt around him. Billy watched him through tear-filled eyes. "What're you
doin? Where're you goin', Jack?" he asked when Jack started to close the
door.