Texas Wild (western romance and sex) (western romance) (2 page)

With his mind still in a clouded state, Matt stopped through the house and threw himself down on the couch. “What a fucking idiot!” he screamed at himself. It was another of at least a half-dozen, self-loathing rants which he had directed at himself since he had gotten out of earshot of the guest house. How could he have been so stupid?

Every time he drank a little bit, he did something stupid. The thing was, he didn’t drink very often. An occasional beer, but for the most part, he rarely allowed himself to drink until he was out of control. His birthday wasn’t normally much of a big deal and he rarely allowed himself to get out of hand even on his birthday. How could he have been so stupid?

As he sobered a little bit more, mostly due to the embarrassment and the anger which followed along on its tail, he realized that he had no idea who the girl, no lady, staying in the guest house was. Through his alcohol fogged brain, he had derived that she was a friend of Amy. That same realization convicted him of an even greater failure when he had suggested that they have a threesome. That was disgusting!

In his defense, he hadn’t come to a complete realization that Amy and the lady were friends and that the threesome would… “Fuck it!” he screamed. He couldn’t justify anything to himself. He had completely and thoroughly made an ass of himself in front of his sister and her friend. Her sister’s friend would have already formed a horrible picture in her mind of him and he couldn’t stand that anyone think of him in an ill manner. The drunk in the guesthouse was not who he was. Who the hell was she anyway?

The worst terror that could have struck him came as his sobriety increased and he recalled the look of utter fear that had been on her face as he pursued her. He had seen that look in the eyes of a trapped wild animal that was certain that it would soon be killed. Recalling that look on her face brought him down to a deeper form of depression and anger as he realized how horribly he must have frightened her. Had his drunken mind been set on rape? Was he capable of something like that?

It was in the this deep state of remorse and questioning of himself that Amy found him an hour later; still in the same position on the couch with his face buried in his hands. “You alright?” she asked.

“Fuck no!” he snapped.

Amy sat down beside her brother. She held back the urge to touch him on the back and comfort him. He was in a state of mind that her touch might not be exactly what he wanted and might actually work the opposite effect. She sat silently, knowing that it was best to let him speak when he was ready. She didn’t have to wait long.

“I made a fucking fool of myself!” she shouted. “I scared the lady to death. She probably thinks that I’m a rapist. Oh god, I really fucked up this time. I’m never drinking again. Not one single fucking drop.” He set his lips in a firm expression as he gazed off into some unknown place, determined to never make another mistake. “And the shit I said… oh my god, did she tell you what I wanted to do?”

“Yes,” she answered simply. She let him continue his rant.

“I’m a disgusting pig to even think that way,” he continued. “God, she must think I’m a sick perverted asshole.” He looked at her expecting a response.

“Well, to be honest,” she began. “You didn’t make the best first impression.”

“I fucking knew it!” he bellowed, standing up, pacing, rubbing his face and running his fingers through his hair. The turmoil inside was seething out of every pore of his being. The tension was all over his body and in his face. The thickness of the air in the room was stifling, but Amy wisely held her tongue until she saw him relax and return to the seat beside her on the couch. He threw his head back with a heavy sigh and pushed his legs out straight in front of him.

“What’s her name anyway?” he whispered. “I’ll need it for the humiliating apology that I need to make.”

“Her name is Reenie,” she replied. “She’s one of my best friends from college.”

“When did she get here?” he asked. “Why is she in the guesthouse? Not that it makes any difference, I should have behaved better.”

“She got here several days ago,” Amy explained. “She came from Boston after she caught her fiancé in bed with another woman, so she’s been holed up in the guesthouse for several days. That’s probably why you didn’t notice. Hell, I haven’t seen you to talk to you for nearly a week.”

“Oh great,” he berated himself. “She’s trying to get over one asshole and another one comes plunging through her door.”

“You’re not an asshole,” she said.

“What the fuck would you call it then?” his eyes penetrated right through her.

“Someone that got drunk and stumbled into a situation that he wasn’t expecting.” She made the excuse for him. She knew what a wonderful man he was. She knew that he was hard-working and a dedicated gentleman, brother, son and friend. In truth, he was nearly a perfect man, the kind of man that she measured all others against. The reason that she was still single is that she had been unable to find someone who could measure up to Matt. “You’re a good man, Matt. You just made a mistake.”

“Yep,” he said, setting his lips in firm determination once more. “One that I gotta fix right now.”

“Now is probably not the time,” she warned, making an attempt to hold him back as he rose up off of the couch and stormed to the door. She followed him and attempted to stop him again, but he shrugged her off as he took down his hat and put it on his head. “This isn’t the time Matt.”

“I’m not going to have her thinking what she’s thinking about me all night,” he said. “I can’t fix all of it, but I can damned sure apologize.”

“It can wait until morning,” she advised.

“It can’t wait until morning,” he said. “I need to fix things now.”

Amy knew that she could not stop him. Once Matt had something set in his mind, it was like prying a steak out of a pit bull’s mouth to get him to change it. It was a great quality, it went along with his character and honesty and she admired it in him. She also knew, however, that women didn’t always see things the same way that men did and going back to talk to Reenie, tonight, would very likely only make things worse. The least she could do was tag along behind.

She felt like the little sister again as she trotted along behind her big brother who strode with long, quick determined steps toward the guesthouse. She knew that in a normal state of mind, Reenie would likely laugh it all off and things would be okay, but after what Reenie had just gone through, she wasn’t holding out any hope for a positive outcome to this visit, regardless of how sincere it was.

Matt arrived at the door and knocked heavily before she was even up onto the porch behind him. She heard Reenie’s voice on the other side of the door asking who it was.

“Reenie,” he called out. “It’s Matt, Amy’s brother.”

“I really think we’ve had enough for one night Matt,” she replied through the door.

Amy saw how hard the words struck him. He was being turned away from an apology that was already humiliating enough. “I need to apologize,” he called through the door. He plunged on ahead with his objective in mind.

“It can wait until morning,” she said.

“No, it really can’t,” he answered. “I made a fool of myself and I need to make things right.”

There was a long pause as the stalemate, in the form of a closed door separating the two, held fast.

“It’s okay, Reenie, I’m here too,” Amy called out. If her brother had to do it tonight, she may as well help facilitate things so that they could get it over with. She knew that Matt had to look her in the eyes for his apology to count; it was just his way of doing things.

At the sound of Amy’s reassurance, Reenie opened the door wide enough for them to see her face in the opening. “Okay,” she said. “Apologize then.” It wasn’t exactly the most open invitation that Matt might have hoped for. She was as stubbornly set as she had been before, but now the fear was replaced by a dark, meanness in her eyes that belied Satan himself.

Swallowing hard as he faced the stonewall which Reenie had put up in front of him, Matt plunged on ahead with his apology. “Reenie, I am very sorry for my behavior tonight. I know that I frightened you. I did not intend to do so and I am making no excuses. It will never happen again.”

“Okay,” she replied and closed the door. The sound of the latch being turned to lock it was punctuation to the statement.

“He’s really an awesome guy Reenie,” Amy explained as they sat at the kitchen table in the guesthouse eating the sandwiches that she brought for their lunch. In spite of herself, she couldn’t help trying to smooth things over. She had seen the way that Matt had turned away from the door after having made his apology. Not another word had been spoken between she and her brother as he shuffled back to his house and she to hers. She had however, overheard him in the barn earlier that morning and knew that the foul words that were being dished out upon some poor creature meant that he was still tearing himself up inside.

“Hrumf,” was the only reply that came out of her mouth as she attacked her sandwich with new attention.

“He was trying to set things…” she began again.

“Look, Amy, I love you and all. I’m very grateful that you let me come stay here, but your brother is an asshole and I want nothing to do with him. Just leave it alone, please.”

The message was clear enough and Amy didn’t feel like pushing it any further. She hated to have her friend thinking badly about her brother, but she would only make it worse if she pushed things. Matt had made his apology. They had both tried to straighten things out, but Reenie wasn’t interested in forgiving him for his error. It was probably just too much at the wrong time. She changed the subject. “So, how are you getting along here? Do you need anything? I’m not sure how you’re set up for cash or how long you plan to stay, but I just want you to know that I’ll keep your fridge stocked and you can stay as long as you like.”

“I’m okay mostly,” Reenie answered. She was instantly sorry for the way she had just spoken to Amy. She was being wonderful to her and she hadn’t wanted for a single thing since she had arrived. The truth of the matter was that she was on an emotional rollercoaster and she simply didn’t have time to worry over apologies, forgiveness and any other problem with a man, especially a gorgeous man like Matt who had actually proven, by taking responsibility and making an apology, that he maybe wasn’t an asshole. It was bad timing mostly, but she still didn’t have the time or the energy to deal with him. “Amy, I’m sorry for snapping at you. You’ve been wonderful to me. It’s just a very bad time for me.”

“Don’t sweat it. Anything you need is right here. All you gotta do is call.”

“And you’ll be there woa woa woa, you’ve got a friend,” Reenie replied, laughing and breaking the tension that lingered a little bit between them. It had been one of their favorite games in college. They had discovered that almost every situation had a song that would go along with it perfectly. As often as possible, they finished off each other’s statements with a song.

“Oh that was a good one,” Amy giggled. She racked her brain to try to come up with a response, but it had been too long since she’d played the game and a song didn’t come easily. “God, we used to do that all of the time!”

“I know, right?” Reenie responded. She suddenly became sober as her emotions took another tumble. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too,” Amy answered. “I’m glad you’re here now, regardless of the circumstances. We’ll have fun and pick up where we left off.”

“Thanks,” she said simply. She could feel the tears building up on the rims of her eyes. It was good to have such a wonderful friend. She wanted to open up and spill her guts, but she wasn’t sure what to say. He had cheated on her; she had been an idiot not to see it coming. “I’ve been a fool.”

“That’s okay. You didn’t know and it wasn’t exactly your fault,” she made the statement and then suddenly had a song pop into her head. She grinned as she recited the line. “Everybody plays the fool, sometimes.”

“Oh my god,” Reenie broke out laughing. “You’re the best!” She put down her sandwich and leaned over into her friends arms for a hug. Amy always knew exactly how to handle her. She hadn’t really forgotten that, it was one of the main reasons that she so quickly called her after the horrifying sight of the redhead… She had to push it out of her mind, though it was already too late by the time she thought to push it away. The tears started forming all over again. “Shit!” she exclaimed as she pulled away from the hug and wiped her eyes with her napkin. “I can’t go 30 seconds without flipping to a whole different emotion. I’m going fucking crazy!”

“Tell you what,” Amy started out. “Do you still remember how to ride?”

“Of course,” she replied. She remembered how much she loved to ride and she remembered Amy teaching her at the stables not far from the college. “I had the best teacher in the world.”

“As soon as we finish lunch we’ll go for a ride,” she said. “Does that sound good? Nothing like the wind in your face and good horse underneath to bring you back to your senses.”

“I’d love too,” she replied. “Only, I don’t have any clothes. I left with what I had on and I’ve pretty much stayed in the shorts and t-shirts that I bought on the way here.”

“I think I can hook you up,” Amy said. They were pretty nearly the exact same size. In fact, in college, when they roomed together for their last two years, they had more or less had a community closet between them and shared their clothes all of the time.

When they had finished lunch, they strolled over to Amy’s house and dug out the proper clothes to go riding and then headed for the barn. In just a few minutes, they were saddled and ready to ride. They headed out of the ranch yard over the rolling hills of the East Texas ranch.

Amy was completely right, as usual. Feeling the wind in her face and a good horse underneath was the perfect remedy for what was going on inside of her. Though the emotions were still there and they struggled with each other for the top position, she seemed to have a greater power over them and more control over blocking out the negative ones and focusing on the positive ones. There truly was some form of therapeutic magic involved in riding a horse in the wide open country.

They spoke very little, each of them enjoying the myriad of sensations that rushed in upon them and each allowed their minds to wander as they rode along. As they got further away from the ranch, they began to chat about light subjects and particular plants, animals and scenery that they saw along the way. It was the kind of talk that was relaxing and kept Reenie’s emotions balanced.

For a week, it became a regular habit for the two of them to eat lunch together and then go riding. With each passing day, it got easier for Reenie to control the violent swings of emotion that had been driving her crazy. She started sleeping better at night as she became more comfortable with her surroundings and because the fresh air and sunshine had set her mood aright.

On one occasion, as they were returning to the barn, they bumped into Matt. It wasn’t exactly the person that she wanted to see, but she decided that she could at least tolerate him, since he was Amy’s brother.

“You get along pretty good on ole’ Blaze,” he commented, searching for something to talk to her about. “He treats you pretty good don’t he?”

“Yes,” she answered politely, but offered no more conversation.

“What you need to do is steal Amy’s black gelding, Sandy, and take him for a spin,” he suggested, glancing over at his sister with an amused smile on his face.

“Why would I want to do that?” she looked around at Amy, sensing that there was a joke being played on her.

“He’s forever trying to steal my Sandy,” Amy replied. “Well, mister smarty pants, it just so happens that SHE can ride him any time she wants to, unlike a particularly bothersome brother of mine.”

“Oh, I doubt you’ll have to worry much over Andy,” he responded, grinning broadly. His eyes twinkled and he winked playfully at Reenie. “He’s not really that bothersome either. He’s a good enough guy. Amy’s just jealous that we both ride better than she does.”

“That’ll be the day,” Amy responded.

The Linda Ronstadt song immediately jumped into Reenie’s brain in spite of herself, she started to smile and hum the chorus to the tune.

“Oh shit!” Matt replied. “You too! She’s crazy enough, but I have to put up with both of you doing that?”

“Where do you think she got it from?” Amy laughed.

“Hey, wait a second,” Reenie protested. “I didn’t get that from you. You got it from me!”

“You’re the one that taught her that?” Matt asked, boring through to her soul with his blue eyes.

“It was a game that we used to play,” Amy explained.

“I think I had better just steer clear of the two of you then,” he said turning away in mock disgust and striding away from the barn. It was something that aggravated him sometimes when Amy used it to tease him, but he really wasn’t all that disgusted with it in reality and admired the fact that it was Reenie who had actually come up with it.

“Come on Reenie,” she said, continuing on toward the barn to unsaddle their horses