Texas Twilight (37 page)

There was a long pause before Brandon nudged
her, “Go on.”

“
They’re
loved by
everyone
. I can
see why you’d like being a part of that, Brandon. But, when I get
married, I want to be loved for just being me. Charity.” She
searched his face to see if he understood what she was trying to
say. “Without the McCutcheon name, the ranch, or all the fanfare
that comes with it. I know that sounds really horrible because I
love my family—and everyone in it. I do. But, I can’t help it. It’s
how I feel.”

He gathered her closer and Charity thought
she’d die from the joy of finally being in his arms. “I do love you
for just for being you. If you don’t know that by now then I don’t
know how else to prove it to you. Even as aggravating, headstrong,
outspoken and downright—”

She
stiffened. “
Okay
, I get
it.”

“—
infuriating as you are sometimes,” he whispered next to her
ear, then chuckled. “I
do
love
you. God help me, I do. You think I’d tangle with a monster-sized
rattlesnake for just anyone?”

His eyes darkened and he pressed closer,
taking her lips again with his, kissing her slowly, showing her
just how much he wanted her. She was drowning in desire when he
whispered, “I’d go anywhere with you, darling. Just name the place.
We don’t have to go back to Montana. If that is what it’ll take to
prove my love, then so be it.”

Charity sought his lips, blissfully happy by
his avowal of love. Before the kiss could heat up she couldn’t stop
a little laugh from slipping out.

Brandon pulled away. “Something funny?” His
hair was mussed and a strand of hay fell over his eye. She thought
he’d never looked more handsome.

“Just something Luke told me once.”

He went up on his elbow and gazed down into
her face. “And what was that?”

Again she laughed, unable to contain her
happiness. “To be careful who I rolled in the hay with.”

Brandon’s eyebrow cocked up humorlessly. “You
make a habit of this?”

Right then the barn doors banged open and
Charity all but gasped. Brandon’s eyes widened, then sparkled with
mischief.

“Come on, Chester,” Cradle said. A creaking
sound attested to the fact Cradle was taking Chester out of his
stall. He clucked to the old gelding, then there was a jingling
sound as Cradle went about harnessing him. “Hey, Theodore, you mind
mucking out Chester’s stall while he’s out for a while.”

“Nope. I’ll do it now.”

Brandon pulled Charity closer. “So, you want
to marry me?” he asked quietly. Charity was terrified of getting
caught in the loft, and by Brandon’s expression, he knew exactly
what she was thinking. She tried to shush him but he came in closer
and resumed where he’d left off, kissing the corner of her mouth
and nibbling on her lips. His spell once again wrapped around her
and she almost forgot the threat of discovery from below. She
leaned in, then drew back quickly when Theodore laughed at
something.

Brandon whispered, “It’s just kissing.”

She clamped her hand over his mouth.

“Did you say something?” Cradle called from
the other side of the barn.

“Nope,” Theodore answered. The squeaky wheel
from the wheelbarrow screeched out, followed by the shuffling of
straw.

“Hey, boys. I need to get our horses rigged
and a buggy hitched. We’re going home. Winnie is plain wore out and
I’d rather drive her than have her ride. How long will it
take?”

Charity’s
mouth went dry.
Uncle Winston!

“That’s what I’m doing now. Saw Tucker out on
the street and he said you’d be wanting a buggy. I’ll have Chester
ready in a couple of minutes, then I’ll tack up your horses. Won’t
take me long.”

“Thanks, Cradle, appreciate it. How is
Theo…”

Charity felt something crawling up her leg
and kicked out in reflex. The hay rustled loudly and the talking in
the livery stopped.

“Oh, damn,” Brandon whispered into her ear.
“That may’ve done it.”

Charity lifted her head, frantically looking
for somewhere to hide. Muffled voices floated up from downstairs
past her panicked senses, then she heard the barely audible scrape
of boots on ladder rungs. Brandon sat up and pulled her up with
him. He quickly brushed long strands of alfalfa from her hair, then
waved at Cradle when his head poked over the wooden landing.

The livery keeper’s eyes went wide in
surprise, then crinkled in understanding. He looked from one side
to the next, then shrugged. “Nope. Nothing up here, Mr.
McCutcheon,” he called down. “Must have been a mouse.” He chuckled,
then stared back down the ladder. “Or, maybe two.”

J
ohn was aware
of Dustin watching as he escorted Lily out the door and over the
few steps to her shop. He felt bad, but not all that much. Life was
hard. Hurt was an everyday occurrence. Something had to give
between him and Dustin, and as he opened the door for Lily to go
in, he knew it wasn’t going to be him.

The place was quiet, the smell of smoke
strong. He still couldn’t believe Boone had broken out of jail and
come back for the jewel. So much could have gone wrong. He was
thankful that it hadn’t.

“She must be sleeping,” Lily said softly.
“She usually calls down if she hears the bell.”

“She’s been sleeping a lot lately, hasn’t
she?”

Lily nodded. “And there is more.”

“What do you mean?”

“Tonight she was very confused. She thought I
was her sister, not her niece. She insisted on calling me Gretchen.
I did not know what to do and I did not want to upset her, so I
just went along.”

“Maybe she’s just shaken from the events
tonight. I’m sure it was very traumatic for her. Or—”

“What?”

“She may be slipping into senility. We need
to remember Harriett is old. Plus, coming off her dependence to
morphine may have added to her confusion. It’s hard to know for
sure. I just want you to be prepared if she should get worse.”

Lily nodded. “I am prepared, John. I hope she
is not becoming senile. How sad for her. And us.”

When she started for the stairs John reached
for her hands. “There’s something I want to tell you.”

Lily looked at him with a thousand questions
in her eyes. He’d never felt compelled to share this with anyone,
not even Emmeline when they’d gotten engaged. Now he was almost
eager to get it off his chest. “When I was a boy I killed a man. A
good man.” He took a deep breath. “A friend of our family.”

Lily didn’t turn away in horror or disgust,
but waited for him to continue.

“He was a merchant delivering some panes of
glass for a broken window. I was nine years old, home alone. When I
heard a crash downstairs I thought someone was breaking in. I
grabbed my gun and ran downstairs. I didn’t mean to shoot him, but
I did. Killed him in cold blood.”

“Why are you telling me this, John? I do not
understand. I am sure God knows you were just a boy. Let it go.
Forgive yourself. I am sure he has done that long ago.”

Overwhelmed, he closed his eyes. He felt an
unfamiliar stirring. Something flittering in his gut until he
recognized it for what it was…the forgiveness he’d been holding
back. After all these years he was able to forgive himself and that
forgiveness flowed within, and brought with it an indescribable joy
he’d never experienced before. Overcome with something surreal and
bright, something bordering on extreme ecstasy, he said, “You heard
Emmeline tonight? And Chaim?”

“I did.”

“Well?”

“What are you asking me?” Her face flushed.
He wasn’t so sure he wanted to know the answer to his question. Had
more happened between her and Dustin than he’d realized? It easily
could have.

She straightened as he waited for an answer.
The words jumbled in his head and he cursed himself for not
planning out the best way of going about this. He’d jumped in like
a…

“Just wondering—well—if—I want to tell
you—that—” Damn, this was harder than he thought. With Emmeline,
she’d always helped. Naturally flirtatious, she’d been able to read
him like a book, and liked the fun of the chase. Lily was the
opposite. Her naiveté was as real as the thudding of his
unexpectedly shy heart.

“
I was
curious,” John began again, “if you realized that if Chaim and
Emmeline were sweet on each other that meant, well, I was now
free.” Annoyed at how assuming that sounded, he snorted.
Here I am, Lily.
Come’n get me
.

Appalled, he raked his hand though his hair.
“I didn’t mean it to sound like that.” He shrugged and tried again:
“What I’m trying to say is that I’m no longer engaged. And, since
I’m no longer engaged, I was wondering if you’d consider—” What?
Being my wife? Marrying me tonight? He almost laughed at the
absurdity of how that statement sounded—even more outrageous than
his last one, even if it was true. Since meeting Lily he’d changed.
He’d never felt more sure about anything in his life. “—going to
the Fourth of July celebration with me?” he finished, chickening
out.

“Is that what this is all about? You silly
goose. That is two weeks away.”

“I know.” He gave her hands a gentle tug and
pulled her into his embrace. She fit perfectly and felt so
right.

“Lily, I can’t lie,” he said into her hair
that smelled like sweet honeysuckle. “I’ve been drawn to you since
we first met. I tried to deny it to myself. Tried to stay away,
stay honorable to Emmeline, but I must admit, it’s been difficult.
Then when I went out yesterday to talk to Emmeline, determined to
break it off, well, I don’t want to betray a confidence, but let me
just say, she was in total agreement about ending our
engagement.”

Lily took a step back, needing a little
space, a moment to absorb everything John had just said. In one
split second it was as if all her prayers had been answered. Did he
have any idea that she had felt the same attraction to him since
boarding the Wells Fargo stagecoach? Could he possibly know about
the butterflies that practically lived in her stomach whenever he
was close?

“You’re killing me,” John stated, seriously.
He hadn’t taken his eyes from her face since his unexpected
statement. “You have noticed Emmeline doting on Chaim at every
moment, haven’t you?”

In that moment the realization of the
situation sunk in. She began to shiver in excitement and shock. “I
have. I didn’t know what to think.”

John closed the distance between them, desire
easily recognizable in his eyes. “But, you still haven’t said
anything about us.”

He pulled her close, and she felt sure he was
going to kiss her, but she wanted to say something first. She
stopped him with a hand on his chest and almost giggled when his
brows fell in disappointment.

“Lily?”

“I have many, many feelings for you, John. So
much more that I thought possible to feel for a man. It has been
difficult not to let them show, or come to the surface. I did not
want to do anything that might hurt you if your destiny was with
Emmeline.”

John wrapped her in the safe haven of his
arms. His lips found hers, warm and inviting. The kiss was gentle,
questioning. She leaned into him, needing more—something to prove
she wasn’t asleep and this was a dream and she’d soon awaken to
utter disappointment. A thousand times she had dreamt of this
moment, been tempted to allow her thoughts to wander and make
believe—but she knew thoughts like those only lead to heartbreak.
So she had stayed her desires, wishing only the best for him. But
now, because dreams sometimes really do come true, she did not have
to imagine what it would feel like to be in John’s arms anymore,
imagine what it felt like to have his lips on hers and to kiss him
passionately. Now that she was here, she never wanted to leave this
spot, this moment.

John cupped her face, drinking in the
softness of her lips, the velvety feel of her supple skin. “There’s
more I want to say to you. Much more.” His hands stray down her
back. “Lily, I love you. I want you to be my wife. Before you say
anything, just listen to what I have to say. I know you think this
is sudden, but it’s not really, not for me. I’ve never been surer
of anything in my life. We were meant for each other. Of that, I’m
confident.”

“Marry you?” She wanted to pinch herself.

“I can’t live without you.” He kissed her
again. “The sooner the better.”

Lily realized this was her destiny calling.
Tomorrow she might be dead. Look at poor Sheriff Dane. He surely
did not realize today was going to be his last. She nuzzled closer,
knowing he was the only man she’d ever want. “Yes. I will marry
you. I…I love you, too.” Joy burst inside her at finally being able
to tell him. “But, what about Chaim and Emmeline?”

“What do you mean?” he asked. His face was
radiant.

“Will we be stealing their thunder, so to
speak? Especially if we marry so quickly?”

“They won’t care. They’re just so happy that
they found each other they probably won’t even notice. It’s
amazing, isn’t it? All the things that have happened. When are you
thinking? The sooner the better.”

Lily glanced away. Her Mütti’s loving face
came into her thoughts, reminding her of her mother’s request.
Others might get married by a justice of the peace, but that
prospect made Lily’s heart heavy. She just had to bring it up, and
suddenly realized she didn’t know everything about John after
all.

“What?” he asked softly.

“It would mean everything to me…”

“Yes, Lily? Tell me.”

“My parents asked only one thing of me before
I left Germany. That when I got married, to do it in the church. By
a priest. It is the faith I was raised in. And means so much to me.
I know there is a church here but…”