Texas Strong (33 page)

“Maybe there is. I don’t know. But I do know this: I’m going to do everything in my power to love you right, and if you’ll trust me with those two children, I swear I’ll cut off my arms before I’ll harm them.”

“We need you, Tank, even more than you need us.”

“Not possible. You’re all I know of joy and light.” He yanked her close. “I wish I could burn away my memories and come to you clean and new.” His big arms held her as though she was what kept him standing.

She lifted a shaking hand to brush his hair and stroke his jaw. “Your memories are part of the good, kind, brave man you are. You’re the strongest man I know, but you don’t always have to be. You can lean on me, too.”

“I don’t know how.” His heart was in his eyes. “I’m afraid of leaning too hard.”

“We’ll hold each other up, how about that?” She slid her arms around his neck and hugged him close, an embrace that wasn’t meant to be sexual, though desire hummed beneath her skin. Right now was about comfort for both of them, and as his powerful arms banded her and held her almost too tightly to breathe, she turned her face into his throat. “I love you,” she whispered in his ear.

His big body shuddered, then he lifted her right off the ground, speaking in a deep, earnest growl. “I swear to you that I will spend my life seeing that you don’t regret taking a chance on me.”

She spread her fingers over the back of his head and gripped him more tightly still. “Does that mean you might love me, too?”

“I don’t say those words.” Then he held her away enough to look into her eyes. “I never thought anyone would want me to.”

“I do. So much, Tank.”

“Then I will.” He took a deep breath. “Your love is my only hope of salvation. I don’t deserve you, but I do love you. From the bottom of this broken, beat-up heart, I love you, Chrissy.”

She placed her hand over his chest where she felt the beat. “It’s a valiant heart, and I want you to trust me to take good care of it.”

He embraced her, and they stayed that way for long, sweet moments that began to feel like hope.

Then she registered the wetness of his sleeve. “You’re still bleeding! We have to fix it right this second.”

“I can’t even feel it.” His gaze was tender.

“Oh no! That’s probably a really bad sign. Put me down right now. I’m calling Jake to come and doctor you—”

“No, you’re not.” He lowered his head to hers and kissed away the lecture that was brimming.

And for those precious, sweet moments, she let him. She sank into his kiss, feeling the bright hope of their future.

Then she slugged his good arm. “Let me down. We’re taking care of that bandage right now, and if you don’t behave, I’m calling Jake and Bridger and—” She realized the biggest threat she could make. “Veronica. So she can cry over you, too.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Bet me.” She tried a cocky smile, but she couldn’t pull it off. “Tank, please,” she asked quietly. “Let me take care of you.”

Something raw peered out from his beautiful blue eyes. “I don’t know how.”

No one had ever taken care of him? She battled past the need to smother him with sympathy he wouldn’t welcome. “Then it’s about time you learned.” And if she had anything to say about it, he’d get plenty of experience. She took his hand and led him into his little house, gathering her first look at how he lived.

The spartan nature of his quarters made her blink again, but she didn’t falter as she all but dragged him into the bathroom and flipped down the toilet seat and lid. “Sit.” She carefully removed tape and bandaging. “Oh, Tank—look at what he did to you!” She couldn’t help clasping him to her.

He leaned his forehead into the valley of her breasts, then released a long sigh as if weary to the depths of his soul.

She stood over him, stroking his head, then placing a kiss to the top of it. His wound was only seeping, and the greater damage should be seen to first. This brave man’s heart needed care even more than his body.

His big arms wrapped around her waist, and they both clung like shipwreck survivors. After a long moment, he finally looked up, vulnerable and open. “You’re sure?”

It wasn’t his wound he was talking about, she knew. He was giving her one more chance to walk away from all that loving him would entail.

“I have never been more sure of anything in my life.” Her own voice trembled.

With one hand, he thumbed away her tears. “I promise—” He had to clear his throat. “I will do everything in my power never to make you cry again.”

She found a smile and stroked his face. “Not all tears are bad, my love. Now let me fix this.”

Reluctantly he let her go, so she could.

With shaking hands, she made quick work of the bandaging. “There.” She fought to keep her voice steady. “Now, you need to rest.”

“Not without you.” He lifted her onto his lap and wrapped her up tightly.

“Oh, Tank…” She pressed her cheek to his hair and soaked in the closeness.

“I need you.” His voice was muffled.

A small thrill ran through her. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Abruptly he stood. “Yeah. You are.”

“Tank, put me down. You’ll tear your stitches again—”

“You weigh nothing,” he scoffed as he carried her to his bed, then abruptly halted and let her slide to her feet. He blew out a breath. “No. I can’t—this place isn’t—There’s no romance here.” He began to turn. “I’ll take you home.”

She gripped his arm and made him turn back. “I have my own car,” she said, placing her palm against his tight jaw. “But even if I didn’t, we’re not leaving.” The doubts in his eyes told her he was retreating again. “Come on.” It was like tugging a boulder to get him to move, but she was determined. She crawled onto his bed, then patted the empty mattress beside her. “Come here. Lie down with me.”

He was shaking his head, and she could see him walking away any second, so she gambled and began unbuttoning her blouse.

His whole big body jolted. “No. Don’t.” But his eyes never left her.

“Are you going to make me get naked before you do what we both want?”

At last his tortured gaze lifted. “And what is that?”

Since he remained in place, she unbuttoned her waistband and began to let her skirt fall open. “Don’t make me get rough with you, big guy.”

With relief she saw that the teasing tone skated past his rigid control. The corners of his mouth curved a little, even as he shook his head.

But he didn’t move away. She was scared half to death, yet she would never let him know it. Her sense that everything was on the line here, any hope of a future, made her fingers tremble as she rose and knee-walked across the mattress, then unbuckled his belt.

“Chrissy—” His hand stayed hers, and she wondered if she should give up.

But she just couldn’t. He needed this. They needed it, whether or not he would admit it. She lifted her gaze, knowing her cheeks were burning. “Are you going to leave me alone in this, Tank? Are you going to continue as though we mean nothing to each other?”

Shock flared. “No—it’s not—”

He had to take the final step himself, or it was all for nothing. She let go and retreated across the mattress, lying back, exposed and reckless in a way that both thrilled her and made her painfully self-conscious. “I’m here with you, exactly where I want to be,” she said quietly. “Will you walk away from me?”

He brushed a hand over his eyes. “No—God, no—” For a moment he simply stood still as a statue—

While her heart withered. She closed her eyes to gather the strength to go.

Suddenly the mattress dipped under his weight, but then movement stopped.

She couldn’t look yet, for fear he’d go away again.

Another dip, then a warm hand stroked her face from temple to chin. A finger painted the shape of her lips, and tears rushed to her eyes.

“Look at me, sweetheart.” He said that first endearment with a gravelly throat. “Please.”

She opened her eyes to see him kneeling beside her, his face a swirling mix of wonder and fear and something that looked like hope. “I’ve never made love before.” When her mouth dropped open in shock, he went on. “I mean—I’ve had sex, but…” His eyes never left hers. “I’ve never been with someone I loved before. I don’t know how to be as gentle as I should.”

She reached for him then, touching his throat, his lips, his eyelids. “I won’t break, I promise.”

“You’re so small. I could crush you.”

She smiled and opened her arms. “Crush me, then. Let me be surrounded by you. I want that, Tank.”

He settled at her side, stretching out, propped on one arm, the bandage on the other stark white against his skin. His bare chest was acres-huge, muscled and powerful.

A part of her wanted to eat him up, but this was all too new, too fragile. She rose a little and placed her lips against his bandage. When his big body shuddered, she took his hand and placed it on her breast, feeling a little like a teenager new to passion.

His fingers tightened on her breast, and it was her turn to shiver. She felt new to passion suddenly, and she wondered if he needed to hear that. “This is the first time for me, too. I’ve never felt this way before.” She kept her eyes on his. “You’re important, Tank. No one else has ever been important.”

His hand slid around to her back, and he drew her into his chest, burying his face in her throat as they clung together, survivors of their pasts, hostages to their future, the future they would make here. Beginning now.

Then he kissed her throat and began to work his way down her body. Big fingers unclasped her bra and spread it open. “You are so beautiful,” he said, his heated breath caressing her skin. His lips brushed over her nipple, then his tongue slicked the pebbled flesh and drew her into his mouth.

She slid her hands over his hair, holding him to her, tears pressing against the backs of her eyes. The sensation was electrifying and wonderful, yes, but…it was so much more. As he moved over her body, baring her, caressing her, making her feel cherished and worshipped, something warm and bright and golden rose within her. “Tank…” she murmured.

His gaze rose to hers, but his lips never paused.

“Come to me. I need you.”

Slowly he shook his head. “Not yet.” His hot breath painted over her belly, and the vulnerable man was replaced by a fierce and determined lover as he tormented her, taking his sweet time, letting his hands and his mouth speak in a secret language known only to the two of them.

Until she was flying, lost in wonder and a sky-spun beauty she’d never experienced.

At last he rose, standing to rid himself of all clothing, baring his body to her, that noble, battered body that had withstood so much pain. Had suffered so much.

He was a warrior. In ancient times he would have been the champion, the gladiator, the knight who defended the realm.

But as he came again to her and ranged his body over hers, his eyes said he was a man who was weary of battles, who only wanted to love her. Wanted her to love him.

And she did. “This is it,” she vowed to him. “There will never be another for me.”

Once more he was vulnerable to her, his eyes asking what his voice would not.
Are you sure?

“Come to me, my love. Make me yours. Belong to me.”

An expression swept over him that she’d never seen, one of aching triumph, of grateful grace, of savage power tempered by a will that would forever protect her, honor her, guard her and keep her and her children safe.
I want your babies
, she thought but didn’t say aloud. He wasn’t ready yet.

But that day would come. “I trust you,” she said as he poised to enter her. “I love you, Tank.”

A fierce light came into his eyes. “You’re mine now—” And he thrust, making them one.

“Yesss—” She arched into him, reveling, welcoming him, all of him.

“Mine forever. I’ll give my life for you, Chrissy,” he promised.

“Give me your heart and your days and nights instead,” she said as he began to move within her.

“You’re everything I never dreamed I could deserve,” he said as he watched her. Made love to her with power and passion and a sweetness that tore at her heart.

She raised herself up to kiss his lips, to caress the scars that were evidence of his courage. “Your heart is safe with me,” she said.

“I believe that now.” Then he laid her down and gave her all of himself until the room flared golden and their hearts soared together, drifting into dreams.

One at last.

Epilogue

Several months later

J
ake stood with Chrissy inside the home Tank had built for her. “You ready, little sister? You sure about this?”

“He’s a good man, Jake. You told me you like him.”

“I do, but I’m not sure anyone is good enough for you.”

She leaned her head against his shoulder as they waited to be told everyone was settled for the ceremony. “I’m so glad you and Big are here with me—even better, that you’re part of Sweetgrass now.”

He patted the hand tucked into his elbow. “It’s a funny place, isn’t it? I feel sort of like a frontier doc—I never know when I get up in the morning whether I’m going to be dealing with a cowboy whose horse stepped on his foot or a baby with colic.”