TEXAS ROADS (A Miller's Creek Novel Book 1) (11 page)

Later, as they pulled onto the main road, Dani spoke the question that burned in her brain. “How are you so convinced God loves us?”

He smiled and shrugged. “I just am.”

Could she trust her thoughts to him? Instinctively, she sensed she could. “I want to believe. But every time I think I’m close, something else happens to make me doubt.”

“Are you angry at God?”

An edge of hostility returned. “Don’t I have the right to be?” Surely someone as powerful as God could have prevented what she’d endured.

“I can’t answer that, but bad things aren’t God’s fault. It’s just a part of the world we live in.”

The same answer Mama Beth had given. All the way to the house, his words resounded in her thoughts. As they drove into the driveway, he motioned across the road.  “Those trees on the far side of the pasture are the back of the creek. The pasture belongs to the ranch. Feel free to walk there anytime.”

“Thank you.” She wet her lips. “And thanks for listening. I have a lot I’m trying to figure out right now.”

“I know you do.” His tender touch on her shoulder spread its warmth through her battered emotions, his voice gentle.

She looked at him. Hopefully the pain in her heart wasn’t mirrored in her eyes.

An emotion she couldn’t identify flared in his expression, and he wrenched his hand and head away. A moment later, he turned back to her, his face controlled by cool indifference. “We’d better get inside before Mama Beth starts to worry.”

Though his indifference stung, she understood. It was for the best.

The aroma of fried chicken met them at the door, inviting them to the kitchen. Mama Beth moved slower than normal, her face a pasty shade of gray. Dani quickly joined her in preparation for the meal, but her tangled thoughts allowed no peace, and tears parked just below the surface. It took every ounce of strength she could muster to maintain her composure, and she struggled to squelch the emotions that lay less than a pinprick away.

At supper she chose to listen to the conversation between Steve and Mama Beth instead of joining in. She watched the two, mesmerized as Steve hovered over her aunt like a guardian angel, bringing her whatever she needed. The tenderness with which he treated her aunt produced a stab of envy. How nice it must be to feel so loved and protected. Dani fiddled with the food on her plate. Tonight even Mama Beth’s delicious home-cooked food seemed tasteless.

“Dani.” Her aunt’s half-shout captured her attention.

She started. “Hmm? I’m sorry. Were you talking to me?”

“I asked if you were okay. You’ve hardly touched your supper.” Mama Beth’s eyebrows pulled up in the center.

“I guess I’m just tired.” She laid her fork down on her plate, the fatigue from lack of sleep attacking in full force. “If it’s okay, I think I’ll go to bed early.”

Her aunt frowned. “Of course. Is something bothering you?”

The burn in Dani’s eyes moved to her throat. “I just have a lot on my mind.” She kissed her aunt then stood, careful not to look at Steve. One glimpse of the compassion in his eyes and she’d be lost. She felt his gaze follow her up the stairs.

Several minutes later, she lay in bed listening to the crickets sing and tried to make sense of Steve’s words. Whatever it took, she had to move past her selfishness and this overwhelming attraction she felt toward Steve, different from any other feelings she’d known. Friendship, respect, and admiration all rolled into one.

God, help me. I believe You exist. You’re in control of everything, even when I don’t understand. I want to believe You love me, but I don’t know how. Show me. And please make Mama Beth well.

A few minutes later, Dani sank in the soft arms of slumber and dreamed of an ancient oak tree, a gurgling creek, and kind eyes the color of cinnamon.

* * *

Steve reclined against the patio chair and fixed his attention on the starry sky that stretched before him like silver glitter sprinkled on black velvet. His thoughts turned to Dani, the pain he’d seen on her face daggering his heart.

He’d never seen a person with their faith so utterly shattered. She needed to know God, to know His peace, to believe He loved her.

Lord, help her to believe. She needs You.

She needs you, too.

He sighed, his heart heavy.
Lord, I don’t know how to help.

Again the voice sounded, the promise he’d heard many times before.
I am with you
.

Understanding dawned, and he savored the comfort of God’s presence. The Lord had created the majesty of the vast expanse before him and He was still involved in His creation. Only an Almighty God could take the threads of their lives and weave them together into such a stunning tapestry. Like the backside of Mama Beth’s needlework, the handiwork of heaven sometimes appeared tangled and messy from earth’s perspective.

He laid his head back as a laugh of pure joy gurgled from his throat. Now he knew what to tell Dani. God never made mistakes. He made masterpieces. It just took time for a masterpiece to unfold.

Chapter Twelve

A
low murmur of voices hummed inside the Baylor Hospital surgical waiting room where Steve hunkered down in one of the cushioned chairs and observed others awaiting news of their loved ones. How could one room harbor such concern and grief without the walls collapsing beneath the pressure? He scanned the area for any sign of Dani. She’d taken off for another round of nervous pacing half an hour ago and still hadn’t returned. Her actions worried him. Refusing breakfast and lunch, her antsy behavior all afternoon revealed how much the ordeal of the past week had affected her.

He made a move to stand and search for her when she thrust a cold can of pop under his nose. “I hope this is okay. I wasn’t sure what you liked, so I just guessed.”

Steve smiled his gratitude and accepted the can, then popped the lid and poured the cool liquid down his parched throat. He’d promised Mama Beth he’d take care of Dani during the surgery, and here she was taking care of him instead. Something he could easily get used to.

Dani plopped down next to him and slouched in her seat, eyes closed. The vulnerability on her face touched him. He jerked his head away. How in the dickens was he supposed to take care of her and stay disinterested at the same time?

A man’s voice called out from the waiting room door. “Dani Davis?”

She jumped from her seat and scurried to the door. With long strides, he arrived right behind her and captured a deep breath to steady his nerves.

Dr. Gray made eye contact while he spoke. “Your aunt made it through surgery just fine. She’ll be in recovery for a few hours—”

“And the tumor?” Lines of worry creased the area around her eyes.

The surgeon hesitated, his expression grim. “Larger than expected, but I think we got it. Until we receive the pathology reports, we won’t know if it’s malignant.”

Dani’s eyes glazed, and by the look on her ashen face, appeared ready to topple. Steve braced her up with one arm around her shoulders and addressed Dr. Gray. “Do we have time to grab a bite to eat?”

“Certainly.” The surgeon nodded with a reassuring smile, his voice friendly.

Her anxious gaze followed the doctor as he hustled away, and she started after him. Steve grabbed her arm and pulled her back. “Sorry Goldilocks, you’re coming with me. Dallas is your neck of the woods, and I’m hungry as a bear. Where’s a good place to eat?”

She opened her mouth, most likely to protest, but he held a finger to her lips. “Shh. No arguments. You haven’t eaten all day.” The tactic worked better than expected. She remained quiet all the way to the parking garage.

Steve rubbed his finger against his jeans as they made their way to his F-350 pickup, hoping to erase the feel of her lips, but by the time he’d guided Dani to the passenger side and helped her into the seat, all he’d succeeded in doing was removing a layer of skin. He tried to squelch the anxiety rising inside him. Now for the hard part. Driving in Dallas. Would he never rid himself of the haunting memories? The crunch of metal, the endless spinning and turning, Lauren’s screams followed by a deathly silence, the image of her crumpled body. He caught his breath and rubbed the area between his eyes in an attempt to erase the scene from his mind.

“Are you just going to sit there? I thought you wanted food.” Dani’s voice brought him back to the present.

Steve glanced at her as he started the car. She needed protein and rest, and soon. “Where’s a good steakhouse?”

“The West End. It’s nearby.”

He drove to the parking garage exit and paid the fee, then turned to her as he raised the window. “I’m assuming this place we’re going to is west of here?”

Her eyes held questions. “Southwest. Take a right.”

Forcing his way into bumper-to-bumper traffic, he proceeded to the light. Dani had zoned out, staring into space as if she were focused on another dimension. “Where to now?”

She heaved herself to an upright position and emitted a sigh. “You need to be in the left turn lane.”

“Well, it’s too late for that.” He viewed the sign that said “Right Lane Must Turn Right” and let out a snort. A little more notice would’ve been nice.

After inching along and several missed turns, Steve gripped the steering wheel and grit his teeth. “Arrrggh! I hate this!” His voice echoed in the cab, and he shot Dani an apologetic look. “Sorry. I’m not used to this traffic.” Hated it would be more accurate.

“Have you never driven in Dallas?” Her tone held disbelief.

“Once a long time ago, and I promised I’d never do it again.”

“Bad experience, huh?”

“You might say that.” He flipped the blinker to the up position and checked the rear-view mirror for a break in the traffic.

“Car accident?”

Steve glanced at her, her blue eyes revealing a knowing compassion. “Yeah, a friend of mine was killed. I’ve avoided Dallas ever since.”

“Why didn’t you say something?” She pointed to a parking lot on the right. “Pull in here and I’ll take over.”

He let out a relieved breath. She didn’t have to ask twice.

A few minutes later, Dani zipped into a parking space at the West End district and handed him the keys. She’d handled the large truck like she’d been driving it her entire life. Pretty heady stuff for a country boy like him. They wended their way along the oak-lined sidewalk toward the restaurant, a rowdy combination of country music and laughter ringing in the air. The whining cry of a siren and the rattle of the DART train sounded in the background. Steve watched in amusement as pigeons bobble-headed away from his boots, but refused to take flight, eager to snare a stray crumb. A mixture of delicious smells drifted past his nose, and his stomach gurgled in anticipation.

After a brief walk, she led them into an upscale steakhouse and secured a comfortable booth. Symbols of Texas decked the walls of the restaurant she’d chosen—windmills, cattle horns, even an old barn front—all things dear to his Texas heart. At first Dani seemed reluctant to talk, but he finally managed to draw her into conversation. By the time their food arrived they’d almost managed to solve the world’s problems, at least theoretically.

He sawed off a piece of the juicy steak, popped it in his mouth, and savored the smoky flavor as it rolled down his tongue. One glance across the table caused a grin to spread across his face. Dani crammed in three or four pieces of food at a time, chewed, and followed each bite with a swig of iced tea. For an itty-bitty city gal, she could pack the food away. And fast.

She met his stare. “What?”

“Slow down. We have a few hours, remember?”

Giggling, she laid down her silverware. “Sorry. It’s a teacher thing.”

“And walking fast. And talking fast.”

She held up both hands. “Busted.” Her blue eyes flashed merriment in a way he found utterly charming.

“Do you not get very long for lunch?” He relished another bite of the tender T-bone.

“Well, supposedly I have a full thirty minutes, but by the time I take my class to the restroom and cafeteria, get the room set for the next subject, and pick up the kids from lunch, it’s more like ten minutes.” She rattled out the words, using her hands for emphasis.

Her lunch routine made his hour with Mama Beth or the old geezers sound like a luxury. “Must be rough.”

Dani nodded and resumed eating, this time at a slower pace. “Teaching’s difficult work, but it also has its rewards.”

“Such as?”

Her face lit and revealed the passion she felt for her work. In between bites of food and gestures with her fork, she launched into humorous stories about her kids. Intent on every word, Steve watched her, completely captivated.

“...anyway, having a child grasp a concept they’ve struggled with, or present you a flower and say they love you is better than all the gold in the world.”

He dropped his gaze, swift shame washing over him. She possessed a beauty beyond mere outward appearance. How could he have been so wrong about her? He raised his head at her sudden silence and noticed tears pooling in her eyes. “You okay?”

“Sorry.” Dani waved a hand in front of her face, her tone strangled. “I’m not usually so emotional, just when I’m really, really tired.”

“It’s okay. No apology needed.” Maybe he should change the subject. “Did you have any trouble getting off work for Mama Beth’s surgery?”

She didn’t answer right away, but chewed her food deliberately and swallowed. Almost as if she wanted to avoid answering. When at last she raised her head to meet his gaze, her eyes glittered with a mixture of conviction and dogged determination. “I’ve asked for a leave of absence.”

“Why?” He frowned and swiped the cloth napkin across his mouth, his tone more demanding than intended.

“To take care of Mama Beth.”

“You don’t have to do that. There are plenty of people in Miller’s Creek willing to help.”

“I know I don’t have to, but I’m going to. People in Miller’s Creek will just have to understand.”

A short laugh rushed from his mouth. “You don’t know them like I do.”

“I’ll be the one to take care of her. I’m her family.” Her chin hoisted.

Steve checked his anger, too tired to argue that he was family, too, at least in a roundabout way. “Speaking of family, I’m surprised your mom hasn’t been to the hospital yet.”

A cloud of emotions swirled across her face.

He paused, steak-laden fork suspended in mid-air. “Sorry if I stepped into forbidden territory.”

“Nothing my mother does surprises me anymore.” She stabbed furiously at her salad, her voice dripping with cynicism.

His eyebrows hitched. He’d struck a sore spot.

* * *

Later that evening, Steve awakened in Mama Beth’s hospital room, the television still set to the same sports channel. Scratching his cheek, he leaned forward and blinked. How long had he been asleep? He rose to his feet, feeling old and creaky, and stumbled to the bed where Dani maintained her silent vigil with drooping eyes. Mama Beth slept, her head wrapped in bandages, gray curls peeking from underneath. The machine on the opposite side of the bed emitted a soft beep, and he monitored the digital read-out. “How is she?”

“About the same.” She raised fingers to stifle a yawn, her tone groggy. “Every once in a while she stirs, but then slips back under.” Her forehead creased.

“She’s going to be okay. For right now, sleep’s the best thing for her.” He placed a hand on her shoulder, and Dani leaned into his touch. She had to be exhausted.

“I’m so anxious to hear her voice I could scream.” Weary concern bathed her face.

Hearing Mama Beth speak would be a relief to both of them. He checked the clock. Midnight? No wonder Dani teetered on the verge of collapse. “Sorry I slept so long.”

“Don’t be. I’m glad you were able to rest.”

“Speaking of rest, you’ve been running non-stop since they let us in here.”

She blasted him with a Mama Beth look. “It’s not going to work, so don’t even go there. I am
not
budging from this spot.”

He let out a soft chuckle. The woman had a stubborn streak as big as Texas. “If you intend to take care of her while she recovers, you’d best take care of yourself.”

“But I need to be here when she opens her eyes.”

“No, you need to rest. I’ll wake you up when she comes to.”

Her baby blues held wariness, obviously still not convinced. “Why don’t you rest some more first?”

He knuckled her scalp. “You always so hard-headed?”

“You caught me on a good day.” She sent him a tired teasing grin. “I’m usually much worse.”

“Heaven help us.” And he meant it more than she could know.
Careful, Steve. She’s already told you how she feels.

Dani’s shoulders sagged, a sign for him to step in. He clutched her arms, pulled her to her feet, and guided her to the recliner. “Get some rest.”

“Okay, okay.” She sank with another yawn, relaxed into the chair, then bolted upright, holding up a finger. “But first I’m going to check the nurses’ station for a blanket.”

He gently shoved her back into the chair. “Oh no, you don’t. If you get up I’ll never get you back down. I’ll get the blanket.”

When he returned a couple of minutes later, she was already asleep.

His heart fluttered at the sight of her. Long dark lashes rested against gray circles of fatigue, her lips slightly parted in slumber. When had he stopped seeing her as the enemy? He draped her with the soft blanket, careful not to disturb her. Would time mend the broken heart she so carefully shielded, or would the wall built by betrayal continue to hold strong? With an angry mutter, Steve jerked himself to a standing position and raked a hand through his hair. He had to crush these feelings that kept roaring up in him before they destroyed him.

* * *

Dani startled awake when the nurse entered the hospital room, then straightened and peered at her aunt. Still asleep. Her eyes traveled to the handsome man at Mama Beth’s bedside. Steve dozed, his long legs stretched out straight, his arms folded across his broad chest. A smirk worked onto her face. All he needed was a cowboy hat perched over his lowered head to complete the scene.