Texas Brides Collection (15 page)

Most white women shunned him, though there were those who followed him with longing in their eyes. Those women he avoided. Indian women were more lenient, but he was too white to fit into their way of life. The education his mother had insisted upon set him apart from most.

Being around April just that short period of time had set him yearning for things he wasn’t even aware that he wanted. But she was far too different from him, also. She had a faith in a God he had long ago abandoned. Though his parents had served Him almost their whole lives, He had chosen not to protect them when they needed Him most.

The sun was setting and it would soon be dark. An eagle screamed high above the trees, circling ever downward toward its nest and its young.

Would he one day have a nest of his own, with children and a loving wife? Was it possible any woman would want him? And even if it were, could he do that to a woman that he truly loved? Could he subject her to the same kind of prejudice his mother had faced all her life? The same kind of prejudice
he
had faced all
his
life.

Gritting his teeth, he forced himself to return to the cave. Though the cold air had cooled his ardor and his thinking, the tense atmosphere remained.

April watched him warily, sitting cross-legged on the blanket she used as a bed. Her blue dress had long ago taken on a dusty hue, leaving her looking a bit bedraggled. He lifted an eyebrow slightly.

“An Indian woman would never sit like that. It’s not considered proper,” he told her, hoping to lighten the mood. It had the opposite effect. Her forehead twisted into a frown.

“I’m not an Indian woman,” she returned coldly, her frosty eyes raking over his beaded buckskins.

He sighed heavily. “I’m sorry. I was only teasing.” He crossed to her side and knelt on one knee before her, careful to keep some distance between them. “I’m sorry, too, for kissing you.” He reached out to touch her, the fringe on his buckskin shirt swishing with the movement. He saw the trepidation return to her eyes, and he dropped his arm, his hand curling into a fist. His lips tilted into a half smile, and a twinkle entered his normally serious brown eyes. “Well, not really. I guess I’m sorry I kissed you without your permission.”

April stared at him, confounded by his honesty. “Do you always go around kissing women you’ve known for such a short time?”

His look became at once sober. “Only when their eyes ask me to.”

April’s mouth dropped open. Snapping it shut, she turned her eyes away, unable to deny what he said. “You think too highly of yourself.”

“Maybe,” he agreed, unruffled by her sarcasm. “Anyway, I wanted to tell you that you needn’t be alarmed. It won’t happen again. I give you my word.”

She gave a small sigh of relief, which quickly fled at the temerity of his next words.

“That is, unless you want me to.”

She got to her feet, glaring down at him. Dark tendrils of hair that had escaped her bun hung around her face. She brushed them back with an impatient hand. “Don’t hold your breath!”

He rose to stand before her, towering over her by at least a foot. She prudently moved backward a step.

The emotion in his eyes caused her heart to start fluttering irregularly.

“We’ll see. In the meantime, you might as well get some sleep. We’ll be leaving in the morning.”

April was surprised at the reluctance she felt at this disclosure. When her eyes met his, she found the same feelings reflected there. Nodding, she began to prepare her bed for the night.

They ate their supper in silence. After Wolf had again cleaned the plates, they settled down on their respective bedrolls. The crackling of the fire was a soothing sound as the darkness and cold descended outside the cave.

April leaned up on one elbow and looked across to the other side of the cave where Wolf had his back to her. “Wolf?”

“What?”

His testiness did little to encourage her, but she had to know.

“Did you turn from God when your parents were killed?”

By the dim light from the fire she could see his back and shoulders tense. “That was part of it,” he finally replied.

“And the other part?”

He rolled over to face her, his dark eyes glittering through the dimness. His voice was filled with anger. “I watched people claiming to be representatives of God murdering, stealing, and lying to a race of people they thought inferior. Many thought they were doing it in the name of God.
Manifest destiny
they called it,” he spat. “I saw little children lying in the dirt, shot through the heart, their mothers lying beside them, dead. Their last act one of motherly devotion in trying to save their children.”

The images his words elicited filled her with horror. She didn’t know what to say.

“Grant you, the Indians have dealt with the whites just as badly, but at least they don’t do it in the name of God.”

“Not all whites are that way,” she rebuked softly. “Just as not all Indians are.”

His eyes met hers. She found it hard to read the message in them.

“So I’m beginning to find out.”

She lay back down, turning her back to him. She wanted to say more, but she didn’t know how. It was hard to share a faith that she didn’t understand herself. Hard to explain
why
she believed the way she did.

“April?”

She looked over her shoulder. “Yes?”

“What has God ever done for you?”

She turned fully toward him, wondering how she could put into words such a feeling.

“It’s hard to explain, Wolf,” she told him softly, “but I’ll try. When my parents died, I had to take care of myself and my brother. There were times when things were bad, but no matter how bad they got, I knew that God was there watching over me. Crying with me. Laughing with me. It gave me strength to go on. Perhaps that’s the best way to explain it. He gives me strength and courage when I need it most. Even if I die, I know I’ll always be with Him. It’s like the Apostle Paul once said. ‘To live is Christ, and to die is gain.’ If I live for Him, I have everything. If I die for Him, I still have everything.”

He seemed to be pondering what she said. Again, there was that longing in his eyes.

“I wish I could believe that,” he whispered. Turning back to the wall, he effectively ended the conversation.

The next day dawned bright and clear. April joined Wolf outside, her eyes darting away from him in embarrassment. After yesterday, she found it hard to look at him without remembering that kiss and his words about her wanting it reflected in her eyes.

Though cold, the air was fresh and invigorating. April crossed her arms and rubbed them vigorously.

“It’s a beautiful day,” she greeted cheerfully.

There was a frown on his face. His head was tilted to the wind, and his eyes scanned the blue expanse overhead.

“Something’s not right,” he answered absently.

Suddenly frightened, she glanced all around her but could see nothing. The hair prickled on the back of her neck at his mantic voice. “What do you mean?”

He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “There’s something in the air. It might not be wise to leave just yet.”

Now April was really frightened. To stay here with him in such close proximity was unthinkable. “The ice has melted, and the sky is clear. I think it would be best if we left now.”

Wolf ’s eyes met hers then. He could read the uncertainty and the fear. Was she so afraid of him that she would risk her life, and
his
, to be away from him? Or was it something else? Perhaps she knew more than he believed about her brother returning for her. Maybe he was on his way even now.

Still, she had a point. The way his feelings were escalating, it wouldn’t be prudent to remain there much longer.

A crackling in the underbrush brought him whirling around, his Colt whipped from his holster. A small rabbit came from the bushes, startled at their presence. It froze in fear, then turned and skidded away.

Wolf turned back to April and found her staring fixedly at his gun. She lifted terrified eyes to his, and he quickly holstered his weapon. He could read the questions racing across her uneasy features.

“Get your things together,” he ordered gruffly. “I’ll get my horse.”

She watched him walk away and saw what she hadn’t noticed previously. A small cleft in the side of the canyon formed a natural indented shelter. Wolf had lashed pine branches together to form a covering against the wind. He pulled them away, and a beautiful pinto was revealed to her eyes. It nickered softly when it saw Wolf.

“Hey, boy,” he responded, patting its sides. “Ready to go?”

He carefully moved the horse backward out of the little shelter, turning him until he faced back up the canyon.

April stared at the two of them, wide-eyed. “Has he been here the whole time?”

“Yep.”

“But I never saw him or heard him when I came outside.”

Wolf grinned at her in amusement. “Not very observant, are you?”

April ignored his comment. She came closer, stroking the animal’s soft nose. “He’s a beauty. What’s his name?”

“Sky Dancer. I call him Dancer for short.”

Wolf entered the cave, returning moments later with their packs. He glanced at April’s shoes.

“I hope you can make it up the canyon in those.”

Surprised, April studied the trail they were about to take. “Aren’t we riding the horse?”

He shook his head, strapping the packs to the horse. “Not until we get out of this canyon. There’s still ice clinging to many of the surfaces. It’s too dangerous.” He took the horse’s reins and began moving forward carefully. “Watch your step.”

April took one last look at the cave. It had been a refuge of sorts for the past two days, and she was suddenly reluctant to leave its comfort.

When they reached the top of the canyon, the wind hit them with its full force, taking April’s breath away. Her blue wool coat did little to dispel the cold. She shivered.

“It seems colder up here,” she yelled.

Without turning, Wolf yelled back at her. “It is. There’s nothing to block the wind.”

When he attained a safe distance, he turned and reached to help April into the saddle. Climbing up behind her, he settled himself comfortably, stretching around her to hold onto the reins.

April tensed at his nearness, then slowly relaxed against his warmth. “Are you sure Dancer can carry both of us?”

“He can, but not as quickly as he can carry one. We’re going to have to camp out tonight.”

She jerked her look back over her shoulder. “Outside? But we’ll freeze!”

His intense eyes met hers. “It was either that or stay until the weather warmed.”

Unable to hold his knowing gaze, she turned forward.

“Although leaving might just have been the second stupidest mistake I’ve ever made,” he continued, his voice dangerously low.

“Why?”

The question barely left her mouth before the sun was blocked by moving clouds. She looked up and saw the sky growing leaden gray.

“It’s going to snow!” she said in surprise.

His look flickered around the sky, his face growing grimmer by the minute. “I’m afraid so.”

As they plodded along, April sucked in a deep breath of the cold air. The distance between them and the cave increased, and she became more relieved with each passing mile.

“A little snow won’t hurt us,” she encouraged.

His silence made her curious. She looked over her shoulder and caught the quick frown on his face. Her heart began to hammer with dread. “What is it?”

“This isn’t going to be a little snow.” He shook his head in disgust. “I knew this was a bad idea.”

Wolf stopped the horse in a stand of trees. Getting down, he pulled April off after him.

“We need to make a shelter.”

April looked around at the forest of pines. “Can’t we just go back to the cave?”

He shook his head, retrieving a small ax from his saddlebag. “We’ve come too far. It would take too long.”

He started hacking away at small pine trees. “Help me get these over there to that spot beneath those three large pines.”

They worked together as quickly as possible, but even so, by the time they had cut enough saplings, the snow had started to fall.

Using some rope from his saddle, Wolf made a crisscross section using the three large trees as poles. He then wove the saplings between the rope until there was a small lean-to, while April gathered their blankets and some of the supplies.

Finding some dry kindling, Wolf started a fire in the middle of the area and motioned April to have a seat. She hurried inside, watching as Wolf began putting more saplings against the front, finally closing them inside.

“What about Dancer?”

He shook his head. “He’ll be fine.” He scooted over until he was close to the fire. “We should be all right here ’til the storm passes, though I’m not certain how long that will be.”

Although it was far from warm in their little shelter with the wind blowing through the cracks and branches, it was much better than being outside. April was thankful that she was with Yellow Wolf. His survival instincts would keep them alive, she knew without a doubt. Oddly enough, despite his earlier amorous attitude, she felt remarkably safe with him.