Tex (2 page)

I was halfway to the kitchen door when Mace said, “They ain't there.”

“Yeah?” I said “Where are they?” I thought maybe he had turned them loose in the next pasture, even though since Cole Collins was leasing it for his cows we weren't supposed to keep the horses in it. We'd been running low on hay lately, though, with most of the grass in the half-acre paddock gone.

“I sold them,” Mason said. I just kept looking at him, waiting for the punch line. I knew he didn't sell Negrito.

“No, you didn't,” I said finally. He was lying or kidding or crazy. I was getting a sick cold feeling.

“Yeah, I did. Got a good price for them, too.”

I didn't believe him. He couldn't sell Negrito any more than he could sell me. But just to make sure I ran out the back door, jumped down the back steps, and raced out to the barn. It was just a little lean-to, really. It'd been part of a barn once, but the rest of it had kind of fallen apart.

If I was ever late feeding the horses, they'd start trotting up and down the fence, nickering. Nothing made Negrito madder than being fed late. He'd pace the fence, his head getting lower and lower till his nose would be practically dragging on the ground, then when he saw me he'd paw and stamp and say, “Where the hell have you been?” He had a real thing about his food.

Neither horse was in sight. I whistled. Nobody answered. I ran up the little hill that led to the Collins' big pasture. Even across thirty acres I can tell horses from cows. They weren't in the pasture.

I felt really strange, like I'd swallowed a block of ice and it was just sitting in my gut, sending cold waves all over me. My head felt spacy, almost like it was going to go floating off my body. I walked back to the house. I was breathing funny. I couldn't get enough air.

“Mace,” I said. He still sat behind the table, like he hadn't moved a muscle since I left, and he didn't even blink now. I gave him one last chance. “Where's them horses?”

“I told you I sold them. I don't know why you'd think I'd start lying to you this late in life. Don't you ever close doors? No wonder I can't pay the gas bill.”

“Who'd you sell them to?”

“I won't tell you. Nobody you'd know, anyway. They've got good homes. I made sure of that. They're gone. Shut up about it.”

I was walking around and around in circles. I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe. I started shaking and sweating like a horse being reined in and spurred at the same time.

“Mason!” My voice shot up a note or two. “You better get those horses back! I mean it, man!”

Mason just sat there and didn't move. It was like seeing a stranger wearing a mask of my brother.

“I ain't gettin' them back.” He spoke softly, his teeth clenched. “They're gone and they're gonna stay gone. We couldn't feed them through the winter. I wasn't going to watch them starve to death. So just shut up.”

“You better get those horses back!” I shouted. I picked up one of the jelly jars we used for glasses and slammed it against the wall. Mason jumped a little when it shattered, like he hadn't expected it to break. I couldn't stop moving. I grabbed the mustard jar and hurled it at the window. It crashed through the glass and knocked the screen loose.

“Texas,” Mason said, “you better quit it.”

“I WANT THOSE HORSES BACK!” I grabbed another jar and smashed it into the sink, breaking a few dirty dishes.

Mason shoved the table out of the way and came charging across the room. My mind went into a white-hot blank and I went crazy.

All I wanted to do was kill him. And even though I was landing a few punches, I didn't seem to be hurting him, which made me madder. We rolled on the floor, through broken glass. I was out to get him any way I could, biting, kicking, screaming, and cussing. He got me pinned by one shoulder and slammed his fist into my face. It was like getting kicked in the head by a horse. I couldn't see for the yellow sparklers in my head, and he let me have another one. For the first time I realized he was as mad as I was and crazy enough to kill me. I blocked the next punch with my arm and turned my head quick as a snake and bit into his other arm. I set my jaw and wouldn't turn loose.

Mason was swearing and slamming me across the face, and when that didn't knock me loose, he rolled off and brought his fist down hard in the middle of my stomach. I gasped for air, doubling up. I couldn't move. I lay there, waiting for him to finish me off while I couldn't breathe.

Mason just sat there, holding his arm, panting. When I was sure he had quit the fight, I turned over and lay face down, my head resting on my arm. I was hurting real bad. All my energy was gone. I think if the house had been on fire I wouldn't have had the strength to leave. I was crying and too tired to keep from it

“Tex?”

I didn't move. He took hold of my shoulder, easy, to let me know he wasn't fighting any more, but I jerked loose.

“Look, I didn't mean to … dammit, Tex, I just want to see if you're hurt.”

“I ain't hurt.” My voice sounded weird, I think it was because I couldn't breathe through my nose. I stayed still, waiting to get my strength back, trying to make some sense out of what happened. I couldn't figure out what had happened.

“Lookit, Tex, it wasn't you—I mean, I didn't aim to take it out on you like that.”

I didn't know what he was talking about and I didn't care.

“I'm going to get my horse back,” I said. Pop wouldn't let you sell those horses if he were here.”

“Pop isn't here!” Mason shouted. “Can't you get it through your thick skull that all this happened because Pop isn't here!”

I flinched a little. For a second I thought I felt his hand on the back of my hair, then he muttered, “Well, hell.”

Pretty soon I heard the back door slam and the pickup engine start. He'd go drive up and down the highway for a while. He always did that when he was mad.

I couldn't seem to stop crying. I cried because I was hurting and because I wanted to kill Mace, and he was my only brother and I didn't really want to kill him. I cried because Mason had never beaten me up before. Mostly we got along pretty good. Finally I thought about Negrito being gone and Pop being gone and I bawled like a baby. I never cried much before and I wasn't used to it and I didn't know how to stop.

I sat up after a while, wiping the tears off my face with my sleeve. Blood came off with them. A back tooth had come loose so I went ahead and pulled it. It was one I was going to lose anyway.

The kitchen looked like a wreck, with the broken window and shattered glass all over, the table turned over and blood splattered around. It was a real mess. I didn't like looking at it. I got to my feet. I hurt all over. When I was helping Lem Peters break his Appaloosa colt, I got thrown probably ten times a day, and I never felt this bad. I was shaking. I stumbled to the john to look in the mirror.

I looked like Donald Duck. My nose and mouth were swollen, my lower lip cut. I didn't look much better after I washed the blood off. One side of my face was darkening to purple. My left eye was swollen shut. If it'd been Halloween I could of got by without a mask.

I wanted to change to a clean shirt, but I didn't have one, so I changed to one that at least didn't have any blood on it. It smelled like horse, and almost set me off crying again.

I walked around the front room for a few minutes, slowly. It hurt to be moving, but I couldn't sit still. I kept trying to think what to do next. Finally I put on my jacket and started down the road.

It was getting dark. Once in a while a car would whiz by, but nobody stopped. Mostly it was quiet, except for a whippoorwill that I finally left behind. I walked as fast as I could, but once in a while I'd get a pain wave that'd slow me up for a second.

I heard the cycle coming up behind me, but I was thinking about other things. When it stopped and a voice said “Tex?” I couldn't even remember who I knew that had a cycle.

“Where you goin'?”

I stopped and stared at Johnny and his sister Jamie like I'd never seen them before.

“Good Lord!” Jamie swung off the back end of the cycle to take a better look at me. “What happened to you?”

It seemed like so much time had passed since I'd seen Johnny last, I was surprised he didn't look older.

“Tex?” Johnny hopped off the cycle to push it alongside me. “What's wrong?”

I kept on walking. “Mason sold the horses and beat me up, and I'm gonna find them.”

“Tonight? You know where they are?”

“Nope. But I'm gonna keep looking till I find them.”

A car drove by and slowed down curiouslike, then drove on. Johnny and Jamie practically had to trot to keep up with me. I'm pretty long-legged.

“Tex, you're being crazy. You can't just walk around the countryside till you find the horses,” Jamie said.

“Wanna bet?”

“Your front door is open and you left the lights on,” Johnny said, like that was real important. I could tell they thought I'd flipped out.

“You're going home later though?” Johnny asked. “Tonight?”

“Not till I find the horses.”

“Look, Tex, you can't sleep out here on the road!”

“I ain't sleepy.”

“Listen,” Johnny said, “I'll take Jamie home and come back for you, okay?”

I turned to face them. “Can't you two understand English? I said I'm lookin' for Negrito! Now get lost!”

They were shocked. I'm not a bad-tempered person mostly. In fact mostly I'm real easy-going. Standing still was making me shiver again, so I started on.

“Tex…” Johnny gave it one more try.

“Johnny, wait…” Jamie said. They had stopped and I was too far down the road to hear what they were saying. Pretty soon the cycle started up again and headed back in the other direction.

I was glad they were gone. I liked them both, but I had things to think about.

Every time I passed a pasture with horses, I'd stop and look. I'd know Negrito in the dark. But I was pretty sure Mason wouldn't have sold them to anybody close by. He knew I'd just go get them back. Well, it didn't matter where they were. I'd still get them back.

Another car came by, slowed down, and stopped. I looked over, figuring to tell the driver I didn't need a ride, when I recognized the truck. I started running. The door slammed. I hadn't got far when Mason pulled me up by my jacket.

“Get in the truck,” he said. My heart was pounding so hard I could barely hear him.

“No,” I said.

I was shaking, not from being scared of him, just shaking for no particular reason. Mason must have thought he was causing it, because he let go of my jacket. But when I didn't move, he said, “I'll tie you up and throw you in that truck, Tex.”

I can't stand being tied up. Even when I was a little kid, playing cowboys and horses, I couldn't stand being tied up. It made me sick. Mason knew that. He wouldn't do that to me. But I'd never thought he'd pound on me, either.

I walked past him to the truck. I wasn't about to sit up front with him. I climbed into the truck bed and leaned back against the cab. I'd thought I was all cried out, but tears kept running down my face. The wind dried them up real quick, though.

When we pulled into the driveway, I hopped over the side before the truck stopped. Johnny's cycle was parked in the yard. I figured he and Jamie would be inside, waiting to see if I got home. I had one last thing to say to Mason.

“You can't keep chasing me down all the time. I'll just go looking for them again tomorrow.”

Mason came around to my side of the truck. Apparently he stopped at the Safeway while he'd been driving around, because he started hauling out sacks of groceries.

“You can leave for Timbuktu tomorrow for all I care,” he said. “But you're not gonna find the horses and you're not gonna give me any more trouble tonight. Now shut up and take some of these sacks.”

Now while Mason had always been a sarcastic person, he'd never been out and out mean before. It was hard to believe what I was hearing. I almost told him what he could do with the sacks. Then a bruise on my face gave a big throb, and I decided to keep quiet. I took a couple of sacks of food and went on in the house. I hadn't seen that much food all together at one place for a long time, and I wondered where Mason got the money. Then I remembered, and almost dropped the bags.

Johnny and Jamie were sitting on the floor in the front room, playing cards. Johnny jumped up to push open the door for me. His mouth fell open. I reckon I looked a lot worse in the light

“Did Mason…?” his voice trailed off as Mace came in behind me. I marched to the kitchen, slammed the bags down on the counter, and marched out, kicking an overturned chair out of my way. Thank God for the Collins. I wasn't looking forward to being alone in that house with Mason.

I sat down on the floor with them. “Deal me in.”

“I think you ought to call the cops,” Jamie said. Our house is so small Mason could probably hear her even in the kitchen. “Have Mason arrested for assault and battery.”

I just shook my head. I stared at the hand I was dealt, kept a three, and threw away a pair of jacks. I wasn't exactly in prime poker form.

I could hear Mason cleaning up the broken glass and stuff in the kitchen. I couldn't tell if I felt worse about him or losing Negrito, and I swear, if the Collins hadn't been there, I would have started in bawling again.

Footsteps sounded on the front porch, and Bob Collins, Johnny and Jamie's older brother, stuck his head in the door.

“Hey are Johnny … Tex, what happened to you?”

He came on in. I didn't look up. Jamie said, “Why don't you ask the child abuser? He's in there.” She jerked a thumb toward the kitchen.

Bob looked at me uneasily. “Mason didn't do that?”