Tethered (J + P series) (7 page)

“What happened with Edward and his girlfriend during break?  Weren't they going to have a talk?”  I asked Jen.

“Yep.  Officially broken up.  I kinda feel bad for breaking them up.  They were together for three years and were pretty close.  But, I'm here; she's not and oh well.”  Jen said flatly.

I hoped she and I did not like the same kind of guy.  She had the ability to steal the men away so easily.  Maybe I needed to see a counselor and figure out what was wrong with me.  Why was I pushing guys away as they would approach me?  Was I going after the wrong guys?  Maybe I could just try harder.

“So you guys are going pretty hard core now huh?”  I asked.  I was not excited about less time with Jen.  Hopefully I could talk to her if she became too absent from my life and she would listen and change her ways.  I couldn't lose Jen and Mags to guys.

“Yep” she smiled.

“Well, I need to hit the books.  See you for dinner.  Come knock on my door later.” and then I turned to Greg and gave him a hug. “See ya'.”

Chapter 12

I climbed the stairs and bumped into my RA.  “Perry, boy, you look a lot better than last night.  I thought you were gonna' die.  You were so pale.” 

“You're kidding me, I looked that bad?”  I asked.

“Worse than bad.  I was worried.  I'm glad Jen watched over you last night.  Why did you drink so much?” she scolded.

“I didn't.  I drank one wine cooler.  I didn't even finish it.” I said. 

“Was it drugged? Did someone slip you a Mickey?” she asked.

“No, I opened it myself and didn't leave it.”

“Well, be more careful next time. Sounds like your body and alcohol don't mix.” she advised.

“Okay.” and I continued up the stairs.  As I came to the last set of stairs I heard crying.  I walked slower and listened.  Lauren was crying and Mags was comforting her and calling Mason a jerk.  What the heck was going on?

I picked up my ascent and let myself in their room “What happened?!”

Mags was hugging Lauren and looking at her to see if Lauren wanted to share or not.

“We got in a fight.  He saw me talking to another brother last night while he was doing his clean up duties after the party.  How was I supposed to know that the guy I was talking to had a thing for me?  Apparently he had been running his mouth to Mason about how much he liked me.  Mason never told me any of that till our fight.  I thought the guy was just being nice and chatting with me till Mason finished his job.” she started crying again.

Mags handed her a tissue and continued the story, “Apparently Mason saw them chatting and began stewing over them together.  Later that night he asked Lauren what was going on between them.  Apparently the jealous jerk didn't believe Lauren and he hit her in the face in his jealous rage.”

“WHAT?!  He HIT you!!!!  Oh my god.  What the hell.  That's so messed up.  Are you OK?”  I asked Lauren.  I looked at her face and did not see any bruises or cuts.

“I'm OK physically, but not emotionally.  I feel weak and vulnerable.  Damn him for what he did to me.”  More tears.  Poor Lauren. 

Mags got up and whispered in my ear that she wanted for us girls to find him and tell him he is to never lay his hands on her again or talk to her.  I agreed he needed to not be able to walk away from this without realizing how wrong he was.  “When can we do it?”  I asked.

“They have a house meeting tonight.  Maybe we can catch him before it.” Mags said.

Just then, Jen rounded the stairs and saw the train wreck occurring in Lauren and Mags' room.  She jumped in asking to know what the heck was happening.  I dismissed myself and let them fill Jen in.  I needed to get some studying in before dinner and operation: Scream at Mason.

At 4:30PM Jen knocked on my door.  “Hey chica, are you going to wear THAT to dinner?”  I looked down at my clothes.  I had my sloppy Saturday clothes on – sweats and a college t-shirt on. 

“Um, yeah.  Is dinner a black tie event now?  I didn't get the memo.”  I inquired.

“No, but maybe you could spruce yourself up a little.” she suggested.

“Why?”  Uh oh, she was up to something. She smiled at me innocently and said “You'll see.”

What had she done?  She was fixing me up.  “Who?  Who is coming to dinner with us?  What did you do Jen?”  I was beginning to panic.  I had agreed to let her work on my love life.  But I wasn't enjoying myself right now.  OK, I needed to stay calm, spruce up as she advised and put on my best game face. 

“I am not saying.  You'll see when we get there.” she said.

“Give me 15 minutes and then we can head down.”  I pulled out my fitted tee that v-necked to show off my assets and a pair of jeans.  I put on some lip gloss and pinched my cheeks to put some color in them.

I knew Jen heard me talk a lot about Jared and Greg (in fact, I think that was why she headed to their table at lunch today), she also heard me talk about Ben from Chemistry.  Or maybe this it was someone else I had never met. 

“Alright, let's go before I lock myself in my room with a nervous breakdown.”  I told her minutes later.

She laughed.  Oh good, she was enjoying watching me lose it.  Awesome.  I felt so incredibly nervous that I could not fathom eating one bite.  That would mean I would either have to push food around my plate for the whole meal or do a lot of talking.

“You suck, I mean...I know I asked you to help me in the love department, but a blind date?!”  Jen just smiled and said “I love you Perry.  Relax.”

We entered the dining hall and I followed her moves.  We went through the line and then sat at an empty table.  Maybe she had been kidding.  Phew.  I could relax and enjoy my meal.  I took a few bites and noticed her waving at someone at the entrance to the hall.  There were two new faces I had never seen before.  Boys.  Tall and fairly attractive.  They were preppy and wore khakis, tennis shoes, and frat letters on their t-shirts.  Who were these guys?

I whispered “Hey Jen, is that who I am meeting?” she nodded and smiled and turned back to the boys.  “Who are they?”  I didn't know any frat guys besides Mason and he was on our bad list.  We would see him soon enough to chew him a new one.

“You don't remember?!  Maybe you will remember if I put Aerosmith on and the two of you get your groove on.”  She teased.

O....M....G!  Not the random guy from last night.  I was instantly not happy.  I had never intended on seeing Mr. Random again.  I felt beyond annoyed and embarrassed.  I had no words.

They got their food and joined us at the table.  Jen pulled out her personality card and Edward was quietly hanging by her side watching her cast her magic spell on my behalf.  Only, I didn't want it. I just wanted to leave the room.

“Hey, how's it goin'?” the tallest one asked.  Apparently that was the one I kissed and his name was Dan.

“OK, and you?” I was trying to be polite.  Unfortunately, this felt like when you are walking with your friend and they see a friend of theirs that you have never met.  They introduce you to each other but you could care less about each other.  That was what this felt like.  The other guy was there to support Dan and help fill in the conversation gaps.  I did not say much during the meal and I felt no spark between Dan and myself.  It was awkward, and not the good kind of awkward.  I was lost in thought thinking about how sucky the rest of the year would be being the only one of our gang without a boyfriend.  I guess Lauren was on the market now too, but that wouldn't last, the boys were already lining up for a chance with her.

Just then I was tapped on the shoulder and pulled from my self-wallowing pity.  It was Greg.  He was like an angel at that moment.  I felt instantly better seeing him.  Maybe he would sit with us and I could just lose myself in conversation with him.  But then I saw that five steps behind him was Jared, hands in pockets, eyes looking down.  Maybe it wouldn't be good for them to sit with us.  I would have to make a point to eat with Greg sometimes since I spent less time in their room and missed spending time with them, him actually.  Greg just gave me a nod and a wink and they exited the dining hall.

Next, Lauren came in with Mags and Tim.  They could see we were finishing our meal but were curious to meet the new faces at the table.  Dan and his buddy perked up when they saw Lauren.  Yep, she had that kind of effect on the guys.  But the best thing about it was she never let it get to her head and she was a really down to earth girl.  I laughed to myself because these guys were like salivating dogs and she was nursing her heart after what happened to Mason.  She was not in their league and even if they were – today was not the day for her to even consider anything with them.  After Mags, Tim, and Lauren got up to get their food, Dan and his friends stood, shook our hands and left.  When they were out of sight I punched Jen in her arm.  “Let's never do that again.  OK?”

She nodded.  She knew it failed and that she would have to try a new approach.  Edward teased me about what a loser Dan was.  “Don't worry about him not working out.  He's a dork.  You are too good for him.”

“Thanks Edward.” he smiled and then kissed Jen.

“So Mags said we will leave in 45 minutes to go to the frat.  Meet us in the lobby OK?” she informed me.

“Okay.”  I left the hall and ran into Ian.

“Hey Ian, how are you?  I haven't seen you in awhile?” I said.

“Yeah, I've been busy.   How have you been?” he asked.

“OK, Jen just had me on a blind date and it sucked.” he laughed at that.  “See ya' around”.

I went up to grab my coat and decided to just hang out in the lobby till it was time to go.  I needed time away from my room and books.  I wondered how it would go with Mason.  Surely he would be defensive.  But he needed to know he could never do that again.  Lauren and Mason were over.  He needed to know that too.  Him laying his hands on Lauren voided her responsibility to end the relationship herself.  She had the right to never speak with him ever again as far as I was concerned.  We would end this for her tonight.

Chapter 13

Four of us headed toward Mason's frat.  The pledges would be arriving shortly for the weekly house meeting.  We didn't have a plan.  I hoped we would not be like a bunch of starved chickens having at a few pellets of meal, Mason being our meal. 

“There he is.  You guys wait here.” Jen said.  Gladly, I thought.  I wanted to just support the girls but I never liked conflict.  She went over and asked him to come talk to us for a minute.  He must have been pretty ignorant to not realize what we were there to talk about.

'What's up?”  Mason said nervously. 

Tara, who was adamant about tagging along when she heard what transpired, stepped up to him.  She began jabbing him in the chest. “You are a real jerk.  You have no right to lay your hands on a girl, YOUR girl especially.  You two are done.  If we see you anywhere near her we are calling the cops.  No contact, no calls, no nothing.  Got it?”  I had no idea she had this side to her.  She never seemed that passionate about anything besides her boyfriend.  But this girl spoke every word with passion and seriousness. 

Mason was speechless.  He just turned and walked away slowly.  The rest of us picked up our mouths, which were hanging to the ground, and patted Tara on the back. 

“Phew, thanks for doing that.  Well said Tara.”  Jen said.  You could see Tara was still buzzing with adrenaline from the confrontation.  On the walk home we talked about some ways to cheer Lauren up and help her forget about the break-up.  We settled upon a movie night/pizza party in their dorm room with all our friends...males included.  We were about to break dorm rules and knew this rebellious plan would improve Lauren's mood.

The plan was to congregate in Lauren and Mags room at 8PM with sleepover items.  There were nine of us crammed in the room and we all staked out a spot.  This was a completely innocent sleepover, no alcohol, no kissing, just a bunch of friends hanging out and seeing if we could get away with having a co-ed nine person sleepover.

We watched The Princess Bride; half of us had seen it and half had not.  I excused myself at one point in the movie to call my parents.  They expected me to call and would be worried if I didn't. 

“Hi honey, how has your weekend been?” my mom asked.

“Busy.  Jen tried to set me up on a blind date and it failed.  Then Lauren's boyfriend got jealous and hit her so we told him their relationship was over.”  I didn't dare tell her about the sober patrol and my drunken night.

“What part of that includes you studying?  Hmm?  If you do not score well, I will know it's due to all these people preoccupying your attention.  Follow my advice, avoid these so called friends.  They are trying to keep you from doing well.”  I could feel the blood trickle as I absentmindedly rubbed the scab from my last cutting. 

“Mom, I spend so much more time than anyone on my floor studying.  I know you can't see it, but I am working really hard here.”

“Like hell you are.  We will see when those grades come back.” she snarled.  And the tears fell from my eyes.  I felt so frustrated even though I know this was her way of encouraging me, but it came across so negative and bleak.  I felt like I should just give up now because I could never be good enough for her.

“I know you don't believe me, but I am trying.  Listen, I need to go.  Bye.” and I hung up before I said something I regretted.  I curled into a ball on my floor and cried.  I don't know how long I stayed like that, trapped in my hopelessness.  I took some deep breaths and tried to straighten myself out and decided that I needed to not stay for the sleepover.  I would go back, eat with them, watch the movie and excuse myself.  Surely with eight other people they would not miss me.  When I felt calm enough to head back to Mags and Lauren's I snuck in to not disrupt the movie watchers.

Unfortunately, someone had taken my spot.  Jared moved over and made a space next to him.  At this point, I was still thinking about the drama on the phone and could care less who I sat by.  “Hey, thanks” I managed as I squeezed in next to him.  I was trying to not look at him since he was probably still upset with me. “Hey” he replied, he looked up at me and his face turned serious when he saw my vacant expression.  I had hoped the dark room and movie would be distracting enough to hide the fact that I had been crying, but he apparently noticed that too.

“You OK?” he whispered.  Thankfully he was tactful and did not announce at full volume that something was wrong with me.  I nodded and fixed my eyes on the TV.  My relationship with my mom was too complex to try to explain.  Besides, what if I was the one at fault in that conversation
?
  I wouldn't want Jared to think less of me.  I couldn't look at him, I was afraid if I did, I would start crying again. I laid down on the pillow I had brought and cuddled around it for security.  I stared at the TV, not even aware of what was on the screen.  My mind was cycling with negative thoughts
“you failed”, “you didn't try hard enough”, “you don't deserve this”, “I don't care if you got a perfect score – I saw every mistake you made”, “you should be like Susan – she's so much prettier than you”,
and
“when you fail, we're pulling you out of there and sending you to a cheaper school so you can stop wasting our money with your lack of effort.”
I was trying to not let the tears begin again and focused on my breathing. It was a simple task that I needed to concentrate on, in and out.  I was so focused that I hardly noticed the warm arm snaking under my own and coiling around my waist.  I felt the rhythmic movements of his chest with each breath and I tried to match my breathing with his.  This helped.  He snuggled just a little closer with his chin resting near the top of my head.  I let him do this.  I needed to feel physical contact when inside I was so beaten to a pulp emotionally.  It's funny how my mind was still processing the conversation I had with my mom and preventing me from fully appreciating this experience.  What I did appreciate was his warmth, his gentle gesture, his arms that made me feel safe, and his scent.  He smelled nice, like spices and musk.  He held me till the movie ended and didn't uncoil from me till someone turned the lights on.  The absence of his touch stirred me and brought me out of my head and into the present.  I sat up and we shared a silent gaze.  His eyes showed concern for me and I was hoping mine showed more gratitude than sorrow.

“I need to use the bathroom” Greg announced breaking the silence. 

“Umm, we hadn't thought about that when we planned this.” said Mags.  “It's past curfew so if you get caught on our floor – you will be in big trouble.”

“I gotta' go, too.” said Edward.

“Hold on a sec, let me scope out the situation.” offered Jen.  She crept down the hall, past the RA's room and into the girl's bathroom.  She checked all the stalls and found them empty. “The coast is clear” she said.

It was quite comical seeing these boys creep down the girl's hall to the bathroom.  The mission was a success.  We limited the boys' beverages so they would not need to go again until the morning.

I couldn't bring myself to leave my friends to sleep in my own room.  I didn't want to be alone with my thoughts tonight so I stayed for the sleepover.  After lots of talking and joking in the dark, we all fell asleep.  Jared was still next to me and I had hoped he would cuddle with me again.  I wasn't sure what kind of dreams my sleep would bring but I knew feeling his breaths next to me would probably encourage happier thoughts and more peaceful sleep.  Unfortunately, he just wrapped his arms around his pillow and went to sleep.

As soon as the sun was up, I grabbed my pillow, snuck out, and headed to my room.  Finals were just two weeks away and I needed to do my best so my friends and freedom were not taken away from me.