Tethered (28 page)

My mind drifted back to a long ago evening at the deserted lot in New Jersey. Emmet and I had skated for a long time that night before ending in the same positions we were in now. He had kissed me and I had fallen off of my board.

I wanted to go back to that day. I would do a lot of things differently. I wouldn’t have pushed him away. I would have admitted to myself how I felt about him and embraced it. Maybe we would still be together.

But as Emmet had said over coffee, we couldn’t go backward, but we could try to move forward. Where would we end up, though?

“Let’s go get some lunch,” Emmet said, frowning slightly. He had apparently been in deep thought, too.

“Okay,” I said. I got off of my board, tucked it under my arm. We walked quietly side by side. When Emmet’s fingers nudged mine in question, I answered by curling my hand around his.

We decided to stop back at the hotel and ask my mom if she wanted to go to lunch with us. I told Emmet about all of the progress she had made, but her life had become all about me. I wasn’t even sure if she had any friends.

“And she’s always tired,” I said as we walked across the lobby to the elevators. “I think I’m wearing her out.”

“She does look drained,” Emmet said, frowning.

“Maybe she just needs to get out a little bit more. We’re in New York City. She should be out enjoying it just as much as me.”

“It’s probably not easy for her to return to the real world after so many years of being out of it.”

“Probably not,” I agreed.

When I stepped through the door of the suite, I was surprised to see that we had a guest. I was so surprised that I had halted and Emmet had run into the back of me.

“What’s…” he started to say but then saw what I saw. His hand shot to my waist in a possessive hold.

“It’s about time you got back,” Felix Hunter said. “Your mom is kicking my ass in poker.”

“What are you doing here?” I asked, stepping further into the room and out of Emmet’s grasp.

I opened the small closet behind the door and stashed the skateboard in there. Emmet followed suit. He stood very close to me and again I could feel the tension in his body.

“I brought your pictures,” Felix answered, holding up a manila envelope. He smiled but it was a tight smile. His eyes flickered to Emmet and back to me. “I’m afraid I can’t have lunch with you this week. I have to fly to L.A. to start filming. We’re starting a couple of weeks early.”

How strange my life has become
, I thought as Felix handed me the envelope. I had my…Emmet, my semi-sane mother and a megastar standing in the middle of my New York City hotel suite.

“Thank you,” I said, smiling at my friend.

“Can I talk to you?” he asked and nodded towards the hallway. “Alone?”

I didn’t need Emmet’s permission, but I found my head swiveling towards him anyway. His eyes darkened, but he stepped around me and started talking to my mom about our afternoon plans. I took that as a yes, put the envelope down on the table and followed Felix into the hallway. He gently took my arm and led me down the hall and into the stairwell.

“I guess this is as much privacy as we’re going to get,” he said.

I watched, stunned, as Felix Hunter nervously ran a hand through his hair and looked at me almost as if he was afraid to speak. Felix Hunter doesn’t get nervous. Felix Hunter always says exactly what’s on his mind. Those were two of the many staples that made Felix Hunter wanted and idolized by millions of females and some males across the globe.

“What’s up?” I asked, leaning back against the wall.

He looked at me for a long moment before speaking. There was something in his eyes that made feel a little uncomfortable, and a little excited, which immediately made me feel guilty with Emmet only a few yards away waiting for me.

“Is that the guy?” he asked. His eyes flickered to my bracelet. “Is that the guy that hurt you?”

I shifted from foot to foot. I didn’t like the way he worded that. Emmet and I hurt each other, and yeah, I was probably hurt more than Emmet when he left, but I didn’t like Felix making him into a villain. I had told Felix a shortened version of our story, but I had never expected the men to meet.

“Yes,” I finally answered.

“Are you two back together now?” Felix asked. He put a palm on the wall beside my head, partially caging me in.

“No.” I shook my head.

“I have to admit, I was very surprised and very disappointed when you brought him to my party.”

I defensively crossed my arms and couldn’t help how my brow creased with irritation. “I didn’t know I had to check with you first, Felix.”

He made a low sound of exasperation and rolled his eyes. “Don’t go getting your feathers all ruffled up, Miss Stewart. Of course you didn’t have to check with me first, but I had expectations that were thwarted.”

“My friend was sick so she sent her brother in her stead,” I said, speaking quickly. “I had no idea that she was going to do that. He was the last person I expected.”

“He looked like he wanted to
try
to kick my ass,” Felix snorted.

“Probably because he
did
want to kick your ass.”

“It’s a good thing he doesn’t know what I wanted to do to you last night,” Felix said in a low voice and put his hand on my hip.

“Felix,” I said his name in warning. “On our first day together you told me that you’ll be my friend.”

“I also told you that I really, really liked you. I’ve tried to just let it go, but I still really, really like you, Donya. In fact, I like you more than ever.”

He took a step closer to me. Our bodies were almost touching. My chest rose and fell too quickly.

“I was going to ask you to reconsider last night,” he said softly. “I was going to ask you to come with me to L.A. and try with me.”

“Try what?” I asked just above a whisper.

“Try us,” Felix said even softer. “So, I’m asking you now. Come to L.A with me.”

“That wasn’t a question,” I said dumbly.

He was so close now. His forehead was touching mine. My breathing was so erratic, I began to feel dizzy.

Felix smiled and asked in a very low tone, “Will you come with me to L.A., Donya Stewart?”

My chest twisted in pain. The truth was…I wanted to. I wanted to go with him. I wanted to fight my mom and other parents and take off with Felix to L.A. I remembered what it felt like to kiss him and thought about how nice it would be to kiss him every morning and every night. I imagined holding his hand while walking down the infamous streets of L.A. and swimming in the Pacific with him outside of his Malibu beach home. I shamefully imagined losing my virginity to him on an enormous bed inside an insanely expensive hotel suite.

If Emmet had not showed up at my door the night before, I may have seriously considered it. The truth was, I really liked Felix, and I could probably be quite content with him in L.A. for a little while, but Felix played hard. He would get bored with me and he would want more. His drinking and partying would eventually become an issue between us. And my career? What would happen to it if I moved out of New York?

“I can’t,” I said with a sigh.

I felt Felix’s body sag a little, but he didn’t back away.

“Is it because of him?” he asked and I could hear the disappointment in his voice.

“Somewhat,” I admitted. “But there’s more. I don’t think I will live up to your expectations, Felix. I like parties and excitement, but only in small increments.” I put my hand in his hair and ruffled it. “You’re a wild one and you don’t need anyone holding you down or holding you back.”

He threw his head back and groaned with frustration. When he looked at me again, he was smiling, though his eyes were rather sad.

“You’re sixteen years old,” he said incredulously. “Why are you so damn responsible?”

I smiled, too. “Trust me. I think it’s more a curse than a gift.”

“I’m definitely feeling cursed,” he groaned.

I put a hand on his chest as I looked into his grey eyes. “Are we still friends, Felix?” He was the one true New York friend I had, and though he was about to leave for a few months, I didn’t want to end our friendship.

“You can’t get rid of me that easily,” he said with a grin. He kissed my cheek, sweetly and slowly before stepping away from me. “I better take you back to your suite before your boyfriend comes after us.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” I said as I stepped through the door he held open for me. But I did suspect that Emmet would come looking for us soon.

“Whatever,” Felix said flippantly. He pulled a pair of sunglasses out of his back pocket and slipped them on. “Is this a good disguise? I don’t want the press claiming that your suite is our personal love shack again.”

“Your disguise stinks, Hunter,” I laughed. “And the press can claim anything it wants. I got free PR.”

Felix wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me off of the floor in a big hug. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him back and planted a kiss on his neck.

“Don’t forget about me,” I said.

“Impossible,” he said in my ear. “Besides, you’re flying out to visit me.”

“I can do that,” I grinned.

He put me down on my feet and kissed my cheek once more. “I’ll call you soon.”

“Okay,” I said and watched him walk down the hallway.

“By the way,” he said, walking backward. “Those shorts are spicy.”

“Hot,” I added with a laugh.

“Sexy,” he grinned and then disappeared around the corner.

I turned around and reached into my pocket for my key, but the door swung open and Emmet stood on the other side.

“I was just coming to find you,” he said rather stiffly.

“Now you don’t have to,” I smiled and stepped past him into the room. I expected to find my mom sitting on the couch waiting to go to lunch. “Where’s my mom?”

“She said she was tired,” Emmet said, leaning against a wall and crossing his arms. He appeared to be a little beefier than he was last year.

“She went to bed?”

“Yes.”

I frowned. I looked towards her bedroom door and half considered going in there. I couldn’t shake that nagging feeling that something was wrong with her.

“Do you still want to go to lunch?” Emmet asked quietly. “Or are you going to do something with Felix?”

I looked at him. His body was stiff and a muscle in his jaw moved.

“Felix is going to L.A.,” I said carefully. “He came by to say goodbye.”

He seemed to relax a little, but only a little.

“I’m surprised he didn’t ask you to go with him.”

I picked up the envelope of pictures. I didn’t open it, but I played with the flap that kept them enclosed.

“He did ask me.”

Emmet sucked in a breath and his body stiffened once again. The muscles in his arms rippled as his hands fisted.

“I said no,” I continued. I put the envelope down and took the few steps to Emmet. I put a hand on his arm and said “Let’s go to lunch.”

He looked down at my hand and then my face. After a moment, he let out that breath he had sucked in and took my hand in his. We were just stepping out of the door when Emmet asked me “Did you want to go?”

I glanced up at him and quickly looked away. “Part of me wanted to go,” I admitted.

“Which part would that be?” he asked tightly as we walked down the hallway.

“Does it matter?” I shot back. “I’m not going, and for the record, you’re not allowed to be angry about this.”

I punched the button for the elevator. We got on in silence and silence followed us all the way downstairs and through the lobby.

Chapter Twenty-Three

When the
Rolling Stone
issue hit the magazine shelves, my life changed. People recognized me on the street. Men asked me out. Women questioned me about Felix and about breaking into the modeling business, and shockingly, more than a few people requested my autograph. My workload quadrupled. I went from working a few days a week to working sometimes seven days a week, no less than ten hours a day. I landed a small part on a sitcom filmed in the city and a commercial for a hair care product that would run nationwide.

Fred had a conniption about the
Rolling Stone
cover. He went as far as calling it child pornography, which was very unfair. I was barely a child, my lady bits weren’t showing, and no one was exploiting me. Sam surprisingly took my side and regarded the cover as artful and tasteful, and even though she had seen my hair have better days, that I looked beautiful. Emmet said he had to struggle not to punch any guy that either ogled the cover of the magazine or talked about it. I don’t know why that brought me a bit of satisfaction, but it did.

Emmet had returned to Cambridge the same night Felix had asked me to go with him to L.A. Even though he had classes the next day, he had considered staying another few days, but I had convinced him it was best to stick with his regular schedule, and since mine was all over the place, I couldn’t guarantee that we’d be able to hang out anyway. We stayed in touch through phone calls and emails. The conversations were light and friendly, but every night when it was time to hang up the phone, we each hesitated and dragged the call out another few minutes. When the semester ended not long after his visit, instead of hitting up some warm beach with scantily clad women in bikinis with his friends, Emmet came to see me in New York.

When working in the modeling business, your life tends to be unpredictable. You may have your whole day planned out ahead of you. You may have plans of getting some breakfast with an old friend, going to the American Museum of Natural History, eating fattening pizza for dinner and then seeing where the rest of the night takes you. But when your agent calls you while your pancakes are still hot on your plate and tells you to get your ass to a casting call, nothing else matters. You drop everything, including that piece of pancake you were shamefully about to put into your mouth. As you apologize profusely to your visiting friend and move out of the booth, you pray that the other twenty bites of pancakes and four slices of bacon and coffee with extra cream and extra sugar don’t ruin your chance to get the job. You pray that you don’t look as fat as you feel, and if you have to squeeze your ass into any clothes, you know you better be able to button or zip whatever it is. This was the case on Emmet’s first day back in the city.