Tethered (13 page)

Right? Wasn’t I the one seducing him?

“If anyone had their rights violated, it was you, Zander. Not me.” She leaned back to look him in the eye. “Did I do wrong?”

He shook his head. “No...” But guilt still flowed from him, tainting the afterglow she felt.

“You feel guilty.”

“Yes.”

A seeping anger displaced her pleasure. Perhaps for all her talents she’d misread his needs. Confused them with her own. “You haven’t betrayed Mirsee by having sex with me. I don’t expect anything more from you. It was something we both needed.”

“Is that all it was?”

“Should it have been more? Your body wanted it.”

“Is need the only reason?” He sounded bitter. Regretful. What did he want her to say? That it was more? To admit it was him she craved, when she could have taken any suitable male in Neutrality? Because she’d had the choice, and she’d made it without hesitation. Did he expect her to love him as well?

“No,” she admitted. “If it was just need I could have used anyone. I wanted
you
.”

If anything, her words seemed to deepen his feelings of remorse and self-loathing. He wouldn’t look at her. Was it just because of Mirsee? Or was he ashamed of having sex with a Su? Of merely giving in to his body’s needs? A master of his emotions, was he so unwilling to be seen as human after all?

“This must never happen again,” he whispered. “Never.”

She lifted herself off him and gathered up her shift. Zander slumped forward, burying his face in his hands. Those fleeting moments of bliss with him died and soured in her belly. So much for sex without death. It had never left her feeling as sullied as this.

“I’m sorry,” she forced out. “I won’t trouble you again.”

“Tyree...” he began, but she Misted out and fled rather than hear another word from his mouth.

Chapter Eight

Zander called at her door early the next morning. The urge to flip into combat mode when she saw him was so strong she had to walk away from him, arms wrapped tightly around herself as she fought her instinct.

“May I come in?” The hesitant edge to his voice made it easier. Did he regret his words last night? Or the fact that he’d allowed her to seduce him?

“Yes.” The word came out with more snap than she’d intended, and she bit her lip. This had to be dealt with.

“Tyree, last night—”

“Was a mistake.” The words burst from her, fueled by anger, but she held back the tears she felt edging into her eyes. How had he done that to her? Su never cried, not even in extreme pain.

But this is a new kind of pain...

“Perhaps.”

She turned to face him. He had his eyes downcast; his hands were clenched at his sides. Normally so poised, so certain, the shadows in his face this morning told her how he was struggling to keep that diplomatic veneer.

“You wanted me as badly as I wanted you. You can’t lie about that. I felt it.”

“I...” He seemed shaken, perhaps embarrassed. Inwardly she sneered, although her heart twisted in sympathy and she hated herself for that. Some humans had such peculiar hang-ups about sex. She couldn’t understand it at all.

“I broke the Rules of Decorum. Neither side gave verbal permission.”

Tyree snorted. “You’re pissed because I didn’t ask your permission?”

“No!” He clasped his hands together, as if forcing himself back under control after his outburst. “No. I am concerned because I didn’t have
your
permission.”

She laughed. “Zander, I gave my permission the moment I kissed you.”

“That is not the correct procedure.”

“Procedure?” She stalked up to him. “Do you think Inc-Su obey your blasted Decorum? Do you think my targets do?”

“Is that how you see me? As a target? No permission necessary?”

“You know you aren’t my target.”

“Then what am I?” He stepped in closer. “Why did you come to me last night? Why did you—”

“Seduce you? Have sex with you?”

“Yes.”

Tyree took a breath. “I was checking our quarters. That is part of my assignment. Keeping you safe.”

And a piss poor job I’ve done so far.

“And sleeping with me?”

“No.” She grinned, though she didn’t find it funny right now. “That was a perk.”

Zander flushed red. “Is that how you see it?”

“Don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy it. I won’t need to read your aura to know that’s a lie.”

“I can’t deny my feelings last night,” he admitted. “I question the wisdom of it. This mission is imperative, and my actions may have compromised it.”

“Your mission?” Tyree stared up into those brown eyes that sent quivers through her abdomen even in her rage. “Is that all that matters to you, Zander D’joren. Is a diplomat all you are now?”

“Yes.” The intensity in his voice shook her. “The day I woke—the day they told me Mirsee was dead—it became the only thing I had left.”

Some of the anger wound out of her.

Zander sighed. “When they told me, I...lost my sanity. It took several sessions with a psyche moderator, weeks strapped to my bed with a cocktail of suppressants before I was even coherent again, let alone safe to release. I wanted to...” He swallowed hard. His composure seemed shaken. “When that insanity passed and they judged me fit to release, the only thing remaining to me was the intention to complete the treaty no matter what. The thing I didn’t confess to my psyche moderator was the desire to seek out the assassin personally once that mission was complete. Those two needs are the only things that help to keep the nightmares at bay, that keep me sane when all else threatens to overwhelm me.”

Although he kept his words measured, his voice level, the torture he had suffered made her ache. He wasn’t asking for her sympathy or understanding, she realized. Just telling her the truth. “But it must not happen again.”

“Why? Worried you’ll sully yourself frigging a dirty Su?”

“We need to work together. I don’t believe it should be more than that.” He held his hands as if begging her. Or perhaps praying. An odd gesture. “I think if you intend to continue your patrol, I must ask you to stay out of my room.”

Tyree snorted. “So you don’t trust me—” She stopped herself shy of saying ‘either’ and possibly betraying Pevanne’s suspicions of her. “If it worries you so much, why don’t you Tether me?”

Zander reached into a pocket and threw something onto the bed. A Tether device. Tyree shivered.

“The Terran council sent it to me as soon as they knew about you,” he told her.

“Why haven’t you used it?”

“Because I trusted you. From the moment we met.”

“Foolish and sentimental.” She grasped at her anger in desperation. She couldn’t let him see how much the device bothered her. Couldn’t show her fear and uncertainty—such weakness. “Just because I’m Mirsee’s clone doesn’t mean I’m like her.”

“You’re not like her. Not a bit, aside from your face. But that’s not why I trust you.” Zander stopped, as if unwilling to let slip anything more. Even angry, he kept himself under greater control than any Inc-Su or human she had ever met. Only the red flush in his cheeks and the pinched look to his face betrayed him. “Tyree.”

He grasped her hand, and though she could have Misted out and fled again, she didn’t. Warmth flowed into her from his touch, and she felt her will dissolve as surely as if one of her Inc-Su siblings had shared her aura. But he wasn’t Inc-Su. He was human. And he wasn’t afraid of her, of what she was.

“I know you’re not Mirsee. Please don’t mistake my concern for you as some hope of having her back with me in some way. I...fear for your safety more than my own. But with the treaty to negotiate...” He folded his other hand around hers. “I cannot make any promises I might be forced to break. And right now, I couldn’t bear to lose someone else dear to me. That pain goes unhealed, just like my scars. Do you understand?”

She stared down at his hand holding hers. He cared about her?

“Tyree, please.”

“I understand.” She almost choked on the words, but they were true. Everything was stacked against them right now, and they had a job to do.

“Good. That’s...good.” He released her. “Then perhaps you’ll join me for breakfast shortly?”

She nodded, her throat too tight to speak. But as he turned and made for the door, a terrible thought wormed its way into her mind. “Zander?”

“Yes?”

“When both your missions are complete, what will you do?”

He held very still. His head turned toward her but she couldn’t see the expression on his face. So softly she could barely catch the words he murmured, “I don’t know.”

***

Tyree looked at the dress Visaya had brought for that evening. “You have to be frigging joking.”

Heavy copper velvet hung in huge folds from the shoulders to the cuffs, slits cut along the sleeves so that a ton of fabric had been used yet would hide very little of her skin. The skirt would sweep the floor, and she’d be lucky if she didn’t catch her legs in it and fall over. Elaborate brocade crisscrossed the bodice, a corset-style top that would hold her in so tightly she doubted she’d be able to breath. “I am
not
wearing that!”

Visaya looked like she would burst into tears. “But this is the dress the Lady Mirsee commissioned.”

Mothers and Fathers, how I hate you now, sister clone of mine.

“Can’t I wear the blue dress? The one I had for the inauguration?”

“I am afraid that was destroyed when they cleansed the sanctum after the attack with the cleric.”

Tyree glared at the dress. Flawed. The stupid woman had definitely been flawed, both mentally and physically. The dress was her worst nightmare. “I won’t be able to move in the damn thing!”

“Of course you will, my lady.” Visaya reached to remove Tyree’s night robe.

Tyree let her, but even as it left her naked, she made a decision. “I’m going to wear my Su tunic underneath.”

“But, my lady—”

“No.” She pulled out the silvery black mesh garment and tugged it over her head. “None of this stuff of Mirsee’s Mists out with me, and I’m not running around
Centralis
naked again.”

“Why would you need to?”

“Why would I...” Tyree spluttered to silence and gave up. Even now, Visaya didn’t get it. Assassin and bodyguard first. A ponced-up Skiv second. “Just do it. Please?”

Visaya obeyed.

***

Zander met her in the main foyer, accompanied by two Paladins just as she had been. He raised his eyebrows as she approached. Forced to regulate her pace to tiny steps to avoid tangling her legs in the extravagant robe, Tyree must have looked like she was creeping around with something to hide.

“It is rather spectacular,” he commented, gesturing to the dress.

“It’s a pain in the...” Tyree stopped herself.
Decorum at all times now
, she scolded herself. “It’s fitting for the occasion.”

The smile Zander gave her showed he knew exactly what she meant. “Are you ready?”

“No. But I guess we can’t be late.”

“At this particular time and place, no.” He moved closer. “Do you like to use scent enhancers?”

The question threw her. “I’ve never had any need for them.”

“Because of your Inc-Su pheromones.” He answered her smile with another. “Although you’ve not been using those around me.”

“Of course not!”
Although maybe I should have.
“But Inc-Su
never
smell bad.”

“So I’d noticed.”

His almost-flirtatious tones confused her more. He was so hard to read, without his aura bare to see. One minute he seemed interested in her more than simply as a companion, and then he’d withdraw again, as if regretting it.

What
is
going on in that head of yours, Zander? Or should I be saying your heart?

As for his smell...Tyree took a deep breath. Faint traces of capprey. The almost-spicy scent of his skin with deeper tones that had a synthetic edge. A cleanser perhaps? Scent enhancers tended to be stronger and more artificial than those she could detect on him right now. And right now he smelled intoxicating enough without any help.

“Mirsee?”

Oh Mothers...

She snapped her attention back to his face. “Sorry.”

“We’ll be going down now. Are you all right?”

As much as I’ll ever be.
She gave him a grin far more confident than she felt as she nodded. “All set.”

***

Curved metal struts like braided gold wire formed a gigantic dome. Metaglass filled the spaces between, allowing the warped colors of the nearby nebula cloud to cast a natural veil overhead. Tyree entered on Zander’s arm through a narrow tube-like hallway, a lattice of golden metal joining the
Centralis
station to the free-floating dome. As it opened into the main area, her breath caught. It was huge. Bigger than anything she’d known in Refuge, even bigger than some of the mega-hotels she’d been to. Steps descended to the main floor. Long tables held a variety of food and drink, between which moved crowds of mostly human guests with a scattering of alien races. Camullanese, Metraxian, Taluvian and Skree, to name but a few.

The Tier-vane were there too, unmistakably tall—more than two meters each. Their angular faces gave them a predatory look matched by large, vivid orange eyes with vertical pupils. A mottled pattern ran the length of their sharp cheek bones and the edges of their jaws, a darker brown on the male than on his female counterpart. Short, tufted hair covered their heads, a golden color that shone like a warped halo of sunlight around their faces. Tyree had seen images of them, but the way they prowled from the doorway into the gallery sent sharp pinpricks of unease up her back.

I don’t envy the Inc-Su who got sent after them in the war.

Zander’s fingers tightened around her own.

Easy.

Tyree drew in a long, restorative breath then let it slip back out, taking her tension with it. She was Mirsee, diplomat and flawed Su down to every last strand of her DNA, co-delegate bonded to Zander D’joren. Or so she hoped the Tier-vane would believe. Together they walked down to meet the Tier-vane in the center of the hall, all eyes upon them. See-vu globes hovered around, transmitting images of this historical meeting from every angle to all those worlds in the Territories that had the technology to receive them—and no doubt likewise to those of the Tier-vane. This was Neutrality, with the attention of sentient beings everywhere fixed on the events within.