Tess Awakening (13 page)

Tess fulminated; “Is it customary to kidnap
people in Turkey?”

Amir smiled. “I merely wanted to invite you
into my home and to meet someone special. This is Aara.”

Tess looked at the child, who was shyly
holding on to Amir’s leg. She was gorgeous, sporting large round
black eyes.

Amir talked to her. “Aara, please welcome
Miss Tess.”

The child reluctantly left Amir’s side,
walked toward Tess and curtsied. “Welcome, Miss Tess.”

Tess had not expected this scene, and all she
could say was “Thank you Aara. I am very pleased to meet you.”

The girl quickly returned to grab Amir’s
hand. She put her thumb in her mouth and stared at Tess. Amir
gently admonished the girl. “Aara, you know it’s not polite to do
that. You are a lady.” The girl quickly put her hand behind
her.

A woman, apparently the girl’s nanny,
appeared as if on cue, took the child by the hand, and walked her
out of the room.

Amir pointed at a chair. “Tess, please have a
seat.”

Still trying to process what she had seen,
Tess slowly sat down and for a moment stood silent.

Amir inquired if he could offer refreshment,
and Tess asked for a glass of water. Amir poured the liquid from a
splendid crystal flask. “I apologize for bringing you here this
way. I just thought that it would be beneficial to introduce you to
the source of our conflict.”

“The girl is beautiful.”

“Thank you, and, as you can see, she is happy
here.”

“General, the basic issue is still relevant.
You have no right to hold the child.”

“I must insist on being called Amir. I am not
a General here. If you persist, we shall never talk with you
again.”

“All right; I will call you Amir.”

“Splendid! We are making progress.”

Amir was not as insouciant as he appeared.
The sight of Tess again stirred his passions anew. He could not
control his burning need for the woman. Her sense of self, her
relentless focus on ‘saving’ the girl, and her rejections of his
cravings just made her even more desirable. It was no longer a case
of conquest or seduction, but a genuine need to possess this woman
entirely, to take pleasure in her, to have her in his life.

“Tess, I am trying to understand why you want
the child. You don’t know her. She is not of your blood. You don’t
even know what you are going to do with her. She has no relatives
left.”

“I had told you before that I made a promise
to Kejal when she died in my arms. She wanted the child away from
you. And I always keep my promises.”

Amir affected a skeptical look; “Always? Even
when the task is impossible? I believe that your culture calls this
a quixotic quest, a futile effort than invariably ends in
failure.”

Tess’s overpowering sense of duty had
dominated her approach to life since an early age; it was combined
with a relentless drive and absolute focus in pursuit of her goals.
She never quit. Now Amir was challenging her cherished, deeply felt
beliefs. For the first time, she was no longer sure of herself.

Amir looked at Tess with sincerity. “What
will it take for you to consider me a man worthy of respect, a man
that you would want in your life? You know I am not a monster.”

No longer sure of herself, Tess tried to
overcome her hesitancy. “You know what I want, Amir.”

“Even if it does not make sense?”

“Even so.”

“Very well. I will agree to let you have the
girl, but there is a price. I want you. I crave you. I must have
you, not as a conquest, but as a cherished part of my life. I will
do anything for you.”

“I … I can’t Amir. I am in a
relationship.”

“I know about it. Is it really serious? Has
he offered marriage? He is not even here with you.”

“I just cannot consider the arrangement you
suggest. You and I are from different worlds.”

Amir looked at her with longing. “Tess, if
you are not sure about my proposal, I offer a compromise. Spend a
month with me. We will go away from here, to France, Italy, and
England, whatever you prefer. Visit beautiful places. Spend some
time with the girl. I will not touch you unless you want me to. I
will only consider you as an honored guest. At the end of that, you
decide what you want to do.”

“That’s a lot to digest, Amir. I am not ready
make a commitment of that magnitude.”

“All I ask is for you to consider it. I will
wait for your decision for one week.”

Tess, unsure and confused, clearly showed her
vulnerability. Amir gently put his hands around her waist and
gently kissed her. Tess did not resist.

Amir let her go and rang a bell on the table.
The butler appeared. “Please tell the driver to take Miss Turner to
her hotel.” He left the room. Tess stood still, a whirlwind of
emotions overwhelming her.

***

Tess placed a call to Jake from the hotel
phone, but just got a message. Their cell phones did not work very
well internationally, and she desperately wanted to talk with him.
The confusion in her mind was overwhelming. Her sense of honor
still demanded that she fulfill her promise to Kejal, but now the
situation was no longer black and white. It was obvious that the
little girl was happy and well taken care of. Amir seemed to be
truly fond of the child.

“What could I offer the child?” she asked
herself. Is it even possible to adopt her? If that could be done,
it would be the end of her Army career. Other women in the service
had families, but she wasn’t sure that she could reorient her
uncompromising goals to act as a parent to a child that would be
taken out of a familiar environment.

How about her relationship with Jake? She
loved him; he was warm, considerate, funny and a foil against her
impetuousness. Now he had resigned from the CIA. What did this
mean? What would he do next? Would he support her decision to keep
the child? This was a step that they had not even discussed. She
knew that Jake had gone along with her quest to have Amir let go of
the child, but without conviction. Being a realist, he was along
for the ride only because he said he loved her.

She was also distressed by the simple fact
that her hatred of Amir was dissipating. The man was complex. Due
to his position in society, he was arrogant, and from her initial
interaction with him, it was obvious that he was also ruthless and
demanding. Could she believe that he had changed? His entreaties
toward her seemed sincere.

Her own reaction to Amir particularly
dismayed her. She started to see that he was very similar to her.
He pursued what he wanted with determination and persistence. Even
though she was fearful of him, she had started to appreciate his
prodigious masculinity. There was an intensity to the man that
attracted her.

Jake finally called her back at the hotel. He
needed to stay for a little while longer because his mother was
ill. Tess assured him that it was fine for him to stay there, even
though she would miss him. She told him that Amir was still
stonewalling her but was willing to talk.

For the first time in her life, Tess did not
tell the truth. She knew that even a suggestion of her acceding to
Amir’s desires would be devastating to Jake, yet her rigid sense of
obligation was pushing her inexorably in that direction. By making
a sacrifice, she would free the child and fulfill the promise she
made to Kejal.

Amir had given her a card with his phone
number. She stared at it for a while. She made herself a stiff
drink. That was not enough to assuage the sense of dread in her
heart. She had another drink and another until she collapsed in
restless sleep.

Tess woke in the morning with a horrendous
hangover. She dragged herself into the shower and tried to recoup a
sense of equilibrium. It didn’t help much. Staying in the hotel
room would only add to her sense of despair, so she went to the
streets and started to walk. She did not use her trusty tourist
map. It didn’t matter where to walk. She just needed to lose
herself in the noise, traffic, multitudes and smells of the ancient
city. She walked past hallowed sites, busy bazaars, and persistent
street vendors. Inevitably, she had to dodge the occasional
admirer. Finally, she needed to cool down. She bought a ticket to
the
Yerebatan Sarayi
- or Basilica Cistern.

At the entrance, a guide was lecturing a
group of tourists.

“Built to store water, the cistern dates back
to Byzantine days when the city was called Constantinople. Built by
Emperor Justinian in the mid-500s, this cavernous underground
water-storage area has a vaulted brick ceiling supported by a
forest of Corinthian marble columns.”

Tess walked through the threshold.
Atmospheric music, rosy flood lighting and the lilting sound of
water lapping on marble – entering the cistern revealed an eerie,
magical place. She enjoyed the cool air and the air of mystery
permeating the ancient marvel. In a strange way, her tortured soul
received a small measure of respite from the agonizing decision she
had to make. The more she thought about her choices, the more
unsure she was about what to do. No matter; she had to decide.

She returned to the hotel and picked up the
phone. Amir responded on the first ring.

Tess was brief. “I will do it.”

Chapter 18

Jake arrived in New York after a 12-hour
flight. He rented a car and drove to Sleepy Hollow, 25 miles North
of the City, where his mother lived in a pretty small house that
Jake had bought for her.

Growing up, Jake had a great Mom, yet
something was missing – Dad. For Jake, it meant taking
responsibility at an early age and having all those feelings of
being responsible for everyone he loved be the driving factor in
his life. He had a younger sister and a younger brother. His
decision to join the military was to provide stability for them, to
offer them choices in life.

Because his mother had instilled in him a
profound belief in the benefits of education, he had excelled at
school and got a scholarship to study at Harvard University. He
taught himself three languages by the time he graduated with a
degree in Finance and a minor in International Relations.

He went to work for a couple of Wall Street
firms, where he quickly learned insider techniques to manipulate
markets, sell questionable financial products to gullible clients
and make a lot of money for his employers. He soon became cynical
about what he considered a financial house of cards, designed to
enrich a few people at the expense of everyone else. He also
learned how to make a lot of money for his investments,
accumulating enough assets that enabled him to quit finance and
pursue other goals.

Jake wanted to make a difference. He joined
the Army, breezed through the Officer Candidate School and was
commissioned as a Lieutenant in Army Intelligence. He worked his
way to Lieutenant Colonel until he was invited to join the CIA as a
Middle East operative. His ability to learn languages rapidly and
his facility to develop lucid assessments of cultural and political
forces in the area led to covert assignments behind the lines,
doing stuff that he did not want to discuss with anyone outside the
CIA.

Jake sometimes appeared to be a flying by
your pants guy, but he always had a plan and at least two backups.
He used to think that success was achieving the objectives of the
assignment, but the sometimes murky nature of CIA operations made
living through the mission the primary measure of success.

His mother hugged him, overcome with emotion.
She had not seen her son for two years. They spent an hour catching
up on things until dinner was ready.

Mom sensed that there was something different
about her son, and she gently tried to draw him out. After his dad
had died, Jake had retreated into himself for a while. He lost
himself into schoolwork, and in his mind, he laid out plans to
manage his life and take care of his family.

“Jake, I feel that there is something else
that you aren’t telling me.” Mom was at the kitchen counter
transferring food from the pan to a platter.

“You are right, Mom. I need to discuss
something that has dogged my life for years. I had always felt that
I missed out on many things when Dad died. You did your best, but I
always felt it was not the same as having dad help me socialize
properly or to get along in school and college.”

Mom put her fork down. “Tell me about it,
Jake.”

“I failed to develop social skills at a young
age. I became an introvert and was socially awkward. When kids were
playing, going to the soda shop and doing stupid things, I was in
the library. The only reason I had a date for the senior prom is
because the girl invited me. I was shy most of my life, and I never
hit on a girl or start a relationship first.

I think part of what kept me back was your
insistence that a real man must respect and protect women. The
problem is that when you are young, such respect does not always
work to your advantage. While my classmates bragged about their
conquests I could not bring myself to do the same; your dictate
about respecting girls prevented me from making the proper moves to
get a date. I always had trouble having a physical relationship
with girls, because of the respect issue. I think I missed out on a
lot of things.”

Mom looked Jake in the eyes. “Son, if I had
to do it again, I would still tell you that respecting women is
essential to being a real man. Seduction for its own sake rarely
produces meaningful relationships; eventually it destroys them.
Yes, your years in school may have been less than satisfactory in a
social sense, but only because current social behaviors have
morphed into a culture of exploitation and sometimes abuse.”

“Mom, I didn’t start this conversation to
scold you about the values you drummed in me — I want to thank you.
I have met an incredible, amazing woman that makes all of that
worthwhile. Her name is Tess, and I am in love with her. She is
someone that would never put up with assholes and idiots, who is
her own person; she demands respect and respects me. I have never
experienced such an overwhelming need to be with a woman in my
life.”