Tequila & Tea Bags (20 page)

He smiles. That’s the only affirmation I need. He knows I’m used to sleeping with scuzzy guys who couldn’t give a shit about my feelings. He knows that’s what I’m used to. He’s tried to recreate it, only this time it’s with someone who actually cares about me. I could tear up. It’s strangely more romantic to me than the candles and the suit.

‘This is so sweet,’ I gush, a lump forming in my throat.

He walks forward, his shirt open; showing off his delicious bronzed six pack. How did he get that living in Yorkshire?  I wonder if he fake tans.  He starts kissing me, his lips like a piece of heaven. God, I’m melting and he’s barely touched me yet.

‘I’m going to make love to you now, Rose. And you’re going to have your first orgasm.’ He smiles arrogantly, shrugging out of his shirt and letting it fall to the floor.

Wait, I didn’t tell him I’d never had an orgasm before. Did I? He’s so full of himself.  But with a body like that I would be too.

I scoff. ‘I’ve had sex loads of times, you know. What makes you so sure of yourself?’

He steps towards me and I already know the answer. I’m mad about him.

‘No, Rose. You’ve been
fucked
lots of times in the past. You’ve never been made love to. You’ll see the difference.’

I hope he’s not going to start crying and confessing his undying love for me. That would be awkward.

He pulls my hoodie over my head, then my top.  He grins, marvelling at my boobs which are pushed up by my red lacy bra. Thank God it’s a good one. 

I’m not sure if I’m happy with this ‘making love’ business. What does it even mean anyway? He hasn’t told me he loves me, so how on earth would he ‘
make love
’ to me? It probably just means it’ll be slow. Slow and boring. I hope he doesn’t light anymore candles.

I’m pushed back onto the bed before I have time to change my mind. He drops to his knees, removing my converse and socks.  He grins when he notices the fluffy socks. He starts kissing my ankle bone, making me squirm. Goose bumps appear all over my body as I contemplate my jumbled feelings for this man. The truth is that I know I’m falling hard and fast for him and that scares me more than anything.

He unbuttons my jeans and yanks them down roughly. I look down to see that I’m wearing an old thong which used to be white but is now grey. I cringe. Why oh why didn’t I see this coming?  He doesn’t seem to notice or care though. Thankfully my legs are smooth. Phew.  

He licks up my left inner thigh, his hot breath setting my skin on fire. He comes so close to Lulu that I can practically hear her whimpering. Instead he begins again on my right inner thigh. I shut my eyes and drink it in. 

Then his breath is on Lulu. I gasp and try to muffle the desperate groan escaping my lips.  I’m bursting for him.  He pulls on the sides of my thong, tugging it down. I lift my bum to help him. I feel so exposed under his gaze, spread open for him. 

He strokes Lulu with his nose before planting feather soft kisses all over her. He’s teasing me.  I shamelessly grind against his face, my desire for more consuming me. He delves his tongue in, devouring me as if I’m his last meal. Something inside me fires, setting my heart racing. The blood pumping around my body is so loud I fear he’ll hear it. 

It’s not enough though. I need him inside me. Now. 

I grasp his hair in my fingers and tug hard. He looks up at me, his lips glistening with my arousal. It should be gross, but it’s fucking hot. I smile shyly. Since when am I shy? He gets the hint and starts travelling up my body, his hands removing my bra and squeezing my raised nipples roughly. The sweet pain zings through my body, every nerve ending on high alert.

He sucks one into his mouth, alternating between nipping and sucking. My whole body is on fire. My brain feels like it might over heat from all of the sensations. Every time he touches me somewhere new my breath hitches in my throat, becoming thick and impossible to breathe out from my lungs.      

I grab his belt and tug impatiently. He smiles against my lips before taking over. He quickly undoes his trousers, pushing them and his boxers down his legs and kicking off his shoes.

He confidently kicks my legs further apart with his knees before reaching into his drawer and getting a condom. I part my thighs further, allowing him as near as possible. I swallow the lump in my throat when I hear the rip of the foil packet. This is really happening. The one thing I’ve wanted more than anything. Let’s hope after all this waiting I’m not a big disappointment to him. 

A moment later he’s resting against Lulu. She’s only too happy to oblige. He looks intently into my eyes, his pale greens gazing with probing intensity. 

‘Please,’ I whimper pathetically.  I’m not too proud to beg.

He kisses me slowly and deeply, his hand on my face, touching me, cherishing me.  My hands delve into his hair, grasping and pulling urgently.  With one quick movement he’s inside me, balls deep. Fuck! He’s huge! I’ve never felt so full in all of my life. It’s overwhelming.

A tear springs to my eyes from the shock. I take a deep breath, trying to collect myself.  It’s almost painful.  He stills, letting me get used to him, planting a kiss on the end of my nose.  I smile up at him, overcome with feelings; relishing being as close as two people can physically be.  

He begins moving slowly, his thrusts gentle, his hands roaming through my hair.  As I get used to it I start pushing my hips up to meet him, desperate for more friction.  My hands travel down his back, urging him closer.  He notices and quickens his pace, his hands now gripping my hair roughly, exposing my throat to him.  He nips and kisses at my chin and nibbles my ear lobe.  Something I never even knew I liked. 

Heat floods my body so quickly I feel a sheen of sweat cover me.  He’s hitting somewhere inside me that feels like electricity sparking up, travelling up my spine and hitting my brain with a rush. Butterflies flutter in my stomach, spreading out to my toes.  They curl, the butterflies quickly turning into shivers.  My breath hitches in my throat.  I can't breathe.  It’s a sensation overload.  What the fuck is happening?  Should I ask him to stop?  Will I survive this?

He changes position slightly and quickens up some more. 
Right there.
  Dear God, its heaven.  Euphoria explodes in my brain.  Spots dance in front of me and I can't focus on anything.  Nothing but the sexy sound of his skin slapping against mine. 

Someone is screaming ‘Oh my fucking God,’ over and over again.  I try to force myself out of the other planet I’m floating on to see who it is.  Has Jay come home?  Has he found us shagging?  It’s only then that I realise it’s coming from me.  Will wraps his arms around me, kissing my face as I ride it out.  I’ve never taken ecstasy, but from what Janey describes, this sounds pretty similar.     

A serene calm enters my veins, drunk on the love we’ve just made.  Oh.  My. 
God.

He tenses above me as he finds his release before collapsing on top of me, panting breathlessly.      

He flips me over so he’s on his back and I’m lying on his chest, equally out of breath, my chest rising and falling dramatically. Well fuck me, if that’s making love then all I ever want to do is make love again. I had an orgasm. An earth shattering fucking orgasm. I can't believe it, but it happened. How I’d ever previously thought I might have had one, I don’t know.

It was….well it was so fucking unbelievably all-consuming that at first I wanted to ask him to stop. I didn’t know what was happening. I just knew that something was and it was incredible and scary. At one point I actually thought I was going to die. I’m not even joking. My body experiencing so much at once was like a sensation overload.

‘I told you,’ Will says in between breaths.

I put my arms on his chest and raise my head to look at him with a grin on my face. He can't resist telling me he’s right, even in moments like this. I mean, he’s still got his dick inside me for Gods sakes.

‘You were right,’ I grin. ‘I know how you love to hear that.’

‘I do,’ he smirks, swatting my bum.

I yelp, but snuggle in closer to him. Is this what I’ve been missing out on? I’ve never felt the need to snuggle before, but my God, I suppose that’s what an unbelievable orgasm does to you. I feel like I should worship him. In fact, I intend to do just that for the rest of the night.

He kisses me on the forehead before pushing us onto our sides and pulling out of me. I lean into him so he’s got his arms around me, when suddenly it happens.

SQUEEEEEELCH!

Oh my God. The earth stops revolving as I look down at Lulu in absolute horror. Did that sound really just come from her?

‘What was that?’ he asks, seeming completely lost. He looks around the room.

I move to face away from him, but it only makes it happen again.

SQUEEEEEEELCH!

I’m sure now. I’ve fanny farted. Fanny farted in front of the man I’m falling in love with. I cover my face with my hands, as pure unfiltered humiliation courses through my veins. Why God, why?!

‘Did you just…’  He narrows his eyes, before the corners of his mouth twitch. He bursts out laughing and tries to take my hands away from my face. ‘Did you just fanny fart?’ he barely manages to ask, his chuckles booming around the room.

I throw his hand away and plant my face into the mattress. It’s the only way to avoid looking at him. How the hell could this have happened to me? I have the most amazing bodily experience of my life, only to be followed by the worst bodily function to exist to mankind.

‘Look at me,’ he chuckles, trying to pry my shoulders from the bed.

‘No!’ I grumble, my voice muffling into the mattress. ‘I want to die!’

He wraps his arms around me and rests most of his body weight on top of me. I know he’s holding some back because I can still breathe. He nuzzles into my neck, spreading sweet kisses.

‘I’ll be here when you get over it.’

He shifts his weight and moves so that I’m on my side, his body spooned against me. I listen to his breathing slow, getting more comfortable, until I hear his soft snores. I may have just fanny farted, but right now, in the arms of the man I’m falling for, I don’t feel half bad.

Friday 7
th
November

By the time I wake up the next morning I’m facing him completely. He groans softly before his eyes flutter open, his pert mouth falling into a lazy smile. I smile back, happy in the knowledge we’ll never speak of fanny fart gate again.

‘So,’ he smiles slowly, ‘I take it last night was your first orgasm.’

How the hell would he know that? I never confirmed that to him.

‘What?’ I blush. ‘How did you…’

‘You kept shouting that you were scared as you were coming close to it,’ he grins widely. ‘Not the normal reaction of someone used to how their body orgasms.’

I cover my face in my hands. If possible this is more embarrassing than the fanny fart. No. Dear God, I’m definitely wrong. Both are mortifying.

‘I’m your first,’ he grins confidently, stroking my hip, ‘and I’ll be your last.’

***

As the bodies start shuffling in, removing their coats and scarfs, I start to feel my nerves play havoc. Why did I think this was a good idea again? I should have at least watched a motivational video on public speaking. The last time I did this was in English class when I couldn’t pronounce Ophelia and everyone laughed and said it sounded like I was saying ‘Oh feel me now!’ I shake my head to try and get rid of the sound of laughter. Kids are so cruel.

When the last person’s sat in place and I have the attention of the crowd, I take a last deep breath and begin. Here goes nothing.

‘Hi, everyone,’ I call out feebly. ‘My name’s Rose Chapman, and I’m from Belmont Leaf village.’

‘We all know who you are,’ a teenage boy at the back laughs.

‘Aye, nice tits!’ another one chuckles.

I forget people have seen my breasts. Well, not just people;
everyone.
I shake my head, trying to gather myself.

‘Anyway, I’m here to talk about the village feud.’

Angry faces stare back at me. Wow, tough crowd.

‘What would you know about it?’ a fat man in his forties shouts. ‘You’re a bloody Southerner.’

They are such Southerner racists up here.

I smirk. ‘I may be a Southerner, but I’m living here now.’ I turn to the rest of the crowd. ‘Anyway, can someone tell me how this feud started?’

I already know our version, but I want to hear it from them.

A thin lady shoots her hand up. I nod for her to talk. ‘They called us cheaters at the rugby match.’

I nod contemplating. ‘Okay and what was your response to that?’

‘Well, it’s obvious isn’t it?’ the fat man shouts. ‘They’re a village full of bloody racists!’

Jump to conclusions much?

‘Why would you come to that conclusion?’ I counter. ‘Do you realise that we have our own black residents, Lauren and Noah? They’ve received nothing but love and support from the village. Why on earth would they only pick on one man from your village?’

Confused faces stare back at me.