Tenure Track (47 page)

When the meeting seemed to be concluded, Lewis called Mandy’s name. As the tall man turned in his direction, Lewis realized it was Rick Benedict himself. Mandy’s eyes immediately grew huge, as she quickly excused herself and approached Lewis. “Dr. Burns, nice to see you!” she greeted in a professional-sounding tone. Before they could get away, Senator Benedict approached, always eager to meet a registered voter. He gripped Lewis’s hand firmly and introduced himself.

“Dr. Burns is the professor I worked for this year,” Mandy explained before Lewis could say anything other than his own name. The politician rattled off his well-rehearsed talking points about the importance of higher education, a speech almost comical in its obvious insincerity. Mandy asked permission of her boss/stepfather to step away for a few moments, which he readily granted.

Taking Lewis out of Rick’s view, she whispered, “What are you doing here?”

He whispered back, leaning closely, “I’m taking you to dinner, remember?”

She backed away, still whispering, “I didn’t tell you to pick me up here. This isn’t very smart, Lewis. Rick might figure something out.”

He pointed out that her father already knew about them, to which she pointed out just as forcefully that her father knowing was much different from her stepfather. “No Fraternization,” she reminded him. Taking the hint, he demurred, asking her to meet him outside at his car when she finished work.

As he waited for her, his mind replayed the scene with the senator. Mandy was right. There was no guarantee that they could get away with flagrantly violating No Fraternization. Someone like Rick might want to make an example of them. Or one of his political enemies could use their affair to embarrass the senator. As Lewis added the potential complications in his head, Mandy arrived, having already changed into more casual clothing. She threw her arms around him and gave him a lingering kiss, as if nothing had happened earlier.

Later, after they were seated in a downtown restaurant and had placed their order, he glanced around the room, noting the other customers. “It looks like the university crowd is starting to head back into town for the semester.”

Mandy looked around, not really noticing any difference in the clientele. “I guess,” she shrugged. Under the table, she placed a hand on his knee. “So did ya have fun at the capitol today?”

Now he shrugged. “I guess. It was interesting seeing you in your element. All official-like.”

Mandy rolled her eyes. “Oh yeah, my element. Sure.”

Lewis insisted that he was serious, complimenting her professionalism and deportment. “Your stepdad is definitely the politician.”

“
Oh yeah,” she said, sitting up straight and moving her hand back to the table. “Mr. Shmooze. But I have learned a lot about policy-making by working in his office.”

“
That’s good,” he smiled, then, without missing a beat, “I guess it could be pretty embarrassing for him if the public knew his stepdaughter was dating a professor.” Her back stiffened as Lewis pointed out, “Summer’s almost over, Mandy.”

“
I know,” she commented flatly.

“
What are we going to do?”

She threw the question back at him. “What do
you
want to do? You’re the one who could get into trouble.”

He mulled the question. The option wasn’t really what he
wanted
to do, but what he
should
do. He knew what he wanted, but he couldn’t have it if the wrong people found out about them.

Before he could say anything, the waitress brought their food. He tried to lighten the mood. “I think right now I want to eat and enjoy our evening.”

After dinner, they decided to catch a movie. One of the historic theaters was having the last of its summer classic film series,
Now Voyager.
Neither one of them had ever seen the movie, but knew of its reputation as a romantic weepy. They weren’t quite prepared for the parallels the story of a forbidden love affair had with their own relationship. During the closing scene, when Bette Davis, having spurned her married lover for the higher cause of helping his daughter declares: “Let’s not ask for the moon, when we have the stars,” Lewis placed a protective arm around Mandy as tears fell from her eyes. The duo silently walked out of the theater hand-in-hand as a hot breeze of muggy August air blew past them.

“
So, did you like the movie?” he asked after a block or so.

“
Yeah,” she answered, sounding somewhat distracted. “The melodramatic style is kind of dated, but the storyline is still powerful.”

“
You sound like Gus,” he noted with a laugh.

“
Yeah, I guess he’s rubbin’ off on me,” she agreed. “I can never just watch movies anymore without analyzin’ ‘em.”

“
So, Ebert, do you think it holds up to its reputation as one of the all time classic romances?” He stopped and turned to face her, taking each of her hands in his.

They looked into each other’s eyes, both thinking of the similarities to their own situation. As if to vocalize their common thoughts, Mandy dramatically repeated the famous last line of the film. Lewis gazed at the full moon above, then leaned in for a kiss. For a moment, they were Bette Davis and Paul Henreid, standing beneath an evening sky of moon and stars. The magic was broken when Lewis looked across the street and caught sight of a familiar face staring at them. They had stopped near one of the best-known gay bars in town. At just the moment that Lewis and Mandy were kissing on the sidewalk, Perry Waters was emerging from the bar.

“
Oh shit,” Lewis muttered, frozen in his tracks. Perry was looking straight at them, but didn’t acknowledge their presence. Lewis quickly saw why. Right behind Perry, with one hand affectionately around the tipsy professor’s waist, was a younger man who was not Justin. Realizing that the department gossip had been caught in his own indiscretion, Lewis nodded towards him. Perry hesitantly waved back, as his companion cajoled him down the street in the opposite direction.

“
I think it’s okay,” Lewis whispered to Mandy, taking her hand as they made their way back to his car, still parked at the capitol. He drove her around to the other side of the building, where her vehicle was parked.

“
The roomies are out tonight. You wanna come over?” she asked.

He was tempted, but the encounter with Perry had shaken him out of his romantic bubble. Lewis refused to do to Mandy what Laura had done to him. He loved her too much for that. “Uhm, not tonight. You still have to work tomorrow and I have a bunch of stuff to do. Okay?”

The answer surprised her, knowing that they wouldn’t be able to be together again before school started. “We could just sleep,” she noted with a slightly pleading tone.

He sighed, gently rubbing her left hand with his fingers. He wanted her so much, but he knew if they stayed together, he would lose his resolve to do what needed to be done. In contrast, if the end was to come soon, she wanted at least one more night together.

Lewis looked down at the steering wheel glumly. “I have some things I need to think about.”

Mandy took a deep breath, trying not to well up. “Okay,” she whispered, her voice breaking slightly.

Lewis couldn’t take it. Placing her face in his hands, he kissed her deeply, wishing that with one kiss he could show her all of the love he felt inside. Mandy started to respond with more, but he pulled away, leaning their heads together as she had done that night during Spring Break when he still wore his wedding ring. “You’d better go,” he told her. That night, both of them drove home with heavy hearts, resisting the urge to call or text one another.

The next day, Mandy decided to take a chance that they could still have one more night together. She called and texted telling him that she would forego the interns’ night out if he wanted to get together. He didn’t respond.

Over the next several days, she tried repeatedly to get in touch with him, but he would not return the messages.
It was better this way,
he thought.
A clean break.
No contact. Just like during the divorce.
Besides, he didn’t think he could actually end it if he had to face her. Finally, after knowing she was probably out of town, he sent a text message:
I
tnk
we
nd
2
QL
it.

By this time, Mandy was getting angry. She was not about to accept a text message breakup. She continued to leave messages for him, now more hostile than pleading. She confided in Blanca and Julie, who both advised her to tell him off, then dump him herself. By the time she got back to town, she was furious over his lack of communication. Three days before fall classes were to start, she confronted him at his house. Figuring he might not answer the door if he saw her, she waited until he came out in his bathrobe to pick up the newspaper, then ambushed him.

“
Lewis!” she called. He nervously looked around to see if any neighbors were watching. It was too late to run back in the house and hide behind the door.

“
Mandy, I can’t talk right now,” he said in a quiet voice, but she would not be deterred.

“
You can’t talk, but you can text me to break up? What
is
that?”

He really did not want to be having this conversation on his front lawn, but he feared that his resolve would weaken if they went inside.

“
I think you owe me a better explanation than ‘we need to cool it.’”

He stood with his head hanging down.

She quickly tired of his silence. “Would you please say something?”

“
I have to think about my career. I’m up for tenure this year. You just seemed to be getting really serious,” he whispered. “Too serious.”

“
I
was getting too serious? You know that’s BS. You’re the one who used the “L” word first, and don’t you deny it! I think
you
were getting too serious. You thought you’d just have a little undergrad fling and it was too much for you!” she shouted.

He glanced in her direction, but had to look away quickly so as not to reveal his true feelings. She knew him too well.

“
I’m sorry,” he whispered, suddenly having a flashback to several months earlier when he had stood beside an ice rink having a similar argument with Laura. It didn’t feel any better to be the one initiating the break up.

Because he still refused to look in Mandy’s direction, he couldn’t see her steely glare, nor see the flying fist that came at him, striking him right in the middle of his chest. It was a blow meant to release her anger, rather than cause serious physical pain. If she had been serious, she would have hit in him the gut or groin. Gus and Darryl had taught her that much about self-defense. “Damn you, Lewis!” she cried, letting the tears flow. “I at least thought we were friends! You said you loved me!”

He couldn’t take it anymore. If he stayed one more second, his willpower would fail. As he turned and started to walk back towards the door, Mandy ran after and grabbed him by the sleeve. Turning and shaking her free, he imagined that this was not the person he was hurting, but rather the person who had hurt him. Summoning the memory of that icy day, he responded instinctively, “Leave me alone, Laura!”

The two glared at one another. Before he could escape back inside his domicile, Mandy let him have it one more time. “I am
not
your wife, Lewis! I am
not
the one who hurt you.” She shook her head. “I guess Momma was right. Divorced guys are always screwed up!”

Admitting defeat, she started walking back towards her car. “Enjoy your lonely tenured life, Dr. Burns.”

Lewis sprinted inside without looking back. Closing the door behind him, he let the tears fall from his eyes. He hated this, but believed it was the right thing for both of them.

Back on campus later that morning, he passed Perry in the hallway. The diminutive professor asked in an insincerely friendly tone, “So, Lewis, how was your summer?”

Dr. Burns was in no mood for games, today of all days. He stood ramrod straight and faced Perry like a gunslinger. “It was good, Perry. How’s Justin?”

Lewis could tell from Perry’s face that the shot had hit its intended target. “He’s fine, thank you,” Dr. Waters replied.

“
Good. Give him my best,” Lewis remarked, nodding towards his colleague just as he had done on the street a few days before. In his mind, he and Perry had come to their own understanding about remaining silent. Ironically, Perry had not been able to get a good view of Lewis’s companion that night and therefore never realized until after Mandy posted her photo that evening that Lewis had been with his former assistant.

Part Three:

Present and Future