Tension (21 page)

“That’s not true,” George protested and then relented. “Okay, maybe that is true, but I know she doesn’t think that. She knows you both too well; you guys weren’t like that.”

“I can’t come up with anything that would warrant such an abrupt end to our friendship. He was my best friend.” Tears threatened in her eyes.

George draped his arm around her shoulders. “Have you talked to him?”

“I had lunch over there, with the both of them, a couple of months ago.” Stella hadn’t told anyone that Patrick had given her Jamie aka Jack’s ATF file. “It was awkward.”

“You miss him,” George said.

“I miss who I thought he was,” she said. She wasn’t really lying. She did miss who she thought Patrick was, but they’d agreed to keep their exchanges to themselves for now. “I had lunch with Billy the other day. He’s doing great.”

“Oh really?”

“Yep, he’s seeing a really cool girl. I told him that we’d have to double date.”

“Sure.”

“George?” Stella put her head on his shoulder.

“Don’t be mad at me about Jesse. I know it’s hard, but can you trust me?”

“I trust you.” George stood up and walked to the kitchen. “I don’t trust him.”

“I understand,” she said. “He gets that I love you, George. He’s not making a move.”

“He’s waiting, El. He’s waiting for me to fuck up.” George poured more coffee into his mug.

“I don’t believe that, George.” She walked over to where he was standing and wrapped her arms around him from behind.

“You wouldn’t.”

“Are you fucking kidding? It’s worth way more than that.” Stella stuffed the ring box in her bag and turned to go. It was her fourth pawn shop and she was starting to get pissed off. The overweight, balding man on the other side of the glass counter examined her as she turned her back and walked toward the door.

“The highest I can go is eight!” he called to her back as she touched the door.

Hearing his offer, she contemplated her options. The highest she’d been offered was five grand so far. Turning on her heel, she smiled as she faced him.

“Fine,” she agreed. Stella walked back over to the counter and put her engagement ring on the black mat he’d spread on the counter. “Get moving, I’m late for an appointment,” she said, pushing him along. He was looking at her like he might recognize her.

Unconsciously, she smoothed her blond wig and pushed her dark glasses up the bridge of her nose. She kept her face away from the camera she noticed when she came in.
This CANNOT get out.
The media couldn’t know that she was selling her engagement ring from Jamie.

#coldheartedbitchsellsdeadfiancesring

However, she needed to get a gun. Jesse had given her the idea about pawning her ring. She didn’t know why she hadn’t thought of it sooner; it was really the only thing of value she owned. It was worth more than her car.

The pawn shop owner went in the back of the store to get the money and she checked her phone. It was late. She hadn’t anticipated it taking four different pawn shops to get a good payout for the ring. She texted George.

Running late, will see you after work

He replied.

Where are you?

Ugh
, she thought. Why did he have to ask that?

pawn shop

His reply was quick.

Why

It was too long of an explanation for a text. Stella could spend the hours in the car on the way back to Old Town thinking about what exactly she would tell George; maybe the truth, maybe not.

cutting ties. long story, I’ll tell you later

His reply came quickly.

ok

The balding man came back and started counting out her money. Stella picked up the stacks of cash, more than she’d ever seen in her life, and put it in her bag.

The man pointed at the ring. “Things didn’t work out?”

“You could say that,” she said and nodded at him. “Thanks.”

“No problem. You got any more rings like that, you come back!” the owner called to her back.

She pushed open the door of the pawnshop and walked to Millie’s car, which she’d borrowed for the day. Stella didn’t take any chances with this errand. There was no way she could be seen visiting pawn shops.

She plugged her phone into the car and The Woods Brothers crooned out of the Acura TL’s speakers. The song was interrupted by Mille calling.

“Hello,” Stella said.

“Where are you, bitch?!” Millie yelled out of the speakers.

“I got held up; it’s going to be a little later than I thought. Can you take the Metro home? I’ll take you to dinner.”

“Oh my shit, El. This better be good.”

“Well, where do you want to go? I’m sure it will be.”

“El, you’re okay, right?” Concern filled Millie’s voice.

“Sure,” Stella answered with as much positivity as she could muster.

“Oh right, like that’s even possible. The media calls I’m getting for you are a little insane. I’m getting, like, twenty calls an hour. I think you should just move to the middle of nowhere for a while.”

“That’s an astute observation, Counselor. Is that legal advice you’re giving me?”

“No, it’s best friend advice. I mean, the level of coverage you’re still getting is unconscionable. I can’t even begin to handle it. I have gotten a couple of names for you though, people that can handle it. We’ll talk later.”

“How about I take you to the Evening Star Cafe in Del Ray? I’ll even spring for the fried brie.”

“Now you’re talking.” Millie put her hand over the phone and said something to someone else. “Hey, I gotta go. They’re heading into session. Call me when you get close and I’ll be ready.” She disconnected.

The music immediately started back up and again and Stella drove south on 95 toward DC.

Millie worked in the Legislative Affairs Department of the US Department of Education and spent most of her time on the Hill lobbying. Congress was reauthorizing a big education bill this session so Millie had basically been on the Hill every day. Both parties were trying to gain political capital from the passage of the bill so they were throwing grenades at the other side about the current state of the education system while continuing to cut funding for schools. It was ludicrous.

Stella checked her blind spot and reveled in the knowledge that she wasn’t being followed. Agent Harris had called last week to notify her they were terminating the surveillance team they had on her. Stella was surprised it lasted as long as it did. It was a low-key presence that she’d gotten used to having, and while it helped her feel safe, she was getting tired of the constant tail. Today was her first surveillance-free day, and while George was nervous, Stella was ecstatic. One more step on the road to normalcy!

Harris didn’t mention anything about the allegation that she’d blown the undercover ATF agent’s cover, which was a small comfort. Stella wasn’t completely sure that her plan would work, but breaking it down into steps made her feel more confident and productive. She liked to know she’d completed a task; it made her feel a sense of accomplishment.

Step one: sell the ring

Step two: buy a gun

Step three: train her body and mind

Step four: find and kill Jamie

The first step (or at least part of it) happened this morning.
Check.
Her original plan was just to drive north, out of DC, until she found a pawn shop that would pay her for the ring. She’d stopped at four different shops and ended up just shy of Philadelphia before she could accept an offer. She looked over at her bag holding eight thousand dollars and sighed.

The ring Jamie gave her was given to him by his grandfather, he’d told her that. She had the paperwork appraising the ring for twenty grand. It was a round, brilliant cut, three carat diamond on a simple platinum band. It was stunning and she almost felt bad selling it.
Almost.

His parents would shit if they knew she’d just pawned a family heirloom. She would take pleasure in telling him the gun she was going to shoot him with was purchased by pawning his family’s ring. Shaking her head to get thoughts of Jamie and his family out of her head, she pulled off the wig and finger-combed the tangles out her long black hair.

Her life was all about steps now. This step was essential to get money to fund the remaining steps in her plan. The hardness in her chest felt comfortable and familiar now. She welcomed it when she was by herself, but when she was with George, it was tough. It was difficult to pretend she wasn’t changed and almost impossible to hide that fact from the man she loved.

Attempting to hide her newfound rigidity from George was her goal when she woke up every morning. She wanted him to find comfort in the fact she remained the wrecked girl that fell hard for the bartender who made her realize she could feel again. George stuck with her when she didn’t know why anyone would. His love for her was so passionate and complete it took her breath, but everyone has their limits. Stella was pretty sure he’d reach his crazy Stella limit soon, and then he’d walk away. She didn’t know why he didn’t walk away after his first escape from the train wreck that was her life. George amazed her with his strength in dealing with her and her ten suitcases of baggage she brought with her everywhere she went. Stella was petrified that George would realize what she’d turned into and leave her. George was a good guy, exactly what she needed. He grounded her, if that was possible.

Stella desperately wanted to protect George from herself. When they first met she was a mess, but this new hardness inside her was a constant reminder that she wasn’t good enough for him. A reminder that George deserved someone better, even better than the old Stella. The truth was, she wanted George more than anything. She craved his love, his stability, his support, his dimples… She craved the normalcy that George offered. When she was with him, really with him, she caught glimpses of how her life could be. They could just be a couple with a dog and a sex life (and, admittedly, some paparazzi) and that was all she really needed.

It was more than just being selfish; more than taking what she wanted and needed from George. It was hate and vengeance. The hardness pulled her into a darkness that would smother her and she’d be damned if she was taking him down with her. She’d almost rather he leave her sorry ass before she dragged him into her pit of despair.

Risking everything was severe, but she couldn’t help herself. To alleviate the hardness she was trapped in, to shed light on her dark life, to break out of this shell, she had to rid herself of the man that caused it. She had to find Jamie. She had to rid the world of him. That’s what she planned on doing. That was step four. That was the goal.

The weekend after Thanksgiving, George told her to get ready because they were going Christmas tree shopping. Apparently his family always drove to the same tree farm in Leesburg, Virginia, for a tree, and he wanted to get a tree with her this year. Stella hesitantly agreed.

When he’d told her their plans, he leaned in and spoke softly in her ear. “I want to make new memories with you. The holidays don’t have to be depressing, you know.”

“I know,” Stella whispered. Before Jamie pretended to die, Christmas was great.
Why should that motherfucker taint Christmas?
She was done giving Jamie any power over her. With the exception of hate, she had no feelings toward the man she’d once planned to marry.

They drove to a huge place in the country and he held her hand as they went up and down every aisle of the farm until they found the perfect tree. She wanted a small one, to start. They didn’t have any decorations or ornaments, so she didn’t see any reason to get a huge tree, no matter how high the ceiling was. He used a chainsaw to cut down a five foot, perfectly full and round Douglas Fir. They threw the tree in the back of his SUV and drove to a little diner near the farm. George was as giddy as a schoolboy the entire drive.

When they pulled into the parking lot of the diner, George told her to wait. He went over to open her door and helped her out of the SUV. They walked into the diner, holding hands, and picked a booth toward the back. As they sat across from each other, he reached over to hold her hand.

“This is the start of something epic,” George declared, leaning back in his booth and releasing her hand.

“Something epic?”

He nodded. “Me and you. EPIC,” he confirmed. He smiled, unleashing those dimples she loved so much.

“It’s not really the start, is it?” she teased.

“This is still the beginning. I’m going to be taking you to this Christmas tree farm when you’re eighty. I’m going to be cutting down the tree and helping you out of my truck. Then we’ll come to this diner for lunch and hot chocolate.”

“You’re going to be cutting down trees at eighty?” She snorted out a laugh and then covered her mouth.

“
That’s
the problem you saw with that story?” George dimples bobbed up and down. “I’m going to be doing
so
many things for you when I’m eighty.” He gave her a mischievous wink.