Authors: Irene Brand
“I shouldn't have insisted that he play, but the doctor told me that he'd been pampered too much, and that Eddie should live like any other boy. That's all I was trying to do. I can't imagine Mark's reaction.”
“Perhaps he won't know about it.”
“With two kids involved, to say nothing of Ethel, whom I'm convinced reports to Mark on everything I do! He'll hear about it.”
The Sabertons and Ethel left about the same time, and Alice went to check on Eddie. He was in bed, and Kristin was reading to him. Alice sat down on the edge of his bed.
“Tummy sore?” she asked, as she gently lifted the blanket and ran her hand over his stomach. She couldn't see a bruise of any kind.
“Just a little,” Eddie said, “but Ethel said I'd
have to stay in bed. I wanted to play some more and show Troy Saberton that I'm not a sissy.”
Alice lifted Eddie and cradled him in her arms. “Of course, you aren't a sissy. That could have happened to any of us. Troy didn't mean to hurt you. You rest until dinner is ready, and you can get up then.”
At that inauspicious moment, Mark bolted into the room.
“Daddy, you're home early,” Kristin said.
He didn't answer her, but rushed over to Eddie. “Are you all right, Son?” He ignored Alice, and she gave him her place on the bed and left the room.
She stood at the sink peeling potatoes when he entered the kitchen fifteen minutes later. She supposed he'd gotten the whole story from the childrenâhopefully they'd described the situation more correctly than Ethel would have done. Alice turned to face him, and he was angryâshe'd seen him disillusioned, discouraged and downhearted, but she hadn't seen him angry until this moment. His blue eyes flashed like steel, and his lips trembled.
“I told you to take it easy with him. I hadn't paid much attention before when Ethel told me you were pushing Eddie to try things he shouldn't do.”
She resented being put on the defensive, and she spoke more harshly than she would normally have done. “And his doctor told me that Eddie has been pampered too long and that he should be treated like any other boy. Every time Ethel comes here, she undermines any progress he's made by telling him he's sick.”
Alice was so disappointed that Mark had chosen to believe Ethel rather than her, that her normally
low voice was shrill when she continued, “If you want Ethel to take care of your children, that's your decision, but if I stay, she has to stop interfering.”
“I usually don't pay much attention to Ethel, but it's obvious that Eddie could have been hurt badly today. What if that ball had hit him in the head?”
“I'm terribly sorry that Eddie was hurt, but if he lives a normal life, he's bound to have these accidents. Have you forgotten what it's like to be a boy? If he doesn't get out of that room and learn to play with other children, he's always going to be a recluse.”
“He's my childâdon't you think I can make the right decisions for him?”
Alice wanted to tell him that he hadn't made the right decision when he stopped taking his children to Sunday school, but this wasn't the time to bring up that subject.
“In three days, I will have been here a month when we were to determine if I was suited for this position, but it isn't too early to make the decision now. Perhaps I have overstepped my authority, but I only did what I thought was best for Eddie, while at the same time trying to lift the burden you're carrying. If you can't see that Kristin and Eddie are happier, better adjusted children than they were when I came, I
want
to leave. I'm going to finish dinner now, but before the evening's over, I want to know your decision.”
Ignoring the stricken look in his eyes at her words, she turned her back and tried to peel potatoes with hands that trembled. The blood pounded so loudly in her head that she couldn't hear, so she felt his presence behind her before she heard his steps. Mark
placed his hands on her shoulders, and the paring knife clattered to the sink top. He turned her gently to face him.
“I don't want you to leave, Alice,” he said softly, and her eyes locked with his.
“Why?” she whispered.
He slowly shook his head, and she couldn't tell if he didn't know why he didn't want her to leave, or that he wouldn't tell her.
“Will you stay?” His voice was soft and intimate.
She couldn't speak, but she lifted her hand, caressed the dimple on his cheek, knowing within her heart that his reason for asking her to stay was the same reason that made it impossible for her to leave.
D
inner was a silent affair, even though Eddie ate a good meal, obviously none the worse for his accident. In fact, he seemed somewhat proud of the fact that he'd been knocked out. All of the family must have sensed the tension between Mark and Alice, and she noticed Kristin looking from one to the other with anxiety. It took so little to upset the security of these children. Mark made an effort to keep a conversation going, but Alice couldn't have spoken if she'd wanted to. Mark had asked her to stay, but she hadn't promised.
What should she do?
Mark took the children into the living room when they'd finished eating, and Gran helped Alice remove the dishes from the table. After the dishwasher was filled, and Alice was washing the pans, Gran said, “Don't be upset, Alice. Eddie isn't hurt.”
“I'm thankful for that, but I'm sorry it happened.”
“Mark won't be angry for long,” Gran assured Alice.
Alice hugged the stooped shoulders. “Thanks,
Gran. It's comforting to know that I have you on my side. I hope you have a good rest tonight.”
As Gran guided her walker toward the stairs, Alice went into her room and shut the door. What had Mark meant by his words? she wondered. Probably she was no more to him than a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear, but if Mark was learning to care for her, that would complicate their situation. If his feelings for her compared to her love for him, she'd have to leave, for it wouldn't be long before others would notice their mutual attraction. If only a month in his home had this effect on her, she'd be risking her reputation and his if she continued to stay. Already, she was willing to take this man and his family for her own. At her age, she should have known better.
Alice didn't turn on a light, but sat in the rocking chair and stared out the window, observing as twilight faded to darkness, listening to a cardinal's clear tones as it heralded the end of the day. To achieve some comfort, she took off her sandals and unbraided her hair to let it hang loosely around her shoulders. Slowly, she rocked back and forth, trying not to think, but in her mind, she reviewed every minute she'd spent in this home.
So deep was her concentration that she jumped when a knock sounded on the door. She padded across the floor in her bare feet and paused momentarily with her hand on the doorknob before she turned it.
Mark peered into the darkness. “Were you asleep? I didn't know you'd turned off the light.”
“No, I wasn't asleep. I've been trying to sort things out in my mind.”
“Will you come into the office? We need to talk.”
She moved past him and down the hallway to his office. She perched on the edge of the chair she'd occupied the first day she came to this house and Mark took his chair behind the desk.
“I want to apologize,” he said, “forâ¦for several things, but right now, for losing my temper with you. I know you can't understand why I'm so protective of Eddie, but you only see him as he is now, a reasonably healthy child.” He swiveled around in his chair and took a family portrait from a bookshelf.
“That's the last picture we have of our family before Clarice became ill. See how Eddie looked then.”
Alice couldn't bring herself to look at Mark standing beside his wife, so she focused on Eddieâa frail childâwhom Mark held in his arms.
“That's the way I think of Eddieâspiritless, a bluish tinge to his skin, not able to walk more than a few feet before he gasped for breath. I can't count the nights I've sat by his bed wondering if he'd live until morning.”
“Please, Mark, you don't have to explain. I'm the one who should apologize. I overstepped myself, but I want you to know that I was doing only what I thought was good for your kids. I've always wanted children of my own, and I suppose I took my maternal frustrations out on your family.”
“And as for the other apology I should make⦔
Alice held up her hand. “It's better to leave some things unsaid. I don't want any more apologies.”
“Perhaps you're right, but without referring to what happened in the kitchen this evening, I must say something.”
He stood up and leaned against the desk close to Alice, but he didn't look directly at her. “I don't
have any plans to remarryâyou know what a financial bind I'm in, my two children have to take first priority, and I'm not where I should be spiritually. There's not a day that I don't wrestle with my decision to return to the ministry. I don't have anything to offer a wife.”
Except yourself, she thought dismally. She reached out and laid a hand on his arm. “I understand, Mark, so please don't say anything else.”
He squeezed her hand slightly and resumed his seat at the desk.
“But you will stay with us?”
“Yes, for the time being at least, but I'll be honestâI'm not sure it's wise. It may be a mistake for us and the children.”
“We'll risk it. Even after only a month, I don't see how we could manage without you.”
It was easier to talk about her role as a nanny if one didn't look into Mark's eyes and read the message they conveyed. “I'm willing to continue with the status quo. I'll need to go to Alexandria occasionally, but we can work that out without any problem.”
“You can set your own hours, but I
must
pay you the accepted wage for a nanny. The situation would be impossible otherwise.”
“I'll ask Betty what it is.” He needed the money more than she did, but now wasn't the time to mention her financial status. She'd use what money he paid her for his familyâperhaps start a college fund for Eddie and Kristin.
“Since we have that settled, I want to discuss something else with you. If you approve, I want to take Gran and the children to our family farm for a
week. For some reason, Eddie is interested in horses, and there's a pony at the farm he can ride. If his interest persists, there are probably riding stables near Richmond where he can ride occasionally.”
“I'm sure there are. You say it's your family's farm?”
“My grandfather bought it, and it passed along to my father.” She withheld the information that the farm belonged to her now, for John had bought the property to enable her parents to have enough money to move into the retirement community.
“Gran isn't your responsibility. You don't have to plan for herâshe can stay here, especially when I'm home at night.”
“She might like a change. The house is a rambling frame structure with four rooms upstairs, and a bedroom downstairs. As I mentioned before my aunt and uncle, Margaret and Landon Wilcox, are the tenants, and they sleep downstairs, but they won't mind turning their bed over to Gran.”
“It'll be awfully quiet around here with all of you gone,” he said with a slight smile.
“You're welcome to come, too.”
“Maybe over the weekend. When do you plan to go?”
“Week after next, if everybody agrees. I'll have to telephone Aunt Margaret to see if our visit is convenient for her, but perhaps you'd better clear it with the kids first. I'll talk to Gran about it.”
“I'll discuss the trip with Kristin and Eddie tomorrow night, but I'm sure they'll be enthusiastic. Kristin had such a good time at camp, and if I mention horses, Eddie will want to go.”
Alice eased out of the chair. “Perhaps you'd better
say âpony,' since there aren't any horses on the farm. My sister's children learned to ride on the pony, and he'll be safe enough for Eddie.”
Mark moved close to herâtoo close for her comfort. “I can't believe the change you've made in our home in a month's time. Maybe you're a guardian angel sent to help us,” he said lightly, with an amused look in his eyes. “With that blond hair tumbling over your shoulders, you're so beautiful that you even look like a proverbial angel. My life is still messed up, but it's more bearable now that you're here.”
He gently drew her into a tight embrace, and with his lips close to hers, he whispered, “I couldn't answer the question you asked me earlier about why I wanted you to stay here.” He covered her lips with his, stifling Alice's soft gasp.
We can't let this happen, she thought, but it was her mind speaking, not her heart. It would be easier to stop the ocean's tides than to prevent the love they shared.
“Now you know,” Mark said, as she trembled in his embrace. “Just this once. Tomorrow morning, you'll be the nanny in the house, and I'll be your employer.”
Her arms lingered around his neck, and she brushed her lips softly across the dimple on his cheek. “It won't be that simple, but I'll do my best to make it work.”
Â
Alice was still in the kitchen the following night preparing for the next day's breakfast when she heard Kristin and Eddie running down the hallway.
“We want to go, Alice,” Kristin said excitedly,
and Eddie latched on to Alice's legs. Mark followed the children into the kitchen.
“I assume you've told them,” she said, and her eyes sparkled.
“Plenty of enthusiasm about visiting the farm, so make your plans. One of our friends lives on a farm, and they've visited there a few times.”
“It's getting hot here in the city now,” Alice said, “so it'll be a welcome relief for all of us to be in a rural area, and when we return, we can go to the pool some afternoons.”
“I learned to swim at camp, but Eddie can't.”
“He'll be able to swim by the end of summer,” Alice promised.
Mark protested, “Well, I don't knowâ¦.”
“It will be all right, Mark. I'll watch him carefully. I'll telephone tomorrow and make the arrangements. If it's all right with Margaret and Landon, we'll go next Monday.”
Although the children were enthusiastic, Gran absolutely refused to go with them.
“I appreciate the invitation, Alice, but going to a farm is no treat for me. I grew up in the country when times were hard, and I don't have any fond memories of my childhood.”
“But I don't like to leave you here alone.”
“I can manage quite well, and Mark might be lonely coming home to an empty house. I'll be able to prepare some food to help him.”
“He may join us over the weekend.”
“That's fine, and I'm happy you're taking the children, but a farm is no place for me. I can't walk well enough to travel over uneven ground, and I'm better
off where I am. Believe me, you'll all have a better time if I stay in Richmond.”
When Ethel heard about their trip to the farm, she volunteered at once. “I'll come in and help you prepare dinner each night, Gran Watson. We don't want Mark to be lonely.”
Ethel cast a malicious glance in Alice's direction, which didn't even ruffle her feathers. She knew now that Mark didn't have any romantic interest in his helpful neighbor, but it did bother Alice that Ethel was apparently suspicious of her feelings for Mark. They had to be sure that everything in their relationship was circumspect, for she was praying for Mark's return to the ministry; therefore, no hint of scandal should taint his reputation.
Before they left, Alice invited Gran to help her supervise sorting out the children's clothing. She'd observed that their closets were packed with clothing on hangers and stored in boxes, and much of it should be discarded, but she hesitated to do it by herself. She'd gotten Mark's permission to clear out items that the children no longer could wear and figure out what they'd need before school started.
Gran was obviously pleased to be included in the project, which took most of the day. They tackled Kristin's closet and dresser drawers first, and that took the whole morning, for Kristin was reluctant to part with some garments that were much too small for her to wear anymore. Eddie was more pliableâas long as they didn't bother his car collection, he didn't care what they threw away.
It was late afternoon by the time the discarded clothing was stuffed into garbage bags, and Alice put the bags into her van to take to the used clothing
center operated by a downtown church. As she and the children drove into town on Chippenham Parkway, Kristin pointed to a three-story brick structure and said, “That's the bank where Daddy works.”
Alice hadn't known the location of the bank, but when she noticed how close it was to the distribution center where they were going, she said, “I'm too tired to cook dinner tonight. Let's telephone your father and see if he'll take us out to eat.”
“Hamburgers and French fries?” Eddie said.
“I suppose that would be all right, since all we had for lunch was fruit and yogurt. But your father might need more food than that.”
“Then he can have two hamburgers,” Eddie said, giggling.
“I'll telephone from the distribution center and see if he can join us.”
After they carried the bags into the church basement and received a receipt for the items, should Mark want to deduct the amount from his income tax, Alice asked permission to use the telephone. She carried his phone number in her purse in case of emergencies, although she hadn't had reason to call him before. She waited breathlessly for him to answer, feeling downright giddy and flustered.
“Hi, Mark,” she said when he answered. “This is Alice, and nothing is wrong,” she hastened to assure him.
“This is an unexpected pleasureâthe first time I've heard your voice on the phone.”
Oh, please, Mark!
“We've spent the day cleaning closets, and we brought the discarded items to the church close to your office. We've been so busy I haven't had time
to prepare any dinner, and we're wondering if we can find someone to take three hungry people out for dinner.”
She could envision a smile spreading across his face, for since they'd acknowledged their growing feelings, he smiled often.
“I volunteer. Where do you want to go?”