Tender Love (16 page)

For a long time they sat in close embrace without speaking, until Mark finally said, “Are you asleep?”

“No, just content. I feel as if I could stay this way forever.” She stirred in his arms and shivered a little. “We'd better go in. I doubt I'll sleep, but the children might awaken and want something.”

She lifted her lips to be kissed, and Mark didn't disappoint her. “I love you, Alice,” he whispered as his lips hovered over hers.

Holding hands, they turned toward the house. “That's strange,” Alice said. The living room was fully lighted. “I thought everyone was in bed.” She quickened her steps. “Can anything be wrong?”

A
lice stepped into the house ahead of Mark to be confronted by Kristin and Gran, both staring belligerently at them.

“Kristin, I thought you were in bed asleep,” Mark said. “It's too late for you to be up.”

Kristin jumped out of her chair and came forward. “We saw you,” she said, tears sparkling in her eyes. “You were kissing.”

Mark squatted beside Kristin and tried to take her in his arms, but she jerked away from him.

“If we were ashamed of what we were doing, we wouldn't have been in full view of the house. You'll probably see us kissing quite often—we're going to be married.”

“No,” Kristin shouted. “You're already married—to my mother.” She turned on Alice. “You're trying to steal our daddy away from us.”

Had she heard this from Ethel? Alice wondered.

“At least you could have had the decency to wait a year or so,” Gran said angrily. “You should honor
the memory of my granddaughter, rather than take up with a servant in your house.”

Alice couldn't believe this scene was real. She would awaken soon and find it was all a dream. She sank into a chair, feeling like a traitor to leave Mark to deal with them alone, but she couldn't speak in her own defense.

Wearily, Mark said, “I don't have to justify my actions to either of you, and I've said all I'm going to right now. Kristin, go to bed.”

Kristin sulkily turned toward the stairs, while Gran in her slow way guided the walker to her room. Mark turned off the overhead light, and plunged the room into semidarkness. From the light at the head of the stairs, Alice watched him as he stood in front of the window, looking out toward the ocean, with knotted hands jammed in his pockets. His body trembled violently, and Alice knew he struggled to control his anger.

At last, with an audible sigh, he sat on the floor beside her. She threaded her fingers through his wavy hair.

“I wish I could have spared you that tirade. When I think of the way you've sacrificed for all of us this summer, I can't believe they would actually say the things they did. You have absolutely no obligation to Gran, and you've included her in everything, took her to church, watched out for her health. And she called you a servant!”

“Forget it, Mark.”

“I'll never forget it. And Kristin—to think that a child of mine could be so disrespectful.”

“Both of them are insecure. Gran knows that you aren't obligated to give her a home, and if we marry,
she probably thinks I'd expect her to leave, although I've never given her any reason to believe that. As for Kristin, I told you she's possessive with you—she doesn't want to share you with anyone.”

“Just like her mother,” he mumbled, but Alice chose to overlook his remark.

“It's like you,” he continued, “to find excuses for them, but I can't be that benevolent yet. Right now, I feel like snatching you up in my arms, leaving all of them behind, and going away together.”

Alice bent over and kissed the top of his head. “Not Eddie—I wouldn't leave him behind.”

He took her hand. “Of course, I'm angry now and didn't mean what I said. I'm disappointed, too. Just when I thought my life was turned around and that the future was open before me, I have a problem rise in my own household. I don't know what to do about it.”

There was only one possible solution, but Alice wasn't going to mention it now—Mark had enough to worry him tonight.

“Think about a Scripture verse that I read during my morning devotions. ‘In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.'”

“I've quoted that to members of my congregation who were experiencing trouble hundreds of times. Now my own words come back to convict me.” He stood up and pulled her into his arms. “I've been on a spiritual mountaintop all afternoon and evening, but now I've been plunged into the valley. Perhaps God needs to know how strong my commitment really is. But I've stood the test—my plans haven't changed
at all. With you by my side, I can weather any storm.”

Alice wouldn't disillusion Mark, but as she lay awake most of the night, she could see only one solution to their problem. She wouldn't come between Mark and his family, and she didn't believe that Kristin would ever accept her. She kept telling herself that the Tanners could get along without her now—that her role in their life was to come and get them on their feet. Now that Mark was financially solvent and had made his commitment to return to the ministry, God wouldn't need her help in righting the Tanners' world. Did this mark the beginning of the end for her and Mark?

She faced the decision she'd dreaded all along. When it came time to leave Mark and his children, what would it do to her heart? If only she hadn't learned to love all of them, the break wouldn't have been so difficult. Tonight, she'd had a glimpse of paradise—of what marriage to Mark could mean. Had Moses felt the same way when God gave him a look into the Promised Land, and told him he couldn't enter? If it came to sacrificing her own happiness to make Mark's life easier, she'd do it, but she wasn't ready yet to give him up. She covered her head with the pillow and sobbed—hard, wrenching sobs that shook the bed. She couldn't control her sorrow—she only hoped that Mark wouldn't hear in his room across the hall, for she knew that he, too, would be unable to sleep.

 

Mrs. Guthrie looked from one to the other as they gathered for breakfast. Only Eddie was his normal self.

“I've had a good time here,” he said, “but I want to get back to Richmond so I can go to school. Can we come back here again, Alice?”

“I don't know, Eddie. I'll probably sell the beach house before another summer.”

“Aw, gee—I like it here.” He sipped slowly on his orange juice and looked around the table. “Why's everybody so quiet?”

Mark glanced at Alice, but he shrugged his shoulders. “You and Mrs. Guthrie might as well know, Eddie—Alice and I've decided to get married, and Gran and Kristin are opposed to it. What do you think?”

Eddie's eyes lighted to a brilliant blue. “Oh, yes, Daddy. Get married. Alice loves me.”

Alice bit her lips to keep back the sobs. Even Mark's eyes filled as he laid his hand on Eddie's shoulder. “She loves all of us, Son.”

But Eddie's endorsement didn't have any influence on the opinions of Gran and Kristin. When Alice came downstairs with her final load of luggage, Gran was already in the back seat of the station wagon. Without speaking, Alice helped Mark pack both vehicles.

“Do you want Eddie to ride with you?” he asked.

She shook her head. “No, I'm just as well off alone. You go ahead—I'll need to talk with Mrs. Guthrie about closing down the house for the winter. She goes to visit her sister in Florida for a few months then.”

“You are coming back, aren't you?” Mark asked anxiously, and she wondered if he sensed her struggle.

“Yes, I'll be there soon after you arrive, although I don't know what to say and do.”

“We'll go on as we've been doing. Gran and Kristin will soon get used to the idea. It'll work out.”

“I hope so.”

 

The next few weeks were more disturbing than Alice had anticipated. Eddie didn't miss a meal, but Gran refused to come downstairs. She called an agency that delivered food to the elderly, and they brought her a meal once each day. The rest of the time she existed on food that Ethel Pennington brought her. Apparently Kristin had telephoned Ethel as soon as they returned to Richmond, for she came every day and took Kristin to her home. Alice had overheard several telephone calls Gran made to nursing homes indicating the older woman planned to move.

If Gran did leave the house, Alice would have to go even sooner than she expected, but she'd hoped to stay a couple of months for Eddie's sake. If she remained in the house without Gran living there, both hers and Mark's reputation would be ruined.

Kristin wouldn't let Alice take her to school, but asked Susie's mother to stop by for her each morning. Erin looked speculatively at Alice the first time she came, but Alice merely shrugged her shoulders—she couldn't talk about the tension in the house.

Mark was moody, as if a capricious streak had invaded his household, and he couldn't decide what to do about it. The only bright spot in Alice's life was Eddie. She'd taken him to school the first day and had spent a few hours with him as parents were expected to do. He was enthusiastic about his class
and the new friends he made. He talked constantly when Alice picked him up and brought him home from school, and also during the evening meal, which he shared with her and Mark.

One evening when Mark came home, Alice sensed a difference in him—a new determination on his face.

“I see Ethel's car parked in front. Is she still here?” he asked.

“I suppose so. She never invades my part of the house.”

“Will you come into the family room in a few minutes? I'm going to assemble the rest of the household, including Ethel.”

She heard him going upstairs. “Kristin, Eddie,” he called, “I want to see you in the family room. Gran, I'd like for you to sit in on the session, and you, too, Ethel.”

They were all seated, expectantly, when Alice entered. She perched on a chair near the door. Mark stood by the fireplace.

“I'm returning to the ministry within the next few months,” he announced.

“Oh, Mark,” Ethel gushed, “that's wonderful news. I'm only sorry you can't come back to Tyler Memorial. Will you be so far away that your friends can't keep in touch with you?”

“I'm not prepared to say yet where I'll be, or what I'll be doing.” He paused, and his eyes grazed everyone in the room before he continued. “For several days I've been wondering what to do about our family's situation, even questioning if I should accept the pastorate of a church when my own home is in such a turmoil. But I remembered when the Apostle Paul
advised the church on what to expect from their pastors, he said, ‘He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God's church?'”

Alice became conscious of another quality that made Mark a good pastor. Always before she'd seen him as a counselor, a confidant, a servant to his people. Now he stood before them as dynamic as a prophet of old pointing out the sins of his people.

“So I've decided to manage mine. I've never been dictatorial with my family, but I am responsible for the upbringing of my children. In all honesty, I won't consider assuming the leadership of a church when I have an eight-year-old daughter who's rebelling against me and my personal decisions, even when she's being encouraged in this rebellion by adults.”

The silence in the room was almost unbearable, and no one moved except Eddie, who crept out of his chair and scurried to Alice's side. She held out her hand and he leaned against her.

“Alice and I love each other, and I'm going to marry her in spite of what the rest of you think.” He turned to Gran. “You can have a home with us as long as you like, whether it's in this house or in a parsonage someplace, but only if you accept Alice as my wife. If you don't choose to do that, you can leave.”

Kristin was crying. “And, me, Daddy? What about me? Are you going to make me leave, too?”

He stared at her for several moments. “Of course, you can't leave. You're my daughter and my responsibility until you're of a legal age to make your own
decisions. Even if you don't approve of Alice as my wife, you're expected to treat her respectfully as the woman I love.”

He surveyed Gran and Kristin with a stern glance. “I just can't understand you two. Kristin, she's been the best mother you've ever…” He paused and rephrased, “The best mother you can hope to have. And, you, Gran, do you know of any other ‘servant,' who would give you the love and attention you've had from Alice this summer? I'm out of patience with both of you.”

Finally, he turned to Ethel, and she took the offensive, shouting at him. “How can you turn against your own family for a woman who took over your home as if she owned it and ingratiated herself with your children in an effort to trap a husband? Can't you see how she's manipulated you—put you in a position where you had no choice but to marry her?”

Mark held up his hand in protest, but Ethel refused to be silenced. “She's been secretive about her past, but I did a little investigating. Alice is so stinking rich that she can buy any family she wanted—it was a sad day when she chose the Tanners.”

“A sad day for the Tanners or for you?” Mark retorted, and his face was red with anger. “Now I come to the part that I find most distasteful. I've never before asked anyone to leave our home, but I'm doing it now. Ethel, please leave and don't return, and—” he turned to Kristin “—you're not to have any further contact with Ethel. You'll be punished if I learn about it. Do you understand?”

Ethel's face blazed when she stood up. “If she hadn't come here, you'd have married me. We were getting along all right before she showed up.”

Mark shook his head forcefully. “I'm sorry, Ethel—that isn't true. I had no thought of marrying anyone, especially you, but that changed when I met Alice. I firmly believe that God sent her to the Tanners to help us through the difficult days we've had.”

Alice left the room—she couldn't bear anything more. Eddie followed her and Mark didn't try to stop them. She went to her room, sat on the bed, and Eddie cuddled beside her.

“Don't cry, Alice,” he said. “Daddy loves you and so do I. Ethel's naughty to say those mean things about you.”

Eddie's comforting manner brought tears to her eyes, but Alice swiped them away with the back of her hand. “I'm not going to cry. You help me set the table and get ready for dinner.”