Tender Deception: A Novel of Romance (4 page)

Now that the moment of truth had arrived, she didn’t think she had the courage to face it. A wave of panic made her want to escape to Raven’s apartment and hide there with the shades drawn. Her head throbbed painfully.

She moved from the side of the bed to the window and gazed out across the hospital lawn. She could see nurses striding briskly up the walk, their uniforms shimmering white in the bright sunlight. Cars were passing in the street. A lawn sprinkler was turning. A gardener was clipping a hedge. Outside the hospital life was going on in its daily routine, oblivious to the crisis of a patient with the name “Lilly Smith” on her identification wristband.

Except for the persistent, chronic headaches, her general physical condition had greatly improved. Her strength had returned. Her body no longer throbbed from painful bruises. But her memory was still a blank. Sometimes she had fleeting dreams that taunted her with jumbles of half-familiar scenes. Other times fragments of her past seemed on the very threshold of her consciousness, but when she eagerly reached for them they flew away like scraps of paper in a whirlwind.

“Don’t struggle with it now,” Dr. Marshall had told her. “The worry and trauma you’re going through with this plastic surgery is keeping your mind fuzzy. And, in addition, all the medication you’re taking has you pretty well sedated and confused. Just be patient, Lilly. I feel sure when you’re recovered from this surgery, when we can take you off so much medication and your life settles into a normal routine, your mind will clear and your memory will come back.”

Lilly turned from the window and looked at Raven, who was waiting beside the bed. The young nurse had been a rock during this dreadful ordeal. Without her friendship, Lilly could never have endured the past weeks. Now she suddenly said, “Raven, I want to say something to you before the doctor gets here. No matter how this surgery to my face turns out, I can never begin to thank you for all you’ve done for me.”

Raven made an attempt to interrupt, but Lilly stopped her with a gesture. “No, let me finish. You’ve taken me into your heart and your life. You’ve let me live in your apartment. I know taking care of me has added to your living expenses and robbed you of a lot of your free time. And you don’t know a thing about me. I could be a criminal...a murderess, for all you know.”

Raven laughed. “Whatever happened in your past, Lilly, I seriously doubt you murdered anybody. I’ve come to care a great deal for you as a friend. I want to see you well again; we all do. I told you—you’re my adopted sister. So, we’re going to have to think up a good Indian name for you.”

“How about Lilly Don’t-Know-Who-I-Am?” Lilly murmured bitterly.

Their conversation was interrupted by the doctor’s voice in the hall. “Oh, Raven, hold my hand,” Lilly gasped, a fresh wave of panic seizing her.

Dr. Edmund Graves, a tall man with a head of bushy gray hair, strode into the room, followed by a nurse. He was leafing through a sheaf of papers on a clipboard. “I’ve been looking over the results of your tests, Lilly. Everything looks just fine. Now, let’s have a look at the face.”

The nurse had Lilly sit in a straight-back chair beside the table. On the table was a gooseneck lamp which she adjusted so the light would fall directly on Lilly’s face. Dr. Graves sat on the side of the table, leaned forward and removed the light gauze mask from Lilly’s face. He studied her face critically, turning her from side to side. Then he sat back, clasping his hands on his knee. “Not half bad, if I say so myself. Not half bad.”

“Not...bad?” Lilly asked weakly.

He smiled. “I think it’s time you see for yourself. But first I want to explain some things to you. You’re going to see a number of thin, pink scars. Those are going to be with you for a while, possibly six months or so, but they’re going to gradually fade until you will no longer be aware of them. But that really won’t be a problem. They can easily be covered with makeup. As for the swelling and discoloration, I’m glad to say that has gone completely. I do want to prepare you for something else, though. You’re going to have to get used to looking like a different person. A lot of the bone structure in your nose and face was damaged and crushed. In addition to the skin grafts to repair the burns, we had to do some bone restructuring. That has changed your appearance considerably.” Then he turned to the nurse. “Could we have a mirror, Miss Alexander? I expect our patient would like to have a look at our handiwork.”

The nurse left the room, and returned shortly with a hand mirror. Lilly clasped the mirror with fingers that were bits of ice. For a long moment, the silence in the room was tense.

She looked at the faces around her, the doctor, the nurse, Raven. Her Indian friend smiled and nodded encouragement.

I can’t,
she thought desperately.
I can’t make myself look....

She drew a painful breath. She felt foolish. All the weeks of suspense and hope pressed down on her like a smothering blanket. Now all she had to do was hold the mirror up and look into it. Either her prayers would be answered or her worst fears realized. The answer was here in her hands, the mirror that was waiting to mock her cruelly or flood her with relief. Which would it be? How could she find the courage to face the truth?

As if sensing the dreadful struggle going on in her.

Raven quietly stepped forward, took Lilly’s hand which held the mirror, and guided it up so the mirror was before her eyes.

Again, a long silence settled over the room. Lilly’s breath was suspended. With wide eyes, she gazed at the stranger’s face which looked back at her from the mirror. The blue eyes and golden hair were still the same as in the picture in the locket. But there the identity ended. Her face was no longer the same. Would anyone who had known her before recognize her? She doubted it. The face in the locket belonged to another person. It had been replaced with different features.

But as her first shock subsided, it was replaced by a wave of utmost relief. True, as the doctor warned, quite a few pink scars were still visible. But she had a human face again. Not as beautiful as before, perhaps, but reasonably attractive and, most important, no longer disfigured.

Tears began trickling down her cheeks. She looked up at the surgeon. “Dr. Marshall was right,” she choked. “He said you could work miracles. I didn’t think I would ever look human again. How can I ever thank you?”

He smiled, looking pleased with himself. “Things are going to look even better,” he predicted, “in a few months, when those scars fade away.”

At that point, another white-coated figure entered the room. Dr. Glenn Marshall was wearing a broad grin. “I see I’m late for the big moment, but everyone seems pretty happy.”

“The important thing is that the patient is happy,” Raven told him.

“Yes, happy...and very, very grateful,” Lilly exclaimed. A sudden impulse seized her. She hugged Dr. Marshall and kissed his cheek, which appeared to both embarrass and please him.

“Hey, I’m the one who did the operating,” Dr. Graves protested.

“Yes, you too!” Lilly cried, and hugged and kissed him.

Dr. Marshall held up a bottle by its neck. “Raven, I understand you are responsible for this bottle of champagne being in the hospital refrigerator. Strictly against regulations, you know.”

“Well, I thought...under the circumstances—” Raven stammered.

“As I see it,” Glenn Marshall scowled, “the only way to keep you out of trouble over this matter, is for us to drink up the evidence. Sorry, though, Lilly. Considering the medication you’re on, the patient will have to stick to ice water.”

They toasted the success of the plastic surgery. Then Glenn Marshall said, “This calls for more of a celebration. Would you two ladies allow a lonely bachelor doctor to take you out to dinner this evening?”

Raven’s dark eyes sparkled. “That would be nice. How about it, Lilly?”

Lilly felt a mixed response. It would be the first time since Henry Brownfeather had discovered her half dead out on the desert that she would go out in public. She felt nervous about doing it, yet knew that she would have to start making the adjustment to normal life sooner or later. “Yes...all right.”

“Good,” Glenn Marshall grinned. “How about it, Dr. Graves? Can you and your wife join us?”

“Thanks, but Mrs. Graves has me scheduled for dinner with friends tonight. I approve of your plans, though. In fact, I prescribe an evening out on the town for our patient. It will be good for you to start living a normal life again, Lilly.”

“It won’t be normal,” she said sadly, “until I know who I am and how I got here.”

Would she ever know? Why couldn’t she reach through the veil that separated her from the other life...the life that had ended out on the desert? What dreadful tragedy had befallen her? What terrible event had torn her from her friends, from her lover, from her husband, to leave her wandering half dead in that barren wilderness?

She was released from the hospital and she returned to Raven’s apartment. Raven had taken all her mirrors out of hiding. Lilly spent the afternoon becoming acquainted with her new face, gazing at herself from every possible angle. She was especially intrigued by the new shape of her eyes which, because of the skin grafts, now had an exotic, oriental shape. And she had a new voice to go with the face. Dr. Marshall had told her that the huskiness would be permanent.

She spent some time experimenting with makeup and found a combination that skillfully hid the remaining scars.

When it was time to dress for their dinner date, Lilly exclaimed, “It hasn’t been enough that you have taken me into your home and nursed me back to health. Now I’m having to borrow your clothes. I’m beginning to feel like a parasite.”

“Nonsense,” Raven said. “It’s just fortunate that we’re the same size. Anyway, that dress looks much better on you than it ever did on me. It’s designed for a blonde, not a brunette.”

The dress was a dramatic black and white, a perfect foil for her golden blond hair that tumbled in soft, natural waves to her shoulders. The pullover dress had extended shoulders with tucking and a white bodice. The elastic waist was accentuated by a cord belt with a mock shell. The black skirt was a fluid swirl of pleats, and a short bolero jacket, also black, featured soft shirring beneath the shoulder yoke, a curved front, and long sleeves.

“Somewhere,” Lilly murmured, “I have a rich husband, and when I remember who he is, I’m going to see to it that he buys you a whole new wardrobe.”

“Okay,” Raven laughed, “but in the meantime, you’re more than welcome to anything in my closet.”

Presently, there was a knock at the door. Raven greeted Dr. Glenn Marshall, who stooped out of habit as he walked across the threshold. He was wearing a dark suit, which, though neatly pressed, was somewhat at odds with his tall, gangling frame.

When he saw Lilly, he froze and his eyes widened. For a moment he was speechless. She was acutely aware of his penetrating gaze, which, for the first time, revealed more masculine than professional interest. It swept her from head to feet, and she experienced a flush of warm pleasure racing through her with a tingling sensation. He was giving her what she needed most—a look that made her feel like a woman again for the first time since this nightmare had begun.

He found his voice and exclaimed, “You’re ravishing, Lilly! I’m going to have to send Dr. Graves more patients.”

She blushed with pleasure. “It’s just that you’re seeing me in something besides hospital gowns for a change,” she murmured.

“Whatever it is, all I can say is, ‘Wow!’” Then he said, “I was so overcome, I almost forgot these.” He presented a small, square cardboard box to each young woman. Lilly lifted the lid of her box and gasped as she saw an orchid corsage.

“It’s lovely, Dr. Glenn,” Raven cried, holding her corsage to her shoulder.

Lilly’s eyes filled with tears. All that had happened today was overwhelming her. She was afraid if she tried to speak, she’d break down.

“Permit me,” Glenn Marshall said. Clumsily, his big hands fumbled with the delicate flower and somehow got it pinned to her shoulder.

“Thank you, Dr. Marshall,” Lilly whispered, touching his hand.

For a moment, their eyes met and held. His direct, brown-eyed gaze brought a confused wave of emotions that Lilly couldn’t define.

“Starting tonight, let’s be less formal and just make it ‘Glenn,’ okay?” he smiled. Then he said briskly, “Well, this is going to be quite an evening. I’m going out with a lovely young woman on each arm, a blonde and a brunette. All the other bachelors in Albuquerque are going to hate me tonight!” With a grin and a flourish, he held out his arms. Raven tucked her hand in his right arm and Lilly held his left as they walked to his car.

Lilly’s mind was still in a state of confusion, partly from the heavy medication she’d been under. There was a sense of unreality about the evening. Raven chatted gaily and Glenn Marshall was in an expansive, happy mood. But Lilly was quiet, trying to assimilate the confused medley of sights and sounds that bombarded her senses.

Everything was strange, yet somehow familiar. She felt painfully self-conscious when they entered the restaurant. Yet she found herself doing the correct things, knowing which fork to use, but not understanding why she knew all this. There were too many people, too many voices. Later, the flashes of lights, the bright signs, the passing cars, when they were on the street, frightened her.